We don’t really “do” Valentine’s Day. Last year I guess we went out to dinner, but that was sort of an aberration. R—’s birthday is only five days later, and it’s close enough to Chrismukkah that we don’t feel the need to exchange gifts. Usually we get each other a card (or to be precise, usually she gets me a card and I forget and apologize) and that’s about it.

Mind you, just because we don’t exchange gifts doesn’t mean we don’t get chocolates. We’ve started a tradition in the past several years of buying a box of chocolates just after Valentine’s Day, when they’re on sale, which means cheap deliciousness. The problem, of course, with sharing a box of chocolates is that there’s always competition for the best ones. R— and I have hit on the perfect solution.

We each get a highlighter and we take turns marking the chocolates that we want. There’s a fair amount of strategy involved: do you go for your favorites first? Or do you trust that she’ll never pick the cherry cordials so you can leave them until later, and hit the more contentious vermont fudge or chocolate whips first? This year looked to be the standard draw until R— made a rookie mistake: not paying careful enough attention, she accidentally highlighted the peanuts instead of the caramel. Peanuts! She knew right away she was screwed — you always take the nuts last! — and sure enough, I swooped in and grabbed an almond nougat. I might trade her, though, if she really wants one. It is Valentine’s Day.