Tag Archives: esquire

Would you sell your dog for $1000?

From February 2006, Tom Chiarella goes out into the world with $1000 and tries to buy your laptop, your wedding ring, your wallet, your dog. He's hardly ever successful, I think because people think he is crazy.

Most of them would look up from their drinks or their food, and I found that I could tell right away whether they were even going to think about it. The ones who were tended to look past me first, over my shoulder, looking to see if I had a partner, I guess, or if there was a camera involved. They'd always ask me to repeat what I just said. And as I did, I could see them slip their hands down to their thighs and begin the process of weighing the offer.

How to make a star II

The other day Jason put a post on Kottke.org called How to make a star. I'd had one of these links up in the tabs for a couple months, and this other one I just found today, but both are related to star making.

From August of 1999 (via Stellar), a profile of Ray Manzella, something of a blonde-maker. He helped make Vanna White, Jenny McCarthy, and Pamela Anderson stars. The article mentions 3 women he thinks will be stars. I'd never heard of any of them, but according to Google, two of the three have had fairly successful careers (and one is married to baseball player Scott Podsednik). The other one doesn't seem to have a Google record at all.

Ray's a very handsome man. When people meet him, they often try to guess which movie star he looks like-Roy Scheider, Michael Douglas, Ted Danson, George Hamilton? Maybe that's why this feels so innocent, so wholesome, like he's just cheering on the team. He beams down at the photos. Any one of them might be the next Vanna, the next Pamela, the next Jenny, the next perfect Ray Manzella hybrid that becomes not just an actress but an icon you can cross-promote from movies to books to dolls to toothpaste to infomercials. They sold a million Vanna White dolls on the Home Shopping Network-a million dolls! "These girls jump off the page," he says. "They're channelstoppers, every one of them. If all three make it, it wouldn't surprise me. If not, I'm gonna quit the business."

In March, John Seabrook wrote about Rihanna's song making team in the New Yorker, really about pop music in general. There's a TON of interesting stuff in this story.

Most of the songs played on Top Forty radio are collaborations between producers like Stargate and “top line” writers like Ester Dean. The producers compose the chord progressions, program the beats, and arrange the “synths,” or computer-made instrumental sounds; the top-liners come up with primary melodies, lyrics, and the all-important hooks, the ear-friendly musical phrases that lock you into the song. “It’s not enough to have one hook anymore,” Jay Brown, the president of Roc Nation, and Dean’s manager, told me recently. “You’ve got to have a hook in the intro, a hook in the pre-chorus, a hook in the chorus, and a hook in the bridge.” The reason, he explained, is that “people on average give a song seven seconds on the radio before they change the channel, and you got to hook them.”

The top-liner is usually a singer, too, and often provides the vocal for the demo, a working draft of the song. If the song is for a particular artist, the top-liner may sing the demo in that artist’s style. Sometimes producers send out tracks to more than one top-line writer, which can cause problems. In 2009, both Beyoncé and Kelly Clarkson had hits (Beyoncé’s “Halo,” which charted in April, and Clarkson’s “Already Gone,” which charted in August) that were created from the same track, by Ryan Tedder. Clarkson wrote her own top line, while Beyoncé shared a credit with Evan Bogart. Tedder had neglected to tell the artists that he was double-dipping, and when Clarkson heard “Halo” and realized what had happened she tried to stop “Already Gone” from being released as a single, because she feared the public would think she had copied Beyoncé’s hit. But nobody cared, or perhaps even noticed; “Already Gone” became just as big a hit.

Chris Rock on Howard Stern

Chris Rock on Howard Stern

Howard Stern's a bad motherfucker, man. Whenever I talk to Howard, I always point out — and I've been trying to point this out to my wife — I know some of it you don't like, but if I had to be on six hours a day, it would be just as nasty and foul and not sophisticated. The fact that you're going to see me do an hour every four years? Reduce Howard Stern to an hour every four years, you'd have the most brilliant comedian who ever lived. It's not even close.

Via Jonah Keri

Esquire’s 70 greatest sentences

I love lists like this. An interesting piece of internet history: This piece is from 2003, which is why it was posted all on one page. If it was posted yesterday, it'd be on 70 different slides to increase page views. I like the old way better.

And too much testosterone is what causes men to commit unspeakable crimes like murder and rape and The Rock and Bad Boys. --Jeanne Marie Laskas, 'Michael Bay,' 2001

When a writer does well, the rest of the country is doing fine. --John Steinbeck, 'A Primer on the 30's,' 1960

Also, I shouldn't have to say this, but do not, under any circumstances, put Pop Rocks in your ass. --Stacey Grenrock Woods, Sex column, 2003

via ★Tim Carmody

Jay-Z’s Duality

Esquire says Jay-Z's realy talent lies in his ability to authentically relate to whomever needs relating to.
This coexisting as two things at once — luxury yet cheap, exclusive yet accessible, edgy yet mainstream — is Jay-Z in a nutshell: the gangster from the hood and the CEO in the boardroom. It is how Jay-Z has transformed himself from just another rapper with a gat to a celebrity-mogul-angel who hums advice into the loving ears of sitting governors and presidents...A big part of being authentic is being open and large enough to keep your tailbone at the dinner table and your eyes on the television in the next room, unapologetic and charming in your duality. 'Yes, I'm watching the game, but God I love your lamb!'