Joaquin Phoenix's terrible follow-up to the spectacular Walk the Line, We Own the Night should claim the record for most mailed-in performances by name actors. The basic idea of the story was OK, but everything else was for shit, which might explain why Sony paid $11M for it after Warner Brothers and Universal were involved. Wait, no, it doesn't explain why anyone spend $11 let alone $11M.

Michael Clayton was a great movie, though indicative of a weak movie year, because it wasn't THAT great of a movie. Tilda Swinton's (that is Best Supporting Actress Tilda Swinton) performance was stellar, but only 3rd best in the film. This movie was different, though besides the closing scene, I couldn't tell you why.

As you probably know, dear reader, I'm not Catholic, nor am I particularly religious. If you are Catholic, therefore, I wish to apologize in advance if you're offended by how gut-bustingly ridiculous I find this (A1! above the fold!) article that appeared in today's Providence Journal:

Pastor drops ban on white dresses for First Communion

The Rev. Joseph Creedon, who has led Christ the King Church for nearly three decades, had forbidden Bailee, and all First Communion recipients, from wearing white.

But he relented yesterday, agreeing to let Bailee receive her First Communion with a sweater covering her dress.

His requirements are that she “disguises the white dress with a blue sweater,” he said, and that her mother, Christine Cota, attend Mass regularly. His change of heart, he said, was guided by prayer.

Father Creedon ended a phone conversation with a reporter abruptly by hanging up when asked to explain his objections to white.

The article is great because it has the form and structure of a news article while being, in actuality, a "no, seriously?" story about a hilariously petty man.

I wonder if it says something about the ProJo or its readership that the in-depth reporting on the tense negotiations over what a seven-year-old may or may not wear to church got higher front-page placement than this article. Seriously, I feel like I've been punked.

Following up on a post from last week, there is news that Upper Deck will be making a couple cards featuring candidates for president. They actually look pretty funny. Bush and Gore are on a card showing Knoblach missing the tag on Offerman during the playoffs.

A full-scale evacuation from a North Sea oil rig was sparked after a female employee apparently told colleagues of a dream she had about a bomb being on the platform.

Wait, that's just too stupid. That can't be true. Can it?

Police began an investigation after the evacuation of 161 of the more than 500 people on the Safe Scandinavia, a floating accommodation block that forms part of an oil installation 130 miles north of Aberdeen. Police were waiting to question the woman, 23, last night after she was detained by the rig’s manager and flown to the mainland.

...

Bomb disposal experts were placed on stand-by and up to a dozen RAF, coastguard and civilian helicopters scrambled to the rig after the decision to evacuate all personnel was taken by the operators at 9.20am. Police emphasised that the incident was “not considered terrorism-related”. By the time the alert was later declared a hoax, workers had been airlifted from the platform to two nearby rigs.

Dear God. That's such a ludicrous over-reaction, I can't quite believe it didn't happen in this country. Wait, what's that?

Kathy McGill, Britannia Operator’s managing director, said: “We are very relieved that this has turned out to be a false alarm, but we obviously had to treat it seriously.”

Really, Ms. McGill? You had to? Obviously? Obviously? Last night I dreamed I had a flying horse. Should I, obviously, go build a stable with a skylight and buy several bags of oats or whatever-the-fuck?

Watching this movie, I got the feeling that it was spinning wildly out of control, like it was a machine or engine that was about to destroy itself. Then I saw this video on Boing Boing of a wind turbine that broke apart after spinning too fast. If you do watch Unknown, shut it off after about an hour so you won't see it implode.

(PS, I had tried to embed the video of the windmill exploding into this post, but WordPress didn't want to let me. If you have any tips, let me know.)

I've never liked anything David Kronenberg has done and never understood why people do. I loved everything about this movie, though, and think Viggo should win the Oscar for Best Actor. And not just for the fight scene, either.

There Will Be Blood (2007) was probably the movie I was most looking forward to in the early part of this year because of all the hype. It barely exceeded my expectations, which is the problem with my expectations based rating system. This was a great film, but didn't blow me away because I expected the best movie of my life.

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I know, I know. I already posted a sports/politics post today, but I just couldn't resist this. In response to Rudy Giuliani's sports bigamy regarding his support for the Red Sox in the World Series, Topps is going to make some baseball cards that feature Rudy celebrating with the Sox after their World Series win.

(Via Bostonist (via Gothamist))

Arlen Specter wants to know more about the Patriots taping of sideline signals. He made noise about it the week before the Superbowl in a moved that could have been timed only to embarrass the NFL. He wants to hold hearings. IN THE SENATE. I'd explain all the times that his oversight could have come in useful in the past 7-9 years, but it wouldn't be news to you anyway.

Do you suppose it could have anything to do with the fact that Specter's #1 and #2 campaign donors are Comcast's lobbying firm and Comcast? Comcast has been in a protracted battle with the NFL regarding their NFL Network. Maybe Specter thought he could stick up for his beloved Iggles while sticking it to the NFL in the process.
Thanks, again, for nothing, Arlen.