Portfolio’s Jeff Bercovici gets catty while commenting on a WSJ.com article on today’s Super Bowl color commentator John Madden.

Of course, Futterman can’t come right out and say that it’s time Madden confined his ramblings to the day room of a retirement home, lest the AARP feast on his flesh, so I’ve included translations from the newspaperese into English.

Of course, Bercovici can’t come right out and say that he hates John Madden because…well, I don’t know why, but instead he does the, “Here’s what Futterman said, and here’s what I think it means,” gimmick. As a media critic Bercovici is empowered to just go right after Madden himself so I don’t know why he doesn’t.

In my opinion, there’s one announcer, above all else, that needs regular media flayings, and that’s Joe Morgan. Go get him, Berovici.

If you had to choose one announcer to do a commentary of your life that only you could hear, would it be Madden or Morgan? I’d choose Madden because Morgan is so pompous in his incorrect opinions. Plus, Madden would make it seem like a comic book. BAM!