Unlikely Words » Television

Sally Draper Made Series Regular on Mad Men

aaron cohen — Wed, 26 May 2010 17:55:16 +0000

Via SeattkePI news that Kiernan Shipka, who plays Sally Draper on Mad Men has been made a series regular. Not sure how I feel about her being on more episodes next season.

Last season was really hard for Sally, and next season is going to be even harder. It's really going to be about Sally growing up and reacting to whether her parents get divorced or not.

Via TV Tattle

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Everything Tracy Jordan Said Season 4

aaron cohen — Wed, 26 May 2010 12:27:58 +0000

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Last year, I put together a transcript of Everything Tracy Jordan Said in Season 3 of 30 Rock. You guys liked it and I subsequently put together Everything Hurley Said, Everything Sawyer Said, Everything Locke Said, Everything Don Draper Said, and a the first two seasons of Everything Tracy Jordan Said. Here is Season 4. This season, Tracy Jordan had a few great lines, specifically in Episodes 18 and 21. As always, these are ALL of Tracy Jordan's lines from Season 4. If you're looking for a best of list or this isn't your thing, there's plenty of other internet out there for you. It's going to take a second to get through, so be careful if you have stuff to do today.

Episode 1
-I can't eat this, I'm a foodie.
-Well, before I made it in the stand up, I was a bucket drummer in the subway.
-Oh, yeah? Then how come I got sued for sexual harassment at it?
-You know how on St. Bart's people be eating their lobster like this? Nyoooom, nyoooom, nyoooom, nyoooom.
-Don't look at me in the eyes.
-Have I lost touch with my roots? I better talk to Rabbi Schmuli about this.
-I blame you and Dotcom. You have built a protective shell around me like a hermit crab or a mermaid booby. And now I've touch with the common man. Ehhhh. Who's that?
-Oh, hey, guy. Come on in. So Rolly, where you from?
-Right on, my brother. My dear friend Moby opened up a tea house in Park Slope. Does he know you?
-Hey, Rolly, you ever lose your remote control?
-And then your wife start getting all mad because the roof won't close and the bed that's in the shape of your face is getting rained on? Hahaha. I like you, Rolly. Can I feel the rough skin on your hands?
-What do you mean that was weird? You sheltered me too much! I'm going out on the street and I don't want nobody to follow me. Nobody. Uhmm. Which one is the elevator I'm not afraid of? RIGHT.
-Kenneth, how do I get out of this building?!
-Hello?
-Hello, is anyone there? I'm in a sort of tunnel and I see a man with a blue uniform. I think he's a friend. Oh, never mind, there's a door. Oh, it's sunny!
-Hello, fellow human being. Would you like to ask me what time it is?
-Are you a large child or a small adult?
-You look regular, could I get your name? Is it Pedro? Is it Creckford? Is it Swimming?
-Are you a pre-op transcentaur?
-Excuse me, do you have change for a $10,000 bill?
-I would like some chicken nuggets, a beer, and some of my wife's rice, to stay.
-Excuse me, sir, do you want to hold hands with a black millionaire?
-Does anyone want to be my friend?
-I'm normal!
-It's going super great, Dotcom. Meet my new friends, Nobody. And his wife Susan Walters Hyphen Nobody. I'm so far from my roots, I don't think I'll ever get back.
-What's that sound? Bucket drummers!
-These. These are my people. Bucket drummers, if you're striking, so am I. Two-four-six-eight-ten-twelve-fourteen-sixteen-eighteen.
-New what? If it's a blonde woman, I'm a kill myself!

Episode 2
-Liz Lemon, you booger face. I'm going to kill you with a bazooka.
-I bought my wife that dumb book of yours and the more Angie reads it, the madder she gets at me.
-No, it's off me. A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber factory. It's on you, Liz Lemon, and you will be punished.
-Congratulations, Liz Lemon, now Angie wants a break. So instead of going to a hotel or my hotel, which I can not find, I'm staying with the woman that started this problem in the first place.
-Oh, yeah. There's a garbage bag in the hallway with a reef shark in it. Just put him in the tub with a reef. What's for dinner tonight? I want pierogies.
-Tracy and Liz's residence. Tracy speaking.
-It's Jenna, from work.
-Too soon.
-What's wrong, roomie?
-Hahahah.
-Hahahah
-Hahahaha
-Hahahah.
-Tracy and Liz's. Tracy speaking
-Now that we're all up, do you want to talk about the elephant in the room?
-I mean the figurative elephant. Liz, I been reading your book. Now I see why Angie's mad at me. 'If your man has seven cell phones, but won't give you any of the numbers, that's a deal breaker. If your man has a diamond necklace that says, 'Open Marriage', that's a deal breaker.' Liz Lemon. Every little thing I've done is in here. You used me to write your book!
-You stole my life, and you're gonna pay for it.
-I'll take all of them.
-She doesn't like to refill the Brita.
-And I will take the top half, for that is the half with the face.
-Something humiliating.
-Thank you, Jack.
-I'm willing to go splittsies.
-That's a pun on Amadeus, dummy. I will not be judged by you. You caused this whole Pharaoh. Until you are adequately debased, you will subsidize my predilection for erotica. And, oh yeah, I used your credit card to buy an vocabulary course from the teaching company.
-Affirmative.
-Everyone settle. And action!
-And cut! This is disgusting. Shut it down.

Episode 3
-I will eat a bowl of cherries and some ghost meat in his honor.
-Orange and black decorations. Is this Halloween or Princeton Parent's Weekend? I don't know whether to be scared or proud of my cousin.
-Proud it is.
-He's in Cabo?
-What do you mean?
-Yeah, right. That's not a real thing.
-This is gonna be the scariest Princeton Parent's Weekend ever!
-Jack, you have to help me. I'm gonna die any minute.
-Celebrities, they always die in groups of three. Two already died and I might be the next to go.
-I gotta go somewhere where nothing will happen to me. Can you get me on Charlie Rose?
-Keep refreshing, maybe Andy Dick has died in the last 20 seconds.
-No, I have to take matters into my own hands. Boo!
-Hey, Betty. It's TJ.
-So how you feeling? Any arm pain, shortness of breath, plans to investigate corruption in Russia.
-Umm, no.
-You look clean. You a celebrity?
-No, celebrity.
-Perfect, I'll show you the shortcut.
-Yes, Queen Latifah's friend. I'm sure.
-I'm sorry, Ken, but I want to live.
-Ahhhh.
-I can't. I don't wanna die.
-What's wrong, Ken? That hatchet isn't real, is it?
-That's three! Tell my wife I went to Philadelphia on business! Yeah ha!

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Episode 4
-Jennifer M. Why are you so worked up?
-Nothing's gonna change. They're gonna hire some skinny white guy. How is that a threat? You'll do your lady characters and I'll get on stage and people will laugh even when I forget my, um, my…line?
-Lines.
-Oh, yeah, I forgot, Dotcom, you know everything about acting because you played a bird in some stupid school play, hahahahaha. Hahahah.
-Where?
-He's Evil Tracy? Oh, he's evil comma Tracy. Go on.
-Dotcom? Oh no. I once saw that guy BECOME Trigorin at the Wesleyan Art Space. That guy is good. I can't compete with him.
-OK, let's go.
-I repeat. All funny gays into the car.
-We need the funniest fool to step forward.
-That'll work.
-And this is a reimbursement form for my gas. I drove a million miles.
-Paranoia! Where?
-Was describing your sandwich necessary to our understanding of what happened?
-Tell me more.
-And that freaks people out, huh? This is a learning and friendship adventure.
-Hey, Dotcom. Nice to meet you.
-Who, Brian Williams?
-My two cents, I liked the janitor.

Episode 5
-Hey, Jackie D. I hope the new dude isn't hard to work with like some people I know.
-Liz Lemon, you are blowing up like a balloon with a grenade in it.
-When I first got big, I made bad business decisions, too. Which is how I stuck having to plug Wade Boggs Carpet World 5 times whenever I appear on screen.
-Wade Boggs Carpet World. Wade Boggs Carpet World. Wade Boggs Carpet World.
-He knows your special like a black stripper with blue eyes. You have to test the marketplace.
-And one last piece of advice, Liz Lemon, from someone who has been on this side of the business for a long time. Wade Boggs Carpet World.
-From now on, I shall call us the Problem Solvers.
-Yo, Ken, do you have a problem that needs solving?
-Always have been, always will be.
-It's not about the room, Danny. It's about the man. Any room around here you see with a door, you make it your bathroom.
-Ken, you don't want to be a page forever.
-What? No, I mean, what's your dream job? Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
-So, someday you could be my boss.
-No, I'll brush my own teeth. Now I don't want you to have any resentments towards me. From now on, I don't want you to do anything for me.
-Hey, Jackie D. What's wrong? You're not your usual giggly self.
-Just to be safe, let's do both.
-You're not really capturing the sexual energy of it, but that was the message.
-Well, I could introduce you to my boy, Scotty Shofar.
-Hell, yeah. I'm a frequent guest of sports shouting.
-Ahhhhhhhhh.
-Nah, introducing you to Scotty probably wouldn't solve your problems with Jack.
-I don't know, all white people look the same to me, Pete.
-That's what Danny was saying. We have to be cool to everybody. Because the future is like a Japanese game show. You have no idea what's going on.
-That was abooot the coolest thing I've ever seen.
-Nine hours.
-He knows what I want before I do.
-I wanted waffles.
-Yayyyyyyy.
-Do you have a problem? Then call the Problem Solvers.
-Taxes got you down? Wasps in your crawl space?
-Call the Problem Solvers.
-Because after all, what's a problem but an opportunity disguised as a stripper having a seizure on your boat?
-Mouse in your house?
-We are the Problem…Solvers.
-That was a good rehearsal, now let's record it. And we're rolling.

Episode 6
-It's take your black kid to work day.
-Every day. I thought having a family was going to be like the Cosby Show. 'Oh, no, Vanessa went to a concert. Oh, no, Rudy and I are making a sandwich for 25 minutes.' The Cosby Show was a lie. Having a family can be the worst. For example, I have a strip club story from this weekend I need to tell you, Jackie D. It is disgusting. But I can't because I got this little D-Bag here.
-And yet, you won't tell me.
-Woah, woah, woah, woah. I mean, that's a big decision. Having a family is also the best thing a man can…He's gone. So my story. So I'm in the strip club with Charles Barkley and one of the hobbits…Damn it, I can't live like this. I'm getting a vasectomy, too!
-The Cosby Show lied to me.
-Trying to get someone to move out? May I suggest what got my neighbors to move out? Black person moved in, scared them off.
-I gotta lot of good ideas. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to take my son to my vasectomy because the Cosby Show lied to me and I cannot tell an amazing strip club story.
-Sure, I know how to do that. You lied to me, Bill Cosby, you lied to me. Uh, oh. Here comes my hallucination.
-Denise, Vanessa, Sandra the boring one? It's your father, I'm having a Cosby Show hallucination.
-Theo, what's going on here? Did Rudy make a mess with the juicer again? Vanessa was supposed to be watching her and not upstairs gossiping on the phone.
-Your adorable sister and your sister.
-That's why my life is not like the Cosby Show. I only have boys and boys are disgusting. I need a baby girl. Don't patronize me. Stop laughing, it's not funny. I need a baby girl. Don't snip my vas deferens.
-Wake up, Tracy. Wake up. I don’t want a vasectomy Dr. Spaceman. I need to go back in time. Why did I sell my Delorean to Mr. T?
-Jackie D, I need a baby girl!
-What made you change your mind?
-Well, I hope he makes me an across helmet so I don't get hurt playing across. Now, come on, that's pretty solid for a guy who just came out of a hallucination.
-Frank, I'm gonna have a daughter, and I would never tell that story. It's demeaning to women. Especially if they've had their boobies sneezed on by a tiger.

Episode 7
-Uh, Liz Lemon. I need to talk to you.
-Come over here and check out my corner. No trap.
-Come over here, I said, in my normal tone of voice.
-Liz Lemon, recently I realized that I have a hole in my heart and not the one I got from eating batteries. It's because I don't have a daughter.
-I want a baby girl, Liz Lemon. I mean having a daughter is like going to the NBA All Star weekend. It changes you. Makes you want to take your wife to the doctor.
-I'm glad you feel that way because Angie's on her way up and I want you to tell her for me.
-Oh, yes you are. Click.
-I said click to distract you from the sound of the hand cuffs.
-You did good.
-What are you implying? I'm a very attentive father.
-There was a better kid's birthday party up the street.
-Your hair did? You just got your hair did. You have to get your hair did again?
-Racist!
-You know what? Keep your hair appointment. I'll do the Christmas shopping to prove to you I can be reliable and that I can finish everything that I…
-I need a special gift for my wife. Something that says, "I'm responsible." Something simple. Classy.
-Yes, perfect. What's that? I want it. I forgot why I originally came in here.
-Sure, I know him from the secret black people meetings. Nah, I'm just kidding. He's not invited. But who's an EGOT?
-That's a good goal for a talented crazy person. Nah, that was earlier. I want this.
-Marco!
-Marco!
-No need, I got something better than presents for you and the kids. I got us all this EGOT necklace for me.
-It's not dumb, it's smart. This necklace is a life goal. I'm going to win me an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony.
-I am gonna EGOT. For us, for the family and especially for little Chewbaquina Jordan.
-Great. I'll be in touch. You still use your Hotmail account?
-I'd first like to thank my creative team for coming here on such short notice and I'm sorry I'm four hours late. Dotcom, research update.
-That's good raw data, now turn it over to Griz for analysis.
-Kenneth, synthesize Griz' analysis.
-And then a Broadway play based on that movie. This is how I'm gonna get my baby girl. All I have to do is create the most popular song of all time!
-I started already!
-People. Love song. About love and cars. I've started already. Stop, stop. It's all wrong. How could five of the most popular musical styles all played at once sound so bad?
-Oh, yeah, Ken? What do you know about the pressures of EGOTing? I need to speak to someone who's been there. A fellow EGOTer.
-Is it me or is Liz Lemon getting hotter?
-I gotta EGOT, Whoopi. See I made this deal with my wife. If I don't EGOT, then I can't have another kid.
-You created the super-majority?
-I don't get it. Why is it so hard? I paid all these people to create the most popular song in the world for me.
-Wait, is that a Day Time Emmy?
-That's good advice, Whoopi.
-Say, could I have a glass of water before I leave?
-Thank you.
-Baby girl, you're the missing piece. The perfect fit. Baby girl. You're the product of doing it.
-Uhhh, wait. If you really want a baby, I'll give you my gift, but I must warn you, I won't be around a lot. Cause I'm EGOTing.
-I know, we're lucky people laugh when I say stuff.

Episode 8
-What's with all the junk, Ken?
-OK.
-Dig.
-Gonna let that one slide.
-Verdukianism? That doesn't make sense. Jimmy is Catholic.
-So you guys are Verdukians?
-Mmmhmm. Then sing that Verdukian winter carol. The famous one.
-What the what? New dude is as good at signing as Tracy Jordan is at everything.
-What's up, special K, having a party?
-Your generosity is being taken advantage of.
-Verdukianism, it's fake. Those dudes made it up because they didn't want to do Secret Santa.
-That's what religion is, KFed. Just a bunch of made up rules to manipulate people. Why don't Catholics eat meat on Fridays? I tell you why. Because the Pope owns Long John Silver's.
-Oh, Ken. We may have fallen into the intellectual deep end here and if you try to grab on to me, we'll both drown.
-OK. Time to go.
-Something you want to say?

Episode 9
-Finally! Over the break I forgot which floor I worked on.
-Six! I knew it was a character from Blossom, but I couldn't find the Joey Russo button.
-I had a pretty amazing New Year's, too. My wife and I are trying for a daughter and on New Year's Eve I think I got Angie pregnant.
-OK, but I was gonna describe it real good.
-I did it. Angie just called, she's pregnant.
-Yes, and it gets better. I just had a burrito.
-I know it's a girl, Liz Lemon, because I yelled Susan B. Anthony at the moment of conception.
-We're gonna name her after the place that she was conceived. It was a pretty wild night, so we're either gonna name her, Virginia, NetJet, or Bathroom at Teeterboro Airport.
-Hey, baby. You knew here?
-Uh, huh. And before you worked here, where you an ass scientist? Because your ass blah, blah, blah, you get the point. So what's your name?
-Virginia? But that's gonna be my daughter's name. Are you also someone's daughter?
-Is every woman someone's daughter?
-Uh, oh!
-I blame you three for my unhealthy attitude towards women! You have created an atmosphere of hostility and intolerance that everyone talks about all the time. Griz. When was the last time you told your fiancé you loved her –Since the phone call I interrupted to make this announcement. Kenneth, your haircut is disrespectful to lesbians. Dotcom, do you EVER read books by women?
-Enough! I've made a decision and starting next week, I'm adding a woman to the entourage.

Episode 10
-Hey, Kenneth. Why aren't your teeth growing in the black light?
-Sue, you're probably wondering why we asked you to join the entourage. Well, over the years, I've had a complicated relationship with women. From my treatment of the dancers here to my remarks about Madeline Albright at the 1996 White House Correspondents' Dinner.
-What? It's true. She does look like one of those.
-That's why I'm adding a daughter to the entourage family. Now what's on the schedule for today?
-I think I'm going to go ahead and cancel that.
-A hang on. No! I don't think we should go to a strip club. It just doesn't feel right. I think we should let the new member choose an activity.
-I said we're not going to a strip club.
-Why don't you understand? I don't want to take you to a strip club.
-Hey hey, watch your mouth, she's only 34 years-old.
-K. What's wrong with me? First I don't want to go to strip clubs and then I get angry at the hilarious dude that says something awesome.
-But I'm not like that with my sons. When they were little, I threw them in the deep end of our pool. To help them get over their fear of sharks.
-Thank God, because the doctors keep telling me it's pretty clogged!
-Ah, where are you going? It's board game night.
-Out? With whom?
-Well, does Doug have a last name?
-You are part of this entourage.
-Look, I know you didn't mean that.
-There you are. You know Kenneth and I were worried sick about you?
-That's not important anymore. I want to talk to you about our fight the other night. Look. Having a girl in your life is different. You want to protect her. And the best that you can hope for is that some day a nice man will come and take her from you. That's it.
-Here he is now. I knew this day would come, I just didn't think it would be so soon. You take good care of her.
-I don't know if I can go through this with a real daughter.
-No, I wouldn't. Not for a billion doll hairs.
-Yeah. They're not worth nothing. You could probably sell them to a doll company and get maybe forty grand for them.

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Episode 11
-Liz Lemon, I can't go to Boston.
-You don't understand. I get in trouble on the road.
-Thank you. Thank you. It's great to be here, Cleveland.
-I suck? The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame sucks.
-Hello!
-The road is a mine field, LL. All those angry drunks and new temptations.
-That stupid, Irish piece of… Oh, boy. Boston is not gonna go well.
-Now what am I supposed to do? I got free time in a strange city.
-Puuurrrrfect like a cat birthday. How could I possibly get in trouble on a walking tour.
-You lying white devil. The only people you set free were rich white dudes like yourself.
-We ain't… No! Most dudes that signed that Declaration of Independence owned slaves. What about you, John Hancock?
-For the dude that has the most hilarious last name I ever heard you blow. We didn't land on Plymouth Rock. Plymouth Rock landed on Mars.
-Sure, find a scapegoat. Just like John Hancock did with the good King George.
-Boston was just the match that lit the powder keg, like the tragic events at Lexington and Concord.
-Sounds like one of King George's hated tax collectors.
-Don't listen to him. We fell for his lies 300 hundred years ago. Don't let this slave owning time traveler fool us again!
-Then patriots are overrated.
-I said they suck. Uh oh. Here come the punches. This was all Snitterman's fault.
-Uh, huh. And where did you two meet?
-Really? So five years AFTER Crispus Attucks was killed in the Boston Massacre?

Episode 12
-OK, push. Push, Liz Lemon!
-Congratulations, it's Meat Cat!
-I'm sorry. Would you like to stay at my guest house?
-Oh, I'm not offering, I'm just taking a survey to gauge general interest. But Liz here has a spare apartment. Ain't that right, Liz?
-Oh, woah, woah.
-You're sleepwalking, Liz. It's a little understood parasomnia disorder.
-OK, I don't mean to be the black guy at the movies, but, "You better move, girl!"
-This just got awesome.
-This is the worst thing I've ever seen.

Episode 13
-It's a real problem in the celebrity community, but if Beyonce simply answered one of my letters, I'd stop trying to break into her house.
-Can't do it, Lee Lem. On Valentine's Day, Angie and I rent a room with a heart shaped hot tub and cook chili in it. Then we take it to soup kitchen and that's when it starts to get sexy!
-I'm Tike Myson, baby boxer. I'm crazy like that. Googoo googoo.

Episode 14
-[Cough, cough, cough, cough], I think we got it.
-Excuse me, do you know who you're talking to? A future Tony nominated actor. That's right. It is Tony eligibility season. And I'm going for the T in my EGOT.
-I'm doing a one man show.
-Tonight!
-What am I? A nerd? I'm gonna keep it loose, Liz Lemon.
-I did it. I'm a Broadway star! Jenna, could you accept my Tony on my behalf? June is a tough month for me because I begin lifeguarding again,
-5 hours.
-I don't know, people seemed to like it.
-Wait, the same show?
-But I can't do that, I'm a spontaneous actor. I never do the same thing twice.
-Honey, I'm home. Pac Man, I'm Jewish. Jeffrey, we lost the tournament. I can't do 7 more performances.
-Do they give an award for tarantula misplacement?
-Got it, no farting.
-After me.
-No, Tracy.
-No, stop it-Uh, we gotta start over. I farted.
-To sit in darkness in a sharp sharp sharp. In darkness in sitting in the sharp. This is stupid.
-Well, maybe we're just gonna have to agree to disagree on the acting process.
-I don't know, when I'm acting, I just do me and people seem to love it.
-Your performance.
-Karsfeld, Ruben M. Klavec, Yuri. Klassen, Igor. Klesterin, Robert. Klasco, Harold. Kluber, Tatiana.
-Bordnay, Lorenzo. Chinlow, Martin. Broadman. Gil. Takakahamo, Jessica. Themopoulis, Dororthy. Lippowitz, Lauren.

Episode 15
-Yeah, I'm supposed to be drinking a soda right now.
-That's the craziest thing I ever heard, Episcopal.
-I wish. Our old nanny wrote a tell all book about me.
-It's bad. I just got the call from a friend at Little Brown.
-No! The premier talent agency for black dwarves.
-Everything. My addiction to prescription glasses. The fact that I suffer from attention deficit disor-Jack your shoes are shiny! And worse of all, she revealed the fact that I've never cheated on my wife.
-That's all for show. I love my wife and only her.
-My wild and sexually adventurous image is how I make my money, Liz Lemon. I start losing my endorsements, Angie's gonna be madder than a bat in a suitcase. Uh oh, which reminds me. Gordon? Gordon?
-But, Frank, I still party. I'm still terrible at my job.
-I did, J-Mo, I held a press conference this morning.
-I'm here to announce that I'm leaving show business to spend more time with my stripper.
-But it's like a black Barbie Doll in Arizona, nobody's buying it.
-But John Edwards and I were supposed to ride on their Cinco de Mayo float.
-It's gotten worse. Somebody leaked my voicemails.
-Hey, baby, it's your husband. So I'm at Bed Bath & Beyond and I can't remember, did you say to get metal or wood shower curtain rings? Oh, you're calling me on the other line. I can't wait to talk to you. I love you.
-She says I better have an affair and quick before it tears are family apart.
-That's the problem, who's desperate enough to have sex with me at this point?
-Hello, Elizabeth, may I offer you a succulent fruit?
-Let me do a dance for you, my lover. No, no this is wrong. I can't have sex with you, Liz Lemon. I love Angie too much.
-I'm sorry, LL. I know how much you wanted this to happen. I'm disappointed in me, too. If I can't have an affair, Tracy Jordan is finished.
-I am lucky. Thanks, Liz Lemon.
-And you know what? One day you will have what I have because you're an amazing, strong, and talented woman, like Hilary. From Fresh Prince of Belair.
-I'm sorry, I was still riding the vibe from earlier.

Episode 16
-Oh huh, good morning.
-Lemoroni, something horrible happened to me last night. I had a dream that Kenneth and I got intimate in a portable Jacuzzi. It was crazy, glistening black and white skin. It looked like a close up of a killer whale being born.
-Just like this amazing city that we live in.
-Nooooooooo!
-Nooooooooo!
-I had another freaky Kenmare.
-Nooooooooo! Oh Oh Oh.
-Me, too. But how do we know this isn't a dream? Wait a minute, all my teeth are loose, so we're good. It's true.
-What kind a sick mind dreams that?
-Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
-We have to Elm Street this. We have to go to sleep and kill Kenneth in our dreams.
-This is a dream. You're in control.
-It's working, we've joined forces in our dreamscape, now we fly.
-Controlling our dreams?
-It worked!
-And we are never, never taking you for granted again. In fact, we'd like to sing you a thank you song.

Episode 17
-Not now, Jackie D, I heard on the walkie talkies that there's a red headed milf walking around with some executive.
-It's an 18th Century word for dark-skinned Moor. I've learned the word 'black' in every language, just so I know when to be offended. Russian tcherny, Korean hooking, dolphin eeee eeee eee eeee.
-Nah uh, I'm telling you, Dotcom, old school racism is back.
-Barry Obams is the one who brought it back.
-Hey, something's going on. You know what I seen last night? A Sloven Shield commercial with a black burglar.
-Oh, yeah, it's back on. Get ready, son. All you've ever known is your affirmative action job and Queen Latifah Covergirl commercials.
-That is a 15th Century term for a black pirate. Racist!
-Oh, yeah, just ask the black guy because we all know each other. Pete, could you tell a bald eagle to stop scaring me at zoos?
-You know, I been wanting to say this for a few seconds now. This work place has become a hotbed of old school racism.
-Oh, yeah? Then how come I'm always forced to play redikorus characters that don nununciate well?
-Nah, you can play it off, but I know that you're all secretly mad that we finally have a black Disney princess.
-Of course not, the Aryan hates and fears the African man. As we so clearly saw in the Blade movies.
-Splcok, short for black Spock.

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Episode 18
-Yeah, Thursday Night Thunder. That's been going on for years.
-Well, I yelled Baba Booey at Walter Cronkite's funeral, so I actually have no idea of what's rude or not.
-But I couldn't Thunder last night because I had to take Angie to the ER. She had some complications with her pregnancy, so that kind of trumps your little problem?
-Well, she's fine and the baby's fine, but they put her on bed rest until her blood pressure goes down.
-There is one thing. Could you take care of Angie like a husband until this whole ass ache blows over?
-What about you, K?
-This better be important, I'm in a meeting.
-Great update, Ken. Thanks for checking in. Talk to you later.
-What, but why? You're much better at that serving stuff than I am.
-To be honest, I couldn't really understand anything Rick James was saying.
-Fine, I'll be there soon. And if you get hungry, you can help yourself to anything in the fridge and once I'm there I'll figure determine how much to charge you.
-Hey, Ken. Isn't that a fun place to stand? Oh, I forgot to warn you about my dog, Tracy, Sr. I trained him to hate white people because, not to profile, but most ghosts are white. This is my boy here. And look what Angie did to him. She set up an invisible fence. He gets shocked if he tries to leave the property. Just because he'd run away and cause car accidents and impregnate neighbors horses, he's trapped here just like me.
-I'm trying, Ken, and I want to be responsible, but I been me for a long time.
-No, we're not supposed to do any sex stuff while she's on bed rest.
-Oh, like a real one! I'm on it.
-Maybe this will get Angie to stop calling me irresponsible. Just stay focused and take this sandwich to my wife.
-Nope. I'm in a strip club, my bad!
-Ken, why did you let me go to a strip club?
-This is bad because I can't change. I'm like a chameleon, always a lizard.
-This better be a meeting, cause I'm important!
-I can't, LL. First of all the Secret Service never gave me back my T Shirt canon. And second of all, I gotta stay home and take care of Angie.
-People don't say that anymore. They say Surf Party USA.
-Look, Liz Lemon, I know your feelings are hurt, but parties are like Frisbees. If you throw them the wrong way, they'll veer off in a bad direction and then your kid will fall into a quarry.
-Don't throw a party for vengeance. It will turn on you. Like your wife, after your kid has fallen into a quarry.
-I don't know what to do. A party's in trouble and I'm the only one that can save it.
-I'm torn, K-Pax. I know I should be here, but my body's going to take me to Liz Lemon's. What do I do?
-Put the electric dog collar on me.
-Man, Tracy, Sr took of fast. He did not want to live here.
-You're gonna pour glue in the lock. That's how my kids keep me out of the liquor cabinet.
-No, Ken, there's something else you have to do, for all of us. Unfortunately, there's only one Tracy Jordan, but sometimes he's needed in two places. You're Tracy Jordan now. Go. Go save that party.
-Wait, I don't walk that well.
-This better be Meat Men, I'm importing.
-Hey, Ken.
-Oh my God.
-Oh my God, I just didn't want to go outside, it's chilly.
-No, this is something I have to do myself.
-Yes, he probably picked up your scent and he's hunting you. I suggest you cut off a finger and throw it in the river.
-Huh, maybe this doesn't work on people. Ahhhh. Ahhhh. Ahhhh. My neck. My swan like neck. Ahhh. Must fight through it. Also, must weed lawn.
-I made it. I'm on the other side. I'm free. I can go anywhere I want. Like Liz's party. Or one of those place where you sky dive over a huge fan.
-Hmm. Maybe it doesn't work on people anymore. Ahhhh. It still does. Ahhhh.
-Oh, God. If you deliver me from this, I promise every Sunday, I'll go to, huh? I'm through it. Pizza Hut. I'll go to Pizza Hut. Ha!

Episode 19
-Before we rehearse, I have an announcement to make. Our boy Griz is getting married on May 22.
-So I thought Griz would like to take this time to announce who's going to be his best man.
-Um, I haven't decided yet. You sound like my mother talking to the Planned Parenthood lady. Seriously, which one of your rich and famous friends with hepatitis B are you going to pick?
-Let's not do this in front of everybody, you sound like my mother being booed onstage at a 2 Live Crew concert.
-Damn, my mother had problems.
-Of course, you guys are very close. Continue.
-Really? I'd be awesome at that.
-But who's gonna tell U2?
-No, you two idiots. I see what you're trying to do. You're trying to manipulate me into not being the best man. And, damn it, Griz, I've known you since you were 6 feet tall. I'm gonna be your best man. I am the leader of this entourage and because of you, I'm having a tantrum. Now pick up that table and smash it for me.
-That's fair. I know that!
-Woah, you watch your mouth before I show you the back of my hand.
-Liz Lemon, I don't even want to be best man. Why would I? Show up on time? Not lose a ring? Keep my shirt on though a dinner?
-Because I'm trying to protect Dotcom, dummy. He's in love with Griz' fiancé, Fyonce.
-No, Griz' fiancé is name Fyonce, like Beyonce with an F.
-Listen, we cannot make Dotcom get up there and give a speech at that wedding. It'd kill him.
-You think that's impressive. Watch me stand on one foot. Hold on, I did it earlier.
-No, you do.
-Bored.
-So you're?

Episode 20
-I gave Kenneth her information.
-OK, but whoever she is needs to be someone as amazing as I am. I want to see a list of names. Like when they was looking for John McCain's running mate. Hahaha. I'm kidding, this needs to be taken seriously.
-Novella Nelson. Oh, wait, is she Aquaman's girlfriend?
-That could be anyone. We all look the same to me. Is she famous?
-What about the list I gave you? Phylicia Rashard? Serena Williams?
-Who cares, she's awesome and so am I. I want Serena Williams to be my mother.
-Like anyone would recognize you anyway.
-You are way beneath me, Novella. I am a movie star, a television actor, and the Guinness Book of World Records holder for most car accidents in a single year.
-Fine. I'd rather be up on that stage all alone than be up there with someone whose resume has black judge on it 9 times.
-I saved a lot of kids from lame sex.
-I hear you. Because you're talking in the ear that I didn't lose a button in.
-Boy, I though I had it bad with my fake mom.
-Yeah, it's true and she is a good actress. I bought those Pajammaralls.
-No, Jenna. No one gets to choose their mom. Even when they're fake. For good or bad, we're stuck with them. And you know, they don't get to choose who we are either. And God knows we're not perfect.
-You look beautiful, mom.
-I think I'm ready for the sex talk.
-That's our show. Thanks for watching.
-Goodnight, stay tuned for a special Mother's Day edition of Bitch Hunter.

Episode 21
-Entourage meeting. I know which movie I'm doing this summer.
-It's a pun, because cats paws have grooves.
-It's perfect. I'm playing Garfield. My whole part is being shot on green screen in 3 days and they're paying me exactly 1 million teacher salaries.
-What's this?
-Interesting. And I've gotta win an Oscar somehow. It's either this or I submit that animated film I drew about the Holocaust.
-I read the script.
-I hated it. I couldn't relate.
-I don't remember that kind of stuff. I mean, I remember being born, of course. I remember learning how to ride a bike, but that was last year. From '75 to '82 is just a blur.
-No, I don't. I was on a yacht with the Roots last week, dude.
-What are we doing here? You told me we were going someplace boring. This is an awesome copy shop!
-That's where I grew up.
-My God, nothing's changed at all.
-Why do I recognize that stairwell?
-It's all coming back to, oh my God. I slept on an old dog bed stuffed with wigs! I watched a prostitute stab a clown! Our basketball hoop was a ribcage! A ribcage.
-Why did you bring me here? I blocked all this stuff out for a reason. Oh, Lord. Some guy with dreads electrocuted my fish!
-I hate pain! I'm doing Garfield 3, and as soon as I make some copies of my passport, I'm never coming back here. Move.
-Nermal. I hate you, Nermal. Almost as much as I hate Mondays. This is my lasagna. You hear me Nermal? My lasagna.
-Well I'm sorry Sean, and child actor whose name I can't remember. You haven't walked in my shoes! All my life I've tried to forget the things I've seen. a crackhead breast-feeding a rat A homeless man cooking a Hot Pocket on a third rail of the G train! The G train, Nermal! There's something inside of me that needs to come out. And if Garfield 3: Feline Groovy can't tell my story. Then I'll win my Oscar elsewhere or I'll die trying.
-I've seen a blind guy bite a police horse! A puppy committed suicide after he saw our bathroom! I once bit into a burrito and there was a child's shoe in it! I've seen a hooker eat a tire! A pack of wild dogs took over and successfully ran a Wendy's! The sewer people stole my skateboard! The projects I lived in were named after Zachary Taylor, generally considered to be one of the worst presidents of all time! I once saw a baby give another baby a tattoo! They were very drunk!

Episode 22
-California, no way, Ken. You gotta tank this promotion. Do a sloppy job and they'll leave you alone. That's how I got out of doing foreplay with Angie. And my taxes.
-If you've learned anything from me, it's how to do a bad job. Go, honor me, save yourself. But first get me a sandwich.
-That's my boy.
-On behalf of Griz and Fyonce, I like to thank Jack Donaghy for letting us have this reception here after the other location couldn't support the weight of Griz' extended family.
-Now, hit it!
-Hey, this ain't the place for-.

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Somewhat related:
Everything Hurley Said
Everything Sawyer Said
Everything Locke Said
Everything Don Draper Said
Everything Tracy Jordan Said

###

Possibly related posts:

Alec Baldwin Profile

aaron cohen — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:25:47 +0000

James Wolcott profiles Alec Baldwin. It's a good read, but nothing new, though I'm interested because Baldwin's career is so interesting. He's absolutely killing TV right now on 30 Rock, after killing Saturday Night Live all those years. He's been great in a couple good movies (as Wolcott notes), but doesn't have a big role in an important movie. How will we think about him in 20 years?

Oh, by the way, he's talking about retiring after 30 Rock...

So perhaps the smoke signals he’s sending up about retiring aren’t a bluff. But I can’t help but think that if he gets the chance to work with Meryl Streep again he won’t say no. That would be like turning down dessert, and he’s a cat who can’t resist cream.

Episode 1
"Yeah, I eat a lot of apples."
"What's the number?"
"Dead, both."
"My dad was 41, 42, he died in an accident. My mother died in childbirth. She was 22, I think."
"Everything? Depends on the day."
"3."
"5."
"Yes."
"What do you mean?"
"How do you feel?"
"Nope, no, I've been good."
"How is it?"
"Makes you feel better about sitting in a bar at lunch. Makes you feel like you're getting something done."
"Is it good?"
"Any calls?"
"Of course."
"What do we have?"
"I can almost picture it."
"So it's about an airline that's flown by Indians. Maybe a plane with some arrows stuck in the cargo door? That's funny. That's what gets people attention now, right? There has to be advertising for people who don't have a sense of humor."
"What else you got?"
"Stop writing for other writers."
"What's outside that window?"
"I get on a plane, I don't care where I'm going, I just want to see the city disappearing behind me."
"That Indian, that's not about the majestic beauty of the Mohawk nation. It's about adventure. Could be a pirate. Could be a knight in shining armor. Could be a conquistador getting off a boat. It's about a fantastical people who are taking you someplace you've never been. Blah, blah, blah, blah."
"You want to get on a plane to feel alive. You want to get on a place to see just the hint of a woman's thigh because her skirt is just this much too short."
"So I guess I'm helping both of us."
"For what purpose?"
"Well, young campaigns don't necessarily come from young people."
"So what am I supposed to do, dangle a Pepsi out the window and see if I can hook a stroller?"
"This sounds like accounts to me."
"You want younger people than that?"
"Tell Duck, clients don't understand. Their success is related to standing out, not fitting in. It's a fad. Paint them a picture, uh, something like one wants to be the needle in the haystack, not a haystack."
"You're talking as if they're some fresh version of us. They're not. Young people don't know anything, especially that they're young."
"I know."
"Don't worry, we will be out of here before the singer starts."
"I don't think we have, Bets, Don Draper."
"Pleasure."
"I do."
"I don't think it's permanent."
"She's a party girl, Bets."
"Really."
"How stupid do you think I am?"
"How does room service sound?"
"Wow."
"Hold on."
"Hello, yes, this is Mr. Draper in room 804. Yes, can you send up some vishiswas and a BLT on white toast…"
"Scratch that, 2 shrimp cocktails."
"So, I have a lot of thoughts. How old are you?"
"Right, you're experienced, I got it. Are you married?"
"So, again, you both did everything together and yet you get paid more?"
"But, you contribute words?"
"I'm gonna ask you a question that was always asked of me when I was on job interviews."
"Have you ever been fired?"
"Book's good. By the way it has Julian Koenig's fingerprints all over it."
"Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Smith."
"That must happen all the time. You two share an office?"
"Of course not."
"Good. So now that I've given you your babies and Xerox machine, should I throw in a couple of elephants? I don’t want there to be any excuses when you can't bring in Martinson's Coffee."
"Send them in."
"Where are we?"
"Are you gonna underline the 'you'? For half the people it will be 'where are you going'?"
"Where the hell is Dale?"
"I don't know, sure, it's fine. It's obvious, I'm uninvolved."
"What about that?"
"No, she's right. Just because it has sentiment doesn't make it sentimental. We're talking about businessmen."
"Says who? Just so you know, the people who talk that way think that monkeys can do this. And they take all this monkey crap and just stick it in a briefcase completely aware that their success depends on something more than their shoeshine. You are the product. You feeling something. That's what sells. Not them. Not sex. They can't do what we do. And they hate us for it."
"Is that a question?"
"You can put that in your book."
"Take your hat off."
"Hey, Carla. Hey, BD."
"I am tired. Where's Mrs. Draper."
"Want a ride to the station?"
"Goodnight."
"Here, give it to me."
"I'm here, too."
"Hi. Bobby conked out, where were you?"
"Well, I was here."
"I did."
"Come on, show me what you learned in ballet."
""Now I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful again. And interesting and modern. The country is gray and brown and white and trees. Snows and skies of laughter always diminishing. Less funny, not just darker, not just gray. It may be the coldest day of the year, what does he think of that? I mean, what do I? And if I do, perhaps I am myself again.""

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Episode 2
"Traffic makes the parade look bigger."
"Colonel Glenn."
"I think he's a winner. Square jaw, false modesty, it looks like he just took off his letterman jacket."
"Turn it off. Pull all Mohawk ROP and anything in production, stop it."
"We don't want people opening up their morning paper and seeing a Mohawk ad next to a picture of a floating engine. The rest of you, stop crying, and figure out how we're going to hit the ground running in 3 weeks with new work."
"What's going on?"
"What?"
"Oh. God, I'm sorry to hear that."
"What people do. Go home."
"I don't know. I suppose."
"You just had a shock. I wouldn't worry about what you're feeling. Go home and be with your family."
"Because that's what people do."
"Yes."
"Yes."
"You should go home."
"I'll cancel it. It's not hurting anything."
"There's life and there's work."
"I spoke with Hank LaMotte over at Mohawk."
"He says they can weather it out. I always get the feeling that man opens his front door and money comes in."
"He picked up the phone? What's going on over there?"
"What does that mean?"
"What's it been four, three hours since the plane went down? You'll have to forgive me for not looking at a bunch of bodies in Jamaica Bay and not seeing the opportunity."
"We already have an airline."
"Oh, that's right, we have the one whose planes didn't just fall out of the sky."
"Am I missing something? Did you sign American during this phone call?"
"Oh a foothold, well, I'd do anything for a foothold."
"We have a good client who trusts us, who likes our work, who pays their bills on time. They don't deserve to be thrown out the door for a wink from American."
"Anything else?"
"What is this?"
"Oh, Bets, didn't we just do that?"
"I'm gonna lie down for a minute."
"Muddled, that means smash it."
"Go take mommy and Francine's orders. Bobby, that is your last one. Alright, come on, go, watch TV."
"That's true."
"I don't think we know her."
"Carlton."
"I'm enjoying this story so far, but I have a feeling it's not going to end well."
"What do you wanna hear?"
"OK, you don't smash the cherry on that. Just plop it in at the end. Try to keep it at the top of the glass. Gin."
"No more Cedars."
"Everything's great. Go back to bed."
"Come on. Do what your mother says."
"Said they saw a ghost. He was scared."
"It really looked like him."
"My whole art department is run on tracing paper, why reinvent the wheel?"
"Carlton's put on a few."
"I wouldn't say that."
"OK. Maybe he is."
"Look, Bets, I'm not gonna fight. I'll say whatever you think I should say, but I'm not gonna fight with you."
"Can you come in here with the papers I asked for?"
"Why would I do that?"
"And that gets us a pitch?"
"He has nothing. And this is more of it. It's desperate."
"We have an airline. What kind of company are we gonna be?"
"I can't believe I look like an idiot for wanting to be loyal to these people."
"What do you want, Campbell?"
"It's not a good time."
"Thanks."
"Henry. Sit down, can I get you anything?"
"Sterling Cooper has decided to end it's relationship with Mohawk Airlines."
"I'm sorry. It wasn't my decision."
"I wish things hadn't worked out this way."

Episode 3
"Ken."
"Why don't you get your room? We have a whole storeroom full of Luckies."
"Woah."
"How bad was it?"
"Did you laugh in front of the Schillings?"
"Perfect."
"Has anyone tried to save this yet, besides Leopold and Loeb over here?"
"Well, I'm sure he'll feel real bad about it tonight and give her a call."
"Jimmy Barrett is a known quantity."
"Fix what exactly?"
"Come on, Cosgrove should have told me they were here, I would have never let her near the set."
"I'm going to talk to the Schilling, then I'm gonna explain the facts of life to Jimmy."
"At the printers."
"Lois. Close the door. Sit down. No. Stand. I'd like to find a way not to be cruel, but I don't think it'd be serving either one of us."
"It's nice to see that you care about something. Are you trying to think of what you could possibly say to make up for what's happened here?"
"I think you're not suited for this job."
"In addition to being incompetent, you threaten my reputation and not just today."
"You do not cover for me, you manage people's expectations."
"You really want that?"
"You're not suited for this job, it's not an insult, it's just the way it is."
"Stick to the switchboard, please tell Ms. Holloway on the way out."
"Ms. Holloway, good morning."
"Did she leave everything in a condition you could follow?"
"What can I tell?"
"No, I want someone who will be happy with that job."
"Sure. Is Jimmy Barrett shooting today?"
"What time do they start?
"Wake me at 3:30."
"Not if everything's running smoothly."
"I think there's been plenty of drinking here."
"Jimmy around?"
"Isn't that our tuxedo?"
"Great, so let's go talk to him."
"Oh, I'm sorry, in the pitch, you were introduced as his wife."
"Wife, manager, someone should have kept a lid on him yesterday."
"Mrs. Barrett…"
"He can come in here with vomit in his pockets for all I care, but these people are his benefactors. Like the Medicis of Florence, they're patrons of his art."
"I want you to imagine something that Jimmy obviously can't. The Schillings were very excited to see their favorite comedian."
"No one was laughing."
"You are aware that all of this can go away. No more free tuxedos."
"Tell Jimmy I need to talk to him."
"Really?"
"Well, he has been. So what do you suggest I do."
"Wife. So whose going to have a talk with him, you or me?"
"Let me drive you over."
"It's raining."
"Hail."
"Bobbie."
"I don't want to do this."
"Hey, you."
"Fine."
"I'm fine."
"Ask me what?"
"No?"
"You can ride me around the den."
"Ah, Bets, thank you."
"I'll be right back."
"Hello, it's Don Draper, can you talk?"
"How are you?"
"No, I wanted to invite both of you to dinner, Monday night."
"I was thinking Lutece. It will be formal. Can you get him there?"
"My wife, the Schillings, you."
"What do you want?"
"In my home. With my children."
"Hey! How was it?"
"Come in here."
"I don't care."
"Listen, how do you feel about Lutece, Monday night."
"And you get to meet Jimmy Barrett."
"Business. Hunt Schilling from Utz Potato Chips and wives."
"You need to charm him, I need you to be shiny and bright. I need a better half."
"You have plans?"
"Birdie, we'll go there alone another time."
"Controversy means viewers. Women will find a way to watch this. Maybe just because they don't want to get left out."
"It's catharsis. That's hard to come by. What is better than tears to make a girl ready to hear she can be beautiful."
"Well, there are limits out of what you can get out of daytime."
"Well, we thought you should know about it."
"We all work for someone."
"Edith, please, he wants to apologize."
"This is my wife, Betty. Betty, this is Bobbie and Jimmy Barrett."
"Nice to see you again, Jimmy. You remember Hunt and Edith Schilling?"
"I'm sorry, can you excuse me a moment."
"Do I? I'm not feeling great."
"I'm gonna be brief because I don't like leaving him alone out there."
"They're being polite. The window for this apology is closing. It needs to happen before the appetizers or they will leave."
"So what is this all about?"
"Believe me. I will ruin him. Do what I say."
"Don't get up."
"Excuse me."
"Bets, you alright?"
"What's wrong?"

Episode 4
"Cancel."
"Cancel."
"I don't know. I had an amazing dream."
"Get out, we're sleeping."
"Out."
"Out!"
"Thank you, Jeeves."
"He makes everything sound like Christmas."
"I thought we weren't doing anything today?"
"I hate to think about your reputation in high school."
"Feet, I thought those were water-skis."
"Go, go, go, go."
"No, of course, send her in."
"Mrs. Barrett, to what do I owe the pleasure."
"Not sure how they do it in show business, but around here we have this nifty gadget called and appointment book."
"What did Jimmy do now, ask Eleanor Roosevelt how fast her husband ran the 100 yard dash?"
"Busy."
"Congratulations."
"Let me call for some ice."
"What is it?"
"It's derivative, with a twist. That's what they're looking for."
"That's cute."
"ABC's sick about losing Candid Camera, but you'd have to get Jimmy out of his contract with Utz."
"Show needs a national sponsor, Utz won't do you any good."
"They don't care. But they could be told that their spots would have more punch wherever they air if Jimmy's on a hit television show."
"I'm not interested in doing that."
"But I can't talk to the Schillings."
"What's this?"
"Bobbie, I have work."
"You need to shave."
"What happened?"
"I don't."
"Where is he?"
"Mommy says you broke the HiFi, I believe her. Don't do that again."
"He knows he did something wrong."
"That's not the way it works."
"Can I get something to eat?"
"I'll do it."
"Draper residence."
"It's Sunday morning, where else would I would be?"
"That was Duck Phillips on the phone, American Airlines moved up their presentation."
"So I have to go in."
"Send Sally to Francine's."
"Betty had her hands full today. Sally, be good for Ms Holloway. Keep her away from the paper cutter."
"I'm not ready to do that yet."
"Creative. In my office."
"I don't care if we're just selling a point of view. But we have to commit to one thing. They don't like wiggle room. They like to see us blowing up bridges behind us."
"Where's that list Duck's buddy Shell gave us of all the things that make American different."
"It equates what should be a glamorous job with being a waitress in a tin can. Where's the bar of soap, the ticket sleeves, whose doing the in-flight menu."
"This is in French, how do I know it's right?"
"Make up a chef."
"Peggy, did you pick out a china pattern yet? Did you find the one from the Queen Mary?
"I don't know."
"We got a lot of bricks, but I don't know what the building looks like."
"Come on, up, up."
"Goodnight, ladies. Thanks for babysitting."
"It's over."
"And we have to deliver a stillborn baby."
"Here. You should have this."
"We hired him to bring in new business, not lose old business."
"It's Good Friday."
"It didn't."
"No. How was your day?"
"Is that what you wanted?"
"I pay the bills, the clothes on your back, the damn stables."
"What about Carla, doesn't she count?"
"You want me to bring home what I got at the office today? I'll put you though that window."
"Bobby, it's not a good time."
"It's OK. Dad's get mad sometimes."
"He did."
"Like me, but bigger."
"Ham. And this candy, that tasted violets. Had a beautiful purple and silver package."
"I told you, he was a farmer."
"A long time ago."
"Come here."
"What do you wanna here?"
"Bets, you do whatever you want."
"He's a little kid. My father beat the hell out of me. All it did was make me fantasize about the day I could murder him."
"And I wasn't half as good as Bobby."

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Episode 5
"Joan."
"Well, there's your answer."
"Ms Holloway, those aren't wedding bells."
"Thank you."
"Bobbie."
"How are you?"
"I'm in my office, where you called me. You sound a little tipsy."
"Congratulations, you got an order?"
"And why would I come?"
"I'm working."
"No. Let's not confuse this."
"Was there even a party?"
"Maybe he doesn't understand how big this is."
"Ms. Mencken."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Mrs. Barrett's husband is a comedian who works with me."
"So how are things at Gray? They still taking credit for everything we did?"
"Should we go elsewhere?"
"No, it's fine."
"Steak tartar."
"Hearts of palm salad, steak tartar."
"I think you're wrong about that."
"You really do his business, don't you?"
"Negotiating is a bore."
"What do you mean?"
"The answer is huge."
"Yes. Yes I do."
"I do."
"Movies."
"La Note."
"I don't feel a thing."
"May I?"
"I have $63 and some subway tokens. I'll mail you the rest."
"Let me call a cab and I'll send an employee out here with the $500 tomorrow morning."
"What is the problem?"
"Bobbie, stay up."
"What do you think?"
"You can drop me off at Grand Central."
"Peggy, do you have a roommate?"
"Idlewild is better. The Cross Island or the Belt Parkway."
"Leave her alone. No one in the office can know about this. It's business."
"I was in an accident."
"By the time I could call, I didn't want to wake you."
"I went to the doctor a while ago and I have high blood pressure."
"It's fine, except he gave me a prescription. And I think the pills mixed with the drinks was too much. I lost control of the car."
"I didn't want to worry you."
"What did you want me to do? Have you come down there? Ask Francine in the middle of the night to watch your kids because your husband is in the drunk tank?"
"I was solving a problem, Bets, I need a clear head, you can't get all hysterical. I didn't know you were waiting up."
"I have to get changed and go in."
"I don't want anyone to know about this. I rented a car. I'll have to get my car."
"I'll swing by Dr. McGladdery on the way in. Just help me get dressed. OK?"
"Morning."
"I'm not paying attention anymore until they're here a month."
"I missed the bottom step. It's an old house."
"Why?"
"Is he upset about something?"
"I want you to put him off a few days, let him cool. He'll make more sense."
"I'll handle it."
"Get the door."
"Is everything OK?"
"Is she awake?"
"Put her on."
"Why not?"
"I don't know. Jimmy called. He wants to meet with me."
"So you don't know anything about this?"
"I do, are you OK?"
"It's going to be better."
"Yes, I am."
"You got a promotion and disappeared. Your Christmas present is sitting on your desk. I called your head and your roommate gave me your mother's number."
"Your mother told me you were quarantined. TB. I guess that was supposed to lessen my concern."
"What's wrong with you?"
"What do they want you to do?
"Yes you do. Do it. Do whatever they say. Peggy, listen to me. Get out of here and move forward. This never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened."
"I did my work."
"I don't know, Ms. Olson, do you need some help?"
"Yes, you will."
"Yes?"
"Don't let it happen again."
"What?"
"Oh. Right."
"Here. I'll give you $50 tomorrow. I guess when you try to forget something, you have to forget everything."
"Jimmy. Mrs Barrett, you look good."
"Old football injury."
"Have a seat."
"My pleasure."
"Well, why would I do that?"
"You didn't have to come all the way in here to say that. I know that."
"OK."
"I made it."
"Where's the salt? What, Bets, no salt?"

Episode 6
"You asking me if I've seen this before? They've been running it for 10 years."
"They shouldn't be. Maidenform is a dream, but Playtex is a bra."
"Why now? Sales are strong."
"I like a happy client, although you'd think someone would be able to talk them out of jumping onto a bandwagon as solid as this."
"Why because their share of the market keeps increasing?"
"Thank you for that. Just for fun, let's say we're looking for new and by new, I mean old Maidenform. Peggy, you dig around Playtex's unique benefits."
"Tell them you couldn't get a hold of me."
"Good. How are you, Crab?"
"I don't mind watching."
"I hadn't heard about that. I guess you PR men have the best PR."
"Yeah, what happened over there?"
"You handled that, huh?"
"Everybody's happy."
"Really?"
"I have to go."
"People will be working. I should stop by."
"Call me from the emergency room."
"Room 301. Oh, you're there. Good."
"Your son?"
"Los Angeles. That's far away."
"Don't do that."
"No."
"I'll call you."
"Restful."
"Is that why you're here? Concerned for my wellbeing? Here's your cigarette. Be on your way."
"What are you talking about?"
"I have."
"Where are we?"
"We? Are you on Playtex?"
"Are you sure about that?"
"Well put."
"That is an idea. And an impressive presentation."
"Irene Dunn."
"Peggy, you're gonna have company on this. Congratulations, Kinsey, you forced your way onto an account."
"Whose the new account man?"
"We're laying track I think you can bring the train in tomorrow."
"Two sides of one woman. Jackie by day, Marilyn by night. Maybe it's two girls."
"She's in charge."
"Thought you all were listening, let's go."
"No. It's just I wasn't really planning on coming back after lunch. Any way we can have this conversation now?"
"That's quite a playing field you have there."
"I thought maybe your secretary was better than mine."
"18 months in? We can't be that unusual."
"You've been pitching more to me than you have to clients."
"It means, you been selling their ideas to me, more than mine to them."
"So, what, you're covering for me? Who am I in this story?"
"What do you want me to say? That we're on the same team? That I love being in your unit? Sarge, I'm scared?"
"Yes. Of course we can. And I will tell Roger we had lunch."
"You don't want to know."
"A little after 4."
"Daughter? Is that everyone?"
"How much preparation do you need?"
"I took the afternoon off."
"You can go."
"I would never leave you alone in my place."
"What's that?"
"No, that."
"Can I speak to you a minute?"
"Where you going in that?"
"You asked me if I liked it, I don't."
"I'm talking about a 15 year old lifeguard. I'm talking about a bunch of tennis pros. Not to mention all those loafing millionaires taking the summer off. You want to be ogled?"
"It's desperate."
"I have to go. See you tonight."
"Jacqueline Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe. Women have feelings about these women because men do. Because we want both, they want to be both. It's about how they want to be seen by us, their husbands, they boyfriends, their friend's husbands. Here's the idea, very simply. The bra is called 'the Harlequin'. In fit and form, it should be your very best. It comes in black. And white. Jackie. Marilyn. Same incredible fit, two different women. And the beauty of it is, it's the same woman. Same model."
"And even if you don't notice it, you still get a bit of an a ha when you read the copy. 'Nothing fits both sides of a woman better than Playtex."
"So will your customers, it's a very flattering mirror."
"I couldn't have said it better myself."
"It's yours. We'll keep it on file for you."
"Don't worry, it's not your fault."
"I think we bought a couple years of security. If they ever decide to go that way, they know we can do it."
"Stop talking."
"Do I?"
"No."
"You're spoiling the mood."
"Are you talking about me?"
"Well who was?"
"I don't know who you're talking about."
"Does it make you feel better to think that I'm like you?
"I told you to stop talking."
"Grapefruit."
"Hey, you."
"You know what, Sally? I think you better leave me alone."

Episode 7
"Something like that."
"I had a Dodge."
"Is that right?"
"Yes."
"Don’t you want to hold onto these?"
"This is the 1950 model. It's quite different under the hood."
"Charlie, this car is two years old with only 25 thousand miles on it. It's what you want. This must be Mrs. Wheatley. Why don't you sit in it again. You two talk. Can I help you, ma'am."
"Yes I am. If it's about my circular, many of the models are gone, but, uh, I'm sure we could find you something."
"Excuse me?"
"Yes."
"No. Thank you."
"Good."
"Did she leave a message?"
"Yes."
"I don't think she cries at night from lack of attention."
"Send him in."
"They changed it."
"It's hard for them to do a lot of new work."
'We'll find out."
"Just a minute."
"I don't know. If I fill you full of anymore confidence, you'll burst."
"Leave her alone. Let's go."
"OK."
"That's a beautiful sentiment. Does your friend know what you do for a living?"
"Students for a Democratic Society? That's a hell of a focus group."
"It's idealistic, that's nice."
"You just want to be selling Martinson's Coffee?"
"Young people do not drink coffee and that can become a lifetime habit. Now, we're aware that unsuccessful attempts have been made, puppets and so forth, to capture the attention of youth."
"But there's an old saying. When one is in Indian country, one needs a man who knows Indians. Mr. Smith."
"It's definitely more than a jingle."
"If you sign, we'll tell you."
"You want me to send for something for you?"
"We'll be right there."
"Thanks again."
"Thank you. I didn't do it alone."
"That's nice. What is it?"
"Do they need a campaign?"
"If you say so."
"I will."
"A little."
"Wayne, I would like to buy this car."
"You like it?"
"Slide over."
"That is a headlight sensor. It automatically dims the lights as you approach another car."
"It was expensive."
"I do."
"Anytime you want."
"He called here? He should have gone through my secretary."
"Not in here."
"Is Bobby in the car again?"
"So I don't understand. You'd rather play checkers than my look at the clouds game?"
"I don't want it jammed between my seats."
"We should only do this."
"Go behind the tree there, no one's looking."
"I think everybody should go before we get in the car."
"You kids are lucky. When I was a little boy, back on the farm, we had an outhouse way out in the yard. And the nights when there was no moon, there was this rope and you had to feel for it in the dark and pull yourself across."
"We should probably get going if we don't want to hit traffic."
"Check their hands."
"Believe me, they're saying that about you."
"I do."
"Very little."
"Hello, Mrs. Barrett."
"Not yet. Why don't I get us some drinks."
"I'll do it."
"Of course, Jimmy will need a Rolex, I suppose."
"Betty's not feeling well."
"I don't know if that's possible, Jimmy."
"I'll tell everyone I know."
"Excuse me?"
"I don't know what you think happened."

Episode 8
"When did you get up?"
"Is it still Saturday?"
"I thought you were gonna call an electrician?"
"Sounds like you could do it."
"OK. OK. Bets, come here. Look, you've got a week before this party and it doesn't have to be a big deal. Carla will help you."
"Birdy, I'll fix it."
"At the fact that you don't use their product?"
"So what's the problem?"
"Did you explain to them that there's a market that's actually excited about Heineken being imported? For women entertaining in the home, Holland is Paris. They can buy this sophisticated beer and proudly walk it into the kitchen instead of hiding it in the garage."
"OK. We'll go up and down the Hudson, northern New Jersey, Connecticut, the cash belt. Set up a few end aisle displays at the A&Ps, away from the other beer, surrounded by cheese and crackers and toothpicks with cellophane tips."
"Oh, I'd worry more disappointing Roger, he seemed to think it was more important that we sit down with Crab Colson and believe me I'm sure my wife would rather go see a movie."
"Crab, can I get you another one of those?"
"Roger?"
"Hello, Duck."
"This is Bobby. Bobby, shake Mr. Phillips' hand."
"Nobody cares."
"Of course this is Petra and Crab Colson."
"Can I get you something?"
"Did you take the Saw Mill?"
"No."
"I'm not even allowed to pick where I sit."
"Goodnight, Carla."
"Hey."
"What are you talking about?
"What did I do?"
"So what?"
"Bets, I use our life all the time in my work. They pay me for that."
"Come on. You're taking this the wrong way."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."
"No one is going to remember that. You know what they're going to remember? Petra Colson missing her chair. Come on, leave this. You're tired, let's go upstairs."
"Betty, I can't talk to you when you're like this. You're making a mountain out of a molehill."
"What?"
"What?"
"Betty, that's ridiculous."
"Fine, Bets, what do you know? Go ahead. Tell me."
"Jimmy. He hates me."
"Oh, please. What the hell did he say?"
"I'm not gonna dignify Jimmy Barrett with a response, he's a big mouth. And don't pretend I don't know how he looks at you."
"You think I would sleep with that woman?"
"There's nothing to admit."
"I'm going to bed."
"Morning."
"Did she?"
"OK. Bye bye."
"Phil, good to see you as always."
"We targeted a few wealthy suburban markets with woman friendly end aisle displays."
"The sample was very small, but what we put out, sold well. More important was who it sold to. This is an untapped market, where you dictate the competition."
"No, but it's what I've been pushing for."
"Why would I lie? Where the ones who are gonna have to deliver."
"Hello?"
"Where are the kids?"
"What happened here?"
"Would you stop? How much have you had to drink?"
"What are you doing, Bets?"
"I didn't do anything."
"What time is it?"
"Me either."
"Nothing happened."
"Yes I do."
"Yes I do. You know I do. I say it all the time."
"Oh, God, no. I love you, Bets. I do. And I love the children. I don't want to lose all this."
"I gotta take this."
"Hello?"
"What?"
"Betty."

Episode 9
"Peggy."
"Hollis."
"I can't say I'm surprised, the few things I know about her."
"Suicide is disturbing."
"Yes, that's true."
"I already had some."
"Do you need to go home?"
"Morning, fellas. Is this program already in progress?"
"Yes, tell me everything."
"I am."
"Why don't you bore me with the details."
"Kinsey, I want you to pull every intern and lackey. Switchboard, elevator men. Find out who wants to be a copywriter for the day. A dollar a head."
"The people giving blood. This is for mankind, Kinsey."
"Helping another human being. Also, there will be women fainting. I'd think you'd like that."
"What an elegant surrender. And put up some more posters, I can't believe I have to say that to you people."
"Good."
"We'd love to, but my kid is sick. You'll know what that means soon enough."
"What do we have today?"
"I assume to have it bleed into the cocktail hour."
"What happened?"
"Mrs. Draper is working out some things."
"I thought it would be over by now, I guess, and there'd be no need to…"
"It goes without saying that this is personal and I'd appreciate you keeping it that way."
"I'd also avoid giving me concerned looks."
"I don't know you at all and this is personal and it's not up for discussion."
"I'm at the Roosevelt if there's an emergency."
"Goodnight."
"It'll go by like that. Come here. It won't be that long Salamander. Go."
"Listen, she called my office."
"Monday."
"You said you didn't want me here and then you do."
"Obviously that's impossible. What do you want to do? I mean how long is this going to go on? We have to tell them something."
"OK, how about, 'I'm working on an account, they're putting me up in Philadelphia, but I'll be home every weekend."
"Or I could just come home."
"Bets, what do you want?"
"Listen, if you're mind's made up, I'm not gonna talk you into it."
"And a bearclaw. What's this?"
"Thank you. Submit your receipt."
"You're not a fainter, are you?"
"Oh. I'm usually part of the meeting before the meeting."
"What?"
"Really? How'd the presentation go?"
"Of Freddy Rumson?"
"Is that necessary?"
"But it didn't."
"Duck's a teetotaler, he's been gunning for Freddy since day one."
"I don't think it's in my contract that Duck can fire someone in my department."
"He'll know what that means. I don't want to throw him away."
"I'll make it."
"Good."
"What are you doing?"
"That's none of your business. Freddy had a bad day. Can't you find something else to do besides dining on the drama of other people's lives like a bunch of teenage girls?"
"Sure, it's just a man's name, right?"
"Full salary. You dry out and come back. We'll see where we are."
"That's impressive."
"It's the best thing, Freddy."
"You know I'll recommend you."
"There's a lot of great towns."
"Absolutely."
"Tilden Katz."
"Obviously."
"You're so good at this, why don't you quit your job?"
"I think I'm glad I'm not that kid."
"No, I'm fine. Thank you."
"Send off Freddy? I had to send off Freddy."
"Roger. There's nothing to talk about."
"Roger, will you stop?"
"Why?"
"I think that's gonna do it for me."
"Good."
"I don't know. Thank you, Fredy. It means a lot."
"I don't know, it sounded like you had a plan."
"It's not an ending. It's a fresh start."
"Where do you live, Freddy?"
"No matter what he says, take him there."
"Goodnight, Freddy."
"I'm the opposite."
"It was a real Archibald Whitman maneuver."
"This hothead drunk I used to know."
"I'm at the Roosevelt."
"I really don't want to discuss it, Roger."
"No, I don't feel bad at all. I mean, sometimes. Mostly I'm just relieved."
"That'd be easier. Then I'd know what to do."
"Why not?"
"I don't know. It's your life. You don't know how long it's gonna be, but you know it's got a bad ending. As soon as you can figure out what that is."
"I mean, this can't be it, right?"
"That's true."
"Close the door."
"That was quite a presentation you gave. The Samsonite people are thrilled."
"They've requested that you be reassigned as the copywriter on their account."
"Freddy's decided to take a few months off."
"It doesn't matter, you'll be taking over all of his business."
"You know I really don't like walking into an ambush from Duck and Pete Campbell."
"Even me."
"What's your point? Don't feel bad about being good at your job."
"That's the way it happened. Congratulations."
"Hello, Mona. Jane, it's OK."
"What?"
"About what?"
"Roger?"
"Mona, I didn't say anything."
"Mona, I didn't mean it that way."
"I want her off my desk."

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Episode 10
"Sounds like a hell of a stock portfolio."
"As much as I'd like to indulge your Twilight Zone fantasy of being shot into space…"
"…This is a business trip, I don't want either of you coming back tan."
"As long as you lose. Crab Colson guarantees there will be some astronauts there."
"You're there to sell, but you're also there to listen. Every scientist, engineer, and general is trying to figure out a way to put a man on the moon, or blow up Moscow, whichever one costs more. We have to explain to them how we can help them spend that money."
"Campbell, you do the talking. Kinsey, you do the listening."
"No. They are the customer. They want aerospace in their districts. Let them know that we can help them bring these contracts home. Did you read anything that she prepared? Maybe I should send her."
"Hello?"
"What time is it?"
"No."
"Jesus."
"Is it bad?"
"I'm coming to get you."
"Bets, it's not up for discussion. Take the kids to Francine."
"Fine, I'll be by in the morning."
"Everything's gonna be OK."
"I'll be by at 8."
"We can get a room down the road at the William Penn."
"Sorry about your dad."
"Good to see you, Gene."
"With a neighbor."
"I'm here. You want a drink?"
"Yes."
"All the time."
"It's OK."
"Come on."
"Birdie, you should eat."
"You want me to lay everything out for you?"
"Morning everyone. Gene."
"No, this will be fine. And coffee."
"Hello, Viola."
"I'm gonna make some calls."
"Put these upstairs?"
"I'll go get the kids."
"I'm gonna take a shower."
"What?"
"Really?"
"Bets, you're upset."
"I think I should be here for you."
"What do you want me to say? I want to be here. You need me here."
"Hello, Donna."
"Of course."
"About how those things are. Joan, if you don't mind, could I borrow you for a moment?
"Cancel everything."
"No, clear the week."
"Memorable, thank you."
"I'm leaving for California tomorrow for the Rocket Fair."
"Not yet."
"She's been doing it so far."
"I'll need you to send a memo to Mr. Kinsey explaining this change of plans."
"I did."
"What did Ricardo in there say?"
"And fill it with my things?"
"There's not going to be any swimming."
"You want to be the 100th person to shake someone's hand at some convention, for what, a free pen?"
"Forget Santa Monica, take your list, target some of these guy and make them feel special. Didn't Roger give you leads?"
"I'm gonna need some glasses."
"You want to be on vacation, Pete? Cause I can make that happen."
"Old fashioned."
"Why?"
"No."
'No."
"Don."
"I am."
"Maybe another time."
"Pete, this is Joy, and Rocky, and the Count Mon De Forte."
"Yes."
"Handing out towels?"
"Whose for dinner?"
"Are all of our meetings like this?"
"Go see if General Dynamics beat us here. Drop these by the front desk. You don't want them under your arm."
"Hello."
"Yes."
"I don't know about that."
"No."
"Who lives here?"
"I think I should go inside."
"Where am I?"
"What are you doing?"
"No, it's OK. I just need some water and some aspirin."
"Who are these people?"
"What are you all doing here?"
"No."
"I don't know how to answer that."
"New York."
"Or I'm a really good spy."
"So I assume you're all well off."
"I played some football in high school."
"Athens."
"Oslo."
"Adresso."
"How old are you?"
"I'm 36."
"Who are you?"
"What are you reading?"
"So you're in school?"
"Is it good?"
"That's your father?"
"Why?"
"Will I?"
"Joy."
"Hello. Hello, there."
"You can have it."
"Hello, it's Dick Whitman."
"Yeah."
"I'd love to see you. Soon."
"No, I didn't bring it with me."
"See you soon."

Episode 12
"Why would you bring that up?"
"It's a simple misunderstanding, there's a lot of men with my name."
"Car title, apartment lease."
"In a safe deposit box."
"I don't know what to say. There's been a mistake."
"I have to get back to work."
"He died. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry."
"He never said he had a wife."
"I'm very, very sorry."
"He was killed in combat."
"They thought I was him and he was me. I didn't think I was hurting anyone."
"I just had to get out of there. What are you gonna do to me."
"I didn't know him long. Maybe. What's your name?"
"I don't know what to say. I'm making good money, if that’s… I know I owe you more than money. I have his purple heart and his dog-tags if you want them."
"Dick Whitman."
"I can come back."
"I don't play."
"Hi."
"No. Business."
"I didn't even think about it. I didn't mean to intrude. I can…"
"No."
"Can I take a shower and lie down?"
"These pants have a 38 inseam."
"I would like to meet him."
"It's beautiful here."
"You been in California too long."
"Sally is 8, Bobby is 5."
"I ruined everything. My family, my wife, my kids."
"My brother came to find me. I told him to go away."
"I've told you things I've never told Betty. Why does it have to be that way?"
"No. That would just confuse things."
"I don't know. I have been watching my life. It's right there. And I keep scratching at it trying to get into it. I can't."
"There's something else."
"I met a girl."
"She's so beautiful and happy. She's a model. And she's from a good family and she's educated."
"Elizabeth. Betty. I want you to meet her."
"I just like the way she laughs and the way she looks at me."
"I want to ask her to marry me."
"Well, I need you to give me a divorce."
"You should hire a lawyer out here. I'll pay for it. And I want you to know, I'm going to take care of you, forever."
"I do."
"This whole life, if it wasn't for Don, if it wasn't…"
"I guess so."
"I want to."
"Why?"
"You can be my cousin."
"Thank you, Anna."
"Is that a '34 Sedan?"
"What'd you do to it?"
"2 Fords and a Buick."
"What happened here?"
"No. But I remember these. I used to sell them, used."
"How fast does it go?"
"The color on that one. I never seen anything like it."
"Dick."
"You guys need any help? I'm looking for work."
"I don’t know, don't people…[problem with disc]"
"…"
"It's an ink-blot, you see what you want to see."
"Did you read it?"
"How about the cards? Should I be worried?"
"That can't be good."
"It's the end of the world."
"No, I don't."
"I can smell the ocean."
"Whose she?"
"That's a nice thought."
"What does it mean?"
"What if that's true?"
"People don't change."

Episode 13
"Half an hour. I didn't want to bother you."
"I had to have some time to think about things."
"Bets, I'd do anything I could to undo what happened."
"I was not respectful to you."
"I can't walk away from this. I want to be with you. I want to be together again."
"I need to see the kids."
"Hildie."
"Hello, Joan. It's good to be back. How are you?"
"Hello, Peggy."
"Sunny. Do I work for you now?"
"So, other than her office and haircut, is there anything new I need to know about?"
"The world continues without us. There's no reason to take it personally."
"I'll need the copywriters and Sal in here to get me up to speed. Call Roger in a half an hour and tell him I'll meet him in a half an hour. And Mr. Phillips, maybe I'll run into him in the men's room."
"Did she call?"
"I think that's enough to start."
"Trust me, I don't think there'll be a point in taking to the stairs or diving under a desk"
"Sorry I missed that."
"But you did."
"Did you ever think I left you there because I thought you could handle it? How did it go?"
"Then I was right, wasn't I? You handled it. Good work. I know you want everything the minute you want it. Sometimes it's better to wait until you're ready."
"Yes, you proved it. Now I have to play a little catchup ball."
"You wanted to see me?"
"I'll stack my absences up against yours any day."
"It was important. And from what I can see, the walls are still standing."
"What?"
"So, how much?"
"Duck was in a bar?"
"Any conflicts?"
"No, with the deal, but, congratulations."
"I guess so."
"We don't know what's really going on. You know that."
"I missed you, too."
"There's a roll away there for you, Bobby. And we can go to the movies or Chinese food."
"You want to join us?"
"Do you want to pick them up in my office tomorrow?"
"OK."
"It's delicious. You're crazy."
"What's wrong with root beer?"
"It'll take 45 minutes, you know?"
"From the look of this, that may be all I have."
"What?"
"How do you know that?"
"Why would he do that?"
"…[problem with disc]"
"…"
"Dear Betty, I'm sitting in the Roosevelt looking at the backs of Bobby and Sally's heads as they watch TV. I'm not letting them change the channel because watching the news makes me sick and they can see it. I think about you, and how I behaved and my regret. I know it's my fault why are you not here right now. I understand why you feel it's better to go on without me, and I know that you won't be alone for very long. But, without you, I'll be alone forever. I love you, Don."
"What? I think it sounds like a great agency, and I think that Duck is the man to run it. I just don't think I'll be a part of it."
"If this is the agency you want, Duck is the man for the job."
"I don't have a contract."
"Gentlemen, I sell products, not advertising. I can't see as far into the future as Duck, but if the world is still here on Monday, we can talk."
"You should go home as well."
"I don't need it. Goodnight."
"They finally went down."
"What?"

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Family Guy Emmy

aaron cohen — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 19:23:43 +0000

You think it's going to end and it just keeps going on and on and on and on and on and on.

Via Title Case.

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