Why choose failure? Last week's mention of Rick Pitino made me giggle about this quotation and then I couldn't help but post it:

Larry Bird is not walking through that door, fans. Kevin McHale is not walking through that door, and Robert Parish is not walking through that door. And if you expect them to walk through that door, they're going to be gray and old. What we are is young, exciting, hard-working, and we're going to improve. People don't realize that, and as soon as they realize those three guys are not coming through that door, the better this town will be for all of us because there are young guys in that (locker) room playing their asses off. I wish we had $90 million under the salary cap. I wish we could buy the world. We can't; the only thing we can do is work hard, and all the negativity that's in this town sucks. I've been around when Jim Rice was booed. I've been around when Yastrzemski was booed. And it stinks. It makes the greatest town, greatest city in the world, lousy. The only thing that will turn this around is being upbeat and positive like we are in that locker room... and if you think I'm going to succumb to negativity, you're wrong. You've got the wrong guy leading this team.

--Rick Pitino

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Alright folks, this one's for all the marbles. What better way for us to celebrate than for me to be absent for the final Live Blog of the season. I'm on an island off the coast of Puerto Rico, and if you're reading this, I wasn't able to find a TV playing the last 2 episodes. Comments are open and I hope you think of this as YOUR live blog. I'll put up a show review with my thoughts on the 24 finale when I get a chance to see the episodes.

I'll need you guys to keep count of the JBKCs (or Jack Bauer Knockdowns) and the number of times someone says "damnit". I'd ask you to count the stupid things that happen, but no one can count that high. In any case, have fun.

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Anytime Tracy Morgan as Tracy Jordan has a scene on 30 Rock, my brain shuts off and it's difficult to function. It's the combination of delivery and content, and there's hardly ever a scene throughout which, I'm not giggling foolishly. In celebration, I thought I'd post everything he said in 30 Rock Season 3. If you guys like it, I'll do Season 1 and Season 2, too.

Some of these lines are made funnier by adding context. For the most part, however, they're funnier without, so I didn't include any. Yes, this is basically a transcription of his lines without comment and I could have just copied and pasted out of the scripts. However, they're not online, so I watched every episode again, just for you. Leave your favorite lines in the comments, enjoy!

Episode 1
"It's official, I'm a genius. My video game is selling through the riznoof."

"61 million copies at 60 dollars each."

"I don't know, I think I did it alone, and this check is the priznoof."

"I know what you're hinting at, Liz Lemon. That I should get my rap career going again. [Whispering] All in due time."

"Nobles Oblige, yes. Let's go shopping. To the Bat Mobile!"

"Attention everyone. I'd like to thank everyone involved for making my video game the most profitable thing since the war on terra!"

"Yes, I am provocative!"

"Frank, for all your hard work, please accept this set of solid gold nunchuks."

"Petey Pete, for letting us use the sound booth, please accept this chinchilla coat."

"You're going to get so much nice nice in that, you're going to have to grow another ding-."

"Bev, [kissing] mwah. Now you look out for my girl Liz because me and her go way back like spinal chords and car seats."

"You're going to sue me? Who do you think you are, the San Diego zoo?"

"You can't sue me, I'm already being sued. Double indemnity!"

Episode 2
"Do you know who I am? Seriously, please, tell me who I am."

"Liz Lemon! Nemesis."

"OK, two can play at that game. Liz, could you please tell Kenneth that Liz wants him?"

"Mediation is a binding form of non-judicial dispute resolution."

"I watched Boston Legal 9 times before I realized it wasn't a new Star Trek."

"What? Please. We are here because white folks think they can do whatever they want to black folks. It's like when Adrian Brody kissed Halle Berry at the Oscars."

"White people stole jazz, rock and roll, Will Smith, AND heart disease. Now they think they can take my hard earned money."

"Liz Lemon? That chick is dumb."

"Do you know it's still illegal to be black in Arizona."

"If it weren't for your people I'd still be in Africa. Gorgeous, politically stable, Africa."

"Whatever, you couldn't last one day in my shoes, Maroney, right, Toph?"

"OK, I will."

"Freaky Friday social experiment."

"Liz, it's Becky, your college roommate. See Liz Lemon, you're already treating me with more respect."

"You wait til I test this noise out on society. Minds will be blown."

"You can't fix this Liz Lemon, it's about race. It's about man and woman. It's about money. It's about being on TV. And no one understands all that."

"Hi strangers, do you think I'm sexy. Giggle, giggle, giggle."

"I'm meeting my girlfriends for brunch, I hope we can sit outside. Lipstick. Heeheehee."

"Good morning!"

"They ran out of white makeup because I insisted they do my buttocks."

"Good morning!"

"Jenna and I are doing a social experiment."

"I haven't seen Oprah since she did that episode about the worst celebrity dads."

"Uh, how you doing?"

"It's the way my world is right now."

"I've been hearing, but I haven't been listening."

"Lean on me, when you're not strong."
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To brighten your day.

I was hoping this one had been put to bed after Season 3, but unfortunately, it carries on. The creator's humbly requested suspension of disbelief was honored in Season 1, and then incrementally taken advantage of in succeeding seasons - it's shit all over here. I'll watch Season 5, but only because my wife likes it.

1. Print Brigade, or PRBR, has got just what you need for your body. That is, if you like wearing good looking T Shirts. (If you don't believe me because they're friends, would you believe Thrillist?)


2. Family Dinner for One, or FDF1, has got just what you need for your body. That is, if you like wearing good looking T Shirts. (If you don't believe me because they're acquaintances, would you believe The Boston Globe?)


Both places have several designs, so if you don't like bicycles or kittens, you can still have fun.

Hoping it helps the Celtics win tonight, here are the four pictures tied for second place in the, "Funniest Big Baby Davis Picture" contest. (The winner is obviousy this hilarious picture.)

What is it, Malcolm Gladwell Week on Unlikely Words? Bill Simmons just put up a 3 part email discussion (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3), check it out if you want to say goodbye to your morning. Not sure if this is a resurrection of the Curious Guy feature Simmons used to do a couple years ago, but if you want to say goodbye to tomorrow as well, here are the other Curious Guy discussions.

NBA Commissioner David Stern and Bill Simmons

Bill Simmons and Dallas Mavericks Owner Mark Cuban

Curt Schilling and Bill Simmons

Bill Simmons and Chuck Klosterman Part 1 and Part 2

Malcolm Gladwell and Bill Simmons Part 1 and Part 2

Bill Simmons and the Screenwriters of 'Rounders, Brian Koppelman and David Levien and Part 2

The OC Creator Josh Schwartz and Bill Simmons

This was killing me, but it's Mark Pellegrino.

Has there ever been a show more inconsistent than Lost? Season 1 and 2 were bonkers amazing. Season 3 was uneven tilted towards bad. Season 4 was awful before the writers strike and OK afterward, culminating in one of the better season finales of all time. (Though it was not "a moment without equal in TV history" as Rolling Stone called it in this article about the end of Lost. More on this here.)

Lost Season 5 has been pretty even all the way through with several big reveals that open more questions than they answer. The article above discusses this strategy and the creators' relief at finally being able to let cats out of the bag now that they have a finite amount of time to tell the story. I tend to watch Lost with a bemused understanding that the show will do whatever it wants, and that's OK as long as they do it interestingly. I also don't get sad when characters die because when you're talking time travel, anything can happen at any time and Daniel Faraday might walk through that door. Mr. Ecko might walk through that door. The blond lady that loved Hurley? She could walk through that door.

So do you think they're going to answer all of our questions in a satisfying way? What are the top questions you'd like to get answered tonight and next questions? Add them to the comments and let's have a discussion.

I'd like to know about Hurly's lady love and why she was a patient in the hospital. Some other things I want to happen next year: The jewel thieves who were buried alive show up again and have an impact. (That was the one time '24' got crazy and tested the 'X-Files' theory of non-linear storytelling, glad that got axed.) Also, earlier in the year when they were flashing through time to different periods in the Island's history, I REALLY wanted them to flash to a time when the island was all developed and golf coursed out. That would have been amazing.

Finally, even though this is made-up conjecture, you heard it here first, the founder of Taza Chocolate is Richard Alpert. See for yourself.


Thanks to Aaron from Taza for the pic.