Skip to content

{ Category Archives } Movies

Superbad

It’s basically American Pie, isn’t it, with the gross-out humor replaced with awkwardness humor? Still, I laughed. It’s fun to see Michael Cera playing a role that isn’t basically just George Michael.

2008 04 03 matt Comments (1)

Shoot ‘Em Up

Rating: 3 stars

***

My friend Andrew once proposed that there are some things that are so preposterous they go beyond the mere ridiculous: they are, instead, ricockulous.

This movie is ricockulous. When none of the actors are saying their idiotic lines, it’s a pretty damn cool action movie, though.

2008 04 03 matt Comments (0)

The Hoax (2006)

Rating: 2 stars

**

The Hoax tells the story of a struggling author who convinces a publisher to pay him big bucks to write an authorized biography of Howard Hughes, only trouble being there was no authorization. It wasn’t that good and it wasn’t that bad and it was acted unremarkably though not poorly. If the producers of The Hoax set out to create an utterly and aggressively mediocre movie, they were astonishingly successful.

2008 03 21 ac Comments (0)

Once (2006)

Once is refreshing in it’s unabashed and remorseless sappiness. My lizard brain wasn’t able to handle the ending, though, which they might have to remake for the US release of the DVD. Movies made outside the US are not like movies made in the US.

2008 03 20 ac Comments (1)

The Astronaut Farmer

I watched this on a bus. I can’t imagine anyone voluntarily watching this movie. I’m giving it one star because it is, technically, a motion picture.

The Astronaut Farmer is either (a) the worst movie ever made, or (b) a deeply mischievous dark comedy about a monstrously selfish man and the hell that his monomaniacal obsession puts his family through.

The best part? When his rocket fails hilariously the first time he tries to launch it. Ha! Ha ha ha. Ha. I was totally rooting for J. K. Simmons’s cartoonishly sinister FAA director. (Yes. That’s right. In this movie, the bad guy is the cartoonishly sinister FAA director played by J. K. Simmons. Virginia Madsen and Bruce Willis also manage to embarrass themselves in this movie.)

Whoever wrote it should seek professional help. It had everything! Comic relief from the FBI guys with bad mustaches, smirking government bureaucrats, and even that old hoary staple of lazy writers looking for a way to signify that it’s their protagonist against the world: the evil child protective services lady!

Sadly, Billy Bob Thornton’s character lives at the end (OMG! Spoiler alert!), despite the fact that his homemade space ship stops working when it, like, passes near a satellite? Or something? It wasn’t entirely clear, but somehow putting his wedding ring on made the radio work again.

To call this movie an insult to my intelligence would be an insult to insults to my intelligence. Even the title makes no sense! He’s not a farmer. He’s a rancher! Farmer’s his last name! Gahahsdafhasdfhadshfsdhfasdhfjlj hatesplosion.

2008 03 10 matt Comments (4)

Be Kind Rewind (2008)

Rating: 2 stars

**

I still don’t know exactly what Be Kind Rewind was trying to do, but I also am not totally sold on the idea that a movie (or a work of art in general) can’t just be about entertainment without needing a message. In Be Kind Rewind, you always knew what was going to happen, which didn’t reduce it’s enjoyment that much. It’s just, what did end up happening wasn’t THAT great, you know?

2008 03 08 ac Comments (0)

Margot at the Wedding (2007)

Rating: 2 stars

**

I don’t know what to say about Margot at the Wedding. Unremarkable in many ways and then a sudden and strange ending. What exactly was the point?

2008 03 02 ac Blog Comments (1)

The Savages (2007)

Rating: 2 stars

**

Laura Linney’s character in The Savages was a playwright who kept wondering if her work was some sort of boring middle-class complaining. I had the sense that this was a question the writer of the movie had about the movie, and not unreasonably, because it was. Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman were great, but in a bad movie.

2008 02 23 ac Comments (0)

The Wind That Shakes the Barley (2006)

Normally Cillian Murphy’s eyes are freakishly too wet and his cheeks freakishly too red. In The Wind That Shakes the Barley, I only had to contend with his cheeks for some reason, and his bloody accent. I swear, subtitles were warranted for most of this informative and well-made movie.

2008 02 22 ac Comments (0)

28 Weeks Later (2007)

Rating: 4 stars

****

28 Weeks Later had me wondering why the force working to repatriate Britain (very clearly US forces and not NATO forces) had some semblance of a plan, but no sense of a back up plan if it didn’t work. I remember when the movie came out and critics claim echoes of Iraq and this might be what they were talking. I don’t think there’s very many things scarier than Rage Virus.

2008 02 22 ac Comments (0)

Barcelona (1994)

Rating: 5 stars

*****

I still don’t know why I loved Barcelona, though the delivery on my favorite line, “Well, I wasn’t using prig pejoratively” was impeccably timed. Unfortunately, no one I know has seen the movie, so it falls on deaf ears when I reference that line. I’d say, “Before ‘Bottle Rocket’, there was ‘Barcelona’,” but they came out the same year, so…

2008 02 21 ac Comments (2)

We Own the Night (2007)

Rating: 1 star

*

Joaquin Phoenix’s terrible follow-up to the spectacular Walk the Line, We Own the Night should claim the record for most mailed-in performances by name actors. The basic idea of the story was OK, but everything else was for shit, which might explain why Sony paid $11M for it after Warner Brothers and Universal were involved. Wait, no, it doesn’t explain why anyone spend $11 let alone $11M.

2008 02 17 ac Comments (0)

Michael Clayton (2007)

Rating: 4 stars

****

Michael Clayton was a great movie, though indicative of a weak movie year, because it wasn’t THAT great of a movie. Tilda Swinton’s (that is Best Supporting Actress Tilda Swinton) performance was stellar, but only 3rd best in the film. This movie was different, though besides the closing scene, I couldn’t tell you why.

2008 02 15 ac Comments (0)

Unknown (2006)

Rating: 1 star

*

Watching this movie, I got the feeling that it was spinning wildly out of control, like it was a machine or engine that was about to destroy itself. Then I saw this video on Boing Boing of a wind turbine that broke apart after spinning too fast. If you do watch Unknown, shut it off after about an hour so you won’t see it implode.

(PS, I had tried to embed the video of the windmill exploding into this post, but Wordpress didn’t want to let me. If you have any tips, let me know.)

2008 02 10 ac Comments (0)

Eastern Promises (2007)

Rating: 5 stars

*****

I’ve never liked anything David Kronenberg has done and never understood why people do. I loved everything about this movie, though, and think Viggo should win the Oscar for Best Actor. And not just for the fight scene, either.

2008 02 09 ac Comments (0)

There Will Be Blood (2007)

Rating: 4 stars

****

There Will Be Blood (2007) was probably the movie I was most looking forward to in the early part of this year because of all the hype. It barely exceeded my expectations, which is the problem with my expectations based rating system. This was a great film, but didn’t blow me away because I expected the best movie of my life.

2008 02 08 ac Comments (0)

Charlie Wilson’s War (2007)

Rating: 4 stars

****

I love politics. I love Tom Hanks. I love Philip Seymour Hoffman.

2008 01 25 ac Comments (0)

Juno (2007)

You know how sometimes in a movie, an actor’s fake accent will start to fade the longer the movie goes on (assuming the movie is filmed chronologically)? As it was very annoying, the first 20 minutes of Juno left me glad that the tooschoolforschool dialogue faded clearing the way for an enjoyable film. Cera and Bateman, together again.

2008 01 24 ac Comments (1)

Juno

Here’s a movie that’s been receiving pretty much universal acclaim, and boy-howdy, is it justified. You’ve got great performances by great actors as great characters in a movie that may even, depending on your interpretation, pass the Bechdel test.

Think it’s too clever and precious? That’s just because you have a heart of stone.

2008 01 20 matt Comments (4)

Amazing Grace (2006)

Rating: 3 stars

***

Better than a movie inspired by a theme park ride, Amazing Grace is a movie inspired by a song. It just happens that this song was written by a reformed slave-ship captain turned preacher who counted among his flock a boy who would grow up to be the English MP that lead the abolition fight in England. Confusing and constant flashbacks did mar this well acted movie.

2008 01 02 ac Comments (0)