Unlikely Words

I realized I wasn’t going to make it home in time and I really didn’t want to have to figure out how to watch the episode. So I called my trusty friend Jono to step in. Here goes nothing:

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Since Aaron has his priorities all screwed and put thousands of years of tradition celebrating Passover over Jack Bauer I am taking over the “24 Blog” for the first 20 minutes of the show.

Without further adieu I give you the beginning of tonight’s episode:

9:00: Looks like we begin with the VP still pissed off after last week. Ho hum.
-Ooh wait a sec. President Palmer is asking for a shot of adrenaline so he doesn’t have to use a wheelchair when he bitchslaps the VP. I didn’t know patients could just randomly get shots of adrenaline. I’ll have to look into this next time I go into the hospital.
-Wait for it. Here he comes. Yup, he got the shot and is now walking into the super secret bunker. Yes walking. The dood who just 30 minutes ago was in a coma. Oh divine intervention! Well that and a shot of adrenaline.
-Now, there seems to be some sort of “mock” trial where they’re trying to figure out if the VP can invoke the 25th amendment. I’m not sure the writers of the 25th amendment had shots of adrenaline in mind when writing it however. I guess in the end this is a good civic lesson for the children of the USA. Which can’t be that bad.
-Here we go. The cabinet will take a break and reconvene in 10 minutes to figure out if President Adrenaline or VP TV Character Modeled on Cheney will be the true president.
9:13: Sexual tension at CTU continues between Nadia and the Milo. “Let’s not worry about it now” Nadia. Milo “I’m not going to forget about the kiss.” Reowwwww. I can
-Silver Spoons does the ol secret phone call to Nadia to admit to her that there wasn’t a mole. But wait a sec. now Spoonie thinks that Milo was just dumb and inadvertently let the terrorists get into the CTU computer system.(Yeah, I was wondering how they were going to just skip over the fact that the one of the USA’s intelligence agencies got hacked and not try to explain it. –Aaron)
-OK. Back to the secret bunker. The cabinet is now going to vote. And the final tally is. Gee what a shock. 7 to 7. So according to our much loved Attorney General the 7 / 7 spit doesn’t invoke it because it requires a majority.
-Oh Jesus. The damn VP is now saying Karen’s vote is invalid because she resigned. And this is a gem. They’re now going to decide in the Supreme Court. I’m wonder if anyone from the Gore/Lieberman 2000 presidential campaign is advising the show.
**** Here’s where I come back, but wasn’t able to tell Jon to stop blogging. My comments in italics until he’s gone completely. ****
9:24: Nadia is in for the kill. She’s getting Milo away from his station so she can figure out if he was a mole or a dumb ass allowing the mole to get in.
-And here goes Spoonie being a good friend and revising the security parameters so Milo doesn’t get in trouble. How nice. Friends. And it also seems that Doyle is schooled in every religious text known to man since he has the ability to quote one whole sentence from the Koran.
-Doyle’s still looking for answers, while Nadia found hers in the Quaran. Looks like Ricky Schroeder knows it well enough to quote.
-Karen puts the call into her dawg Bill for some comfort. This is what love is. Not this Milo / Nadia crap. Bill and Karen have real, real, real love.
-XOXOXOOOXXXOXOX
9:26: Glad I got to miss the Cabinet vote. This seemed like a dumb plot line. Actually, it seems like this whole show is dumb and I should be glad for every part that I can miss.
-Man, I’m so tired of the terrorist getting immunity from the Attorney General. Can they try to come up with some new stuff?
-Finally, Gredenko. It’s taken 20+ minutes to get to this point. He’s calling the terrorists. Meeting at Santa Monica pier. I’ve been to the Santa Monica Pier and have to say it’s not the best place for Russian terrorists and Muslim terrorists to meet. It’s mostly food stands and seagulls.
-Wait, Palmer is just standing up Presidenting? From coma to President in 30 minutes.
-Now we keep going back and forth between VP Cheney character and Wayne. The both have arguments, but VP Cheney characters blond lackey seems to think they don’t have a chance. Wait. Blond lackey is now going to lie in a affidavit (to the freaking Supreme Court for that matter) that VP Cheney character said that Karen can come back, but just for a bit. Ooooh laa laa, I think there’s a little bit of sexual juices flowing between these two.
-What’s with the creepy VP and his blonde assistant? Are they going to bone?
-Why is the blonde assistant offering to lie, isn’t it part of her job description? Like lying is such a huge deal to these folks? I like how the VP is torn up about the possibility and they’re making him have to be convinced.
-This has to be the season of relationships on 24.
9:33: Recorders. Awesome… The VP was just caught lying. I hope Tom Lennox handles this correctly and has the VP resign. I keep hoping for him. I keep hoping he’ll be good.
-Oh wow, the room that this all just went down was bugged by Tom. You sneaky bitch you! God love ya Tommy boy… Tommy wants VP Cheney Character to call the Supreme Court to make good and say that he supports the President. Tommy is one sly fox (the animal not the network).
9:41: Welcome back, President Palmer.
-Thanks, Tom Lennox.
**** Jon’s done ****
-Uh, oh. Seems like President Palmer is not feeling well.
9:43: I like how Fayed is schizo about his security. Sometimes it’s jump through 60 hoops, sometimes it’s hey just knock, OK?
9:45: Why didn’t they use one of those satellite audio things? So they could hear what was going on.
-I think Gredenko cut his arm off.
-Yup. How did they make it so easy for Gredenko and Fayed to escape? Could they have been stupider?
9:52: JBKC 18 and 19 (Fayed’s men)
I have no idea how Gedanko got out of the bar in the short time it took for J ack Bauer to get in there.
9:54: Looks like President Palmer is becoming an Adrenaline Junky.
-Where are the nukes?
-So this means Gredanko is going to drown in the ocean?
-I think Tom Lennox and Karen Hayes could make a powerful team if Lennox would just let down his guard go with his heart.
-President Palmer is now going to do the nuclear strike?
-I wish I was strong enough to stop watching this show.
-Did you see Lennox on his cell? “Oh, God, no. There must be some mistake.”
-So we’re to believe that Namby Pamby Wayne Palmer all of a sudden decides to do something on his own for the first time ever? Next week, Jack Bauer is going to fly because, hey, this is “24” and it doesn’t matter have acted their entire life because if we need them to do something someway, they’ll just do it..

I know I’m watching the show looking for issues, but honestly, the show has gone down the tubes and is now a sad, tired carcass of what it was when it began. It didn’t used to be a pseudoconservative orgasmic fantasy world. Sure Jack Bauer would get shot once a day and not need much time to recover, but now? There’s absolutely no basis for reality and they’ve consistently requesting a suspension of disbelief only the most willing can sustain. It might not be so bad if the writers didn’t keep taking specific plot twists and turns from past seasons and try to trot them out as original. Next year, I’ll just get the DVDs for all the seasons and scramble them up so each scene is from a different season. It won’t make a difference to the enjoyment of the show. Thanks again to Jon for starting tonight’s episode for me. I didn’t tell him, but he might have to do the whole episode next week, as I’m likely to go to Lucero.

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