I tried not to post this article about Manny Ramirez from the Onion, but I couldn't help it.

6:00: I like the ex-President walking around C.T.U. like it’s no big deal. That happens all the time. Nothing to see here.
-Logan still wants to be treated like a President even though he’s an ex-President, under house arrest.
-Ricky Schroeder!
-Uh, oh. Milo and Ricky have history.
- Cool move, Jack Bauer.
-JBKC: 11 (Vasily, in the basement, it’s been a while.)
-Jono makes a good point: Don’t those Russians speak Russian, they’re all talking to each other in English.
6:08: Hmmm, Martha Logan back in the show, too. Cool (sarcastic). She’s crazy and she’s what this episode revolves around.
6:10: Ricky Schoreder is a freaking prick. A giant freaking prick.
-Maybe he’s the bad guy?
-I hate this VP, too.
-I don’t think I’m in the right frame of mind to watch this ridiculous fucking bullshit right now.
-It’s cool that they got LBJ without the charm to play the VP.
-I think that blonde woman is the VP’s chief of staff. I wonder if she’s pissed that Tom Lennox is going to still be the chief of staff of the President(that is until the moral turpitude becomes too much).
6:20: The VP doesn’t want to go into the Russian consulate because he doesn’t want any proof that the Arabs weren’t the bombers.
6:22: Look, it’s Aaron! He must be psyched to live with a crazy person!
-It’s funny because she seems crazy, but just because we know she’s crazy, not because she’s doing anything crazy.
-Charles, Aaron no longer has to tolerate your sarcasm.
-Martha, we all know you’re crazy, but we need you.
-“Let me get this straight. They’re desperate so they’re coming to you, and you’re desperate so you’re coming to me.”
6:31: Shavers the helicopter pilot is funny.
-Jack Bauer is the stopper of office romance… That was awesome.
6:33: It’s got to be hard not to shake someone’s hand when they stick it out there like that. Aaron is cold blooded.
-Martha put her glamour on for Charles. Don’t flatter her, Charles, this is about the country, not “us”.
-Jesus, I don’t want to deal with any of Martha’s crazy hysterics. This show is terrible.
-I don’t remember Martha being an alcoholic, just bat shit crazy.
6:42: I can’t remember what’s wrong with Jack Bauer. Did he get drugged or something?
-I hope Tom Lennox doesn’t do this.
-Oh, man. This VP is so smarmy. I hate him. “I say it is, and I’m willing to bet you it is.”
-“These threats are reckless.” You’re damn right they are. What’s the point of threatening that ambassador if they all know there’s nothing his country can do.”
-I wish Martha and Charles hadn’t been reintroduced this year. We could have done so well without them. I’m serious.
-Martha’s going to hurt herself and not be able to do the call. She’s way more crazy than last year. They keep focusing on that knife.
6:47: People always hate when the people they’re used to fighting with won’t give them the satisfaction of a fight. That’s what’s really bugging Martha.
-Oh, great, Martha just killed Charles.
-They kept focusing on the knife, you knew it was going to happen.
-If the ex-President is under a secret agreement house arrest, how does this get announced to the press. And is the country ready to lose 2 Presidents in one day? “24” is nuts.
6:53: She’s seemed to calm down a lot just now.
-Is the same Russian President as last year, I can’t remember?
-Yes, the Russian Consulate is disobeying the Russian President! This gives grounds for the US to attack.
-“The United States of America has the support of the Russian State.” That was a YES! Moment for me. I loved that.
-JBKC 12 and 13 (Russian Soldiers?!)
-It seems strange the Russian President would allow all the guards to get killed like that, but maybe that’s how they do things in Russia. Couldn’t he have called someone else and told them what was at stake?
-Did Jack Bauer break a rib when he fell down the stairs? That’s the only thing I can think of.
-Why didn’t they take ex-President Logan to the hospital by helicopter? That seems like the logical thing to do considering, well, they had a helicopter right there and he’s an ex-President!

What are the chances that two people make the exact same movie at the exact same time? Whatever they are, they make it impossible to review Infamous without referencing or considering Philip Seymour Hoffman's Capote, as the entire time I felt like I was watching a movie I had seen already. My suggestion is to watch both movies at the same time to decide which one is better.

This movie created such a stir in the media when it came out that by the time I watched it, I expected it to be bigger or more important somehow, though I wasn't disappointed. I am convinced that the wrestling scene between Borat and his manager could have been released as a short and that six minute movie would still have been listed on just as many Best of 2006 lists. Borat 2 should be just as fun if not harder to make.

How do you make a movie about a book without any plot and a main character that is an industry/conspiracy/lunch option? You fill it with cameos, use the dialogue of secondary characters to clumsily jam in interesting/important factoids, and hope for the best. But please be careful when you're making these movies, because it doesn't always work.

...And I don't seem to mind it. I thought that I might, and I reserve the right to mind it two months from now, but for now, he's providing a different perspective on interesting things. His post on the loss of Vukovich was probably what sealed it in the short term for me.

I'm going to give it some time before erasing it from the feed reader, but in the short term, I'll nominate it for "The Best Blog by an Athlete that is an Integral Member of his Team". (With apologies to Paul Shirley. Great blog, marginal player).

I'd like to say that if I had written this review right after watching the movie I would be able to come up with one or two redeeming qualities. As it is, a week later, this movie means nothing to me and won't to you either. This movie smacks of a 'paycheck job' and just remember what they say, not every mockumentary can be glorious and ridiculous.

5:00: So the President got blowed up. Judging by how long that takes people out of commission in past seasons, President Palmer should be in major surgery for all of this episode. We should see him back in indecisive action sometime next week.
-Wouldn’t the Russians know President Logan was under house arrest or was that some sort of secret deal?
-Why isn’t Jack Bauer using this time productively instead of chatting with Logan? This should be a long car ride.
-So Assad died. You’d like to think the US Government is more sophisticated than to blame Assad for this, but, well, this is “24” we’re talking about.
-I just missed that. Did the doctor say that President Palmer escaped getting directly exploded. Then he said that it would be a miracle if he survived? What does that mean?
-I’m thinking that when Reed Pollack’s plot gets foiled, he’ll be the first person to spill is beans in exchange for immunity.
-Why doesn’t Tom Lennox just say he agrees and then turn them in?
-I don’t think Tom Lennox is going to do the right thing.
-The three of them look so guilty.
-YES!!!!!!!
-FINALLY. FINALLY SOMETHING ON “24” GOES THE RIGHT WAY.
5:16: So do we think Lennox is going to be overruled in favor of the US attacking Assad and his unknown Arab Nation?
-Why is the VP calling Buchannon? This is like Cheney calling folks at the CIA. Oh wait, that happens.
5:18: Jessie thinks Logan “is a fucking villain.” Aside from being shocked at her foul language, I’m not quite sure what he’s up to, but it’s not villainy.
-Oh, great. Afghani veterans.
-So this Russian guy was part of last season’s plot? Interesting.
5:22: Jack Bauer loves going into other countries consulates. He really needs to stop this shit.
-What’s that saying? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
5:29: “They won’t know the full extent of his injuries until he regains consciousness.” What the hell does that mean? When Palmer wakes up, he’s going to tell the doctors what’s wrong with him.
-So this is Karen Hayes how is worked back into the show.
-The VP has Ann Coulter as an assistant?
-Why didn’t anyone tell the VP about the assassination plot? Oh, they’re telling him now.
-Reed Pollack and Bruce Carson are going to say Tom Lennox is the mastermind.
-“Until I have all the facts, I’m not about to tell the country that Assad is innocent in all of this.” Uh, so, let’s tell the country that we think Assad is guilty even though we don’t have any proof he had anything to do with it and do have proof that he didn’t? Right.
-Let me tell you what’s happening here. This is exactly what Bush and Cheney did after 9/11 in regards to Iraq. This is yet another example of the creators of “24” aping the Bush Administration. What I STILL don’t understand is who watches this and thinks it makes any sense at all? How could even a supporter of Bush watch this, see how ridiculous the VP is being by ignoring any and all information contrary to his beliefs, and think it’s a good thing? How? I’m not saying this right, so let me try again. The VP is being made to look like a jackass for ignoring information that doesn’t jive with his beliefs. This is exactly what has happened time and again in the current administration. What I don’t get is why the creators of “24” want to make the current administration look like jackasses.
5:35: Jack Bauer speaks great Russian.
-Jack Bauer is a whispery international incident. All the time.
5:43: “A situation has developed at the Russian Consulate.” “What kind of situation?” “Jack Bauer…” OK, you don’t need to go further than that.
-Is this the way that government works? The Russian President phones his counterpart mere minutes after Markov is taken hostage, and the VP calling a press conference 40 minutes after an assassination attempt on the President. My guess is that if an assassination attempt happened in the White House bunker, there’s no way we’d hear about it for several hours.
-The Russian President seems nervous.
-Torture Scene: 10 (Russian Consulate)
-Uh, oh. You screwed up big time, Mr. Russian Consulate.
-I’m thinking he loses at least 1 finger before telling.
-There it goes.
-So they’re launching aerial drones in two hours? Why is the Russian consulate smiling and laughing about it?
-Jack Bauer just got blowed up without even being able to communicate his info…
-That means Jack Bauer will be in custody for just around two hours before escaping somehow or getting released and then getting the drones exploded, right?
-Didn’t they shoot down something with a nuclear bomb on it a couple years ago?
-5:54: YES! Buchannon is the man! Drawing up plans to storm the consulate.
-This is better than I thought it was going to be, but it’s still suspect that the message is going to get out of there.
5:58: This is where the Russian gets shot.
-Too easy.
-How’d that Russian guy know to kill that other Russian guy?

It was definitely a better episode this week, but it didn’t end strongly. The scenes from next week do look kind of cool when the US goes to war with Russia. At least on a little part of Russian soil in CA.

One reason I enjoy watching movies I've never heard of is because I have zero expectations and I can't be disappointed. I hadn't intended to watch this when it was put on, but I was hooked and amused by David Bowie's Warhol. We've all seen this movie one hundred times, just about different artists.

Holy crap, is this bad. I remember that I, and my whole group of friends, really liked this book in high school.

This book is the most bald-faced, pathetic, half-assed ripoff of the Fellowship of the Ring I can imagine. Practically every character is just a lamer version of a character from Tolkien. Shea Ohmsform is basically Frodo, only an idiot. Flick is basically Sam, only an idiot. Balinor is basically Aragorn, only an idiot. Allannon is basically Gandalf, only an idiot -- and kind of an asshole. And on and on.

But, look, I can excuse a derivative book. Most modern fantasy is derivative of Tolkien. But the writing and the (to put it charitably) characterization are so wooden and clumsy that I can't look past any of the other flaws. I listened to this as an audiobook, and it's not a good sign when I'm driving down the highway shouting, "Show! Don't tell!" and "Are you kidding me?" every mile.

How's this for another one: 18 hours into a 24 hour audiobook, the first female character appears. Yeah.

(Wikipedia seems to indicate that the later books in the series are less egregiously bad -- maybe Brooks got better. I'm probably not going to find out.)