Apr 17, 2006
Memo to myself
To: Brain
From: Stomach
Re: Lactose, and the tolerance thereof
Dear Sir,
In light of the recent ingestion of two scoops of ice cream with several cubic centimeters of whipped cream, I feel obligated to remind you that we are lactose-intolerant. The discomfort that you are feeling now was entirely avoidable; you have brought this on yourself.
While we appreciate the report from the taste buds that the ice cream was delicious, we feel it is not unreasonable to expect you to keep in mind the fact that the ingestion of all dairy products must be either accompanied by the appropriate over-the-counter lactase supplements, or foregone altogether.
I thank you for your consideration in the future.
Reginald Stomach, Esq.
Solicitor for the Digestive System
CC: Intestines, pancreas
From: Stomach
Re: Lactose, and the tolerance thereof
Dear Sir,
In light of the recent ingestion of two scoops of ice cream with several cubic centimeters of whipped cream, I feel obligated to remind you that we are lactose-intolerant. The discomfort that you are feeling now was entirely avoidable; you have brought this on yourself.
While we appreciate the report from the taste buds that the ice cream was delicious, we feel it is not unreasonable to expect you to keep in mind the fact that the ingestion of all dairy products must be either accompanied by the appropriate over-the-counter lactase supplements, or foregone altogether.
I thank you for your consideration in the future.
Reginald Stomach, Esq.
Solicitor for the Digestive System
CC: Intestines, pancreas
That’s what you get when you confuse your stomach with your heart.
Your digestive system and mine might work for the same firm–except yours seems to have a better sense of documentation. Mine is just crabby.
But what is life without ice cream?
Thanks for the comments on my blog, hope you are having a good Passover too.
Ouchies. I’m sorry. I know well the siren song of the ice cream.
Great post! Also, (finally) the market seems to realize there’s a market for lactose-free ice cream…
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=lactose+free+ice+cream&btnG=Google+Search
Please forward this memo to Michelle’s brain. All of us involved in digestion below the mouth would greatly appreciate it. Thanks!