We don't really "do" Valentine's Day. Last year I guess we went out to dinner, but that was sort of an aberration. R—'s birthday is only five days later, and it's close enough to Chrismukkah that we don't feel the need to exchange gifts. Usually we get each other a card (or to be precise, usually she gets me a card and I forget and apologize) and that's about it.

Mind you, just because we don't exchange gifts doesn't mean we don't get chocolates. We've started a tradition in the past several years of buying a box of chocolates just after Valentine's Day, when they're on sale, which means cheap deliciousness. The problem, of course, with sharing a box of chocolates is that there's always competition for the best ones. R— and I have hit on the perfect solution.



We each get a highlighter and we take turns marking the chocolates that we want. There's a fair amount of strategy involved: do you go for your favorites first? Or do you trust that she'll never pick the cherry cordials so you can leave them until later, and hit the more contentious vermont fudge or chocolate whips first? This year looked to be the standard draw until R— made a rookie mistake: not paying careful enough attention, she accidentally highlighted the peanuts instead of the caramel. Peanuts! She knew right away she was screwed -- you always take the nuts last! -- and sure enough, I swooped in and grabbed an almond nougat. I might trade her, though, if she really wants one. It is Valentine's Day.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. TV Shows: When you feature a URL on your TV Show, spend the extra $6.99 a year and make that URL link to your TV Show's website. ESPECIALLY when the website is actually brought up and spoken in a line. I give you the latest: www.thetoddtime.com. Don't make this so easy.


**UPDATE**
It seems that www.thetoddtime.com does link to something Scrubs related. But in many attempts last night and this morning, I still haven't gotten the page to load. I change my criticism from Scrubs not actually creating the page to Scrubs not doing a good job making sure people would be able to view it as soon as it aired.

This was a great novel. The mystery was gripping, the gimmick (our protagonist has "gaps" in his memory, so he appears to jump from situation to situation without knowing how he got there or what he's doing there) works, and the political satire is satisfying. Going in, I wasn't sure how I'd feel about a novel about the aftermath of 9/11, but this is the way to do it: irreverent, melancholy, and not-at-all-Clancy-esque.

I think a few of the mysteries remain unexplained a bit more than I'd like, but isn't that just like life?

Don't do drugs. Even if you can keep a job because you seem to have an innate talent, you'll likely end up getting fired and letting down the people you're working with. And your cat will die.

2:00: “The trucks just left Nevada and will reach the destination in 2 hours.” See you at the end of the show 2 weeks from now.
-How were they not able to track the helicopter when they can track cars?
-“Interpol he’s no longer in Moscow.” Really Interpol? He’s not in Moscow anymore? Thanks for nothing, Interpol.
-The way everyone was looking at Jack Bauer when he walked into C.T.U. for the first time was funny. Jack Bauer is a C.T.U. legend!
2:07: Why is it that they never have video cameras when sketchy Bauers are erasing cell phone contacts? There’s definitely some sort of surveillance in the morgue.
-Jack Bauer needs to see through this ruse and get to the truth. If he lets his father mess around with him, he’ll need to turn in his legendary status.
-Jessie and I think Josh might know something. He’s been mentioned unnecessarily a couple of times already.
-I’m thinking most people will give Morris the benefit of the doubt in this situation, however, if Morris was the real Morris, he would have built in double trips and blinds into his arming device.
2:11: Now Sketchy Bauer is calling the Sketchy Washington DC guy. Wouldn’t that conversation be traceable inside the C.T.U. building?
-“I’ve got my people monitoring chatter.” Come on, Bill. If that’s the case then why didn’t you just get the chatter from Sketchy Bauer to Sketchy Washington DC guy in your damn building!?
-Wouldn’t the toxicology report prove that there was way more of that poison in Graham than Jack Bauer and Agent Burke administered? We all know it would.
-“I lost control.” Jack Bauer doesn’t control. Control loses Jack Bauer.
-No! Buchannon, don’t alter the report. Don’t even talk about it. “Do this right.”
-If the Internal Affairs investigation will impede the search, why not just hold off until tomorrow? We all know this will be over within 16 or 17 hours.
2:20: How come the VP in this show talks to the President as if he’s in charge. The VP is in charge in real life, he doesn’t even bother pretending?
-I like Assad warning Palmer about people coming after him for unpopular decisions. The Assad character is a good one.
-“Danger High Voltage.” That sign is a metaphor for something. Chad Lowe is electric.
-Is Tom Lennox taping this conversation? Maybe he is and Chad Lowe is going to electrocute him in a fit of passion.
-Chad Lowe is not an architect, he’s a conduit. Like we couldn’t tell.
2:31: Sooner or later, we’re going to have to find out the background on Jack Bauer and Marilyn Bauer. They’ll probably try to string us along forever.
2:33: Do you think for a moment that Marilyn Bauer thought Graham was cheating on her with a couple Russian guys? That would be funny.
-I’m not sure how they shot that, but the way Marilyn just looked up at Sketchy Bauer made him seem like he was 7 feet tall. She must be short.
2:43: This is a Chloe special. SLAP. Morris, she didn’t want to slap you, but she didn’t have a choice.
-Seriously, Morris, you’ve only had an electric drill put into your shoulder, can’t you get behind your computer and help?
2:44: “I guess I’ve been trying not to think about you for twenty years.” I wonder how Audrey Gates has managed to not know about any of this today?
-Do you think Marilyn’s going to “do the right thing?” I’m not sure any of this believable anymore. None of it has ever been believable. None of it. I’m not sure why I watch this.
2:47: Tell him, Marilyn! TELL HIM. This show could really get better if people started acting like they would in real life. Tom Lennox, Marilyn? Who are these crazies? She’s got JACK BAUER sitting next to her. The LEGEND! What is she scared of?
2:53: It’s good to have Morris back.
-Josh is about to run away. That’s going to put Sketchy Bauer in a bad position.
2:55: Maybe not.
-Now it’s too late, Marilyn. You screwed up and now the C.T.U. guys are going to die.
-You’re really a terrible person, Marilyn, I hope you know that. Come on, Milo. Get out of there! Get out of there!
-I hereby take back everything I said about Milo. It’s a good thing the tech vans have grenades and pistols in them. That was awesome.
-Too bad, the bad guys didn’t check to see if Jack Bauer was dead. That was a mistake. They’ll regret it.

1:00: Graham’s death has implications I didn’t realize before. Jack Bauer is now going to think he caused the death. And other people will think that as well. What will this mean for the rest of the day?
-Hear that helicopter, baby? That’s Jack Bauer, THE Jack Bauer.
1:06: I’m not sure McCarthy’s girlfriend is trained for stunt driving like this, but she’s doing pretty well.
-Can’t the helicopter just fly higher and pretend they’re watching something else? Jack Bauer walked right into that one. He’s still rusty.
1:09: Once Jack Bauer saw the silver car, he really should have landed on top of it.
-Woah, McCarthy is doing all of this for $7M? It seems like this chore would be worth more. I would have charged more.
-Do it! Oh Man. I can not believe that just happened. She’s cold blooded. Don’t any of these people know how little $7M is?
1:16: Uh oh, it’s Chad Lowe!
-Tom Lennox is freaking out, is he married to Chad Lowe? They’re arguing like a couple.
-“Go now and draft my letter of resignation and bring it back now for me to sign.” Lennox is ridiculous. His sense of importance is immense.
-Who is this new guy? He wants Chad Lowe to feel him someone out. Don’t worry, Chad Lowe will feel out anyone you want.
-I’m pretty sure McCarthy’s girlfriend is not going to get any money from Fayed.
-Are they really just going to beat him until he agrees to reprogram the bomb? This plan just doesn’t have a high success percentage
1:29: Chloe’s back, guess whose back. Chlose’s back! She can find blocked caller IDs all the time!
-Assad and Palmer, let’s see what happens.
-“Not a puppet, a partner.” Palmer seems like a strange character to be lecturing someone on leadership.
-Look, it’s Hal Turner! Remember how well his last operation went? We’re in good shape, folks.
1:34: Torture Scene 5: (Morris).
-What do you think Fayed? Is there a fire? Bluffing?
-Oh jeeze, here we go with the electric drill. That’s not a good way to get him to do what you want, Fayed.
-McCarthy’s girlfriend is dead dead dead.
-That one was too easy.
-Why doesn’t Morris just say he’ll do it? They’re not going to be able to get out of there anyway?
-Also, doesn’t Morris know they’ll kill him after he’s done?
1:43: Tom Lennox is getting jobbed by Chad Lowe. It figures. Chad Lowe is taking out his anger about Hilary Swank on Tom Lennox.
-The acting in this scene is terrible. Tom Lennox is awful. Chad Lowe is awful.
-“There are people like you…that believe a change in leadership is imperative.”
-Come on Tom, be a patriot. Just once in this series I’d like something like this situation to come up and have it end up the way it would in real life. Tom Lennox needs to tell the Secret Service. I won’t be surprised if he doesn’t, but really, he’s a neocon, not a traitor.
-Can’t they look at a heat screen again? Oh, yes. They can.
-I don’t understand. Do they need Morris to write software or to create some triggers? Isn’t he a programmer?
1:47: How do they expect Morris to arm a nuclear device?
-JBKC: 7 and 8. (Fayed’s guys).
-Sick. “Now.” I should give Jack Bauer a knockdown for getting the guys to fly through the window and kill the other baddie right at the right time.
-Jessie noticed that Jack Bauer never wears a helmet. Silly, Jessie, helmets wear Jack Bauers to be safe, not the other way around.
-HOW DID FAYED GET OUT? THAT’S ALL THEY NEEDED TO DO. CAPTURE FAYED. I can’t even type in caps anymore. Just capture Fayed, sheesh.
-“C.T.U… we got a problem.” You think?
1:55: 3 minutes, eh? I bet he stops the bomb.
-Hal Turner, you’re the man, you found the closet! Now where’s Fayed?
-“Witnesses reveal a helicopter took off”? Really? Fayed got into the basement, into the sewer, into a near by field, had a helicopter lined up, and took off? Really? Really?!
-Doesn’t C.T.U. have a better bomb technician? That’s a stupid question, I know, but, they have guys who go to school for this, right? Jack Bauer was born knowing this stuff.
-Thank you, Jack Bauer, nice job stopping the nuclear bomb. You’ve never done that before, have you?
-Two bombs down, three to go.
-“This situation is immeasurably worse.” Damn it, Lennox, you are weak. You’re about to make a huge mistake.
-Jessie wants to know if “he’s really slipping to the dark side.” Yes, this show sucks.

Man, hippies are boring. This book grew on me, I'll admit, although it remains a book I'm glad to have read even though I pretty much hated reading it. If you want to get the gist, which is worth getting, just read the last chapter, in which Wittman sums it all up for you.

I always expect Clint Eastwood movies to be the most artistically exceptional movies of all time and I'm frequently disappointed. Eastwood does know how to pace a movie, though, which is sometimes code for meaning there were hardly any climaxes in a movie. I'd like to see another movie about a photograph for comparison because I'm likely to go around calling this, 'The best movie about a photograph I've ever seen,' and I'm not sure that would be honest.

I may have imagined this, but did you ever hear the story about how, in order to be able to make The Matrix, the Wachowski brothers had to prove to the studio they could finish a product and they did this by directing some crappy movie the studio gave them (I remember it being a Sandra Bullock movie, but I think it was Bound with Gina Gershon). Well, I'm thinking Michael Gondry had to make Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (weird) so that he'd be able to make the really crazy movie he really wanted to make, The Science of Sleep. Unfortunately, The Science of Sleep may end up being Gondry's Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions, as well.

This was a good look into the opaque politburo that is the MPAA's rating board. My favorite part was when the MPAA admitted making a copy of the movie against its own rules. The film actually isn't rated.