Here's Season 3 of Everything Don Draper Said (and Season 1
and Season 2
(PLUS Everything Tracy Jordan Said Seasons 1
, and 3
)). There were a few episodes this season where Don's story wasn't necessarily the focal point, or he didn't have too many knockout scenes, and yet, as you scroll through, you'll still find some magic. He had about 500 more words than last season, but much less than the 10K words in Season 1. As always, what follows is a transcription of everything Don Draper said this season on Mad Men. There's no context, but if you're a fan of the show, you'll lose your morning looking at this. Enjoy!
"Come on, drink this."
"You're so sure it's a girl?"
"I could have done that."
"At least you don't look tired."
"Close your eyes."
"You're on a warm sandy beach."
"You're on a warm sandy beach. You can smell the faint scent of coconut oil. And as you slide your hands though that cold patch of sand underneath the shadow of your deck chair."
"Bert's on it's way. Where's Roger?"
"Well, it's a sales call, isn't there more I can do here?"
"Really? I have one."
"Come on in, Bert."
"This isn't easy."
"Is that the last of it? Because I don't like how much I'm getting used to these."
"Can you believe this? What is the world coming to?"
"That's not a bottle, it's his date."
"'I'm sorry honey, but I'm taken. I just pawned my typewriter so we can be together all weekend.'"
"Uh, Bill. Call me Bill. And, uh, this is my associate, Mr. Fleischman."
"Well, we have to check in and we have an early meeting."
"Hoffstadt. My brother in law. He borrowed a suitcase to go to Puerto Rico, but he never tires of putting his name on other people's things."
"Uh, no, it's OK. I don't usually tell people I'm an accountant."
"Of course you do know there are other kinds of accountants."
"Tell them what we do."
"Well, I'll have to swear you all to secrecy."
"You ever heard of James Hoffa."
"There is a lot of money missing."
"No, we're accountants."
"I don't know, I keep going to a lot of places and keep ending up somewhere I've already been."
"Well, this is me."
"I don't know."
"I've been married a long time. You get plenty of chances. It's my birthday."
"It really is."
"That's not gonna help."
"Come on, let's go. Come on, forget your shoes. Let's go. Come on!"
"I'm just here to show you the continuity of our service. With our without Bert Peterson, you are on our mind."
"Morris, you remember Salvatore Romano."
"Sal, this is Howard."
"Well, is it about our work? I mean, we don't want to take credit for everything, but 2 of every 3 raincoats sold last year had London Fog stitched on the inside pocket."
"London Fog is a 40 year old brand that sounds like it's existed forever. You've established with our help that it means one thing. Rain coats. New products aside, there will be fat years and there will be lean years, but it is going to rain."
"What time is it?"
"We should be back in the office by 3."
"I'm gonna ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me. London Fog. It's a subway car, and there's a commuter looking up. There's a girl with her back to us. She's wearing one of those short tan ones, but it's open. Her legs are bare. We know what he's seeing. Limit your exposure."
"Help yourself. So, Cosgrove vs Campbell. Is Cooper playing God or Darwin?"
"Lane read about it in some management book?"
"Our stories are straight."
"Find how much it is to repair and it will come out of your allowance."
"Then don't break things."
"I will always come home. You'll always be my girl."
"I don't sleep well when I'm not here."
"Well, it was the middle of the night and it was raining very hard and I had just come home from work."