…And it's driven me crazy. There aren't any links in this post, but after several years of faithful link blogging, I've earned the right to talk about myself once in a while, haven't I? On to the Fitbit. Because of our 5 month old, I operate at about 40-70% capacity depending on the day and how the night before went. This morning, I took the baby when she woke up early so my wife could sleep in. The baby is sleeping in our room at the moment, so when it was time for a morning nap, I got her ready and we took a nap on the couch. I checked my Fitbit before falling asleep to see how much walking and rocking the baby had taken to get sleepy, and while sleeping I have a vague memory of hearing the Fitbit falling on the ground.
When the fellas testing the fire alarm woke us up by testing the fire alarm, I reached my hand to the ground looking for the Fitbit. When I didn't find it, I got on my hands and knees, and looked under the couch and the coffee table. Then looked in the cushions. Then looked in my clothes to make sure it wasn't there. Then I got on my hands and knees, and looked under the couch and the coffee table. Then looked in the cushions. Then looked in my clothes to make sure it wasn't there. Rinse. Repeat.
It's gone. The only thing I can think happened is the Fitbit somehow fell off and became a cat toy. It's not in any of the places the cat toys end up, though. I looked in each of those places about 6 times, and there are plenty of toys, but there are no Fitbits. I don't think the cats ate it because A) They seem fine and B) The steps haven't increased at all since it disappeared. I understand the inside of a cat is probably hostile territory to a Fitbit, but I'd expect it to register at least a few steps before it stopped working.
So that was this morning, and I haven't been able to do anything all day. This is ridiculous. I'm trying to figure out how to put it to words, but basically, the missing Fitbit is occupying just enough of my brain I can't focus on anything. There's two parts to this. First, where the hell did it go? Imagine falling asleep with your keys, or your phone, or a quarter, or an orange, and then waking up and it's gone. You looked everywhere, and it's just completely gone. Second, after wearing a Fitbit for over a year, I'm used to tracking my steps. Pretty much any time I moved today, I had the nagging feeling of, "Hey, these steps aren't being recorded. Do they event matter? They don't matter. Just stop walking and take a seat." Again, this is ridiculous, but that's where my head has been all day. Thank you for letting me share.
"FACT: This is the only photo that has ever made any sense in this world or ever will." - @pourmecoffee
is a quiz site testing your knowledge of Ikea furniture names, death metal bands, or both. I got 8 out of 10. How'd you do?
IKEA is that friendly shop where you get cheap furniture from the inside of a giant, unending warehouse. Black metal is the kind of music that sounds like someone screaming while trapped inside a burning church. They each possess a fervent fan base. And to tell you the truth, the names of the furniture in IKEA sound a lot like the names of black metal bands. Consider this quiz an educational way to learn the difference between the two. It doesn’t matter if you know who Burzum is or if you’ve ever sat in a Preben chair – it’s time to have some kvlt fun. Death to false furniture!
Sinead O'Connor goes long with an open letter to Miley Cyrus
begging Miley to take herself more seriously. There's some looniness from Sinead, as you'd expect by now, but also a LOT of hard truths about how young women are treated in the music industry.
The music business doesn’t give a shit about you, or any of us. They will prostitute you for all you are worth, and cleverly make you think its what YOU wanted.. and when you end up in rehab as a result of being prostituted, ‘they’ will be sunning themselves on their yachts in Antigua, which they bought by selling your body and you will find yourself very alone.
Miley responded by Tweeting a picture of Sinead's Twitter meltdown
from January of 2012. I don't know if it's important or not, but Sinead's Tweets have been deleted for quite a while so someone had to go out and get them for Miley to share. Assuming someone in Miley's position doesn't have time to dig something like this up, it makes you wonder what kind of people Miley has around her. JFC, what am I even talking about this is stupid.
I suppose it's always good for people to learn how the stock market works
. Kevin Roose has a look at the exchanges, and a recent effort to manipulate the markets.
• There are two playable stock exchanges inside GTA V: LCN and BAWSAQ. On each of these exchanges, you can buy and sell stocks using the virtual cash you amass during the course of the game. (This cash has no real-world value, but it can be used to buy houses, airplane hangars, and other cool things inside the game.)
• Most of the time, these stock prices appear to move randomly. But in certain missions, your character is given a tip that, due to an in-game event (usually, an assassination of a CEO), a company's stock is about to rise or fall precipitously. When this happens, you're supposed to load up on the stock (or its competitor's stock), kill the CEO, then profit from your trades.
• Rockstar Games, the makers of GTA V, have hinted (but never confirmed) that BAWSAQ, the second exchange, might be dynamic — in other words, it might move in response to the actions of other GTA V players, whose trades feed into a central online database. If thousands of players around the world happen to buy a bunch of guns simultaneously, the theory went, the BAWSAQ might reflect that activity by raising the price of Ammu-Nation stock (Ammu-Nation being the store where guns are purchased).
• There is no penalty for insider trading or securities fraud in Grand Theft Auto.
Helpful little article about Kosher salt
. Are you a Diamond or Morton's chef?
Consider kosher salt: large, flaky, white grains that dissolve slowly in cooking. If you like to cook, you probably have a box of Morton or Diamond kosher salt in your cupboard, and if you are a chef, a small mountainous peak is likely sitting in a crock that you keep within arm’s reach in the kitchen at all times. It is one of the most ubiquitous ingredients in the cooking world — but it’s also one of the most misunderstood: All salt can be kosher (if it’s produced under kosher supervision) but not all kosher salt is kosher.
Via Carve Slayer
There are likely other fantastic examples of shutdown-related idiocy, but they're all terrible compared to this example. "All that stuff is published online, bro."
Chris makes this post better
Apparently, people in China put snakes into jugs of wine to create remedies capable of treating common ailments. Recently a lady was bit by a snake
which had been in a jar for 3 months. Just so you know, "Doctors warn, however, that snakes can lie dormant in liquor for months and even years."