For all you folks preparing for some sort of disaster, don't forget your bacon in a can. It lasts for 10 years. Apparently it's been around for a long time, and actually, I'm intrigued by this. Do you think it's crispy or rubbery?

xkcd says it all about a lot of things, now it's saying it all about bacon.

Seriously folks, even if I wanted to stop posting bacon related links, people would keep sending them to me. Here's a bacon bra sent over by Karmen. I can't think of many things grosser than uncooked bacon, though a bra made out of cooked bacon would be a lot less comfortable (I'm just guessing).

(Via Jezebel via World of Wonder via Found Shit)

Chapter X in the saga of friends sending me bacon related nonsense, a Felted Bacon Scarf on Etsy sent to me by Lillian. It really is remarkable how lifelike the bacon scarf is.

Atwoods Tavern had a bacon eating contest yesterday. I briefly mentioned last bacon post how my friends have decided to make me their bacon guy. In keeping with that, 6 different people wished me luck in the contest on Friday. Maybe I'll take part next year.

The latest in a long string of bacon related links sent to me by my friends. The Bacon Bloody Mary. At this point (or until Matt throws me out), I say, 'why fight it'?
Bring it on, people, let's see your bacon related links.

I thought it was cute on Friday when I got a link to the MSN A-List blog entry about mustaches. Hahaha, I have a mustache and the internet says they might be cool in 2008. But it got downright creepy yesterday when their entry was about bacon. I like bacon. I think people think I like it more than I do, because I get about 2-3 bacon related links a week from friends. I can't be the only bacon lover with a mustache that reads all the internet, but really, it is odd. Though, if MSN thinks you're cool, how cool can you be.

(As an aside, apparently the MSN A-List blog prevents WordPress and Blogger extensions from working, preventing lazy bloggers from linking to them. Well, this lazy blogger loves bacon and his mustache too much to be thwarted.)

I mean, why not, right?

We had our 10 year high school reunion on Friday and had some people over to catch up before going to catch up with the rest of the class.
I figured this was a good opportunity to make some more chocolate covered bacon. My first attempt at combining bacon and chocolate to make bacolate was a success of sorts, if only because the results were edible and appreciated. The result wasn't going to be worth making again, though, so I had to try a different tact. Bacolate Truffles!
I read about 6,000 truffle recipes on Thursday night and then about 2,500 more articles about chocolate tempering before 2 trusted culinary advisers (thanks, Matt and Ben) let me know that I didn't REALLY need to temper the chocolate. This will be a debate for another day, however, after all other aspects of this process are perfected.

Bacolate Truffles:
For the ganache, I used a composite recipe.
3/4 cups of heavy whipping cream
2 tablespoons butter
1 1/2 cups of chocolate
5 strips of bacon

Microwave the bacon until crisp (about 5-8 minutes depending on how much bacon) and break up into little pieces. Microwaving the bacon results in a uniform crispness, which is what I was going for. You might like your bacon less crispy, but I'm not sure how that would taste mixed with chocolate.

Heat cream and butter on medium, stirring continuously until melted. Put chocolate (chips or cut up into small pieces) in a bowl. When cream begins to boil, pour over chocolate and let sit for 5 minutes. Stir until smooth and pour into a brownie pan that has been prepared with plastic wrap on the bottom and sides. Put plastic wrap over the top of the mixture as well to prevent a film from forming. Let cool for 10 minutes and put into the refrigerator to chill out until it's firm (probably about 60-90 minutes).

I dipped these truffles in chocolate after forming them into little balls, which is where the tempering was going to come in, but by melting the chocolate slowly and carefully in a double boiler, it wasn't necessary. After the ganache was firm, I rolled them into balls, adding some small pieces of bacon to the middle, and dipped them in chocolate and put them onto a cookie sheet to chill out some more before serving. The forming and dipping process was a nightmare, and will need to be improved upon for next time. I'll keep you updated as the process evolves. Like all truffles, these could be coated with cocoa powder, confectionery sugar, roasted nuts, more bacon, etc.

Mint Truffles:
Same recipe as above (minus the bacon). When boiling the cream and butter, add a few mint leaves and strain before pouring over the chocolate. This ganache will need a lot longer to chill in the fridge though, as it was impossible to form into a ball before melting in my hands.

Oreo Truffles:
1 pound package of Oreo Cookies (I cheekily used Double Stuffs, look out)
1 8 oz package of cream cheese
Chocolate for dipping

Mash Oreo Cookies in a bowl. Use a mixer to combine Oreos and cream cheese until well mixed. Form into little balls and put onto a cookie sheet to chill out in the refrigerator. After balls are firm, dip in chocolate. Personally, I always hate the idea of cream cheese as a dessert ingredient, but these really came out great. Delicious.

Vietnamese Spring Rolls:
Carrots
Cucumbers
Red Pepper
Lettuce
Cilantro
Mint
Rice Vermicelli
Spring Roll Skin

Not a dessert, but Matt's always putting up fancy food posts, and I made these, too, so I wanted to tell you about'em. The ingredients are a little ambiguous because you can really put whatever you want in these things. I learned how to make them from my vegan sister-in-law, though, so there isn't any shrimp, or say, bacon, in these rolls.

Cut veggies into this pieces about the width of a McDonald french fry and about as long as your index finger. Cook vermicelli, strain, and rinse with cold water. Fill a large bowl with hot water. Dip spring roll skin into hot water for about 3 seconds and put on a plate or cutting board. Fill with ingredients and wrap. Some people dry the skin off before wrapping, but that creates an extra step and makes it much easier to mess up the skin. I've made these 4 times now and just got the ingredient proportions down correctly so that my rolls don't like giant vegan mistakes. It's going to take some practice, but the best piece of advice I can offer would be to fill the roll and then take a quarter of the filling out.
Roll and serve with Hoisin sauce.

A couple weeks ago, Matt reviewed Vosges Haute Chocolat Mo's Bacon Bar. I had seen these bars a couple days earlier, and Matt's generally favorable review pushed me over the edge. I had to try it. I felt differently about the bar starting with the cost and ending with the amount of bacon. A $7 candy bar should taste like a Josh Beckett playoff performance in your mouth. It should taste like angels' harp music. It should taste like falling in love with kittens. The bar was good, but there were no kittens playing harps in my mouth, that's for sure. Also, a bacon candy bar should have bacon in it, not diva ass baco bits. I was disappointed, but also strangely invigorated. The idea of bacon and chocolate is a great one, it just wasn't executed correctly. I'm not the type of person who generally thinks I can do everything better than everyone (well, I guess I am), but I definitely knew I could make a better chocolate covered bacon treat.

After a few weeks of pondering, I came up with a plan. Today, I cooked a pound of bacon a little longer than normal so it would be especially crispy. I then crumbled it into a brownie pan and put it in the fridge. Then I melted about a pound and a half of semi-sweet chocolate chips. I then poured the melted chocolate over the crumbled bacon and spread it evenly with a spatula. I threw the brownie pan into the fridge for about an hour until the chocolate had completely hardened.

It was then ready to serve and it was delicious. I've discovered Jesus' candy. Chocolate covered bacon. Bacolate. Believe.