Old friend Julian Tavarez used the ‘beer goggles’ excuse for signing with the Washington Nationals.

“Why did I sign with the Nationals?” Tavarez told a group of reporters. “When you go to a club at [4 a.m.], and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J. Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s [4 a.m.]. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me.”

A couple years ago, I was at a Red Sox game and got a tour from one of the minority owners after the game. She took us out the players parking lot and outside the entrance, Julian Tavarez almost ran us over. Twice.
(Via Hot Pink Sheets)