James Wolcott profiles Alec Baldwin. It’s a good read, but nothing new, though I’m interested because Baldwin’s career is so interesting. He’s absolutely killing TV right now on 30 Rock, after killing Saturday Night Live all those years. He’s been great in a couple good movies (as Wolcott notes), but doesn’t have a big role in an important movie. How will we think about him in 20 years?

Oh, by the way, he’s talking about retiring after 30 Rock…

So perhaps the smoke signals he’s sending up about retiring aren’t a bluff. But I can’t help but think that if he gets the chance to work with Meryl Streep again he won’t say no. That would be like turning down dessert, and he’s a cat who can’t resist cream.

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I’ve been ambivalent about a TV show before, so I know how ambivalence feels. This is not ambivalence. This is disdain. I’m probably going to miss the show next week and I don’t care. I may or may not watch it later in the week. Who knows? I hope 24 is better tonight, but I bet it won’t be.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the ‘24′ related content on Unlikelywords.

We’ll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.
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Last week was a snoozer, hopefully we’ll get something better tonight. Actually, I have little faith I’ll be at all interested this season. The story arc is set (4 more hours until a showdown at the pier, where disaster will be narrowly averted, at which point a bigger threat will be identified). Remember a couple seasons ago when they set off the nuke in California? That’s the last time 24 surprised me, though I suppose the attack on the White House was unexpected. But only because it was so far out of the realm of possibility as to be absurd.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the ‘24′ related content on Unlikelywords.

We’ll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.
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I watched this entire season hours after having all 4 of my impacted wisdom teeth removed. I remember enjoying it, but can’t remember any plot specifics at all. So much so, that when I watched the premier of season 7, I went back to see if I had actually watched season 5 instead of 6.

Let’s give this another shot, shall we? I wasn’t wowed by 24 last night, and the 24 Live Blog ran into some technical difficulties and was largely unavailable during the first hour. Hopefully we can avoid that tonight and just have some fun. Ugh. As if watching 24 is fun.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the ‘24′ related content on Unlikelywords. I count the number of people Jack Bauer knocks down (JBKCs), and this year, I’ll also be counting the number of times someone says, damn it. (If I remember.) As always, let me know what you think in the comments!

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It’s time again for the 24 Live Blog. I’ve been pretty ambivalent about whether or not to do it again this year as the quality of the show keeps deteriorating. And yet, there’s something that won’t let me quit. I’m going to give it a go tonight and tomorrow to see if I’ve still got it, and we’ll see.

In case you’re new, this 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the ‘24′ related content on Unlikelywords. I count the number of people Jack Bauer knocks down (JBKCs), and this year, I’ll also be counting the number of times someone says, damn it. (If I remember.) As always, let me know what you think in the comments!

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We’ll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.
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The Onion says the ‘The Office’ Ends As Documentary Crew Gets All The Footage It Needs and a day later, Fimoculous had the following idea:

It’s a good idea, I’d watch that movie.

(Onion article via Title Case)

Here’s Season 3 of Everything Don Draper Said (and Season 1 and Season 2 (PLUS Everything Tracy Jordan Said Seasons 1, 2, and 3)). There were a few episodes this season where Don’s story wasn’t necessarily the focal point, or he didn’t have too many knockout scenes, and yet, as you scroll through, you’ll still find some magic. He had about 500 more words than last season, but much less than the 10K words in Season 1. As always, what follows is a transcription of everything Don Draper said this season on Mad Men. There’s no context, but if you’re a fan of the show, you’ll lose your morning looking at this. Enjoy!

Episode 1
“Come on, drink this.”
“You’re so sure it’s a girl?”
“I could have done that.”
“At least you don’t look tired.”
“Close your eyes.”
“You’re on a warm sandy beach.”
“You’re on a warm sandy beach. You can smell the faint scent of coconut oil. And as you slide your hands though that cold patch of sand underneath the shadow of your deck chair.”
“Bert’s on it’s way. Where’s Roger?”
“Well, it’s a sales call, isn’t there more I can do here?”
“Really? I have one.”
“Come on in, Bert.”
“This isn’t easy.”
“Is that the last of it? Because I don’t like how much I’m getting used to these.”
“Can you believe this? What is the world coming to?”
“That’s not a bottle, it’s his date.”
“‘I’m sorry honey, but I’m taken. I just pawned my typewriter so we can be together all weekend.’”
“Excuse me?”
“Uh, Bill. Call me Bill. And, uh, this is my associate, Mr. Fleischman.”
“Well, we have to check in and we have an early meeting.”
“The Belvedere.”
“Hoffstadt. My brother in law. He borrowed a suitcase to go to Puerto Rico, but he never tires of putting his name on other people’s things.”
“Really?”
“Uh, no, it’s OK. I don’t usually tell people I’m an accountant.”
“Of course you do know there are other kinds of accountants.”
“Tell them what we do.”
“Well, I’ll have to swear you all to secrecy.”
“You’re right.”
“You ever heard of James Hoffa.”
“There is a lot of money missing.”
“No, we’re accountants.”
“I don’t know, I keep going to a lot of places and keep ending up somewhere I’ve already been.”
“Sam.”
“Well, this is me.”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ve been married a long time. You get plenty of chances. It’s my birthday.”
“It really is.”
“That’s not gonna help.”
“Stand up.”
“Go on.”
“Not yet.”
“Come on, let’s go. Come on, forget your shoes. Let’s go. Come on!”
“Come on.”
“I’m just here to show you the continuity of our service. With our without Bert Peterson, you are on our mind.”
“Morris, you remember Salvatore Romano.”
“Sal, this is Howard.”
“Well, is it about our work? I mean, we don’t want to take credit for everything, but 2 of every 3 raincoats sold last year had London Fog stitched on the inside pocket.”
“London Fog is a 40 year old brand that sounds like it’s existed forever. You’ve established with our help that it means one thing. Rain coats. New products aside, there will be fat years and there will be lean years, but it is going to rain.”
“What time is it?”
“We should be back in the office by 3.”
“I’m gonna ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me. London Fog. It’s a subway car, and there’s a commuter looking up. There’s a girl with her back to us. She’s wearing one of those short tan ones, but it’s open. Her legs are bare. We know what he’s seeing. Limit your exposure.”
“Good.”
“Help yourself. So, Cosgrove vs Campbell. Is Cooper playing God or Darwin?”
“Lane read about it in some management book?”
“Come in.”
“What?”
“Our stories are straight.”
“Find how much it is to repair and it will come out of your allowance.”
“Then don’t break things.”
“Come here.”
“I will always come home. You’ll always be my girl.”
“I don’t sleep well when I’m not here.”
“Yes.”
“Well, it was the middle of the night and it was raining very hard and I had just come home from work.”
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Well now. I can’t imagine many people were disappointed with how this one went. While last week was about disaster, this week was about break ups, new beginnings, and trying to change what appears unchangeable. The satisfaction Don feels at starting off anew juxtaposed with the end of his marriage.

-Of course Don finds out about McCann buying PPL from Hilton. And while the new agency would seem like an opportunity to get more of Hilton’s business, that doesn’t appear in the cards. We’ll see next year.

-Speaking of next year, what’s your guess on how long down the road the season starts? I bet Sterling Cooper Draper Price will have moved into an office and is more of a viable business. That would mean that we see nothing for the Draper divorce, though.

-Speaking of the Draper divorce, what will Betty’s role be next year? I’ve voiced displeasure with her character before, but I can’t imagine her being completely jettisoned the way Sal was.

-Speaking of Sal, interesting that they threw a bone to all the people who miss him with the momentary trouble of the art department being locked. How many of you thought that’d be his ticket back until Don kicked that door down? Or maybe he really is done on the show. One way to come back could be working for McCann, now that they don’t have Lucky Strike. Kenny and his Haircut and Kinsey will also need to pop up from time to time.

-With Pete and Peggy ostensibly re-energized is that it for Duck? I’m still curious what Peggy sees in him, but her track record with guys is pretty awful, so I suppose she just has bad taste.
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This is one of those episodes with which I don’t know what to do. Since I didn’t write about every episode last year, I can’t really remember if this next statement is true: This season seems very inconsistent. Phenomenal episodes followed by good episodes followed by OK episodes. And I saw this thought on another site last week, but have been thinking it myself. This season has been outside the office more and it’s not a good thing. More Sterling-Cooper please!

-Obviously the big moment in this episode is Betty finding Don’s secret box. Luckily for him, she seemed to be too distracted by his fake divorce to question Dick Whitman’s stuff too closely. I loved when Don called the house the morning of the party and didn’t realize Betty was mad at him… She was raring for a fight and then sort of backed down.

-The teacher is crazy and this is not going to end well. She’s saying all the right things now, about how she doesn’t care about his family. You’ll see. So who called and hung up if not the teacher and not Henry Francis (though I guess Betty called him to let us know he’s not done on the show yet)? I bet it was the teacher.

-”Do you feel bad about what you do?” “Nobody feels as good about what they do as you do.” Teach didn’t mean the question to be anything more than about advertising, unfortunately, but Don still dodged it.

-Last week we had a “Betty” episode, which aren’t that awesome, but if they start focusing episodes on the teacher, I’ll be upset. Taking her brother for a ride was weird. I don’t know if they were telling us that not everyone could be like Don and just make a change in his life (”I’m addlicted.”). The second time this season Don has given all his money to someone younger than him he had just met (though the first was involuntary). The little brother had Don described perfectly when he used the phrase “his plans were interrupted.” If people would just stop screwing with Don’s plans.

-”I swore to myself that I would do this right once.” Don was thinking his brother, Adam, when he said that. Otherwise, I don’t think we know yet what he was talking about.

-Another big reveal is that Sterling-Cooper is for sale, much to the delight of Price’s wife, who has not taken to the US. No clue what this means for next year. Bert Cooper’s a funny character, “Who told you I was vain?”

-”I hate when that happens.” Kinsey and Peggy were surprised that Don had opened up to them about losing good ideas. That expression of fallibility was humane and somewhat out of character. These quick moments, when a throw away line and shrug of the shoulders, reveal more about Don than some half episodes. It’s why we watch, amirite?

Apologies for skimping this week, was out on Sunday night and had to rush this to get some normal amount of sleep.