Unlikely Words » Reviews

List of 1000 Jazz Standards

aaron cohen — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 17:23:56 +0000

This list features 1000 Jazz standards. For some reason, the list is ranked, letting us know that while 1930's Body and Soul is the number one Jazz standard, 1946's To Each His Own is number 1000. How you quantify the 1000 top Jazz standards is so far beyond me, it's on another blog, but these guys have done it.

Via Balloon Juice.

###

Possibly related posts:

Andrew McCarthy on Imperial Gardens

aaron cohen — Fri, 28 May 2010 20:14:35 +0000

Weird. Here's Andrew McCarthy who played Clay in the movie version of Bret Easton Ellis' Less Than Zero talking about Imperial Gardens, the sequel of Less Than Zero. "Oh, him. I remember him." The voice you'll hear in the audiobook of Imperial Gardens is McCarthy. I guess he's available.

via sagatrope

###

Possibly related posts:

Sally Draper Made Series Regular on Mad Men

aaron cohen — Wed, 26 May 2010 17:55:16 +0000

Via SeattkePI news that Kiernan Shipka, who plays Sally Draper on Mad Men has been made a series regular. Not sure how I feel about her being on more episodes next season.

Last season was really hard for Sally, and next season is going to be even harder. It's really going to be about Sally growing up and reacting to whether her parents get divorced or not.

Via TV Tattle

###

Possibly related posts:

Everything Tracy Jordan Said Season 4

aaron cohen — Wed, 26 May 2010 12:27:58 +0000

Subscribe by RSS, or on Twitter, or by email or on Facebook or on Tumblr

Last year, I put together a transcript of Everything Tracy Jordan Said in Season 3 of 30 Rock. You guys liked it and I subsequently put together Everything Hurley Said, Everything Sawyer Said, Everything Locke Said, Everything Don Draper Said, and a the first two seasons of Everything Tracy Jordan Said. Here is Season 4. This season, Tracy Jordan had a few great lines, specifically in Episodes 18 and 21. As always, these are ALL of Tracy Jordan's lines from Season 4. If you're looking for a best of list or this isn't your thing, there's plenty of other internet out there for you. It's going to take a second to get through, so be careful if you have stuff to do today.

Episode 1
-I can't eat this, I'm a foodie.
-Well, before I made it in the stand up, I was a bucket drummer in the subway.
-Oh, yeah? Then how come I got sued for sexual harassment at it?
-You know how on St. Bart's people be eating their lobster like this? Nyoooom, nyoooom, nyoooom, nyoooom.
-Don't look at me in the eyes.
-Have I lost touch with my roots? I better talk to Rabbi Schmuli about this.
-I blame you and Dotcom. You have built a protective shell around me like a hermit crab or a mermaid booby. And now I've touch with the common man. Ehhhh. Who's that?
-Oh, hey, guy. Come on in. So Rolly, where you from?
-Right on, my brother. My dear friend Moby opened up a tea house in Park Slope. Does he know you?
-Hey, Rolly, you ever lose your remote control?
-And then your wife start getting all mad because the roof won't close and the bed that's in the shape of your face is getting rained on? Hahaha. I like you, Rolly. Can I feel the rough skin on your hands?
-What do you mean that was weird? You sheltered me too much! I'm going out on the street and I don't want nobody to follow me. Nobody. Uhmm. Which one is the elevator I'm not afraid of? RIGHT.
-Kenneth, how do I get out of this building?!
-Hello?
-Hello, is anyone there? I'm in a sort of tunnel and I see a man with a blue uniform. I think he's a friend. Oh, never mind, there's a door. Oh, it's sunny!
-Hello, fellow human being. Would you like to ask me what time it is?
-Are you a large child or a small adult?
-You look regular, could I get your name? Is it Pedro? Is it Creckford? Is it Swimming?
-Are you a pre-op transcentaur?
-Excuse me, do you have change for a $10,000 bill?
-I would like some chicken nuggets, a beer, and some of my wife's rice, to stay.
-Excuse me, sir, do you want to hold hands with a black millionaire?
-Does anyone want to be my friend?
-I'm normal!
-It's going super great, Dotcom. Meet my new friends, Nobody. And his wife Susan Walters Hyphen Nobody. I'm so far from my roots, I don't think I'll ever get back.
-What's that sound? Bucket drummers!
-These. These are my people. Bucket drummers, if you're striking, so am I. Two-four-six-eight-ten-twelve-fourteen-sixteen-eighteen.
-New what? If it's a blonde woman, I'm a kill myself!

Episode 2
-Liz Lemon, you booger face. I'm going to kill you with a bazooka.
-I bought my wife that dumb book of yours and the more Angie reads it, the madder she gets at me.
-No, it's off me. A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber factory. It's on you, Liz Lemon, and you will be punished.
-Congratulations, Liz Lemon, now Angie wants a break. So instead of going to a hotel or my hotel, which I can not find, I'm staying with the woman that started this problem in the first place.
-Oh, yeah. There's a garbage bag in the hallway with a reef shark in it. Just put him in the tub with a reef. What's for dinner tonight? I want pierogies.
-Tracy and Liz's residence. Tracy speaking.
-It's Jenna, from work.
-Too soon.
-What's wrong, roomie?
-Hahahah.
-Hahahah
-Hahahaha
-Hahahah.
-Tracy and Liz's. Tracy speaking
-Now that we're all up, do you want to talk about the elephant in the room?
-I mean the figurative elephant. Liz, I been reading your book. Now I see why Angie's mad at me. 'If your man has seven cell phones, but won't give you any of the numbers, that's a deal breaker. If your man has a diamond necklace that says, 'Open Marriage', that's a deal breaker.' Liz Lemon. Every little thing I've done is in here. You used me to write your book!
-You stole my life, and you're gonna pay for it.
-I'll take all of them.
-She doesn't like to refill the Brita.
-And I will take the top half, for that is the half with the face.
-Something humiliating.
-Thank you, Jack.
-I'm willing to go splittsies.
-That's a pun on Amadeus, dummy. I will not be judged by you. You caused this whole Pharaoh. Until you are adequately debased, you will subsidize my predilection for erotica. And, oh yeah, I used your credit card to buy an vocabulary course from the teaching company.
-Affirmative.
-Everyone settle. And action!
-And cut! This is disgusting. Shut it down.

Episode 3
-I will eat a bowl of cherries and some ghost meat in his honor.
-Orange and black decorations. Is this Halloween or Princeton Parent's Weekend? I don't know whether to be scared or proud of my cousin.
-Proud it is.
-He's in Cabo?
-What do you mean?
-Yeah, right. That's not a real thing.
-This is gonna be the scariest Princeton Parent's Weekend ever!
-Jack, you have to help me. I'm gonna die any minute.
-Celebrities, they always die in groups of three. Two already died and I might be the next to go.
-I gotta go somewhere where nothing will happen to me. Can you get me on Charlie Rose?
-Keep refreshing, maybe Andy Dick has died in the last 20 seconds.
-No, I have to take matters into my own hands. Boo!
-Hey, Betty. It's TJ.
-So how you feeling? Any arm pain, shortness of breath, plans to investigate corruption in Russia.
-Umm, no.
-You look clean. You a celebrity?
-No, celebrity.
-Perfect, I'll show you the shortcut.
-Yes, Queen Latifah's friend. I'm sure.
-I'm sorry, Ken, but I want to live.
-Ahhhh.
-I can't. I don't wanna die.
-What's wrong, Ken? That hatchet isn't real, is it?
-That's three! Tell my wife I went to Philadelphia on business! Yeah ha!

Subscribe by RSS, or on Twitter, or by email or on Facebook or on Tumblr

Episode 4
-Jennifer M. Why are you so worked up?
-Nothing's gonna change. They're gonna hire some skinny white guy. How is that a threat? You'll do your lady characters and I'll get on stage and people will laugh even when I forget my, um, my…line?
-Lines.
-Oh, yeah, I forgot, Dotcom, you know everything about acting because you played a bird in some stupid school play, hahahahaha. Hahahah.
-Where?
-He's Evil Tracy? Oh, he's evil comma Tracy. Go on.
-Dotcom? Oh no. I once saw that guy BECOME Trigorin at the Wesleyan Art Space. That guy is good. I can't compete with him.
-OK, let's go.
-I repeat. All funny gays into the car.
-We need the funniest fool to step forward.
-That'll work.
-And this is a reimbursement form for my gas. I drove a million miles.
-Paranoia! Where?
-Was describing your sandwich necessary to our understanding of what happened?
-Tell me more.
-And that freaks people out, huh? This is a learning and friendship adventure.
-Hey, Dotcom. Nice to meet you.
-Who, Brian Williams?
-My two cents, I liked the janitor.

Episode 5
-Hey, Jackie D. I hope the new dude isn't hard to work with like some people I know.
-Liz Lemon, you are blowing up like a balloon with a grenade in it.
-When I first got big, I made bad business decisions, too. Which is how I stuck having to plug Wade Boggs Carpet World 5 times whenever I appear on screen.
-Wade Boggs Carpet World. Wade Boggs Carpet World. Wade Boggs Carpet World.
-He knows your special like a black stripper with blue eyes. You have to test the marketplace.
-And one last piece of advice, Liz Lemon, from someone who has been on this side of the business for a long time. Wade Boggs Carpet World.
-From now on, I shall call us the Problem Solvers.
-Yo, Ken, do you have a problem that needs solving?
-Always have been, always will be.
-It's not about the room, Danny. It's about the man. Any room around here you see with a door, you make it your bathroom.
-Ken, you don't want to be a page forever.
-What? No, I mean, what's your dream job? Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
-So, someday you could be my boss.
-No, I'll brush my own teeth. Now I don't want you to have any resentments towards me. From now on, I don't want you to do anything for me.
-Hey, Jackie D. What's wrong? You're not your usual giggly self.
-Just to be safe, let's do both.
-You're not really capturing the sexual energy of it, but that was the message.
-Well, I could introduce you to my boy, Scotty Shofar.
-Hell, yeah. I'm a frequent guest of sports shouting.
-Ahhhhhhhhh.
-Nah, introducing you to Scotty probably wouldn't solve your problems with Jack.
-I don't know, all white people look the same to me, Pete.
-That's what Danny was saying. We have to be cool to everybody. Because the future is like a Japanese game show. You have no idea what's going on.
-That was abooot the coolest thing I've ever seen.
-Nine hours.
-He knows what I want before I do.
-I wanted waffles.
-Yayyyyyyy.
-Do you have a problem? Then call the Problem Solvers.
-Taxes got you down? Wasps in your crawl space?
-Call the Problem Solvers.
-Because after all, what's a problem but an opportunity disguised as a stripper having a seizure on your boat?
-Mouse in your house?
-We are the Problem…Solvers.
-That was a good rehearsal, now let's record it. And we're rolling.

Episode 6
-It's take your black kid to work day.
-Every day. I thought having a family was going to be like the Cosby Show. 'Oh, no, Vanessa went to a concert. Oh, no, Rudy and I are making a sandwich for 25 minutes.' The Cosby Show was a lie. Having a family can be the worst. For example, I have a strip club story from this weekend I need to tell you, Jackie D. It is disgusting. But I can't because I got this little D-Bag here.
-And yet, you won't tell me.
-Woah, woah, woah, woah. I mean, that's a big decision. Having a family is also the best thing a man can…He's gone. So my story. So I'm in the strip club with Charles Barkley and one of the hobbits…Damn it, I can't live like this. I'm getting a vasectomy, too!
-The Cosby Show lied to me.
-Trying to get someone to move out? May I suggest what got my neighbors to move out? Black person moved in, scared them off.
-I gotta lot of good ideas. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take my son to my vasectomy because the Cosby Show lied to me and I cannot tell an amazing strip club story.
-Sure, I know how to do that. You lied to me, Bill Cosby, you lied to me. Uh, oh. Here comes my hallucination.
-Denise, Vanessa, Sandra the boring one? It's your father, I'm having a Cosby Show hallucination.
-Theo, what's going on here? Did Rudy make a mess with the juicer again? Vanessa was supposed to be watching her and not upstairs gossiping on the phone.
-Your adorable sister and your sister.
-That's why my life is not like the Cosby Show. I only have boys and boys are disgusting. I need a baby girl. Don't patronize me. Stop laughing, it's not funny. I need a baby girl. Don't snip my vas deferens.
-Wake up, Tracy. Wake up. I don’t want a vasectomy Dr. Spaceman. I need to go back in time. Why did I sell my Delorean to Mr. T?
-Jackie D, I need a baby girl!
-What made you change your mind?
-Well, I hope he makes me an across helmet so I don't get hurt playing across. Now, come on, that's pretty solid for a guy who just came out of a hallucination.
-Frank, I'm gonna have a daughter, and I would never tell that story. It's demeaning to women. Especially if they've had their boobies sneezed on by a tiger.

Episode 7
-Uh, Liz Lemon. I need to talk to you.
-Come over here and check out my corner. No trap.
-Come over here, I said, in my normal tone of voice.
-Liz Lemon, recently I realized that I have a hole in my heart and not the one I got from eating batteries. It's because I don't have a daughter.
-I want a baby girl, Liz Lemon. I mean having a daughter is like going to the NBA All Star weekend. It changes you. Makes you want to take your wife to the doctor.
-I'm glad you feel that way because Angie's on her way up and I want you to tell her for me.
-Oh, yes you are. Click.
-I said click to distract you from the sound of the hand cuffs.
-You did good.
-What are you implying? I'm a very attentive father.
-There was a better kid's birthday party up the street.
-Your hair did? You just got your hair did. You have to get your hair did again?
-Racist!
-You know what? Keep your hair appointment. I'll do the Christmas shopping to prove to you I can be reliable and that I can finish everything that I…
-I need a special gift for my wife. Something that says, "I'm responsible." Something simple. Classy.
-Yes, perfect. What's that? I want it. I forgot why I originally came in here.
-Sure, I know him from the secret black people meetings. Nah, I'm just kidding. He's not invited. But who's an EGOT?
-That's a good goal for a talented crazy person. Nah, that was earlier. I want this.
-Marco!
-Marco!
-No need, I got something better than presents for you and the kids. I got us all this EGOT necklace for me.
-It's not dumb, it's smart. This necklace is a life goal. I'm going to win me an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony.
-I am gonna EGOT. For us, for the family and especially for little Chewbaquina Jordan.
-Great. I'll be in touch. You still use your Hotmail account?
-I'd first like to thank my creative team for coming here on such short notice and I'm sorry I'm four hours late. Dotcom, research update.
-That's good raw data, now turn it over to Griz for analysis.
-Kenneth, synthesize Griz' analysis.
-And then a Broadway play based on that movie. This is how I'm gonna get my baby girl. All I have to do is create the most popular song of all time!
-I started already!
-People. Love song. About love and cars. I've started already. Stop, stop. It's all wrong. How could five of the most popular musical styles all played at once sound so bad?
-Oh, yeah, Ken? What do you know about the pressures of EGOTing? I need to speak to someone who's been there. A fellow EGOTer.
-Is it me or is Liz Lemon getting hotter?
-I gotta EGOT, Whoopi. See I made this deal with my wife. If I don't EGOT, then I can't have another kid.
-You created the super-majority?
-I don't get it. Why is it so hard? I paid all these people to create the most popular song in the world for me.
-Wait, is that a Day Time Emmy?
-That's good advice, Whoopi.
-Say, could I have a glass of water before I leave?
-Thank you.
-Baby girl, you're the missing piece. The perfect fit. Baby girl. You're the product of doing it.
-Uhhh, wait. If you really want a baby, I'll give you my gift, but I must warn you, I won't be around a lot. Cause I'm EGOTing.
-I know, we're lucky people laugh when I say stuff.

Episode 8
-What's with all the junk, Ken?
-OK.
-Dig.
-Gonna let that one slide.
-Verdukianism? That doesn't make sense. Jimmy is Catholic.
-So you guys are Verdukians?
-Mmmhmm. Then sing that Verdukian winter carol. The famous one.
-What the what? New dude is as good at signing as Tracy Jordan is at everything.
-What's up, special K, having a party?
-Your generosity is being taken advantage of.
-Verdukianism, it's fake. Those dudes made it up because they didn't want to do Secret Santa.
-That's what religion is, KFed. Just a bunch of made up rules to manipulate people. Why don't Catholics eat meat on Fridays? I tell you why. Because the Pope owns Long John Silver's.
-Oh, Ken. We may have fallen into the intellectual deep end here and if you try to grab on to me, we'll both drown.
-OK. Time to go.
-Something you want to say?

Episode 9
-Finally! Over the break I forgot which floor I worked on.
-Six! I knew it was a character from Blossom, but I couldn't find the Joey Russo button.
-I had a pretty amazing New Year's, too. My wife and I are trying for a daughter and on New Year's Eve I think I got Angie pregnant.
-OK, but I was gonna describe it real good.
-I did it. Angie just called, she's pregnant.
-Yes, and it gets better. I just had a burrito.
-I know it's a girl, Liz Lemon, because I yelled Susan B. Anthony at the moment of conception.
-We're gonna name her after the place that she was conceived. It was a pretty wild night, so we're either gonna name her, Virginia, NetJet, or Bathroom at Teeterboro Airport.
-Hey, baby. You knew here?
-Uh, huh. And before you worked here, where you an ass scientist? Because your ass blah, blah, blah, you get the point. So what's your name?
-Virginia? But that's gonna be my daughter's name. Are you also someone's daughter?
-Is every woman someone's daughter?
-Uh, oh!
-I blame you three for my unhealthy attitude towards women! You have created an atmosphere of hostility and intolerance that everyone talks about all the time. Griz. When was the last time you told your fiancé you loved her –Since the phone call I interrupted to make this announcement. Kenneth, your haircut is disrespectful to lesbians. Dotcom, do you EVER read books by women?
-Enough! I've made a decision and starting next week, I'm adding a woman to the entourage.

Episode 10
-Hey, Kenneth. Why aren't your teeth growing in the black light?
-Sue, you're probably wondering why we asked you to join the entourage. Well, over the years, I've had a complicated relationship with women. From my treatment of the dancers here to my remarks about Madeline Albright at the 1996 White House Correspondents' Dinner.
-What? It's true. She does look like one of those.
-That's why I'm adding a daughter to the entourage family. Now what's on the schedule for today?
-I think I'm going to go ahead and cancel that.
-A hang on. No! I don't think we should go to a strip club. It just doesn't feel right. I think we should let the new member choose an activity.
-I said we're not going to a strip club.
-Why don't you understand? I don't want to take you to a strip club.
-Hey hey, watch your mouth, she's only 34 years-old.
-K. What's wrong with me? First I don't want to go to strip clubs and then I get angry at the hilarious dude that says something awesome.
-But I'm not like that with my sons. When they were little, I threw them in the deep end of our pool. To help them get over their fear of sharks.
-Thank God, because the doctors keep telling me it's pretty clogged!
-Ah, where are you going? It's board game night.
-Out? With whom?
-Well, does Doug have a last name?
-You are part of this entourage.
-Look, I know you didn't mean that.
-There you are. You know Kenneth and I were worried sick about you?
-That's not important anymore. I want to talk to you about our fight the other night. Look. Having a girl in your life is different. You want to protect her. And the best that you can hope for is that some day a nice man will come and take her from you. That's it.
-Here he is now. I knew this day would come, I just didn't think it would be so soon. You take good care of her.
-I don't know if I can go through this with a real daughter.
-No, I wouldn't. Not for a billion doll hairs.
-Yeah. They're not worth nothing. You could probably sell them to a doll company and get maybe forty grand for them.

Subscribe by RSS, or on Twitter, or by email or on Facebook or on Tumblr

Episode 11
-Liz Lemon, I can't go to Boston.
-You don't understand. I get in trouble on the road.
-Thank you. Thank you. It's great to be here, Cleveland.
-I suck? The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame sucks.
-Hello!
-The road is a mine field, LL. All those angry drunks and new temptations.
-That stupid, Irish piece of… Oh, boy. Boston is not gonna go well.
-Now what am I supposed to do? I got free time in a strange city.
-Puuurrrrfect like a cat birthday. How could I possibly get in trouble on a walking tour.
-You lying white devil. The only people you set free were rich white dudes like yourself.
-We ain't… No! Most dudes that signed that Declaration of Independence owned slaves. What about you, John Hancock?
-For the dude that has the most hilarious last name I ever heard you blow. We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on Mars.
-Sure, find a scapegoat. Just like John Hancock did with the good King George.
-Boston was just the match that lit the powder keg, like the tragic events at Lexington and Concord.
-Sounds like one of King George's hated tax collectors.
-Don't listen to him. We fell for his lies 300 hundred years ago. Don't let this slave owning time traveler fool us again!
-Then patriots are overrated.
-I said they suck. Uh oh. Here come the punches. This was all Snitterman's fault.
-Uh, huh. And where did you two meet?
-Really? So five years AFTER Crispus Attucks was killed in the Boston Massacre?

Episode 12
-OK, push. Push, Liz Lemon!
-Congratulations, it's Meat Cat!
-I'm sorry. Would you like to stay at my guest house?
-Oh, I'm not offering, I'm just taking a survey to gauge general interest. But Liz here has a spare apartment. Ain't that right, Liz?
-Oh, woah, woah.
-You're sleepwalking, Liz. It's a little understood parasomnia disorder.
-OK, I don't mean to be the black guy at the movies, but, "You better move, girl!"
-This just got awesome.
-This is the worst thing I've ever seen.

Episode 13
-It's a real problem in the celebrity community, but if Beyonce simply answered one of my letters, I'd stop trying to break into her house.
-Can't do it, Lee Lem. On Valentine's Day, Angie and I rent a room with a heart shaped hot tub and cook chili in it. Then we take it to soup kitchen and that's when it starts to get sexy!
-I'm Tike Myson, baby boxer. I'm crazy like that. Googoo googoo.

Episode 14
-[Cough, cough, cough, cough], I think we got it.
-Excuse me, do you know who you're talking to? A future Tony nominated actor. That's right. It is Tony eligibility season. And I'm going for the T in my EGOT.
-I'm doing a one man show.
-Tonight!
-What am I? A nerd? I'm gonna keep it loose, Liz Lemon.
-I did it. I'm a Broadway star! Jenna, could you accept my Tony on my behalf? June is a tough month for me because I begin lifeguarding again,
-5 hours.
-I don't know, people seemed to like it.
-Wait, the same show?
-But I can't do that, I'm a spontaneous actor. I never do the same thing twice.
-Honey, I'm home. Pac Man, I'm Jewish. Jeffrey, we lost the tournament. I can't do 7 more performances.
-Do they give an award for tarantula misplacement?
-Got it, no farting.
-After me.
-No, Tracy.
-No, stop it-Uh, we gotta start over. I farted.
-To sit in darkness in a sharp sharp sharp. In darkness in sitting in the sharp. This is stupid.
-Well, maybe we're just gonna have to agree to disagree on the acting process.
-I don't know, when I'm acting, I just do me and people seem to love it.
-Your performance.
-Karsfeld, Ruben M. Klavec, Yuri. Klassen, Igor. Klesterin, Robert. Klasco, Harold. Kluber, Tatiana.
-Bordnay, Lorenzo. Chinlow, Martin. Broadman. Gil. Takakahamo, Jessica. Themopoulis, Dororthy. Lippowitz, Lauren.

Episode 15
-Yeah, I'm supposed to be drinking a soda right now.
-That's the craziest thing I ever heard, Episcopal.
-I wish. Our old nanny wrote a tell all book about me.
-It's bad. I just got the call from a friend at Little Brown.
-No! The premier talent agency for black dwarves.
-Everything. My addiction to prescription glasses. The fact that I suffer from attention deficit disor-Jack your shoes are shiny! And worse of all, she revealed the fact that I've never cheated on my wife.
-That's all for show. I love my wife and only her.
-My wild and sexually adventurous image is how I make my money, Liz Lemon. I start losing my endorsements, Angie's gonna be madder than a bat in a suitcase. Uh oh, which reminds me. Gordon? Gordon?
-But, Frank, I still party. I'm still terrible at my job.
-I did, J-Mo, I held a press conference this morning.
-I'm here to announce that I'm leaving show business to spend more time with my stripper.
-But it's like a black Barbie Doll in Arizona, nobody's buying it.
-But John Edwards and I were supposed to ride on their Cinco de Mayo float.
-It's gotten worse. Somebody leaked my voicemails.
-Hey, baby, it's your husband. So I'm at Bed Bath & Beyond and I can't remember, did you say to get metal or wood shower curtain rings? Oh, you're calling me on the other line. I can't wait to talk to you. I love you.
-She says I better have an affair and quick before it tears are family apart.
-That's the problem, who's desperate enough to have sex with me at this point?
-Hello, Elizabeth, may I offer you a succulent fruit?
-Let me do a dance for you, my lover. No, no this is wrong. I can't have sex with you, Liz Lemon. I love Angie too much.
-I'm sorry, LL. I know how much you wanted this to happen. I'm disappointed in me, too. If I can't have an affair, Tracy Jordan is finished.
-I am lucky. Thanks, Liz Lemon.
-And you know what? One day you will have what I have because you're an amazing, strong, and talented woman, like Hilary. From Fresh Prince of Belair.
-I'm sorry, I was still riding the vibe from earlier.

Episode 16
-Oh huh, good morning.
-Lemoroni, something horrible happened to me last night. I had a dream that Kenneth and I got intimate in a portable Jacuzzi. It was crazy, glistening black and white skin. It looked like a close up of a killer whale being born.
-Just like this amazing city that we live in.
-Nooooooooo!
-Nooooooooo!
-I had another freaky Kenmare.
-Nooooooooo! Oh Oh Oh.
-Me, too. But how do we know this isn't a dream? Wait a minute, all my teeth are loose, so we're good. It's true.
-What kind a sick mind dreams that?
-Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
-We have to Elm Street this. We have to go to sleep and kill Kenneth in our dreams.
-This is a dream. You're in control.
-It's working, we've joined forces in our dreamscape, now we fly.
-Controlling our dreams?
-It worked!
-And we are never, never taking you for granted again. In fact, we'd like to sing you a thank you song.

Episode 17
-Not now, Jackie D, I heard on the walkie talkies that there's a red headed milf walking around with some executive.
-It's an 18th Century word for dark-skinned Moor. I've learned the word 'black' in every language, just so I know when to be offended. Russian tcherny, Korean hooking, dolphin eeee eeee eee eeee.
-Nah uh, I'm telling you, Dotcom, old school racism is back.
-Barry Obams is the one who brought it back.
-Hey, something's going on. You know what I seen last night? A Sloven Shield commercial with a black burglar.
-Oh, yeah, it's back on. Get ready, son. All you've ever known is your affirmative action job and Queen Latifah Covergirl commercials.
-That is a 15th Century term for a black pirate. Racist!
-Oh, yeah, just ask the black guy because we all know each other. Pete, could you tell a bald eagle to stop scaring me at zoos?
-You know, I been wanting to say this for a few seconds now. This work place has become a hotbed of old school racism.
-Oh, yeah? Then how come I'm always forced to play redikorus characters that don nununciate well?
-Nah, you can play it off, but I know that you're all secretly mad that we finally have a black Disney princess.
-Of course not, the Aryan hates and fears the African man. As we so clearly saw in the Blade movies.
-Splcok, short for black Spock.

Subscribe by RSS, or on Twitter, or by email or on Facebook or on Tumblr

Episode 18
-Yeah, Thursday Night Thunder. That's been going on for years.
-Well, I yelled Baba Booey at Walter Cronkite's funeral, so I actually have no idea of what's rude or not.
-But I couldn't Thunder last night because I had to take Angie to the ER. She had some complications with her pregnancy, so that kind of trumps your little problem?
-Well, she's fine and the baby's fine, but they put her on bed rest until her blood pressure goes down.
-There is one thing. Could you take care of Angie like a husband until this whole ass ache blows over?
-What about you, K?
-This better be important, I'm in a meeting.
-Great update, Ken. Thanks for checking in. Talk to you later.
-What, but why? You're much better at that serving stuff than I am.
-To be honest, I couldn't really understand anything Rick James was saying.
-Fine, I'll be there soon. And if you get hungry, you can help yourself to anything in the fridge and once I'm there I'll figure determine how much to charge you.
-Hey, Ken. Isn't that a fun place to stand? Oh, I forgot to warn you about my dog, Tracy, Sr. I trained him to hate white people because, not to profile, but most ghosts are white. This is my boy here. And look what Angie did to him. She set up an invisible fence. He gets shocked if he tries to leave the property. Just because he'd run away and cause car accidents and impregnate neighbors horses, he's trapped here just like me.
-I'm trying, Ken, and I want to be responsible, but I been me for a long time.
-No, we're not supposed to do any sex stuff while she's on bed rest.
-Oh, like a real one! I'm on it.
-Maybe this will get Angie to stop calling me irresponsible. Just stay focused and take this sandwich to my wife.
-Nope. I'm in a strip club, my bad!
-Ken, why did you let me go to a strip club?
-This is bad because I can't change. I'm like a chameleon, always a lizard.
-This better be a meeting, cause I'm important!
-I can't, LL. First of all the Secret Service never gave me back my T Shirt canon. And second of all, I gotta stay home and take care of Angie.
-People don't say that anymore. They say Surf Party USA.
-Look, Liz Lemon, I know your feelings are hurt, but parties are like Frisbees. If you throw them the wrong way, they'll veer off in a bad direction and then your kid will fall into a quarry.
-Don't throw a party for vengeance. It will turn on you. Like your wife, after your kid has fallen into a quarry.
-I don't know what to do. A party's in trouble and I'm the only one that can save it.
-I'm torn, K-Pax. I know I should be here, but my body's going to take me to Liz Lemon's. What do I do?
-Put the electric dog collar on me.
-Man, Tracy, Sr took of fast. He did not want to live here.
-You're gonna pour glue in the lock. That's how my kids keep me out of the liquor cabinet.
-No, Ken, there's something else you have to do, for all of us. Unfortunately, there's only one Tracy Jordan, but sometimes he's needed in two places. You're Tracy Jordan now. Go. Go save that party.
-Wait, I don't walk that well.
-This better be Meat Men, I'm importing.
-Hey, Ken.
-Oh my God.
-Oh my God, I just didn't want to go outside, it's chilly.
-No, this is something I have to do myself.
-Yes, he probably picked up your scent and he's hunting you. I suggest you cut off a finger and throw it in the river.
-Huh, maybe this doesn't work on people. Ahhhh. Ahhhh. Ahhhh. My neck. My swan like neck. Ahhh. Must fight through it. Also, must weed lawn.
-I made it. I'm on the other side. I'm free. I can go anywhere I want. Like Liz's party. Or one of those place where you sky dive over a huge fan.
-Hmm. Maybe it doesn't work on people anymore. Ahhhh. It still does. Ahhhh.
-Oh, God. If you deliver me from this, I promise every Sunday, I'll go to, huh? I'm through it. Pizza Hut. I'll go to Pizza Hut. Ha!

Episode 19
-Before we rehearse, I have an announcement to make. Our boy Griz is getting married on May 22.
-So I thought Griz would like to take this time to announce who's going to be his best man.
-Um, I haven't decided yet. You sound like my mother talking to the Planned Parenthood lady. Seriously, which one of your rich and famous friends with hepatitis B are you going to pick?
-Let's not do this in front of everybody, you sound like my mother being booed onstage at a 2 Live Crew concert.
-Damn, my mother had problems.
-Of course, you guys are very close. Continue.
-Really? I'd be awesome at that.
-But who's gonna tell U2?
-No, you two idiots. I see what you're trying to do. You're trying to manipulate me into not being the best man. And, damn it, Griz, I've known you since you were 6 feet tall. I'm gonna be your best man. I am the leader of this entourage and because of you, I'm having a tantrum. Now pick up that table and smash it for me.
-That's fair. I know that!
-Woah, you watch your mouth before I show you the back of my hand.
-Liz Lemon, I don't even want to be best man. Why would I? Show up on time? Not lose a ring? Keep my shirt on though a dinner?
-Because I'm trying to protect Dotcom, dummy. He's in love with Griz' fiancé, Fyonce.
-No, Griz' fiancé is name Fyonce, like Beyonce with an F.
-Listen, we cannot make Dotcom get up there and give a speech at that wedding. It'd kill him.
-You think that's impressive. Watch me stand on one foot. Hold on, I did it earlier.
-No, you do.
-Bored.
-So you're?

Episode 20
-I gave Kenneth her information.
-OK, but whoever she is needs to be someone as amazing as I am. I want to see a list of names. Like when they was looking for John McCain's running mate. Hahaha. I'm kidding, this needs to be taken seriously.
-Novella Nelson. Oh, wait, is she Aquaman's girlfriend?
-That could be anyone. We all look the same to me. Is she famous?
-What about the list I gave you? Phylicia Rashard? Serena Williams?
-Who cares, she's awesome and so am I. I want Serena Williams to be my mother.
-Like anyone would recognize you anyway.
-You are way beneath me, Novella. I am a movie star, a television actor, and the Guinness Book of World Records holder for most car accidents in a single year.
-Fine. I'd rather be up on that stage all alone than be up there with someone whose resume has black judge on it 9 times.
-I saved a lot of kids from lame sex.
-I hear you. Because you're talking in the ear that I didn't lose a button in.
-Boy, I though I had it bad with my fake mom.
-Yeah, it's true and she is a good actress. I bought those Pajammaralls.
-No, Jenna. No one gets to choose their mom. Even when they're fake. For good or bad, we're stuck with them. And you know, they don't get to choose who we are either. And God knows we're not perfect.
-You look beautiful, mom.
-I think I'm ready for the sex talk.
-That's our show. Thanks for watching.
-Goodnight, stay tuned for a special Mother's Day edition of Bitch Hunter.

Episode 21
-Entourage meeting. I know which movie I'm doing this summer.
-It's a pun, because cats paws have grooves.
-It's perfect. I'm playing Garfield. My whole part is being shot on green screen in 3 days and they're paying me exactly 1 million teacher salaries.
-What's this?
-Interesting. And I've gotta win an Oscar somehow. It's either this or I submit that animated film I drew about the Holocaust.
-I read the script.
-I hated it. I couldn't relate.
-I don't remember that kind of stuff. I mean, I remember being born, of course. I remember learning how to ride a bike, but that was last year. From '75 to '82 is just a blur.
-No, I don't. I was on a yacht with the Roots last week, dude.
-What are we doing here? You told me we were going someplace boring. This is an awesome copy shop!
-That's where I grew up.
-My God, nothing's changed at all.
-Why do I recognize that stairwell?
-It's all coming back to, oh my God. I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs! I watched a prostitute stab a clown! Our basketball hoop was a ribcage! A ribcage.
-Why did you bring me here? I blocked all this stuff out for a reason. Oh, Lord. Some guy with dreads electrocuted my fish!
-I hate pain! I'm doing Garfield 3, and as soon as I make some copies of my passport, I'm never coming back here. Move.
-Nermal. I hate you, Nermal. Almost as much as I hate Mondays. This is my lasagna. You hear me Nermal? My lasagna.
-Well I'm sorry Sean, and child actor whose name I can't remember. You haven't walked in my shoes! All my life I've tried to forget the things I've seen. a crackhead breast-feeding a rat A homeless man cooking a Hot Pocket on a third rail of the G train! The G train, Nermal! There's something inside of me that needs to come out. And if Garfield 3: Feline Groovy can't tell my story. Then I'll win my Oscar elsewhere or I'll die trying.
-I've seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom! I once bit into a burrito and there was a child's shoe in it! I've seen a hooker eat a tire! A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy's! The sewer people stole my skateboard! The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time! I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo! They were very drunk!

Episode 22
-California, no way, Ken. You gotta tank this promotion. Do a sloppy job and they'll leave you alone. That's how I got out of doing foreplay with Angie. And my taxes.
-If you've learned anything from me, it's how to do a bad job. Go, honor me, save yourself. But first get me a sandwich.
-That's my boy.
-On behalf of Griz and Fyonce, I like to thank Jack Donaghy for letting us have this reception here after the other location couldn't support the weight of Griz' extended family.
-Now, hit it!
-Hey, this ain't the place for-.

Subscribe by RSS, or on Twitter, or by email or on Facebook or on Tumblr

Somewhat related:
Everything Hurley Said
Everything Sawyer Said
Everything Locke Said
Everything Don Draper Said
Everything Tracy Jordan Said

###

Possibly related posts:

Alec Baldwin Profile

aaron cohen — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:25:47 +0000

James Wolcott profiles Alec Baldwin. It's a good read, but nothing new, though I'm interested because Baldwin's career is so interesting. He's absolutely killing TV right now on 30 Rock, after killing Saturday Night Live all those years. He's been great in a couple good movies (as Wolcott notes), but doesn't have a big role in an important movie. How will we think about him in 20 years?

Oh, by the way, he's talking about retiring after 30 Rock...

So perhaps the smoke signals he’s sending up about retiring aren’t a bluff. But I can’t help but think that if he gets the chance to work with Meryl Streep again he won’t say no. That would be like turning down dessert, and he’s a cat who can’t resist cream.

###

Possibly related posts:

24 Season 8 Episode 7 10 PM – 11 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 02:02:15 +0000

Subscribe by RSS, or follow on Twitter, or subscribe by email or on Facebook

I've been ambivalent about a TV show before, so I know how ambivalence feels. This is not ambivalence. This is disdain. I'm probably going to miss the show next week and I don't care. I may or may not watch it later in the week. Who knows? I hope 24 is better tonight, but I bet it won't be.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

10:00 PM
-Why would the adviser come up to the President and say congratulations on the unanimous support, and then say "well, almost unanimous."
-"There are unsecured nuclear materials in play." That's how a President speaks?
-Jack Bauer's disguise glasses are ridiculous.
-No cell phones in CTU.
-The show was like, "OK, this year we're going to make Renee look more like Lindsay Lohan." I've been making that joke every year, but... Well, does she have so many freckles?
10:08 PM
-I'm really hoping Starbuck gets busted and CTU makes a no cellphones rule for next year.
-Maybe it's a trap, though I can think of several million ways she could have gotten him busted without going through all this trouble.
10:12 PM
10:16 PM
10:18 PM
-"Where I end up, I don't care, but this boy is with the angels."
10:29 PM
-Why does President Hasan have ridiculous glasses as well?
-Here is 24's annual depiction of torture as bad and evil. To what end does this serve the purpose of the writer's of 24.
-Now the cousin will get arrested. Watch.
-They leave guns loaded in the evidence room, loaded with water that is!
-Did we figure out what Starbuck would have access to this stuff? All the schematics for the evidence warehouse?
10:36 PM
Oh, it's a Toyota 'we're sorry' commercial...
10:40 PM
-Well now, this whole scenario was unexpected...
-AHAHAHAHAAAA
-Just to go over that again. Renee got slapped, then full on punched. Then she grabbed the sausage knife and stabbed Vladimir in the eye, then Jack Bauer came in and she stabbed him in the gut and he looked like he was down and out before the Red headed Russian came in and Jack Bauer threw the sausage knife perfectly into his throat. Then Jack Bauer shot through the wall to kill the other Russian. That's 2 JBKCs giving Jack Bauer 7 for the season. In reality, the sausage knife would have bounced off the wall 2 feet from the Russian. Just saying.
10:46 PM
10:50 PM
-I like how Hastings is like "HE WAS OUR ONLY LEAD." Basically because he was Russian and there was another Russian... It wasn't a very solid lead to begin with.
10:54 PM
-Jack Bauer couldn't have thought of anything else like both of them hiding? Or going out the back? Or anything? This was the best plan? "Have them start tracking me from the air."
-"The Russians took him, the ones with the nuclear materials." That was obvious?
-You knew when Jack Bauer specifically mentioned they could track him from the air that that was going to be a problem, right?
10:59 PM

For you a completely shocking 15 seconds of violence might make up for a terrible season, not me though. Maybe this day will only be 12 hours long instead. I can dream anyway, right?

Subscribe by RSS, or follow on Twitter, or subscribe by email or on Facebook

###

Possibly related posts:

Watch That First Step, It’s A Doozy!

aaron cohen — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 15:28:29 +0000

I spent 15 minutes looking for this scene from 'Groundhog Day' so that we could all enjoy Ned Ryerson together! Now I'm gonna have to go watch it again. "Don't drive angry" is another classic scene, amirite?

###

Possibly related posts:

24 Season 8 Episode 6 9 PM – 10 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 00:49:08 +0000

Subscribe by RSS, or follow on Twitter, or subscribe by email or on Facebook

Last week was a snoozer, hopefully we'll get something better tonight. Actually, I have little faith I'll be at all interested this season. The story arc is set (4 more hours until a showdown at the pier, where disaster will be narrowly averted, at which point a bigger threat will be identified). Remember a couple seasons ago when they set off the nuke in California? That's the last time 24 surprised me, though I suppose the attack on the White House was unexpected. But only because it was so far out of the realm of possibility as to be absurd.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

9:00 PM
-What do you get for the former 24 live blogger who just doesn't care about 24 anymore?
-You see? You see what's happening with Starbuck. This is one of the reasons anti-terrorism employees aren't allowed to use cell phones at work.
9:05
-Yaaaawwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
-You know, Jono and I keep talking about how this season is just like all of the other seasons. It's not, though, it's so MUCH more boring. I thought we were going to have something when they blew up a helicopter in NYC on the first night.
9:11
9:15
-This Russian family has 3 different types of accent. Father has thick accent, one son no accent, 2nd son some type of accent...
-I can't threaten to quit, you won't believe me, but this season of 24 sucks.
9:23 PM
9:27 PM
-Oh no, we're going to back to the President Taylor storyline. Where she is mad at a president who is cracking down on traitors!
-None of this makes any sense. None of it.
9:29 PM
-Oh, now President Hasan is acting loopy.
-Why does Starbuck keep taking out her Bluetooth when she needs to talk on her cell phone? DOES SHE NOT HAVE ANOTHER EAR?
9:31 PM
-I hate Chloe.
-They're DOING THIS RIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT. AND THERE'S ONLY 3 CARS THERE!!!?!?!?! THIS SHOW IS MAKING ME CRAZY.
-Yeah, see, right there, you see that? Arlo looking at Starbuck breaking tons of laws? That's why none of this makes any sense...
-Er... Did she need to wash the bug down the drain? Why? I don't understand.
-I really don't understand anything that's happening this year.
9:37 PM
9:41 PM
9:42 PM
-So when the President's top security guy has a problem... He needs to call the President's daughter...
-This is something of a surprise. In fact I'm more shocked that I'm shocked.
-The Russian's dad is cold-blooded. And the Russian mobsters are pretty good if they can just find dudes at any health clinic in the NY metro area...
9:46 PM
-Interestingly, they're both speaking German with an American accent. But, good on Keifer speaking Deutsch for so long...
9:48 PM
9:53 PM
-The thing is... Renee is sort of making sense. Don't kill the buyer so that we can make bigger deals. But she never said, 'don't kill the buyer so that we can make bigger deals.' This show is awful.
-Jack Bauer gets a JBKC for knocking that dude down. I think that's #5, right?
-The father shooting the brother just to prove a point is... well, that's what happens on 24, huh?
9:59 PM
10:00 PM

Looks like Jack Bauer shoots some people next week, or at least shoots at some people... I really don't remember the season being this bad at this point last year. What is wrong with me? Why am I watching this? Oh yeah, I'm watching it so you don't have to.

Subscribe by RSS, or follow on Twitter, or subscribe by email or on Facebook

###

Possibly related posts:

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 6

aaron cohen — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 22:40:43 +0000

I watched this entire season hours after having all 4 of my impacted wisdom teeth removed. I remember enjoying it, but can't remember any plot specifics at all. So much so, that when I watched the premier of season 7, I went back to see if I had actually watched season 5 instead of 6.

###

Possibly related posts:

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 6

aaron cohen — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 22:40:43 +0000

###

Possibly related posts:

24 Season 8 Episode 3 6 PM – 7 PM and Episode 4 7 PM – 8 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 00:32:11 +0000

Let's give this another shot, shall we? I wasn't wowed by 24 last night, and the 24 Live Blog ran into some technical difficulties and was largely unavailable during the first hour. Hopefully we can avoid that tonight and just have some fun. Ugh. As if watching 24 is fun.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords. I count the number of people Jack Bauer knocks down (JBKCs), and this year, I'll also be counting the number of times someone says, damn it. (If I remember.) As always, let me know what you think in the comments!

Subscribe by RSS, or follow us on Twitter, or subscribe by email

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

6:00 PM
-While watching the scenes from yesterday, I'm thinking that Hastings could be trouble. If he plays so fast and loose with the rules, and Jack Bauer can so easily convince him to let him follow up on Mike/Davros, wouldn't it be easy to corrupt him in other ways?
-Also, Freddie Prinz, Jr FTW!
-Jack Bauer doesn't have a lot of experience playing basketball. That much is clear.
-Jack Bauer is constantly getting himself into situations where people think he did something he didn't do.
-TASER!!!!!!
6:11 PM
6:17 PM
6:18 PM
-Totally shocked that there weren't any Brown or Coakley ads during that last commercial break.
-Ask me how much I care about Starbuck's storyline? Go ahead, ask me.
-"If you're gonna beg, I wanna here you say my name, like you used to." That's a little naughty for 8PM, isn't it?
-Jono says, "Anyone can just park on top of CTU." Apparently it's easy to find as well, and it's employees are very easy to find out about as well. Also, they're able to use their cell phones at work.
6:24 PM
-Haha. Jack Bauer is going to get tortured in the basement by an angry cop. Who is going to see this and think it's a good idea?
-Also, how hard would it be for the cops to call CTU before they started beating the crap out of him?
6:26 PM
-Davros is shorter than ALL the other cops.
6:27 PM
6:31 PM
-Hasan does the right thing. Against the contrast of President Taylor doing the wrong thing.
-That was the first time I've been surprised by something on 24 in 7 years!
6:36 PM
-You know Mike/Davros is Horace Goodspeed from Lost, right?
6:36 PM
-Jack Bauer breaking the chair against the wall was pretty awesome.
6:44 PM
-So, the fact that they've just decrypted the file and found what they think is a bomb in the United Nations is the exact reason that they would have evacuated the president as soon as a threat to anyone was identified.
-Hasan's short Jason Schwartzman brother is so ridiculous. His hair just makes the whole thing unbelievable.
6:47 PM
-I don't want to keep harping on this, but in 24 world, the president was attacked at some point in the recent past. The security around her would be amazingly tight.
6:52 PM
-Wait, Freddy P is going to drive himself? Er...
6:54 PM
-Doesn't Freddy P have a radio to say, "Stop the motorcade now?"
7:00 PM
-Good.
-Has Jack Bauer not had a chance to pass the word about Mike Farmer?
-Apparently not.
-Freddy P, you gotta take back up!
-Should Jason Schwartzman really be calling the assassin now?
-I can think of over a million different ways Jason Schwartzman could have escaped besides sticking a pen into his bodyguard's neck.
-By the way, I forgot to give Jack Bauer a JBKC for knocking that cop down. That's number 3.
-And that's JBKC #4 for Jack Bauer.
7:11 PM
-Wait Hastings just called it the Islamic Republic. It is Kamistan or the Islamic Republic.
7:13 PM
7:17 PM
-Knowing the freakout over the Underwear Bomber, can you imagine if this happened in real life?
-Didn't Jack Bauer just get the hell beaten out of him 40 minutes ago?
7:21 PM
-It would have been awesome if Davros was a bomb.
7:22 PM
7:27 PM
-Renee is all Lindsay Lohaned out. Interesting.
7:28 PM
-President's Hasan's hair is gigantic. I'm just noticing that now.
-These Kamistani men have crazy, crazy hair.
7:32 PM
-I am pretty curious to see how exactly Renee was undercover with the Russians and how she get out from cover while keeping it intact.
7:35 PM
7:40 PM
-Zing! Take that Hastings. Meredith Reed gives as good as she gets.
-Meredith Reed could be the scorned women of all scorned women, but she's handling it like a big girl. Go you!
7:42 PM
-"Not with nuclear weapons on the line!"
-Wow, the Russian mobster is cold blooded. Using his son as evidence.
7:47 PM
7:52 PM
-They're still using PDAs? Really? At least they're not saying smart phone this year.
-Renee is such a downer!
-Dana Walsh's stalker boyfriend is the reason CTU employees shouldn't be allowed to use cell phones while they're working.
7:56 PM
-Renee is such a flirt!
-I totally lost track of whether Jack Bauer said 'Damn it' tonight.
-Renee cutting a chunk out of that dude's arm was unexpected...
7:59 PM

One more JBKC for Jack Bauer tonight moving him up to 3. It's awesome how they can keep reusing the same scripts every year. One terrorist does something bad in the first 4 hours leading to a plot that is solved in the first 6-12 hours, which uncovers an even more sinister plot, which is then solved in the 23 hour. See if that doesn't play out this year.

###

Possibly related posts:

24 Season 8 Episode 1 4 PM – 5 PM and Episode 2 5 PM – 6 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 01:03:54 +0000

It's time again for the 24 Live Blog. I've been pretty ambivalent about whether or not to do it again this year as the quality of the show keeps deteriorating. And yet, there's something that won't let me quit. I'm going to give it a go tonight and tomorrow to see if I've still got it, and we'll see.

In case you're new, this 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords. I count the number of people Jack Bauer knocks down (JBKCs), and this year, I'll also be counting the number of times someone says, damn it. (If I remember.) As always, let me know what you think in the comments!

Subscribe by RSS, or follow us on Twitter, or subscribe by email

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

4:00 PM
-Here go. Drugs, huh?
-Those assassins are inept. Peeps need to hire better employees.
-Jack the Grandpa... Can he save the world from granddaughters?
-Fox News, really?
-Kim looks a little doughy.
-"My father is not the type of person you ask twice." That's foreshadowing.
-I can't remember how exactly things ended with Ethan last year, but it's an understatement to say I'm surprised he's still around.
4:11 PM
-Massive technical failure preventing any live blogging. Apparently, the Jersey Shore Nickname Generator takes up too much resources for DreamHost to handle… Ugh
4:17 PM
-The foreign president Hasan is a Casanova! That's an unprofessional relationship with the press.
-Well, Jack is yelling, 21 minutes in. Not a bad ratio.
4:23 PM
-Cole Ortiz. What a terrible name.
-Oh, hey, it's Starbuck! Why is she dressed ready to go out? That's, uh, terribly unprofessional.
-Chloe! Yay!
-They use drones in New York City in 24? That doesn't seem like a good idea.
-I've just realized I have absolutely no idea how last season ended, except that there was an attack on the White House and Jack Bauer won. Do we know how many years removed we're from last season?
4:30 PM
4:36 PM
-I wonder if Jack Bauer still has President Taylor's telephone number.
-Did they just say the name of the country was "The Islamic Republic?"
-"Sent our daughter to prison…", divorce. That is a lot of turmoil for a sitting president.
-Err, if they're deciding whether to tell Hasan before the press conference or after, why don’t they just do everything quietly, sign the papers, and then not do the press conference?
4:39 PM
-What are the chances that this helipad pick up goes without a hitch? There's no chance it does. 0 chance.
-Jack Bauer has his man purse, but no surgery kit, apparently. That's unfortunate.
(And then I lost track of time…)
-The obvious point is that marriages that are just a façade are not unique to the US.
4:52 PM
-President Taylor, still making terrible strategic decisions in season 8.

-Well, that's 'Damn It' #1 from Jack Bauer…
-"We're under attack!"
-Did Starbuck use a Sidekick to manage that screen just now?
4:56 PM
-WOAH! First Jack Bauer Knockdown of the season and it's a doozy. 2 for 1. JBKC 1 and 2.
-Yeah, see, that's exactly what I was expecting. Someone firing a surface to surface shoulder fired rocket from another building. That happens in downtown NYC all the time.
-Jack Bauer has so little faith in CPR it's astonishing…
-Oh! The country is Kamistan, not the Islamic Republic.
5:00 PM
-Wait, I just thought about this… They heard the hit is going to happen during the press conference. Wouldn't that be a threat to President Taylor, too?
-So CTU Dude Hastings is the Don Rumsfield of CTU Dudes?
-You might recognize Hastings as Don King from 'Ali'.
-The Secret Service must have some protocols we don't know about. Just because the threat is to a different president, shouldn't they get the US president out of there?
5:09 PM
-Just wanted to point out it's awesome they got Jason Schwartzman to play the president's brother/adviser.
5:14 PM
-Chloe is having issues in the new and fast CTU.
5:16 PM
-The CTU NYC office reminds me of the headquarters from Alias.
-Not much of a secret headquarters if Kim knows where it is...
5:21 PM
- I can't take Hasan's brother seriously with that hair.
-I've got a way for Hasan to get assassinated. The traitorous brother can just do it himself instead of initiating a conspiracy. More risk, but way more certainty. The show could be done in an hour.
5:24 PM
-I can't take Starbuck seriously when she's dressed in a party dress... And, apparently Arlo can't take her seriously either...
5:34 PM
-Chloe has NEVER asked for help ever. Also, funny that Morris got laid off.
-Kim knows that if you love someone, you have to let go (them fight terrorists).
5:37 PM
5:42 PM
5:44 PM
-"CTU has drones all over the city." What the!?
-Kim knows that there's no reason to worry about letting Jack come to LA after his work is done... All of his big projects the last several years have been done in under 24 hours.
-Wait, they're trying to figure out where that Russian dude went? Wasn't it clear from the surveillance photo that he was getting into a cab?
5:46 PM
-Someone works at CTU with a fake identity? Err... Why do I watch this show!?
5:52 PM
5:53 PM
-Fake regular accent from the assassin!
5:54 PM
-CTU NYC is so high tech these days.
-If Jack Bauer went into the armory to oget a gun, why didn't he just get a holster also?
-Jack Bauer has gotten into it with so many different directors of CTU it's absurd. At some point he's going to need his own team.
-I don't know why I'm watching this show.

Very convenient that the assassin is going to be on the UN security detail. It's weird that he dropped the accent after pulling the gun on his friend. This premier wasn't as good as the premiers from the last couple years. Not sure what it was. I might not have it this year. Tomorrow better be good...

###

Possibly related posts:

Best Books of the Year?

aaron cohen — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 14:28:48 +0000

The Omnivoracious blog on Amazon compared their year end top 100 books list, with the New York Times 100 Notable Books and Publishers Weekly's Best Books of 2009 to get a composite of the best books of 2009. There were 11 books that were on all 3 lists this year, plus 2 that were not on the Notable 100, but were on other NY Times lists. For what it's worth, there were 13 last year and 11 in 2007. No women authors made the cut, only 2 novels, and 2 graphic novels.

Asterios Polyp by David Mazzucchelli
Await Your Reply by Dan Chaon
Sag Harbor by Colson Whitehead
The Age of Wonder by Richard Holmes
Born Round by Frank Bruni
Cheever by Blake Bailey
Columbine by Dave Cullen
Fordlandia by Greg Grandin
The Good Soldiers by David Finkel
The Lost City of Z by David Grann
Shop Class as Soulcraft by Matthew Crawford
Momofuku by David Chang and Peter Meehan (not in NYT's 100 Notable, but in their best cookbooks list)
The Jazz Loft Project by Sam Stephenson (not in NYT's 100 Notable, but in their Gift Books list)

###

Possibly related posts:

‘The Office’ Documentary

aaron cohen — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 18:30:38 +0000

The Onion says the 'The Office' Ends As Documentary Crew Gets All The Footage It Needs and a day later, Fimoculous had the following idea:

It's a good idea, I'd watch that movie.

(Onion article via Title Case)

###

Possibly related posts:

Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story by Chuck Klosterman

aaron cohen — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 22:00:20 +0000

Hearing how Chuck Klosterman's voice sounds on Bill Simmons' podcasts makes it a little more awesome to read this book. I thought the premise tying this book together was unnecessary, as Spin could have just sent Klosterman on a road trip. It's worth reading even if I don't know whether to pronounce Klosterman as Close-terman or Claws-terman.

###

Possibly related posts:

Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story by Chuck Klosterman

aaron cohen — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 22:00:20 +0000

###

Possibly related posts:

Everything Don Draper Said Season 3

aaron cohen — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 06:32:59 +0000

Here's Season 3 of Everything Don Draper Said (and Season 1 and Season 2 (PLUS Everything Tracy Jordan Said Seasons 1, 2, and 3)). There were a few episodes this season where Don's story wasn't necessarily the focal point, or he didn't have too many knockout scenes, and yet, as you scroll through, you'll still find some magic. He had about 500 more words than last season, but much less than the 10K words in Season 1. As always, what follows is a transcription of everything Don Draper said this season on Mad Men. There's no context, but if you're a fan of the show, you'll lose your morning looking at this. Enjoy!

Episode 1
"Come on, drink this."
"You're so sure it's a girl?"
"I could have done that."
"At least you don't look tired."
"Close your eyes."
"You're on a warm sandy beach."
"You're on a warm sandy beach. You can smell the faint scent of coconut oil. And as you slide your hands though that cold patch of sand underneath the shadow of your deck chair."
"Bert's on it's way. Where's Roger?"
"Well, it's a sales call, isn't there more I can do here?"
"Really? I have one."
"Come on in, Bert."
"This isn't easy."
"Is that the last of it? Because I don't like how much I'm getting used to these."
"Can you believe this? What is the world coming to?"
"That's not a bottle, it's his date."
"'I'm sorry honey, but I'm taken. I just pawned my typewriter so we can be together all weekend.'"
"Excuse me?"
"Uh, Bill. Call me Bill. And, uh, this is my associate, Mr. Fleischman."
"Well, we have to check in and we have an early meeting."
"The Belvedere."
"Hoffstadt. My brother in law. He borrowed a suitcase to go to Puerto Rico, but he never tires of putting his name on other people's things."
"Really?"
"Uh, no, it's OK. I don't usually tell people I'm an accountant."
"Of course you do know there are other kinds of accountants."
"Tell them what we do."
"Well, I'll have to swear you all to secrecy."
"You're right."
"You ever heard of James Hoffa."
"There is a lot of money missing."
"No, we're accountants."
"I don't know, I keep going to a lot of places and keep ending up somewhere I've already been."
"Sam."
"Well, this is me."
"I don't know."
"I've been married a long time. You get plenty of chances. It's my birthday."
"It really is."
"That's not gonna help."
"Stand up."
"Go on."
"Not yet."
"Come on, let's go. Come on, forget your shoes. Let's go. Come on!"
"Come on."
"I'm just here to show you the continuity of our service. With our without Bert Peterson, you are on our mind."
"Morris, you remember Salvatore Romano."
"Sal, this is Howard."
"Well, is it about our work? I mean, we don't want to take credit for everything, but 2 of every 3 raincoats sold last year had London Fog stitched on the inside pocket."
"London Fog is a 40 year old brand that sounds like it's existed forever. You've established with our help that it means one thing. Rain coats. New products aside, there will be fat years and there will be lean years, but it is going to rain."
"What time is it?"
"We should be back in the office by 3."
"I'm gonna ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me. London Fog. It's a subway car, and there's a commuter looking up. There's a girl with her back to us. She's wearing one of those short tan ones, but it's open. Her legs are bare. We know what he's seeing. Limit your exposure."
"Good."
"Help yourself. So, Cosgrove vs Campbell. Is Cooper playing God or Darwin?"
"Lane read about it in some management book?"
"Come in."
"What?"
"Our stories are straight."
"Find how much it is to repair and it will come out of your allowance."
"Then don't break things."
"Come here."
"I will always come home. You'll always be my girl."
"I don't sleep well when I'm not here."
"Yes."
"Well, it was the middle of the night and it was raining very hard and I had just come home from work."

(You should Subscribe to our RSS, or follow us on Twitter)

Episode 2
"Jesus, Bets, have some oatmeal, that baby's gonna weigh a pound."
"You gonna collect the whole set?
"You didn't need a decorator last time. I'd like to feel like I'm paying for something. These are $3 a piece you know?"
"I'm late."
"We are going to Tarrytown. And you're going to stare at some antique chair for so long the buttons will seem interesting. And then we'll go to Carvel. See you tonight."
"I don't usually set meetings, I attend them."
"Shall we?"
"10 years."
"I don't know if the ladies want to talk about that."
"Look, I didn't want to be there anymore than you did."
"What?"
"Tell me know and not 3 seconds after I've dozed off."
"Another stroke?"
"Can you blame her?"
"Maybe she realized he's a son of a bitch."
"Great. More antiques."
"Those girls are a nightmare."
"Why did you even bother asking me?"
"Send him in."
"Glad to hear it. They really hit it off."
"I told you before, Roger's the lion tamer."
"It will help if you tell me who these people are."
"What does he want?"
"Today?"
"Have Campbell send over the folder."
"What else did you have to do today? What else do you have to do all week?"
"Sorry to hear that."
"Your words not mine."
"Edgar."
"In the interest of time, you want to demolish Penn Station and New York hates it."
"Can they stop it?"
"But they can't stop it, can they?"
"Your concern over public opinion shows a guilty conscience. Now what good is that serving you if what is to be done is already under way?"
"Good. Then let's also say that change is neither good nor bad, it simply is. It can be greeted with terror or joy. A tantrum that says, 'I want it the way it was'. Or a dance that says, 'Look, something new'."
"I'm not drawing a line at all. PR people understand this, but they can never execute it. If you don't like what's being said, change the conversation."
"I was in California. Everything is new, and it's clean. The people are filled with hope. New York City is in decay. But Madison Square Garden, it's the beginning of a new city on a hill."
"I will handle it personally."
"Gene."
"You're an Army man, Gene. Drop your socks and…grab something."
"Lights out at 8:15. I'm impressed."
"How bad is he?"
"What now?"
"I understand it's not ideal, but it's the next logical step."
"Cut it out!"
"What do you wanna do?"
"You want anything?"
"Did he talk about television?"
"You're gonna have to keep a low profile on this, but it doesn't mean you're not working."
"Can I get you anything?"
"Did their check bounce already?"
"Did you tell them it's a stadium in the middle of New York City? It's one of a kind."
"I'm confused."
"That's for right now."
"Madison Square Garden is our way into the World's Fair. The largest trade show in history. Plus there's the Garden itself. Hotels, concerts, sports. This could mean 30 years of business."
"You told me to go out and get this account. I did. I did my job and now you're telling me it's all for nothing because you forgot to check with your boss first? Who's running this place?"
"Why the hell did you buy us in the first place?"
"Tell Mr. Campbell, 'Madison Square Garden is dead'."
"Can it wait?"
"What is this?"
"Yes, everyone wants a drink that sounds like a floor. This is Chinese."
"I haven't seen it."
"Fine."
"I'm sure."
"She's throwing herself at the camera. It's pure. It makes your heart hurt."
"What did the geniuses at Patio want?"
"It's not about making women feel fat. This is, 'Look how happy I am that I drink Patio. I'm young and excited and desperate for a man'."
"Peggy, I know you understand how this works. Men want her, women want to be her."
"It is. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable."
"You're not artist, Peggy. You solve problems. Leave some tools in your toolbox."
"Hey, where's mom?"
"What's the matter?"
"No, you're not."
"William says?"
"William."
"I'll go get the chicken in a minute."
"I don't care."
"About your father."
"This is what's going to happen. You are going to explain to your sister and your wife that we have reached an understanding. You are going to support your father financially and I am going to take him into my house. His house is going to remain untouched."
"You're gonna go out and you're gonna tell your sister this is what you want. We'll pretend that you did the right thing on your own."
"And he's in my home. I want you to leave tonight and I want you to leave the Lincoln, I can't have him here without a car."
"New York Central, Broadway Limited from Penn Station. It leaves in 2 hours."
"Gene."
"I did. You were great."
"Fine."
"Whatta you got?"

Episode 3
"We don't have to go, you know?"
"It's Roger and Jane."
"Gene."
"Bed time."
"Look at you."
"Here. Gene, here you go."
"No, just this particular problem."
"Well, I think I am finally ready to go."
"Don't hand out your card."
"Do you want to go?"
"Can I get an Old Fashioned?"
"I don't have a lot of time."
"Rye OK with you?"
"You're not a member either?"
"I am at work disguised as a party."
"Why is that?"
"Where you from?"
"You look fit."
"Mid-Summer Night's Dream?"
"Where I grew up there was a roadhouse. It boasted live music. That meant a drum, a bass, and a player piano with nobody at it. I parked cars. Fancy people would go there. They'd get loud, they'd get drunk. But they wouldn't let me use the toilet."
"So, when nature called, I'd open up a trunk and relieve myself."
"I was 15. There's probably some kid out there doing it to us right now."
"Pennsylvania, by way of Illinois. We lost our farm and ended up in coal country."
"Don Draper, this is my wife, Betty."
"Primaries are still a long way off."
"Come on, come on. You should sit down."
"I'll take care of her."
"Your wife's drunk."
"Roger, it's late."
"No one thinks you're happy. They think you're foolish."

(You should Subscribe to our RSS, or follow us on Twitter)

Episode 4
"Don't get up."
"Don't let me interrupt."
"You'll have take radio the way it is."
"During the Depression I saw somebody throw a loaf of bread off the back of a truck. It was more dignified."
"Campbell, did you tell him who this idiot's father is?"
"Horace, Sr is connected to Bert Cooper in a million ways and I don't know if he would like what just happened in there."
"Well, there you have it."
"Has anybody been outside, do I need a coat?"
"I look forward to his average work. Replace him."
"What were you gonna do if you had to fire him? Have Sal do it."
"Sal, do you wanna do it?"
"It's lifted straight from 'Bye, Bye, Birdie.' It's a single shot. Sal did the storyboards. I could one, but I don't think I should have to. Alison?"
"Gene."
"Gene, don't."
"Bobby give it back."
"There was a person in that helmet."
"Bobby, it's a dead man's hat, take it off."
"Of course."
"That's not strictly true, but you are family and, well, it appears to be a lot of money."
"Well, you know, your son has a dream."
"So, you want us to proceed?"
"Pleasure to see you again.
"I'll sign him tonight."
"Jack Kennedy certainly ended up with a better job than his father."
"I want to give you a piece of advice. I've been doing this a while and I applaud your enthusiasm. But I think you should take this decision a little more seriously."
"You have a great fortune. That's not just money, that's the future. And we will take all of your money, I promise you. But I think you should evaluate this particular obsession. You can do better."
"Then why aren't you eating dinner with Ogilvy?"
"Mr. Hooker, did Lane stop by the clubhouse?"
"Full steam ahead."
"Well, you head him boys. Don't stop until you see the whites of his pockets."
"Bill it to the kid."
"Look, I don't think there's any ambiguity about this being exactly, and I mean exactly what you asked for."
"That is magnanimous."
"Send him in."
"It must be horrible having a client insist on something and then change their mind once they've seen it. I hope it never happens to me."
"I'm in a meeting."
"What's the matter?"
"Oh. I'm sorry, Bets."
"I'm very sorry."
"Do you want me to call William?"
"Just stay put, I'll be right there."
"I'm gonna have to go."
"There's nothing you could do. Don't ruin the only good thing to come of this. You are now a commercial director."
"You'll know when I hire you again. Alison, I'm going for the day."
"What does that mean?"
"Bets, don't eat that. It was in his car all day."
"Sally, sweetheart."

Episode 5
"What happened?"
"She didn't need stitches in the end, I understand?"
"Sally didn't mention it?"
"I don't think children belong in graveyards."
"She was?"
"It's not a good time."
"I can."
"I'd like to have that in writing."
"I signed his receipts, didn't I?"
"Morris, comma, in reference to retooling the factory for London Fog children and young adults…"
"You're wasting paper."
"They waste paper because they throw out bad ideas."
"You came here because we do this better than you and part of that is letting our Ceatives be unproductive until they are."
"I don't want to talk you this way."
"We've tried it before and it never works."
"You want to make money? Start getting your nails dirty with Bert Cooper and Harry Crane. Clients love to pay for media and Creative needs pencils."
"And lay off expense accounts. Think of the men's morale and not just your own."
"I've seen everything. You have my ticket stubs."
"Hello? Anyone home? I'll get it."
"Hello?"
"Yes."
"No."
"Why?"
"No. You're fine."
"Bets. Thanks for the call."
"No one."
"Hang in there, Bets."
"It's not, but I'll have one."
"Whenever you want."
"Twice. And yet, I never thought to bring a bottle."
"My daughter took forever. I remember being pretty worked up. And the nurse said 'Don't forget your wife's in the boat, you're on the shore."
"Yes."
"Not enough."
"Well, the good news, time has stopped."
"They attack you?"
"I do."
"Except your subjects want to kill you."
"How do they know you're dangerous?"
"Everybody in stripes."
"That's a bullshit excuse."
"Try now."
"I don't think that's unusual."
"Our worst fears lie in anticipation."
"Congratulations."
"Thanks, Dennis."
"Go see your baby."
"I heard you."
"It's a boy."
"How do you feel?"
"You look beautiful, Bets."
"What'd you say?"
"We don't have to decide that now."
"No. And I don't expect to for the next 6 months."
"Roger."
"Where are you?"
"She did."
"No name yet."
"Why were you in the art department?"
"I missed half a day."
"I'll see what I can do."
"Can I get some coffee?"
"What are you doing out of bed?"
"A snack, want some?"
"Mommy's much better at it."
"I am."
"Why's that?"
"Really?"
"It's not Grandpa Gene's room. It's the baby's room."
"Well, I thought you were going to be a boy. Not all surprises are bad. Everything's going to be fine."
"Well, then, I guess it must be true."
"Send her in."
"You didn't have to do that."
"I invited you in."
"Maybe we need to get you a cheaper secretary."
"It's not a good time."
"It's not gonna happen, Peggy, not now. I'm fighting for paper clips around here."
"You're gonna be fine, Peggy."
"Really?"
"I suppose that's probably true."
"What do you want me to say?"
"You see what's been going on here the last 6 months?"
"We're here."
"Remember you have to be careful."
"Want something to eat."
"I got it. Come on."

Episode 6
"It's 10:30, why aren't you asleep?"
"Sally?"
"What are you afraid of?"
"I'm home now. Nothing can hurt you. Except maybe this mess. Pick up your room, we'll get you a nightlight."
"Go to sleep."
"4th of July. Subtle."
"I assume you know what this is about."
"Why?"
"London."
"That's not necessary."
"Go to town."
"I already had one."
"I don't believe that story."
"Because you've sold it."
"No one said you did anything."
"Listen, Roger. I'm OK, Angelo. We don't need to talk about this anymore. I promise."
"Thank you."
"I gotta shave."
"They ordered me to do it. We have an inspection tomorrow. The British."
"Did you pick up a night light."
"I don't know that she resents him."
"We don't know. Delayed everybody's vacation plans."
"Who?"
"Would you ever want to live in London? I'm serious."
"Nothing."
"I am."
"That's very flattering."
"That's very impressive."
"I as well."
"I don't think so."
"What?"
"Uh, I know what he does, why is he calling?"
"And he's calling for me?"
"Put him through."
"Donald Draper."
"May I ask what this is regarding?"
"How about right now?"
"15 minutes."
"I'm on my way."
"I'm Donald Draper."
"We have, haven't we?"
"We had a drink, of course."
"I can't believe you're Conrad Hilton."
"Don."
"I'm fine."
"I really should have known that."
"Well, they don't do that for everyone."
"How did you find me."
"Well, here I am. What can I do for you?"
"I think you wouldn't be in the Presidential suite right now if you worked for free."
"Connie, this is my profession, what do you want me to do?"
"I don't think anybody wants to think of a mouse in a hotel."
"I might."
"I'm not gonna lie. I'd love a chance at your business."
"Well, Connie. There are snakes that go months without eating and then they catch something, but they're so hungry that they suffocate while they're eating. One opportunity at a time."
"Home or office?"
"Joan. My God."
"How is he?"
"But he's not going to."
"Jesus, that's awful."
"I'll wait."
"Despite the circus today, I hope you know that you are going to be terribly missed."
"I'm sure you're right."
"It's a terrible tragedy."
"I don't know if that's true."
"You should get home to that lucky husband."
"Sure."
"That's a good one."
"Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey."
"Hey. I got you. I got you. Just breathe."
"Come on. Calm down and tell me what's going on."
"He's not."
"He's a baby, that's it. Now I want you to go to sleep. There's no such thing as ghosts."
"Bets, this has to stop."
"No she's not jealous, she's scared, and it's all because he has that name."
"No, that's ridiculous. Let's talk about Sally."
"He hated me and I hated him. That's the memory."
"Come on, let's get you to sleep."
"You see? It's alright. This is your little brother. He's only a baby and we don't know who he is yet or what he's going to be and that is a wonderful thing."

Episode 7
"Well, it's hard for me to judge when I can't see a price tag."
"I think it's fine, Bets."
"Move the end table and the lamp to the other end of the couch."
"Yes, it is."
"How was it?"
"It'll help him."
"I like the title."
"Is he publishing it himself?"
"Move it? I'm 15 minutes late. I told you I don't want them hovering. If I'm late, send them away and call them when I get here."
"Right now?"
"Hold on. Come back in 20 minutes. Did you offer him coffee?"
"20 minutes."
"Move it."
"Alison hold all my calls."
"Connie, what a great day to start the day?"
"Well, can I get you something."
"What can I do for you?"
"I'm easily distracted."
"Maybe I'm late because I was spending time with my family reading the bible."
"Well, you caught my by surprise, Connie. I think you know that."
"Yes."
"Don't you have a coterie of trusted advisors, friends, kings that might council you better?
"I think that's a good start."
"I look forward to it."
"If you say so."
"Speak to you soon."
"Miami's where we should start. Let it grow from there."
"Look, do you want to kill this thing in one year, or do you want to shear the sheep every year."
"We ran into each other at a party. That'll be all."
"Pete, I think you're supposed to bring in the account and I'm supposed to beg to be on it. What happened with North American Aviation?"
"When they do, we can talk about Hilton."
"I thought I'd let it be an incoming phone call and then wait to see who took credit for it."
"Finally."
"We travel in the same circles."
"Well, don't be afraid to push back. I agreed to the New York hotels, but everything else should be under our terms."
"I'll give him my word."
"It's very generous. I'll think about it."
"Look, I've gotten to know Conrad Hilton a little bit and I think he'll enjoy something he can't have. And you should tell him it matters to me."
"Still, I don't think anyone told him it matters to me."
"I'd be happy to."
"Yes."
"Huh, Jesus."
"Go ahead, I'll take Ernie home."
"Sally has a crush on her."
"You stare at the sun everyday?"
"You run?"
"Do you talk?"
"Oh, I will once it gets a little further along."
"How's your summer going?"
"Are you going to take a vacation?"
"Been here in August? It's a ghost town."
"Oh, we'll be here."
"I was just making conversation. You can change it if you want to."
"Do you want me to leave you alone, just say so."
"Nothing's happening, we're just talking."
"And where I come from, school teachers especially used to say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover."
"Is that impossible?"
"So how do people live elsewhere?"
"I'm not bored."
"Short."
"He hasn't gotten back to me."
"It's not that."
"Come on in."
"No."
"Who told you we were going to land Hilton? Because we're not. And I resent you bringing work in here under pretense."
"I didn't need to sign off on this."
"And you thought you'd come in here and ask for it because I never say no."
"What do I have to do for you, Peggy, tell me. You were my secretary and now you have an office and a job that a lot of full grown men would kill for. Every time I turn around you have your hand in my pocket. You want a raise. You want this account. Put your nose down and pay attention to your work because there's not one thing you've done here that I couldn't live without."
"You're good. Get better. Stop asking for stuff. Close the door."
"What's wrong?"
"What?"
"What do you think? I'm calling him."
"Bets, don't worry about my job."
"It doesn't concern you. You're taking care of."
"Let me explain something to you about business, since, as usual, you're turning this into something about yourself. No contract means I have all the power. They want me, but they can't have me."
"Good night."
"Where you headed?"
"Hop in."
"Thank you."
"Nice to meet you."
"Couple miles."
"In Niagara Falls, fancy that."
"Why is that?"
"I'm sure you have a good reason, not that it's any of my business."
"Again, none of my business."
"I have it on good authority that you're right."
"Nope, I'm in advertising."
"Thank you."
"That's true."
"What are they?"
Give me one. Make it two."
"How old are you?"
"No, I'm not."
"Shut up."
"That's right."
"Fender bender."
"No thank you."
"Fender bender."
"Thank you."
"Good morning."
"What do you want?"
"I would."
"I don't want anymore contact with Roger Sterling."
"I signed it."

(You should Subscribe to our RSS, or follow us on Twitter)

Episode 8
"If you're wondering, there's a Hathaway in there. The hotel gave me someone else's shirt."
"What are they doing out there?"
"They should be paying you for this."
"This is Don. OK. When? Tuesday night. Pan Am? Sure, send it to my office. You as well."
"He wants me to fly out Tuesday night and join him in Rome."
"Not for two days it isn't, I'll see the Coliseum from a taxi cab."
"First of all, that's not true. Second, there's nothing stopping you from coming with me. You have a passport."
"We can stay at the Waldorf anytime you want."
"Sorry, Birdie."
"I gotta catch up on my sleep."
"You know what happened to the Hilton cufflinks? They're little Stetsons, sterling silver."
"Look at that, how'd it go?"
"Car comes at a quarter to six."
"Yes."
"So they just killed the whole development."
"That's real politics."
"I'm up. I'm up."
"What, no. I can buy you a ticket at the airport."
"Sure, why not?"
"Wow."
"Which one?"
"I can barely stand up. Let me see what's going on."
"Sorry, I haven't changed my money yet."
"Whiskey, neat. May I join you?"
"Are they making fun of me?"
"I'm only in Rome for one night, I won't have my heart broken."
"Room 763."
"To whatever they were saying."
"Does that bother you?"
"I was just hoping you were easy."
"What brings you to Rome? Seeing anything interesting?
"Connie, this is my wife, Betty."
"He's something."
"You're tiny."
"Hello?"
"No. No, I'm up."
"Breakfast, sure, let me just…You know, Connie, Betty's telling me she already ordered breakfast up to the room. Can I meet you afterwards?"
"I did. I like sleeping on this side of the bed."
"I have to get up."
"Order something. Give us a full report."
"It was short and it was sweet."
"I'm gonna go check the mail, you want anything?"
"I called the office. Hilton sent a packet over before we even left."
"Hello, Francine."
"Hey."
"What's wrong?"
"Oh, Bets. We'll go away again, you know we will."
"Do me a favor. Look under your pillow. Open it. I saw it in the gift shop, but we were leaving, so I had Connie send it."
"I'll have it put on your bracelet."

Episode 9
"Hello."
"Connie."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"That's very interesting."
"Instinct."
"You want me to take your international business, Connie?"
"Let me think on that."
"OK."
"That's very good, Connie."
"Then I guess it's not that memorable."
"Done."
"Goodbye."
"I'm sorry about that."
"Baby's up every 3 hours, Hilton only calls every 4."
"I can't sleep. Going in."
"What are you doing?"
"In the dark?"
"You're wrong about that. Let me give you a ride, where you going?"
"So take a break, you smoke?"
"You think they can understand it?"
"Who are you? Are you dumb or pure? Running out here in the middle of the night and I run into you. How did that happen?"
"I don't know, I can't sleep. Right or left."
"It's a nice house."
"Have coffee with me."
"I'm always late. Just coffee."
"Good morning. Sorry."
"Can you get me some coffee, please? And I need you to type this up and get it to Hilton before he leaves for Europe."
"This. Coffee. Hilton."
"That window looks as old to me as those columns. Anybody look at a picture of the Athens Hilton?"
"And believe it or not, we're not allowed to pretend that's a view from the window at the Hilton, because it's not."
"The tag is flat."
"Well, that doesn't make it good. If it's bad, don't use it. What else?"
"Now that I can finally understand you, I am less impressed with what you have to say. That's your work, too. Who's we?"
"And how do I know that, take out a magnifying glass and look at one of those tiny hotels."
"There is no deadline. I want to see work as you think of it. Give me more ideas to reject. I can't do this all by myself."
"Hello?"
"Is it?"
"It's not a problem, Connie."
"Right now?"
"I'll be there. Give me an hour. Hello?"
"So what is that, moonshine?"
"I remember this."
"I didn't know that."
"You might be working too much."
"I'm not an expert."
"I'm glad you're telling me this."
"That's good."
"I did, but when I hear you say it, it sounds beautiful."
"Stop it. You're not."
"Thank you. I mean it."
"I can see you and I can here you. What do you want? Who died?"
"What?"
"Harry?"
"Roger did what?"
"Fantastic. That's a $25 Million account you stuck your nose in, Crane. Just get out."
"What happened?"
"I understand what just happened, what happened with the cut?"
"Sal, something must have happened. I can't help you unless you tell me."
"Jesus, I'm not gonna ask again."
"Cornered you?"
"You must have been really shocked?"
"But nothing happened because nothing could have happened because you're married?"
"You sure you want to do that? Who do you think you're talking to?"
"That would depend on what kind of girl and what I knew about her. You people."
"Lucky Strike could shut off our lights."
"I think you know that this is the way that this has to be. You'll do fine."
"Get me Lee Garner, Jr."
"Hi!"
"Not good."
"I don't care as long as I don't have to go. When is it?"
"A fundraiser for Rockefeller."
"I'm gonna go lie down. Goodnight, Carla."
"Rome, Tehran, Tokyo are magnificent destinations and that's really been the focus of almost every campaign you've had. Up 'til now. How to lure the American traveler abroad? What more do we need to than a picture of Athens to get our heart racing? And yet, the average American experiences a level of luxury that belongs only to kings in most of the world. We're not chauvinists, we just have expectations. Well, now there's one word that promises the thrill of international travel with the comfort of home. Hilton. How do you say ice water in Italian? Hilton. How do you say fresh towels in Farsi? Hilton. How do you say hamburger in Japanese? Hilton. Hilton, it's the same in every language."
"We'll see."
"Excuse me?"
"Well, right now that's not an actual destination."
"We-. I'll admit, I misunderstood that. I'm sure there's a way to fit that into this."
"This is a good campaign. One of the best. It's modern, it's witty, it's eye catching, it will change your business."
"Or they trust my work."
"Most ad men believe that clients are the thing that gets in the way of good work. I've never experienced that."
"This is a great campaign."
"Send him in."
"Who told you that?"
"Everything's under control."
"I'd tell you, but I don't want to hurt your feelings."
"Hello."
"Bets, Hilton just called. I'm going in."
"Go back to sleep."
"Then let me in."
"This is nice."
"I don't know. I wanted to talk."
"What do you want me to say? You've been flirting with me for months."
"So I can't stop thinking about you."
"Tell me you've run past that stretch of highway in the past 2 weeks and not thought of me, not looked for me?"
"So what?"
"I want you. I don't care. Doesn't that mean anything to someone like you?"

(You should Subscribe to our RSS, or follow us on Twitter)

Episode 10
"Yes. How was school today?"
"I do. It's just your answer's always longer so I thought I would start with Sally."
"No."
"Bets, I don't have a choice."
"Were you grading papers?"
"Thanks, Ms. Farrell. That's good to know."
"What did you say?"
"I would have told Charlie that my job is about boiling down communications to its essentials and that I know that there is a blue that at least 45% of the populations sees as the same."
"Maybe. The truth is that people may see things differently, but they don't really want to."
"Nobody feels as good about what they do as you do."
"I would have liked you. Long curly hair. No one has that anymore."
"Good morning, fellas. Yes."
"Too much story. Every time I here 'and then', there's another chance for the ladies at home to misunderstand."
"OK."
"Kerchief in a can? Don't use that, but very nice."
"What do you have for Western Union?"
"Hilton takes precedence, so I need you 2 to be ready for me at a moment's notice."
"How is that supposed to help?"
"I don't know why it took 2 months?"
"In his dressiest Stetson."
"What's going on?"
"No, it's OK."
"Don't."
"Why did you answer?"
"Get rid of him for 15 minutes and I'll run out."
"No. So there's a man in there, he doesn't need to know it's me."
"I don't want to ruin this."
"What happened there?"
"Well, I should be going."
"I wish you the best."
"I'll call you."
"Hang it up."
"Hey."
"What are you doing here?"
"Did you call my house last night?"
"Sit down. I'm sorry."
"Your brother's there."
"I'm sorry."
"Are you sure?"
"Hello."
"Let me do it. Let me drive him. Where you going again?"
"Then you'll have to come back alone. Let me do this for you."
"No, we're fine."
"Do you need to stop?"
"Well, I am. So I guess you kind of have to."
"I don't know if you're capable of understanding, but that job is important."
"No."
"Things didn't turn out so well for him."
"Hold on."
"I'm older than you, and I'm telling you it seems bad now, but you can still change things."
"Does that just sound stupid to you?"
"You need money?"
"I swore to myself I would try to do this right once."
"I want you to call me if you ever need you and I want you to remember if something happens to you your sister will never forgive herself."
"That I let you out 20 miles outside of Framingham?"
"Take care."
"He knows that."
"Nice."
"He'll be as good as he can be."
"It's OK."
"No. Can you get my wife on the phone?"
"Betty."
"I told you, I was with Hilton."
"Well did you remember to pick up my tuxedo?"
"I'll get home around 5:30, we should leave within the hour."
"What's wrong?"
"Get into bed, grab a hot water bottle, you have 7 hours. It's all the clients, all the partners and they're all expecting me to show up with the glamorous, elegant, stunning Betty Draper. I want to show you off, Bets."
"Sounds like you're talking to her parents. They should really be at that wedding."
"That's a slogan, not an idea. Paul."
"Damn it, Kinsey, what's your excuse?"
"Excuse me?"
"I hate when that happens."
"You can't frame a phone call."
"That's the way to go. You 2 keep working on that."
"Party's tonight. Monday."
"See, it all works out."
"Bets, are you ready?"
"Ready, Bets?"
"Look how pretty mommy is."
"Please. Please. Please. I'm very honored."

Episode 11
"You'll wear it once. Plus it's made out of plastic and it's crap."
"I'll go get it."
"There's more? It's a week."
"Oooh. They have a Woolworth's in Philly, too."
"Swing by the bank, there should be at least $200 in your checking. It's plenty."
"Take care."
"I can't tell if you two know each other or not."
"I think it's a tall order. Do you have to use horse meat?"
"I've eaten it."
"Don't change the name, don't change the product. Got it."
"I'll put the fellas on it."
"All the lights were on, I figured you'd be home."
"That's very thoughtful."
"And hot pepper?"
"I know."
"I pushed you."
"I'm happy now."
"What? OK. I'm gonna go lie down. Come get me when you want to."
"I don't want it to pass. The day I dropped the kids off at school and I saw you in the yard. I kept wishing you could get in the car and drive away with me."
"I'll clear my schedule, we can go to Mystic or something for the rest of the week."
"I am."
"This your first group?"
"Somebody get that."
"Turn off the sound."
"Any agency that does not change the name is stealing your money. The product is good. Dogs love it, but the name has been poisoned."
"I'm not saying a new name is easy to find, and we will give you a lot of options, but it's a label on a can. And it will be true because it will promise the quality of the product that's inside."
"I'll be right out."
"I'll be right back, Salamander."
"I left my hat in the car."
"You're home early, what did William do now?"
"Why didn't you just call the office? I came to feed the dog and change shirts, I have a client dinner in the city."
"What's going on?"
"Bets, that's my desk."
"Betty, this is my desk. It's private. Where did you get these?"
"No."
"I can explain. You didn't have to look at my things."
"People change their name, Bets. You did."
"I can explain."
"Bets, I… I need a drink."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Where do you want me to start?"
"Donald Draper. But it used to be Dick Whitman."
"It wasn't…romantic. I ended up married to her because I ran away to join the army. There was an accident and this guy was killed and I was injured, but they made a mistake. And all I had to do was be him and I could leave Korea."
"Donald Draper."
"Yes."
"Yes. I found out it was easier to be him than to start over. And it turned out he was married to that woman so I took care of her. And then I divorced her the minute I met her."
"When? The day we met? On our first date? On our wedding night? Why did you neeed to know?"
"No, I don't."
"I was very poor."
"I did and she reminded me that I loved you."
"I was surprised that you ever loved me."
"I don't know."
"I didn't think I had a choice and I don't know what the difference is. This is our house. Those are our children."
"Yes you do."
"Bets, I'm in here. How is he?"
"Sit with me."
"This was my father, Archibald. But this… But that's not my mother. My mother was a 22 year old prostitute who died having me. This woman, Abigail, Arch's wife. She raised me. When I was 10, Arch died and we moved. And Abigail took up with him. Mac. Uncle Mac. He was nice to me."
"They're all dead."
"He was my half brother. And he died. Killed himself. He came to me because he wanted help and I turned him away. He didn't even want help, he just, he just wanted to be a part of my life and I couldn't risk all of this. He hung himself."
"Are you going to have something?"
"Yes, of course."
"I'll see you tonight."
"I canceled my plans."
"I have plenty to do."
"I stopped by, no one answered."
"About last night."
"It's more complicated than that."
"Not right now. No."
"Only you would ask about me right now."
"No."
"Goodbye, Suzanne."
"Yes."
"No."
"It's cold out there. You can stay here with him, or I can."
"Good."

Episode 12
"I'm here."
"I've done it before."
"You want anything?"
"Is this official?"
"At least you had the guts to send me a memo."
"Salvatore Romano is gone. There's no one in charge of the art department."
"Jesus, it's hotter in here than in my office."
"Do you want me to walk you through a delivery schedule?"
"I don't understand. I can't run my department without an art director."
"Bert Cooper still has a say around here."
"What the hell is going on?"
"Bets?"
"Where's your mother?"
"Why are the kids watching this?"
"Take a pill and lie down. I can handle the kids."
"Turn this off, I'll make us some dinner."
"Can you two look at me? Everything's going to be OK. We have a new president and we're all going to be sad for a little bit. And then on Monday there's going to be a funeral."
"You should get ready, it's almost 2."
"Come on, Bets."
"I'm not gonna call Roger to find out. If we go in and it's off, we'll grab dinner or something. I can't sit in front of the TV all day."
"Just stay here until Carla comes."
"You want to dance?"
"Hey. Everything's going to be fine."
"You'll see."
"You ready?"
"What happened?"
"What?"
"Bets."
"Nothing. Go upstairs."
"Where?"
"Let me drive. I'll get the kids, we'll all go somewhere. That's a good idea."
"Francine has the kids."
"What?"
"You're very upset. I understand. I know it's painful, but it's going to pass."
"Bets, don't. You're distraught."
"Stop it."
"You'll feel better tomorrow, you'll see."
"You're right."
"Morning."
"I have to go to work, I'm sorry."
"I'm fine."
"Peggy. What are you doing here?"
"What do you have?"
"Bars are closed."
"Yes."

(You should Subscribe to our RSS, or follow us on Twitter)

Episode 13
"Sorry I'm late."
"I'm well, Connie, thank you. How are you?"
"What?"
"Why?"
"So, we're all gone?"
"Bullshit. It's a sausage factory. I turned them down 3 years ago."
"You come and go as you please?"
"And you don't give a crap that my future is tied up in this mess because of you?"
"And you wanted to play with me. Kick me around. Knock me down to size. Why you called me son. I get it now, Connie, it's business."
"Yes."
"Conrad Hilton told me PPL is being sold and us along with it."
"So you knew about this?"
"So what do we do?"
"So that's it? You're losing your business and you don't care?"
"Well, do something about it. If Sterling Cooper is for sale, why don't we buy it from PPL? We could put everything back the way it was"
"And you old men like building golden tombs and sealing the rest of us in with you. You're done. You know that, right?"
"I understand, I'll let you get back to sleep."
"Because I'm sick of getting batted around like a ping pong ball. Who the hell is in charge, a bunch of accountants trying to turn a dollar into a dollar ten? I want to work. I want to build something of my own, how do you not understand that, you did it yourself 40 years ago."
"Try me."
"I understand that."
"New Years Day."
"You talk to him."
"Conrad Hilton told me this morning."
"Because we don't want to go to McCann."
"It's more than that. You know Bert's done for."
"You want to work there?"
"I was wrong. I learned that with Hilton. I can sell ideas, but I'm not an account man."
"I value my relationship with you."
"I do."
"We have to try."
"I'll be up."
"You want me to go, too?"
"Come on, Bets. What are you doing seeing a lawyer?"
"You haven't been yourself. Maybe you need to see a doctor. A good one."
"You've had a tough couple of weeks. We all have."
"Well, forget it, I'm not going to let you break up this family."
"Close the door, have a seat."
"I couldn't sleep and I thought, why don't we go to McCann directly?"
"You're not even going to ask?"
"I want you to find out what the price was and give us a shot."
"Go ahead. It's the only thing you did well here."
"Jesus, that's right. You have absolute authority to fire anyone, fire us. Fire us, sever our contracts, let us go."
"Because once this sale goes through, you'll be thrown overboard and you'll be a corpse knocking against their hull."
"So we're negotiating. We'll put your name on the door."
"No."
"Obtain? We have to steal everything."
"Do we vote or something?"
"Alison, Mr. Price has requested an office wide memo. The office is closed this weekend. All work suspended. Carpet cleaning. Can you get me Mr. Campbell?"
"Call his house, it's important. Peggy, my office."
"Shut the door, sit down."
"They're selling the company."
"I'm starting a new agency. I need you here Sunday evening to get your things and to help us collect whatever accounts we end up taking."
"Yes."
"Why do you need to know that?"
"I can't tell you. Peggy, we are being bought by McCann. Do you know what that means?"
"I'm not going to beg you."
"Fine. I'm asking you."
"I guess I'll have to talk to Kurt and Smitty."
"How are you?"
"And how are you? We've been calling all day."
"We're fine."
"We're not firing you."
"Pete, we're starting a new agency. We're here to talk to you about joining us."
"Pete, I don't blame you for bailing out the way you've been treated."
"It's not hard for me to say it, Pete. You saw this coming, we didn't. In fact, you've been ahead on a lot of things. Aeronautics, teenagers, the negro market. We need you to keep us looking forward. I do, anyway."
"There's not going to be a lobby."
"We'll make you a partner if you can deliver by Sunday."
"We'll leave the name and the title as a goal, like it or not, that works with you."
"Welcome aboard."
"It's not an option. Goodnight."
"I can't believe he was going to leave."
"Not in this place."
"I need an attorney. Divorce."
"What are you talking about?"
"Who?"
"I need you to tell me what you know."
"Are they sleeping together?"
"Wake up."
"I don't care. Who the hell is Henry Francis?"
"Who the hell is he?"
"Because you're good and everyone else in the world is bad."
"You're so hurt, so brave, with your little white nose in the air. All along, you've been building a life raft."
"You never forgave me."
"You got everything you ever wanted. Everything, and you loved it! And now I'm not good enough for some spoiled mainline brat."
"You won't get a nickel and I'll take the kids. God knows they'll be better off."
"You're a whore. You know that?"
"It'll just be temporary."
"Yes."
"No. It has nothing to do with you. That's not what I mean. I love you both, you know that."
"I'm not going. I'm just living elsewhere."
"Sally, sweetheart."
"I will, it's just a different home."
"Listen to me, both of you. I will be here. You can call me and I will answer and I will be here. Sally. Sally."
"Nobody wants to do this, but I need you to be a big boy."
"Can I come in?"
"Yes I do. You were right. I've taken you for granted and I've been hard on you, but only because I think I see you as an extension of myself and you're not."
"Please, sit down."
"Do you know why I don’t go to McCann?"
"Because there are people out there who buy things, people like you and me, and something happened. Something terrible. And the way that they saw themselves is gone. And nobody understands that, but you do. And that's very valuable."
"With you or without you, I'm moving on. And I don't know if I can do it alone. Will you help me?"
"No. I won't spend the rest of my life trying to hire you." [Possibly "No. I will spend the rest of my life trying to hire you."]
"Sorry I'm late."
"Joan, what a good idea. We'll you're here, what'd you bring?"
"Clearisil?"
"I'll go start my office."
"I'm at the Roosevelt, but I'll need you to find me an apartment."
"For the time being."
"Go ahead fellas."
"I never saw myself working in a place like this."
"Thank you, Trudi."
"There's food."
"It's me. I'm not sure where I'm staying right now, but I'll be working out of the Pierre."
"Listen, Bets, I want you to know I'm not going to fight you."
"I hope you get what you always wanted."
"OK. Well, goodbye."
"How was your morning?"

###

Possibly related posts:

Mad Men Season 3 Episode 13 Recap

aaron cohen — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 05:16:02 +0000

Well now. I can't imagine many people were disappointed with how this one went. While last week was about disaster, this week was about break ups, new beginnings, and trying to change what appears unchangeable. The satisfaction Don feels at starting off anew juxtaposed with the end of his marriage.

-Of course Don finds out about McCann buying PPL from Hilton. And while the new agency would seem like an opportunity to get more of Hilton's business, that doesn't appear in the cards. We'll see next year.

-Speaking of next year, what's your guess on how long down the road the season starts? I bet Sterling Cooper Draper Price will have moved into an office and is more of a viable business. That would mean that we see nothing for the Draper divorce, though.

-Speaking of the Draper divorce, what will Betty's role be next year? I've voiced displeasure with her character before, but I can't imagine her being completely jettisoned the way Sal was.

-Speaking of Sal, interesting that they threw a bone to all the people who miss him with the momentary trouble of the art department being locked. How many of you thought that'd be his ticket back until Don kicked that door down? Or maybe he really is done on the show. One way to come back could be working for McCann, now that they don't have Lucky Strike. Kenny and his Haircut and Kinsey will also need to pop up from time to time.

-With Pete and Peggy ostensibly re-energized is that it for Duck? I'm still curious what Peggy sees in him, but her track record with guys is pretty awful, so I suppose she just has bad taste.

-"We can put everything back the way it was." Don's talking about a new agency, but at this point, he hasn't tried for the last time to convince Betty to stay, so there might be some of that, too. Still, I think he knows it's over and this is how he's moving on. The agency is what he will be married to for a while. (Excuse the cliche.) There was an energy to the scheming scenes that we've only seen in the client meetings, so that was nice. In one of the last scenes Don realizes the agency is for real, and is finally able to let Betsy move on, and maybe move on himself.

-"You're not good at relationships because you don't value them." Roger and Don appear to be back on good terms, partly because Don gave Roger what he'd been looking for this season, an acknowledgment that Don DID need him. Roger's quote by the way speaks volumes, doesn't it? He didn't value Betty enough to tell her the truth about Dick Whitman (whether she would have understood is something else), and he lost her. Don only got Pete on board when he showed that he valued him. Same, and more obviously, with Peggy.

-Roger Sterling flat killed it this episode. He had great lines and delivered them perfectly. Speaking of Roger Sterling lines, I wonder where New York Magazine got the idea for this?

-Did you notice in the episode where Don and Betty went to Rome, Don said something like "I like this side of the bed." In the next episode, he was sleeping on that side of the bed back at home. Then after getting confronted by Betty, he was back on his side. Tonight, when Don angrily confronted Betty about Henry Francis, she was asleep on Don's original side. Get it straight!

-There were a lot of references to agreements/contracts (and getting out of them) in this episode. Betty hiring and speaking to a divorce lawyer, who told her the way to get out of her marriage was to establish residency in Reno. Hilton telling Don he would be moving to another agency, and Don realizing he'd be stuck at McCann for 3 years. Don coming up with the scheme to have Lane fire the 3 partners, thus freeing them from their obligations. And finally, Arch turning his back on the grain coop because of the price they had negotiated for their crops. This was obviously the most revealing, as it showed where Don gets it from.

-Now that we've seen Arch's death on screen, does that mean the flashbacks won't be a part of the show anymore? That should be a rule, right? Or, is that what happens to people who back out of agreements? Who knows...

-There's something to the idea that Don learns of the PPL sale from Hilton and about Henry Francis from Roger. I'm struggling with that, though. Father figures? Complicated relationships

-"I hope you get what you always wanted." Betty won't, though, because I don't think she knows what she wants. Which has been a theme on the show before, because Don usually doesn't know what he wants either. Didn't Roger say this to Joan a couple weeks ago?

-"You say things and you don't mean them." Sally channeled her inner Betty with this line, or this is Betty speaking through her daughter. This has always been the knock on Don, though. He's great with his words, but doesn't stand behind them. This will probably continue to play out next year.

So! Don, Roger, Bert, Peggy, Pete, Joanie together again, with a little Lane and Harry thrown in there as well. Of the 3 seasons, this had the most breathtakingly strong episodes, but also a few clunkers as well. While it wasn't as consistently strong, there were definitely moments. Were you happy with how this all came together? Was it too perfect? Let's discuss!

###

Possibly related posts:

Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri

aaron cohen — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:41:14 +0000

This was a great collection of short stories. Although the stories all had different plots, there were strong themes tying them all together. I liked the first story and those towards the end. ###Possibly related posts:Killing Yourself to Live: 85% of a True Story by Chuck Klosterman David Sedaris, When You Are Engulfed In Flames [...] ### Possibly related posts:

Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri

aaron cohen — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:41:14 +0000