Unlikely Words » jack bauer

24 Season 8 Episode 23 2 PM – 3 PM and Episode 24 3 PM – 4 PM Live Blog3

aaron cohen — Tue, 25 May 2010 00:03:33 +0000

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Last episode. This has been a long ride, the last several years of which were awful. One thing I'm hoping to get better at is cutting the chord on terrible TV shows earlier. 24 hasn't been remarkable since the first season. It hasn't been good since the 3rd or 4th season. It hasn't been watchable the last 2 years. And yet I watched. I watched week in and week out. I'm a worse person because of it. I hope you can all forgive me. All that said, I'm very excited to be live blogging the FINAL 2 hours of 24.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

2:00 PM
-Interesting, 7 JBKCs for Jack Bauer in the last episode...
-Michael Madsen has an alarm that goes off whenever someone comes to the door. It must be hellish whenever the mail comes.
2:06 PM
-Michael Madsen just gave up Jack Bauer as fast as he could.
-In the 24 world, the President carries a cell phone.
-Chances that the signing for the peace agreement would happen outside in light of the terrorist attacks less than 24 hours ago. 0%
-Plausible deniablity doesn't exist in the world of 24.
2:11 PM
-"Maybe a little quicker than you thought." You've ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS got to check the back seat before you get into a car when Jack Bauer is after you.
-That guys eyes are uncomfortably close together.
2:13 PM
2:17 PM
-Tonight's 24 finale is generating a lot fewer Tweets/FB status updates than last night's Lost finale.
2:20 PM
-UN Guards don't check the back seat either.
-No surveillance cameras in the UN parking garage.
-This suturing scene is an homage to LOST!
-JBKC +1. Jack Bauer shows mercy.
2:26 PM
2:30 PM
-The construct of President Hasan's family being the biggest advocates for Meredith Reed is an interesting an unpredicted twist. Most of the words at the end of the previous sentence were a lie.
-"You wouldn't arrest someone for making false allegations." And then Dalia Hasan was like, "Ohhhhhhh."
-What happens if Dalia Hasan slaps President Taylor?
-I've just got to say... President Taylor REALLY stepped in it this time.
-"The FULL FORCE OF THE AMERICAN MILITARY." So... An attempt at detonating a bomb is grounds for the US to destroy/invade a country. Got it.
2:37 PM
2:41 PM
-Jack Bauer just picked a lock with a switchblade. Which seems impossible.
-I hope Jack Bauer uses his sniper rifle to shoot truth balloons, no one would expect that.
-What's wrong with signing the the peace agreement and THEN releasing the information?
-"Why wouldn't she be?" President Taylor is creepy.
2:49 PM
2:54 PM
2:55 PM
-Would Chloe have field training? I don't feel like she would. Her with a gun doesn't seem like a great idea.
-That key opens every door in the building.
-"Don't fight it. Don't fight it." Chloe should fake it instead.
-That's another JBKC for Jack Bauer. And the 2nd sleeper hold in 2 episodes.
2:59 PM
Fox is milking this finale for everything it's worth. We're having commercials less than every 10 minutes. Thanks, assholes.
3:00 PM
-Wait, the Russian pres knew that President Taylor knew? That is so weird.
-Via the comments: "Notice how they brought back the "events occur in real time" message...maybe the directors have been reading your blog." We'll see.
-Would the Russians really consider an assassination of the Russian President on US soil an act of war? This isn't World War 2.
-I wonder if the other world leaders ever get creeped out by Charles Logan.
3:09 PM
3:15 PM
-Places on Jack Bauer's body Chole could have shot him that would have given him a better chance
-I don't understand the chain of command regarding Chole/Pillar. Pillar was only supposed to be in charge of the Jack Bauer manhunt which apparently superseded all other CTU tasks...
3:16 PM
-That data card could be anywhere. ANYWHERE!
-Pillar is a moron if he thinks he can find a data card by frisking someone. Jesus.
-The torturer becomes the tortured.
-Jack Bauer should have told everyone in the room what was happening.
3:23 PM
3:29 PM
-I think there's a trick. I think they got the recording to the right people in a twist.
-Charles Logan is really not somebody President Taylor needs around.
-"I will take your silence as tacit approval." What they're talking about really needs to be expressed in writing.
-This data card with the video recording... That's not the audio recording, right? I don't understand.
3:33 PM
-How easy it would be for President Taylor to arrest Pillar and Charles Logan and blame everything on them? Very.
-They're about to be arrested. In 5, 4, 3, 2...
-Was Hasan ever sworn in? Did I miss that?
-Just like President Taylor to take the limelight for herself.
-Lalalala. Don't care. Can't care.
-Too late. They got Jack Bauer.
-Would be funny to see Pillar pick up the phone and put it up to the wrong ear.
-Pillar's head would have been soft from getting pistol whipped earlier.
-I wonder how many people Charles Logan has killed.
3:45 PM
3:51 PM
-I'll just use this example to complain one last time about the fact that it's 9:46 and they're saying it's 3:51 PM
-I don't think President Logan is going to make it.
3:52 PM
3:54 PM
-One more JBKC just for old time's sake.
-Orders are orders indeed.
-They just saw the drone in the sky?
-"Release Jack Bauer immediately"? Shouldn't they drop him off instead?
-President Taylor is going to shoot a Hellfire missile into NYC with a drone? Really? Really? They're allowed to use drones with missiles in the US? Really?
-That was some good CTU technology that they just used. Too bad they didn't have that for President Hasan. Too bad, indeed.
-The President telling Jack Bauer to leave the country is probably being recorded.
-FBI Agent Tim is always watching. Always judging. Always watching.
-Jack Bauer is in no condition to leave the country. He definitely needs a second to recuperate.
-Jack Bauer looking up at the drone (because he definitely knows where it is in the sky) was a nice touch.
-"Shut it down."

I don't think I have it in me to analyze the series/season except to say that stuff finally happened in this episode and that at least made it tolerable. I was still filled with a lot of questions like, why, when faced with multiple possibilities, characters always had to choose the dumbest, most incongruous option. Why technology bounced around from 10 years in the future to 10 years in the past. I'm happy we can all, finally, "Shut it down."

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24 Season 8 Episode 22 1 PM – 2 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 18 May 2010 01:03:23 +0000

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It looks as though we're actually going to get to the end of the series finally. (For those new visitors, I've been live blogging 24 for a couple years. This is sort of like one of those, 'I watch it so you don't have to.')

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

1:00 PM
-I like President Logan bowing to the TV... He wasn't such a character in previous seasons. He reminds me of Willem Dafoe in Boondock Saints.
-"I can get you as far as the pay phone. After that, you're on your own." Because after the pay phone that's where the monsters are.
-President Hasan and her adviser could probably put together the idea that maybe the Russians were behind
-Oh, we're going to talk about Freedom of the Press now? President Taylor really doesn't have any leg to stand on. She's gone down the list of shredding the Constitution.
-Here's Charles Logan promoting the idea of the Unitary Executive. Good stuff.
-This isn't a rhetorical question... Why can't President Taylor just have Charles Logan arrested?
-Come on... That's not a tablet! That's a smart phone.
1:13 PM
1:17 PM
-I hope Tim resigns...
-Lame, he's a dink.
1:19 PM
-How come Charles Logan didn't pick up the phone when Jack Bauer called him earlier?
-Now is when Jack Bauer turns into a Storm Trooper.
1:22 PM
-Why was Jack Bauer just shooting at nothing?
-That's 2 more JBKC's for Jack Bauer...
-The hockey mask is really a nice touch.We've never seen Jack Bauer as a horror movie protagonist.
1:25 PM
1:29 PM
-We're now 7 minutes after Jack Bauer shot into a cab... How come CTU hasn't heard?
-Oh. Now they've heard...
-"You didn't here? Jack Bauer just kidnapped Charles Logan."
-The dude with his eyes too close together... He's at least 4 minutes behind Jack Bauer...
-Charles Logan is very, very sweaty.
-When do you suppose the last time Logan got punched in the stomach?
-Probability that Logan was going to give up the Russian? 100%.
1:33 PM
-Part of me feels like Jack Bauer deserves 2 JBKCs for taking down an ex-President.
1:35 PM
1:39 PM
-Just heard that Meredith the reporter is married to Don Draper. So there's that.
1:42 PM
-Clearly Chloe telling Freddy Prinz in the middle of CTU is the best idea.
1:44 PM
-It strains credulity that the main Russian diplomat would have a driver with neck tattoos. Also, he was looser with the information than ANYONE in the history of 24.
-2 more JBKCs for Jack Bauer. He had no problem killing the Russian security guards. It was only the Secret Service peeps.
-Was that the same side Jack Bauer was stabbed in earlier...today?
1:50 PM
-Did Freddy Prinz just say, "He's careless, he only cares about revenge"? I'm going to pretend that's what he said.
1:51 PM
-This is a good twist. I'm pleased by this. Bringing together President Hasan's lover and President Hasan's widow.
-Could they really put Meredith Reed under arrest? Also, no Miranda Rights?
1:53 PM
-What's wrong with Charles Logan? Why can't he talk?
-How many is that? 5 more JBKCs? The wounded aid to Nabakovich was very insistent
1:56 PM
-I don't think Charles Logan would give a shit if Nabakovich was killed. Seems like that would be one more person out of the way.
-Logan really needs to do a much better job preserving plausible deniablity in the people he's serving.
-Logan really thinks that if he gets out of this he'll still be allowed "back in the game."
1:59 PM

Pretty awesome that next week is two hours, but only because that means the end of the series will come 1 week earlier. And that's something that makes me happy.

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24 Season 8 Episode 21 12 PM – 1 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 11 May 2010 01:02:03 +0000

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Four more shows! Four more shows! Four more shows! Four more shows!

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

12:00 PM
-This surveillance video doesn't really tell us very much at all.
-This guys are way to close together.
12:06 PM
-"I need to make them pay."
12:09 PM
-We're now at a point where if they haven't shown a character for several episodes, I totally forget if they're from this season or several seasons earlier...
12:10 PM
-See here they are questioning the unitary executive. Isn't that what the writers want to promote?
-That guy's eyes are REALLY close together.
12:13 PM
12:16 PM
12:22 PM
-That was pretty awesome when they privatized the office.
-It doesn't make sense to me that anyone could make the case that the Jack Bauer manhunt is the priority for CTU. Why wouldn't they just make Logan's assistant the director? Why bother splitting hairs here?
-Oh, good idea, create a mobile hotspot.
-"If we can get to him, we can expose the cover up."
12:25 PM
-Chances that the Russian dude misses whoever he shoots? 85%
12:30 PM
-Ah, the old hide the nukes in the primary schools trick!
-President Taylor seems like she's going to have a stroke.
-And President Logan seems likes a total sketchball.
12:33 PM
-Uh, oh. There are several Russians in the mall!
-Haha. Jack Bauer is hiding in plain sight! Amazing.
-Nice job bringing Michael Madsen with him.
-Really? We're having a gun fight in the middle of a mall?
-JBKC +4. That was some good shootin'.
12:36 PM
12:40
-How would the guy with the close eyes know that Pavel was captured? That was a presumption.
-Gosh, I can't even look at the dude with the close eyes.
-"This isn't your fault, sir, there were circumstances we couldn't have been anticipated, namely Bauer." That could be the sub title of the show. Peeps constantly misunderestimating Jack Bauer.
12:43
-Also, the dude with the close eyes going down to the mall is code for him being dead.
-2 block perimeter? How is 2 blocks going to be enough?
-ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT TOOK THEM THAT LONG TO GET OUT OF THE MALL?
-This show was so much fucking better when it was actually in real time.
12:45 PM
-According to the show, it took 9 minutes to get out of the mall.
-It hasn't taken anyone 9 minutes to do anything on this show in forever.
-The Russian secret agent has Russian gang tattoos.
12:47 PM
12:51 PM
-Did Jack Bauer just rip that guy's nipple off?
-"I kill your bitch, I did it."
12:54 PM
-You see? It just took close eyes about 11 minutes to DRIVE to the mall. Jack Bauer was just trying to leave it.
-Also, it would take a few more seconds to take over a crime scene...
-"I'll give you my word." In order for that to stick, Pavel has to accept.
-So... Torture doesn't work?
-Torture doesn't work. Unitary Executive bad... What show am I watching?
12:59 PM

We can't get to the end fast enough.

###

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24 Season 8 Episode 20 11 AM – 12 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 04 May 2010 01:00:56 +0000

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You know who is happiest about 24 ending? Mrs. Unlikely Words. She hates the show as much as I do. But without all the bloggy irony.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

"Previously on 24: The WORST episode of the season. Including those shitty ones at the beginning."
11:00 AM
-2 episodes in a row of water boarding!
-DB Sweeney is such a dickweed.
-So Jack Bauer is going to break Dana Walsh OUT of being tortured?
-Also, Cole dies so Dana can live, right?
-"You mean let her go?" Jack Bauer is so adamant about granting immunity to Dana Walsh. Dumb.
-Wait, where in New York are there? This is a New York I've never seen.
-I'm sure the guard on the roof would only have a pistol. That's a JBKC for the body slam. Not sure why the guy got knocked out from it, though.
-Jack Bauer has been checking a lot of pulses lately. He cares when people die.
-Is this an extended intro this week? No commercials for a while.
-That's another 3 JBKC's. The first one when Jack Bauer shot the guy he didn't know to save Starbuck. And that's another JBKC. Jack Bauer is shooting EVERYONE!
11:15 AM
11:19 AM
-Jack Bauer is constantly giving people his world.
-He needs to prove he's serious. I think he should rip her fingers off one by one.
-"No, right now I'm the only thing keeping you alive."
-Freddy Prinz, Jr is short, right? Jack Bauer is Danzig short.
-This is the year people constantly underestimated Jack Bauer.
11:30 AM
-Of all the people underestimating Jack Bauer, the Russians are the most guilty.
-Did we determine what exactly Charles Logan gains from helping the Russians?
11:34 AM
-"You're hurting me." "You'll live." Starbuck has some issues if she's complaining about Cole hurting her arm, 15 minutes after BEING WATERBOARDED!
-Also, Cole's high school friend would probably notice that Starbuck looked...tortured.
11:40 AM
-Starbuck was trying to do the right thing ever since she met Cole... I can think of a few other ways that that could have worked better.
-And now it's even crazier to try to figure how Starbuck's old boyfriend found her...
11:46 AM
Any chance this new Robin Hood movie does the arrow thing from the original Robin Hood movie?
11:51 AM
-Here are a few questions: Isn't Chloe still in charge even if this guy is leading the manhunt? Also, no one is wondering why this guy identifies Jack Bauer and then goes to get a cell phone call? Also, is it more important to grab Jack Bauer or Starbuck?
11:52 AM
-Now they're able to watch Jack Bauer on the satellite in real time?
-24 consistently goes from 2001 technology to 2020 technology hour by hour.
-How many of your knew Jack Bauer was going to kill Starbuck? He gave her his word and she didn't accept so I guess that lets him off the hook, huh?
11:59 AM

ALMOST OVER. ALMOST OVER!

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24 Season 8 Episode 19 10 AM – 11 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 01:00:08 +0000

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For some reason, when I think of 24, I think of the internment camp from 2 seasons ago... Not sure why. I hate this show. I hate it a lot.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

10:00 AM
-I sort of forgot about Jack Bauer stealing the helicopter.
-Holy shit. The Air Force helicopters got there in 30 seconds. 24 has gone from a narrative style of real-time action to a shitty action show.
-There's literally no way the cops could have known what Jack Bauer looked like.
-Ethan really needs a nap. Not only did he stay up all night at age OLD, he had a heart attack a couple hours ago...
-24 is so fucking mealy mouthed. They are constantly playing both sides of the 'ends justifies the means' arguments. Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. I don't understand the message they're trying to send to America.
10:08 AM
-I don't know why they don't force the Russians to sign the peace deal and then let the info out...
10:12 AM
10:16 AM
10:18 AM
-"I don't need the chargers." Because the phones come charged...
-Michael Madsen's not working, why not hang on 24?
10:21 AM
-I've been to New York City. There's no way ANYTHING happens in 21 minutes. This would be more believable in Syracuse.
-Is that DB Sweeney?
10:26 AM
10:30 AM
-I can't believe that DB Sweeney and Michael Madsen are in the same episode. This is cameorific.
-This episode sucks more than usual.
-I see Ethan as standing up for principles, Red States sees him as a wimpy ninny, right? Is that what's happening here?
10:37 AM
10:41 AM
10:45 AM
-Why is he carrying the bad guy? Also, I love how Jack Bauer checked the guys pulse after punching him. Who does he think he is, Chuck Norris? That's a Jack Bauer Knockdown, though...
10:52 AM
-"I know you well enough." Yeah, Jack Bauer's known Cole for 16 ~~years~~ ~~months~~ ~~weeks~~ ~~days~~ hours.
10:54 AM
10:57 AM
-I don't think waterboarding has ever been portrayed in primetime.
10:59 AM

Nothing happened this episode. Thanks for wasting my time. Again. I can't wait for this to be over.

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Possibly related posts:

24 Season 8 Episode 18 9 AM – 10 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 01:03:47 +0000

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The crying of Jack Bauer. What will come from this? You know what will come of this? AN EMMY! Actually, here's a question. What was Jack Bauer doing in New York City? He's from LA.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

9:00 AM
-Ethan is back, sprite as ever. AND he stayed up all night. Curious what kind of adrenaline they gave him at the hospital.
-"This was a highly organized effort." If it was so organized, why would they do ANYTHING they've done over the last couple hours?
9:10 AM
-Pretty awesome that the shirt and boots Jack Bauer got at the hospital (from an orderly??!?!) fit so nicely. The hospital might not try to resuscitate people who died, but it's a nice service they provide.
-The red-headed Russian was involved? It's all so circuitous.
9:14 AM
9:18 AM
-5 hours? That will get us into the last episode, right?
-Charles Logan's fist pump was pretty awesome.
-From the comments. It's AMAZING how quickly Jack Bauer got to the court from the hospital.
-This is the season where 24 went away the real time narrative style that THE WHOLE FUCKING SHOW IS BASED ON!
9:21 AM
-Jack Bauer respects Cole. I don't know how true that is.
-"It's good to be back in the game, even if it is through the rear entrance." That's a euphemism.
-Charles Logan just had a Secret Service agent reassigned for making eye contact.
9:24 AM
-"You think I'm going to kill her?" Well, yeah. We think you're going to get her to want to die.
-I can't remember Jack Bauer torturing a woman...
-No. No. No. No. Jack Bauer should NOT give Starbuck another deal. She ALREADY fucked him. Before, I was just disgusted in the show. Now I'm angry for watching it.
9:31 AM
9:32 AM
-IN 24 world, Charles Logan is the stupidest ex president of all time.
-Russian government people were giving nuclear materials to terrorists... But why?
-Ethan is going to have another heart attack.
-They should sign the peace plan and then prosecute the people inside the Russian government. Why wouldn't they do that?
-"Peace plan." This is novel. There aren't really any details about this peace plan, it's just the peace plan. Who stops fighting?
9:39 AM
I'm definitely going to see Robin Hood.
9:43 AM
-The President thinks that Chloe will be loyal to her over Jack Bauer? Doubt it!
-Chloe just hung up on the president. FYI.
-Haha. The director just told Starbuck to act like a Cylon. Nice.
9:45 AM
-9:45 AM. The President just got from wherever she was in New York City to CTU in about 6 minutes. Even with a motorcade I don't think that's possible.
-I don't think enough is being made of the fact that 24 has essentially gotten rid of the narrative style that defines the show. How awesome!
-Why is the President trying to reason with Jack Bauer instead of just telling him the truth?
-"I don't want revenge. I want justice."
9:50 AM
KFC understands marketing less than I thought. The KFC Double Down is getting tons of viral attention. Why would they bother advertising it?
9:55 AM
-Chloe talked to the President once in a while last year, right?
9:56 AM
-They do this and make it seem like Jack Bauer is going to escape.
-And there he goes.
-When Jack Bauer steals a helicopter, do you think he DEFINITELY has a place to go? Or is he just thinking it's time to escape?

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Possibly related posts:

24 Season 8 Episode 17 8 AM – 9 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 00:58:16 +0000

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Has there ever been a television show where the same plot twists are used year after year after year? That's not a rhetorical question. I really want to know the answer.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

8:00 AM
-Oh, yeah. What happens to Starbuck now that President Hasan was killed?
-They got the rods, the President is dead... What's next?
-The IRK REALLY needs a succession plan in case their president is assassinated. Then the peace plan wouldn't be in jeopardy.
-Good thing they got Adrian Brody to play the EMT who killed the terrorist. You know?
-It sure was nice for the writers of '24' to wrap this season up in 15 episodes...
-Oh, the Russians were behind everything. Glad to know it was them who suggested the convoluted idea of stealing nuclear fuel rods, threatening the President, giving up the bomb, killing the IRK President, when, you know, they could have just had the IRK's President's security chief kill him.
-The Russian is pretty blase about killing Jack Bauer. He obviously hasn't been watching the past couple seasons.
8:08 AM
8:13 AM
-Oh, good. The IRK doesn't have a succession plan at all. The president's wife can just be appointed. Good stuff. That's democracy!
8:18 AM
-Oh, yeah, Chloe O'Brien is definitely the right person to lead CTU. SHE'S NOT EVEN A FREAKING EMPLOYEE OF CTU.
-Jack Bauer says it's kissy time. KISSY TIME NOW!
-Just so we're all clear, that was Renee humping Jack Bauer in the window.
8:23 AM
-Totally missed the scene between President Taylor and the Russian dude. Hope it wasn't important.
-I think they usually give the Head of CTU a day or 2 for an investigation before they shitcan him, but I don't know. I could be wrong.
-The drug that Samir got was the slowest acting heart attack drug ever.
8:35 AM
8:39 AM
8:42 AM
-President Logan is a weirdo.
-I wonder if Logan vs Taylor is what it's like when Bush goes to visit Obama.
-Both Logan and Taylor have very, very, very blue eyes. At least in HD.
8:45 AM
8:51 AM
-Jon's right, could totally imagine Renee getting it now.
-Ahahahah. Jon's good.
-I guess Jack Bauer doesn't live too many flights up.
-I wonder if Renee lost all that weight so Jack Bauer could carry her down the stairs.
8:56 AM
-OK, so they're going to use satellite and rewind the feed 3 minutes. They couldn't do that for the blue Prius, though.
-On ER, they do CPR to keep someone alive for 45 minutes. On 24, they do CPR for 35 seconds before calling it. One of these shows is doing it wrong.
8:59 AM

Interestingly, the last 6 hours of the season will be about securing peace as opposed to chasing terrorists. Maybe. Also interesting, the titles of a third of this season's 24 posts have been wrong. Really cocked that up. Thanks for all your help figuring that out.

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24 Season 8 Episode 15 6 AM – 7 AM and Episode 16 7 AM – 8 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 00:05:21 +0000

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I can't believe they're making us watch 2 hours tonight. In the words of Ethan, "I'm begging you, don't do this."

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

6:00 AM
-Well, the tables have turned, haven't they?
-Jack Bauer is going to have to do some MacGyver stuff to get out of that room.
6:06 AM
-I like the General trying to bully the terrorist and getting hung up on...
6:09 AM
-Wow, 7 seconds. That was cutting it close.
-You can shut bombs off with a watch?
6:10 AM
6:15 AM
-Jack Bauer just put his elbow through a wire reinforced window. That's tough.
-"Can you hear me now?"
-Uh, Jack Bauer is going to take a taxi?
-Wait, didn't Jack Bauer just hail a taxi? OH, I wasn't really paying attention. He got a taxi for the other peeps.
6:20 AM
-The special forces guy is kind of dumb, huh?
-The terrorists really did trade the bomb for Hasan? Why would they do that? There's no reason for them to do that.
-The special forces dude is lucky the van wasn't booby trapped.
6:24 AM
-Does slapping by the President constitute torture? I think it does.
6:26 AM
6:31 AM
-The velocity with which
6:32 AM
-The problem with Starbuck being the mole is that she was so freaking sketchy earlier in the day that she blew her cover without blowing her cover.
-No cell phones in CTU.
6:33 AM
6:36 AM
6:41 AM
-"Jack Bauer and CTU are running the operation." You can't feel safer than that.
-How would Jack Bauer be able to catch up to them?
-Starbuck is going to kill Arlo, right?
6:48 AM
6:52 AM
-I wonder if it galls Jack Bauer to do the chase in a Hyundai. It's too bad they couldn't get Mercedes to sponsor.
6:54 AM
-The cell phones work IN the parking garage.
-Nice touch landing the truck on the passenger side of the vehicle.
-Good thing the terrorists were waiting in the parking garage.
6:59 AM
-Just so we're all clear. CTU was able to go back in time to start following a vehicle as it left a parking space. So, why don't they just go through the satellites THAT WERE ALREADY POSITIONED and follow ALL OF THE FUCKING CARS THAT LEAVE THE PARKING GARAGE. They know he's in the garage somewhere. Follow all of the cares that leave.

7:00 AM
-Starbuck is so annoying. Smug. Condescending. I hate her.
-They know which car the President was in. But they can't track it for...some reason.
-The technology swings in this show, from what they can do to what they can do does not follow any track.
7:04 AM
-Oh, good. The Russians are going to get involved.
-How did the Russians know Hasan was kidnapped?
-Jack Bauer just uploaded cell phone data from a Blackberry while driving, that technology exists. Finding a blue Prius in NYC is impossible.
7:09 AM
-Actually impressed with how good the rent a cops that guard CTU are. Usually they're the worst.
-Starbuck would have gone through the windshield because she hadn't put her seat belt on.
7:12 AM
7:17 AM
-"Not an easy task." Apparently it is possible for someone to do that.
7:19 AM
-Haha, Jono called it. Immunity. She wants immunity AND a clean record AND compensation.
-Which deal went south that Starbuck lost a lot of money on?
-"There's been enough screw ups for one day, don't you think?" Except... They would have gotten Hasan if it wasn't for her...
7:23 AM
-LOOK. There's the blue Prius right there. How hard would it be to just get all NYPD to pull over all blue Priuses in the area of the parking garage? Why do I even bother?
-Why isn't that kid in school?
-Also... Did the terrorists go through all that trouble with the fuel rods JUST to kidnap Hasan? I've got to think that if they had Hasan's head of security in their pocket, they could have just had him delivered. They CHOSE the hard way.
7:28 AM
7:32 AM
-I hate how I write this live blog. I hate that all of my criticisms have to be framed as a question. I just can't believe we're expected to believe this stuff. The US government in 24 world gives SO many grants of immunity it's disrespectful to us as viewers.
7:37 AM
-If you're a Sprint user, you get extra 24 privileges in the form of behind the scenes and extra seasons. I've no doubt that some people take advantage of that. On the other hand, I be the number of die-hard 24 fans that have switched to Sprint JUST to get that access is probably under 100... How can that be checked?
7:41 AM
-It's cool the terrorists injected something into Hasan before they started torturing him. Vitamin C, right?
-Let me tell you the most predictable way this is going to end. Either RIGHT before or RIGHT after Hasan is killed, they bust in the door.
-They're able to tell the temperature of the light which allows them to know it's sunlight. On the live stream from the internet.
7:46 AM
7:52 AM
-They're just wasting time. The terrorists have been jabbering for what, at least 7 minutes. I feel disrespected.
-Good thing CTU has that handy dandy terrorist detector, or else they wouldn't be able to find the terrorists.
-And I guess they were too late.
7:59 AM

In case you're confused about what just happened, let me explain it. The whole narrative style of the show is based on the idea of real-time action. That means, that what you see is what's happening at a specific time. Except in this case, what was happening wasn't happening in real time. It happened sometime earlier. Either that, or they let the terrorists kill Hasan and escape during the commercial break. It should be unforgivable... I hate myself for watching this show.

###

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24 Season 8 Episode 14 5 AM – 6 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 01:01:32 +0000

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All I remember from last week is that there was a firefight where 2 million rounds of ammunition were fired without anyone getting shot and Starbuck is a mole reprising a character that has appeared on what, 6 of 8 seasons? I mean... They should really try some new plot twists, these ones are tired.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

5:00 AM
-It's so awesome when you have a mole because you can to whatever you want.
-Am I off on this? Hasan's security files had tons of information on the people doing working with the nuclear rods. They had NO idea there was a mole inside CTU? Shouldn't Starbuck be in those files?
-"I can no longer guarantee the safety of Manhattan."
-Shouldn't they at least attempt some sort of evacuation.
5:07 AM
5:08 AM
5:10 AM
5:14 AM
-Wait... How did Jack Bauer get there in 4 minutes? Wasn't he on the New Jersey side of the river?
5:15 AM
-Good thing the terrorist is on a phone that's scrambled and impossible to trace. Because... The phones are only traceable when it works.
-There's got to be a much better way to stage a coup than how these guys are doing it.
-There are only 150K people in 40 square blocks? That doesn't sound like a lot of people.
-"Facts on the ground."
-"Caving to any terrorist demand weakens this nation." Unlike the last couple years when they do it?
-President Taylor just had her Independence Day moment.
5:21 AM
-Now these guys are talking about sedition. What's the difference between sedition and treason?
5:24 AM
5:28 AM
-I bet if that general knew Jack Bauer was protecting Hasan, they would think differently about trying to attack the security detail.
-FYI, 6:15 AM is the deadline.
-24 blew up a nuke in California a couple years ago. Would they blow up NYC, too? Bold.
-"He's up an against an elite team who would take him by surprise." Words to live by! Jack Bauer is going to FUCK THEM UP.
-Haha. caught in the Principal's office!
-Nice that Ethan had Jack Bauer on speed dial.
-I think he's faking a heart attack. Right?
-Why doesn't Jack Bauer call someone else?
5:36 AM
5:41 AM
-Why doesn't the wet team just use snipers instead of having a kill zone?
5:42 AM
-Or gas? Why don't they use sleeping gas.
-Why doesn't the security detail have bigger weapons?
-Why don't they all retreat? Seems like they probably could put together a pretty strong defensive position?
5:46 AM
-They were under attack for about 4 minutes without anyone radioing for help? None of this makes any sense. Also, last week there was a 40 minute firefight where no one got shot. 6 people just died in 3 minutes.
5:51 AM
-Why does Jack have smoke bomb, but no assault weapons?
-Jack Bauer Knockdown Count is + 3 for this firefight.
-+4
-I couldn't be more critical of how that firefight played out. I mean... For real. And Jack Bauer made a phone call only 10 minutes ago. Why does he need to be on street level?
5:59 AM

What can you say? The show keeps shitting on us. And we keep scooping it up to eat more. Nom nom.

###

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24 Season 8 Episode 13 4 AM – 5 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 01:04:16 +0000

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CTU is all 'sploded from electric bombz! ZOMG.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

4:00 AM
-"Full damage report." How about "EVERYTHING!"
-Why is that NSA dude, Phil, working at 4AM?
-Hasan's daughter has had a hell of a whiplash day, no?
4:08 AM
-Oh, yeah. In the previews we saw Jack Bauer kicking ass with a machine gun...
-Those other CTU dudes are definitely going to die. That's certain.
-"That's Jack Bauer! Ex-CTU, he was one of their best agents." One of their best? Er...
4:12 AM
That's more shooting than we've seen in a while...
4:16 AM
-"The pumps are down?" Why does CTU have pumps?
-Where did the NSA come from? They literally got there in 16 minutes? "The senior engineer" "best men"? Why were those guys working?
-Wait, those NSA guys are bad guys, right? Yes.. They're bad.
4:18 AM
-Where the F, did those NSA guys come from in 16 minutes?
-"A fresh batch of cell phones." Right?
-Chloe the Rhino is going to be unleashed by that NSA engineer...
-Wait, Renee is still awake? Am I the only one that realizes it's 4 AM?
4:23 AM
4:28 AM
-The parole officer is so creepy. Creepy creepy Randy Quaid.
4:30 AM
-Chloe the Rhino. See.
-Oh yeah. There's still a gun battle. "They're starting to flank us." WTF have they been waiting for?
-That CTU agent that said, "The armor's not going to hold up" is going to beak it for everyone.
-And himself.
-And now they're remaking Saving Private Ryan.
4:35 AM
4:39 AM
-Remember Jack Bauer and Cole are in the situation they're in because that CTU agent couldn't keep his shit together.
-I think the guy who plays Hasan is like 5'2", but his hair is very big.
-Tapping directly into the trunk line is a catastrophe waiting to happen. FYI.
4:42 AM
-Is Chloe even an employee of
-Oh, I get it. If Chloe fixes the trunk line, Starbuck will get busted again.
-CAN WE PLEASE JUST AGREE THAT CTU ISN'T TALKING TO PAROLE OFFICERS DURING A CRISIS?!?!?!?!?!
4:46 AM
Hearing predictions that Chloe dies tonight. I said that would be shocking. Get it?
4:50 AM
-Hastings just gave the NSA dude a look like, "I told you."
-Chloe getting electrocuted could happen. I could see that.
4:52 AM
-"I'm in command here, you understand?"
-Jack Bauer got shot in the bullet proof vest, what's the big deal...
-Good thing Renee found them..
-"Still got a real good shot at finding them." WTF, they went across the river about 40 minutes ago.
-"I'm not good with praise."
4:56 AM
-Oh, Starbuck.
-She's going to kill him.
-Killed.
-How long exactly can you leave a creepy parole guy in the wall?
-Oh, of course. Starbuck is the mole. That's a pretty new plot twist. They haven't done that in 2 seasons or something.
4:59 AM

You just. I can't. What. No. I can't. This show is 8 seasons old and in at least half of the seasons, the lead terrorist prevention organization in the country has had a mole. They need better fucking background checks. I can't blame the writers, they may be totally disrespectful of me, but it's my own fault, right? Bullshit.

###

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24 Season 8 Episode 12 3 AM – 4 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 01:04:38 +0000

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Last week there was the best "Scenes from next week" preview in 8 seasons. Not sure why it took them so long. I'm not sure why I'm still watching. News came this week that the show was getting canceled. One can only hope it gets canceled in the middle of this episode.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

3:00 AM
-Well, that's a big change. You think Hasan's daughter might be rethinking her choices now?
-Also, what's with this rogue police Sargent?
3:08 AM
-The hotel only has one camera?
-5 NYPD just went down from the super terrorist.
-Jack Bauer can't see there's no one in the cab? He got hoodwinked!
-That last scene there. The terrorist called the other terrorist doing
3:11 AM
3:15 AM
-"Electronic intercept team." Last week they were behind the times. Now I bet they're about to be ahead of them.
-Starbuck is the worst CTU agent of all time. Leaving in the middle of a shift. Constant cell phone usage. Visitors....
-Starbuck is a pretty good liar I guess.
-They were able to pull prints from the break in from about 6 or 7 hours ago? AMAZING!
3:22 AM
3:27 AM
-If Starbuck ends up killing the parole officer... Well, then.
-Are they going to say they can't pinpoint the location of the phone because the walls are too thick?
-I guess they probably shouldn't have made them put the File 33 onto the screen in front of everyone.
-Why don't they send File 33, an edited version.
-Oh, Jack Bauer is way behind me.
3:33 AM
-Here's another thought. The nuclear codes probably should have some sort of failsafe so in this type of situation, they could just...change the codes.
-Why do they put the girl right in the window and then talk in front of it?
-I'm curious who is in charge in all of this. It seems like the head of security would be the one on top.
3:35 AM
3:39 AM
-Starbuck keeps screwing this up.
-Here's the future technology happening right now.
-I'm sure the parole officer definitely takes precedent in the national security crisis.
3:45 AM
-The master terrorist has a soft spot. I know it. I bet he gets shot.
-Just so we're clear, this is the same master terrorist that took out 5 NYPD Swat peeps.
-Yup. Shot. What did I say?
3:47 AM
3:51 AM
-When you're a terrorist and you lose your leverage, you must have this giant sinking feeling in your chest...
3:53 AM
-The terrorists escaped in 5 minutes and no one saw anything. No one can move that fast. They brought all their equipment and everything.
3:56 AM
-Can't she use some obscure terroristic protection law to detain the parole officer.
-It was all a set up. The bombs are in the car they escaped in!
-I TOLD YOU!
-Dana takes the car out.
-They had 16 seconds and they could have moved the car. Why did it take them so long?
-Also, why use an EMP instead of a giant bomb? Wouldn't a bomb be easier to get than an EMP?
-Also, who knew CTU was so close to downtown New York?
4:00 AM

It definitely would have been better if Dana tried to get the EMP out of the tunnel and then died while failing. Or maybe not died. Again, this episode was better than the rest of the season, but it was still so full of stupid.

###

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24 Season 8 Episode 11 2 AM – 3 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 01:56:40 +0000

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Sigh. I don't know if this can go on. I say that, but I don't know if I mean it.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

2:00 AM
-Just realized I haven't been paying attention. I don't think I've missed anything.
-So we should have some sort of climax with the bomber by 2:40 AM.
-HAHAHAHA. Starbuck is going to break up with Freddy Prinz, Jr because he's not the man she fell in love with. That is AWESOME.
-Starbuck and Cole are the best at what they do. I disagree. Strong.
2:08 AM
2:13 AM
-I just want say that it figures that there's no CTU perimeter around the hospital. Also, it figures the terrorist could just hack into the hospital security. Also, it figures that Jack Bauer would just hang out there, not much more he could be doing?
-"On the systems ethernet port." OK.
2:15 AM
-Wait, if this guy just wants to talk... That's going to keep him from fiddling with his detonator, right?
-Also, why is he looking at the camera? How does he know where it is? Also, why doesn't Jack Bauer get his Imam friend from DC on the phone?
2:18 AM
These commercials for Justified on FX make me want to watch Deadwood again.
2:23 AM
-That lady is soaking wet. Are they in a sauna? Why is she soaking wet?
-In this world, not answering the phone means you CAN'T check voicemail. Hassan should have someone calling her phone every 2 minutes until she picks up.
-Hassan sort of talks like Sean Connery.
2:26 AM
-Man. Too bad it took Markos' mother over an hour to leave the house. Otherwise they wouldn't have been able to use her.
-Also, the door should be opened in around 12 minutes.
2:29 AM
2:33 AM
2:34 AM
-Oh man, it's that guy. I guess Starbuck's still using her cell phone at CTU.
2:37 AM
-Seriously. I think I hate Starbuck more on this show than I did on BSG. Actually. I don't know if that's true because Starbuck did an awesome job of not making me care about her story earlier in the year.
-Markos doesn't really seem to have the constitution for this type of adventure... He's conflicted.
-The they way they give out immunity on this show, why didn't they offer Markos immunity or something?
-That was some awesome Jack Bauer quotations. Stuff like, "If you knew who I was and what I've done in my life..." "What happens to your mother is because of you. Only you." "Truth is, I'm not really. Not anymore. I'm a specialist they brought in for the day."
-I think we'll give Jack Bauer a JBKC for that. Pushing Markos into the chamber with 3 seconds left.
2:49 AM
2:53 AM
-Shouldn't Jack Bauer have confirmed that Hassan was alone before saying "Your Director of Security is in charge of the fuel rods."
2:55 AM
-That guy just took the FASTEST shower EVER. How did he do that?
3:00 AM

I'm happy to report that this was the best episode in weeks. Also, the scenes from next week with what was going to happen at different times was quite compelling. How did it take them 178 episodes to decide that would be a good way to do the scenes from next week?

###

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24 Season 8 Episode 10 1 AM – 2 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 02:01:45 +0000

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I'm really not sure why I keep watching. I really don't. And I know you don't want to read me talking about that, but for some reason I can't stop watching. I think it's tradition. I think it's nostalgia. Regardless of the lead-in saying, "24 keeps getting better," it really isn't. It keeps getting worse. And worse. And worse.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

1:00 AM
-I missed what the dude that looks like Tony Almeda was saying.
-Is he a bad guy?
-Freddy Prinz and Starbuck are a BAD team.
1:07 AM
-"Your brother has no reason to lie...We have to assume he's telling the truth." Uh... if this is true, if they really think this, the government in 24land is crazy as balls.
-Isn't it likely that Fahrad just wants to figure out who the agents are?
1:10 AM
1:12 AM
1:17 AM
-Seriously? Seriously? Jason Schwartzman made it that easy to get shot?
-And CTU can't find the rest of the peeps? Gah!
1:19 AM
-This happened last season. The guy's dying and they keep him alive so he can be interrogated.
-Good to see Cisco is still a sponsor.
-"10s of thousands"? Is there any square mile in Manhattan that ONLY has 10s of thousands of people?
-If CTU thinks the rods aren't in Manhattan, why don't they shut down all entry into Manhattan? They've done that before. Not CTU, no, the real government.
1:23 AM
-That dude is probably going to kidnap the daughter and blackmail the president, right?
-Also, why did it take so long to download the files?
1:25 AM
1:29 AM
-Oh yeah, I totally forgot about the CTU agents covering up a murder scene. You know why? Because this side story is stupid and boring.
-"Let's get the other body and get cleaned up before heading back to CTU." Er... You probably have blood on you and you DEFINITELY just got lake all over yourself. How do you expect to get cleaned up?
-"What about us?" Well, you know what they say, when you cover up a couple of murders with your fiance, that relationship probably isn't going to last.
1:32 AM
1:34 AM
-"The hook has been baited." Good to know CTU talks in metaphors.
1:35 AM
1:39 AM
-Shouldn't President Taylor say something like, "I'm sorry your brother died."
1:42 AM
-Ah man. THIS happened last year too. The hospital attack.
-Well, I assume CTU isn't expecting a suicide bomber. Just saying.
-SERIOUSLY? Renee is calling him now and Jack Bauer's picking it up?
-It took a season and a half, but Jack Bauer is finally going to go for it with Renee.
-Owen the CTU Agent is kind a weak link, isn't he?
-It seems like that dude holding the detonator in his hand like that... Would be so easy to just flip it out of his hand.
-It's pretty awesome that CTU can disarm the detonator from afar. I mean... Why are they worried about the nuclear rods, just disarm the detonator on the bomb.
1:51 AM
-What the hell do they need to see the vest for?
-Maybe those guards should put their helmet on?
1:54 AM
-DDR configuration? Er... The East Germans didn't use suicide vests.
-Owen's going to get it, too.
-He's going out the window.
-Smart enough to go into a hyperbaric chamber?
-Just take the screws off the door.
2:00 AM

None of this changes the fact that Owen is almost certainly going to die before the end of the season.

###

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24 Season 8 Episode 9 12 AM – 1 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 02:02:53 +0000

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I totally missed last week, and you know what? I don't care. This season has been the worst of them all and it's going on the same track as all the other seasons. I posit that that I can start watching this week and it won't be a big deal. Apparently, Jack Bauer killed some peeps last week. Anyone know how many?

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

12:00 AM
-I'm surprised the father flipped so quickly. He used to be so cold-blooded. 3 hours ago.
-Why would it take so long to trace the cell phone call? That was like 3 minutes or so.
-Here's the technology CTU just showed us. They want to trace a cell phone call and they can't do it after 3 minutes. But there's a cell phone left on on the ground, and they catch a snippet of a conversation, 10 seconds maybe, and they can figure out who it is? That seems...far fetched.
-Wait, Jack Bauer and Renee?
12:08 AM
-Ooooh. Agro security adviser is agro.
-My guess is that Jack Bauer gets into it with Kristin Smith. That's just me.
12:10 AM
12:14 AM
-STILL don't care about the Starbuck storyline. 24 hasn't done a good job of creating sympathy in her character.
12:16 AM
-Party van.
-So Starbuck couldn't stand up to the ex-boyfriend, but she's going to kill 4 people instead of letting them get arrested?
-Good stuff!
-So Kristin Smith want's to restrict surveillance of the interview, but she also wants video record... Hmmmm. Uh. That makes my head bend.
12:19 AM
-Fahrad is getting couped out, huh?
-BOOOOOOOOORRRRRRING. We've already seen the
-"Even a giant can get toppled by a single stone." I don't understand any of this. Basically Fahrad's plan was to have the weapons in case the US wanted to invade. And they're saying that if they use the weapons the US will invade. How does blowing up a bomb make the US not invade?
12:22 AM
Just a warning. I got put on notice that if Ice Dancing comes on, the 24 Live Blog will be put on hold.
12:27 AM
-Jack Bauer said he'd be there by now.
-Oh, there he is.
12:31 AM
-Well, we'll give Jack Bauer a JBKC for that security guard.
-Where's Hastings?
-Jack Bauer TASERED. And from I saw last week. Tasered again.
12:32 AM
-That was Fahrad's plan? Knock the dude out and run away? What is he afraid of? I mean... Is he trying to get away? Or is he trying to find people to get his rods back.
12:35 AM
12:39 AM
-Jack Bauer's "I'll call the President" card just got played.
-How does Fahrad have a secure phone?
-This... doesn't make any sense. Why is Fahrad so eager to get away from the rods?
12:42 AM
-Starbuck and Freddy Prinz, Jr are... this is awful TV. Just awful.
12:45 AM
12:49 AM
-These terrorists aren't very good. And Fahrad is stupid. He should have called CTU while he was with the terrorists and told them how to find the rods. And also, how did he have CTU's cell phone? There's so much bad of this show.
-Agent Owen is going to die. He's like the guy in Star Trek that was always going to die after getting teleported.
-Jack Bauer was a director of CTU? Really? When?
-"Kevin promised..." Er, Starbuck is dumb.
-"What's in your hand?" Freddy Prinz is a bad agent if he's just now finding her gun.
-HOW DOES A CONVICTED FELON GET HIRED AT CTU?
-What kind of accent is Freddy Prinz using? I've never heard it.
-Kevin's buddy is not right... I mean... What would he think he could do to Starbuck?
-And I guess Starbuck still loves him, huh?
12:59 AM

Just so you know, I'm shaking my head in disgust.

###

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24 Season 8 Episode 7 10 PM – 11 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 02:02:15 +0000

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I've been ambivalent about a TV show before, so I know how ambivalence feels. This is not ambivalence. This is disdain. I'm probably going to miss the show next week and I don't care. I may or may not watch it later in the week. Who knows? I hope 24 is better tonight, but I bet it won't be.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

10:00 PM
-Why would the adviser come up to the President and say congratulations on the unanimous support, and then say "well, almost unanimous."
-"There are unsecured nuclear materials in play." That's how a President speaks?
-Jack Bauer's disguise glasses are ridiculous.
-No cell phones in CTU.
-The show was like, "OK, this year we're going to make Renee look more like Lindsay Lohan." I've been making that joke every year, but... Well, does she have so many freckles?
10:08 PM
-I'm really hoping Starbuck gets busted and CTU makes a no cellphones rule for next year.
-Maybe it's a trap, though I can think of several million ways she could have gotten him busted without going through all this trouble.
10:12 PM
10:16 PM
10:18 PM
-"Where I end up, I don't care, but this boy is with the angels."
10:29 PM
-Why does President Hasan have ridiculous glasses as well?
-Here is 24's annual depiction of torture as bad and evil. To what end does this serve the purpose of the writer's of 24.
-Now the cousin will get arrested. Watch.
-They leave guns loaded in the evidence room, loaded with water that is!
-Did we figure out what Starbuck would have access to this stuff? All the schematics for the evidence warehouse?
10:36 PM
Oh, it's a Toyota 'we're sorry' commercial...
10:40 PM
-Well now, this whole scenario was unexpected...
-AHAHAHAHAAAA
-Just to go over that again. Renee got slapped, then full on punched. Then she grabbed the sausage knife and stabbed Vladimir in the eye, then Jack Bauer came in and she stabbed him in the gut and he looked like he was down and out before the Red headed Russian came in and Jack Bauer threw the sausage knife perfectly into his throat. Then Jack Bauer shot through the wall to kill the other Russian. That's 2 JBKCs giving Jack Bauer 7 for the season. In reality, the sausage knife would have bounced off the wall 2 feet from the Russian. Just saying.
10:46 PM
10:50 PM
-I like how Hastings is like "HE WAS OUR ONLY LEAD." Basically because he was Russian and there was another Russian... It wasn't a very solid lead to begin with.
10:54 PM
-Jack Bauer couldn't have thought of anything else like both of them hiding? Or going out the back? Or anything? This was the best plan? "Have them start tracking me from the air."
-"The Russians took him, the ones with the nuclear materials." That was obvious?
-You knew when Jack Bauer specifically mentioned they could track him from the air that that was going to be a problem, right?
10:59 PM

For you a completely shocking 15 seconds of violence might make up for a terrible season, not me though. Maybe this day will only be 12 hours long instead. I can dream anyway, right?

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###

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24 Season 8 Episode 6 9 PM – 10 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 00:49:08 +0000

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Last week was a snoozer, hopefully we'll get something better tonight. Actually, I have little faith I'll be at all interested this season. The story arc is set (4 more hours until a showdown at the pier, where disaster will be narrowly averted, at which point a bigger threat will be identified). Remember a couple seasons ago when they set off the nuke in California? That's the last time 24 surprised me, though I suppose the attack on the White House was unexpected. But only because it was so far out of the realm of possibility as to be absurd.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

9:00 PM
-What do you get for the former 24 live blogger who just doesn't care about 24 anymore?
-You see? You see what's happening with Starbuck. This is one of the reasons anti-terrorism employees aren't allowed to use cell phones at work.
9:05
-Yaaaawwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
-You know, Jono and I keep talking about how this season is just like all of the other seasons. It's not, though, it's so MUCH more boring. I thought we were going to have something when they blew up a helicopter in NYC on the first night.
9:11
9:15
-This Russian family has 3 different types of accent. Father has thick accent, one son no accent, 2nd son some type of accent...
-I can't threaten to quit, you won't believe me, but this season of 24 sucks.
9:23 PM
9:27 PM
-Oh no, we're going to back to the President Taylor storyline. Where she is mad at a president who is cracking down on traitors!
-None of this makes any sense. None of it.
9:29 PM
-Oh, now President Hasan is acting loopy.
-Why does Starbuck keep taking out her Bluetooth when she needs to talk on her cell phone? DOES SHE NOT HAVE ANOTHER EAR?
9:31 PM
-I hate Chloe.
-They're DOING THIS RIGHT IN THE PARKING LOT. AND THERE'S ONLY 3 CARS THERE!!!?!?!?! THIS SHOW IS MAKING ME CRAZY.
-Yeah, see, right there, you see that? Arlo looking at Starbuck breaking tons of laws? That's why none of this makes any sense...
-Er... Did she need to wash the bug down the drain? Why? I don't understand.
-I really don't understand anything that's happening this year.
9:37 PM
9:41 PM
9:42 PM
-So when the President's top security guy has a problem... He needs to call the President's daughter...
-This is something of a surprise. In fact I'm more shocked that I'm shocked.
-The Russian's dad is cold-blooded. And the Russian mobsters are pretty good if they can just find dudes at any health clinic in the NY metro area...
9:46 PM
-Interestingly, they're both speaking German with an American accent. But, good on Keifer speaking Deutsch for so long...
9:48 PM
9:53 PM
-The thing is... Renee is sort of making sense. Don't kill the buyer so that we can make bigger deals. But she never said, 'don't kill the buyer so that we can make bigger deals.' This show is awful.
-Jack Bauer gets a JBKC for knocking that dude down. I think that's #5, right?
-The father shooting the brother just to prove a point is... well, that's what happens on 24, huh?
9:59 PM
10:00 PM

Looks like Jack Bauer shoots some people next week, or at least shoots at some people... I really don't remember the season being this bad at this point last year. What is wrong with me? Why am I watching this? Oh yeah, I'm watching it so you don't have to.

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24 Season 8 Episode 5 8 PM – 9 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 01:43:57 +0000

Looks like we're headed to another long season of predictable and underwhelming drama with brief moments of impossible to believe stupidity. Jack Bauer has 3 JBKCs this season, will he go for a couple more tonight?

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords. I count the number of people Jack Bauer knocks down (JBKCs), and this year, I'll also be counting the number of times someone says, damn it. (If I remember.) As always, let me know what you think in the comments!

Subscribe by RSS, or follow us on Twitter, or subscribe by email

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

8:00 PM
-Hasan's security forces did a pretty good job of finding the traitors in the government pretty quickly. Where were they YESTERDAY?
-5 hours from now? I guess that'll be another pseudo climax...
-There are probably 50 different blowtorches with which to cauterize that Russian dude's wound, so... why are they using acid/gasoline or whatever Jack Bauer just dumped on it?
-There had to be a better way to get that guys thumb off. No?
-Jack Bauer's "Not anymore" about the bracelet was pretty good.
-There's no way that CTU hires a convicted felon. Or someone who is using a fake background. There just isn't. On top of that, I couldn't care less about Starbuck's story arc.
8:11 PM
-Did you notice the stunning lack of Scott Brown/Martha Coakley commercials? You did if you're watching this in MA.
8:15 PM
-Is Jack Bauer using an iTablet while driving?
8:19 PM
-President Taylor is a ridiculous president. Isn't sedition and being a traitor a capital offense in the US? Why would she care if it is in another country?
8:21 PM
8:22 PM
8:26 PM
-"I'm your wife, damn it." What are odds that Hasan's wife is somehow involved in the plot?
-I'm having trouble coming up with any of the plot lines this season that I give a shit about.
8:30 PM
-Holy crap, it's another Cylon.
-How many BSG actors are on 24 now?
8:37 PM
-If Dana Walsh's cover was good enough to get a job at CTU, why doesn't she just call the cops and get those dudes arrested? She could just deny everything they said, right?
8:43 PM
-I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.
-Why doesn't communications technology work in an armored car?
8:48 PM
-Is that Andy Samberg on 24?
8:55 PM
-If Jack Bauer is following a decoy, then they'd be doing that to see if they were being followed. They would have been looking for them.
-Sheesh. Seriously?
-How many years have passed between this season last season? How did Renee get so batshit insane in like 8 months or so?
8:59 PM

Wow, I was hoping 24 would deliver something at least pretty good this week, and instead they just took a giant dump in a diaper and threw it up on the TV. Why would they do that to us? Why? Why? Don't they care about us anymore?

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24 Season 8 Episode 3 6 PM – 7 PM and Episode 4 7 PM – 8 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 00:32:11 +0000

Let's give this another shot, shall we? I wasn't wowed by 24 last night, and the 24 Live Blog ran into some technical difficulties and was largely unavailable during the first hour. Hopefully we can avoid that tonight and just have some fun. Ugh. As if watching 24 is fun.

This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords. I count the number of people Jack Bauer knocks down (JBKCs), and this year, I'll also be counting the number of times someone says, damn it. (If I remember.) As always, let me know what you think in the comments!

Subscribe by RSS, or follow us on Twitter, or subscribe by email

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

6:00 PM
-While watching the scenes from yesterday, I'm thinking that Hastings could be trouble. If he plays so fast and loose with the rules, and Jack Bauer can so easily convince him to let him follow up on Mike/Davros, wouldn't it be easy to corrupt him in other ways?
-Also, Freddie Prinz, Jr FTW!
-Jack Bauer doesn't have a lot of experience playing basketball. That much is clear.
-Jack Bauer is constantly getting himself into situations where people think he did something he didn't do.
-TASER!!!!!!
6:11 PM
6:17 PM
6:18 PM
-Totally shocked that there weren't any Brown or Coakley ads during that last commercial break.
-Ask me how much I care about Starbuck's storyline? Go ahead, ask me.
-"If you're gonna beg, I wanna here you say my name, like you used to." That's a little naughty for 8PM, isn't it?
-Jono says, "Anyone can just park on top of CTU." Apparently it's easy to find as well, and it's employees are very easy to find out about as well. Also, they're able to use their cell phones at work.
6:24 PM
-Haha. Jack Bauer is going to get tortured in the basement by an angry cop. Who is going to see this and think it's a good idea?
-Also, how hard would it be for the cops to call CTU before they started beating the crap out of him?
6:26 PM
-Davros is shorter than ALL the other cops.
6:27 PM
6:31 PM
-Hasan does the right thing. Against the contrast of President Taylor doing the wrong thing.
-That was the first time I've been surprised by something on 24 in 7 years!
6:36 PM
-You know Mike/Davros is Horace Goodspeed from Lost, right?
6:36 PM
-Jack Bauer breaking the chair against the wall was pretty awesome.
6:44 PM
-So, the fact that they've just decrypted the file and found what they think is a bomb in the United Nations is the exact reason that they would have evacuated the president as soon as a threat to anyone was identified.
-Hasan's short Jason Schwartzman brother is so ridiculous. His hair just makes the whole thing unbelievable.
6:47 PM
-I don't want to keep harping on this, but in 24 world, the president was attacked at some point in the recent past. The security around her would be amazingly tight.
6:52 PM
-Wait, Freddy P is going to drive himself? Er...
6:54 PM
-Doesn't Freddy P have a radio to say, "Stop the motorcade now?"
7:00 PM
-Good.
-Has Jack Bauer not had a chance to pass the word about Mike Farmer?
-Apparently not.
-Freddy P, you gotta take back up!
-Should Jason Schwartzman really be calling the assassin now?
-I can think of over a million different ways Jason Schwartzman could have escaped besides sticking a pen into his bodyguard's neck.
-By the way, I forgot to give Jack Bauer a JBKC for knocking that cop down. That's number 3.
-And that's JBKC #4 for Jack Bauer.
7:11 PM
-Wait Hastings just called it the Islamic Republic. It is Kamistan or the Islamic Republic.
7:13 PM
7:17 PM
-Knowing the freakout over the Underwear Bomber, can you imagine if this happened in real life?
-Didn't Jack Bauer just get the hell beaten out of him 40 minutes ago?
7:21 PM
-It would have been awesome if Davros was a bomb.
7:22 PM
7:27 PM
-Renee is all Lindsay Lohaned out. Interesting.
7:28 PM
-President's Hasan's hair is gigantic. I'm just noticing that now.
-These Kamistani men have crazy, crazy hair.
7:32 PM
-I am pretty curious to see how exactly Renee was undercover with the Russians and how she get out from cover while keeping it intact.
7:35 PM
7:40 PM
-Zing! Take that Hastings. Meredith Reed gives as good as she gets.
-Meredith Reed could be the scorned women of all scorned women, but she's handling it like a big girl. Go you!
7:42 PM
-"Not with nuclear weapons on the line!"
-Wow, the Russian mobster is cold blooded. Using his son as evidence.
7:47 PM
7:52 PM
-They're still using PDAs? Really? At least they're not saying smart phone this year.
-Renee is such a downer!
-Dana Walsh's stalker boyfriend is the reason CTU employees shouldn't be allowed to use cell phones while they're working.
7:56 PM
-Renee is such a flirt!
-I totally lost track of whether Jack Bauer said 'Damn it' tonight.
-Renee cutting a chunk out of that dude's arm was unexpected...
7:59 PM

One more JBKC for Jack Bauer tonight moving him up to 3. It's awesome how they can keep reusing the same scripts every year. One terrorist does something bad in the first 4 hours leading to a plot that is solved in the first 6-12 hours, which uncovers an even more sinister plot, which is then solved in the 23 hour. See if that doesn't play out this year.

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24 Season 8 Episode 1 4 PM – 5 PM and Episode 2 5 PM – 6 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 01:03:54 +0000

It's time again for the 24 Live Blog. I've been pretty ambivalent about whether or not to do it again this year as the quality of the show keeps deteriorating. And yet, there's something that won't let me quit. I'm going to give it a go tonight and tomorrow to see if I've still got it, and we'll see.

In case you're new, this 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords. I count the number of people Jack Bauer knocks down (JBKCs), and this year, I'll also be counting the number of times someone says, damn it. (If I remember.) As always, let me know what you think in the comments!

Subscribe by RSS, or follow us on Twitter, or subscribe by email

We'll get going below the fold at 9PM EST.

4:00 PM
-Here go. Drugs, huh?
-Those assassins are inept. Peeps need to hire better employees.
-Jack the Grandpa... Can he save the world from granddaughters?
-Fox News, really?
-Kim looks a little doughy.
-"My father is not the type of person you ask twice." That's foreshadowing.
-I can't remember how exactly things ended with Ethan last year, but it's an understatement to say I'm surprised he's still around.
4:11 PM
-Massive technical failure preventing any live blogging. Apparently, the Jersey Shore Nickname Generator takes up too much resources for DreamHost to handle… Ugh
4:17 PM
-The foreign president Hasan is a Casanova! That's an unprofessional relationship with the press.
-Well, Jack is yelling, 21 minutes in. Not a bad ratio.
4:23 PM
-Cole Ortiz. What a terrible name.
-Oh, hey, it's Starbuck! Why is she dressed ready to go out? That's, uh, terribly unprofessional.
-Chloe! Yay!
-They use drones in New York City in 24? That doesn't seem like a good idea.
-I've just realized I have absolutely no idea how last season ended, except that there was an attack on the White House and Jack Bauer won. Do we know how many years removed we're from last season?
4:30 PM
4:36 PM
-I wonder if Jack Bauer still has President Taylor's telephone number.
-Did they just say the name of the country was "The Islamic Republic?"
-"Sent our daughter to prison…", divorce. That is a lot of turmoil for a sitting president.
-Err, if they're deciding whether to tell Hasan before the press conference or after, why don’t they just do everything quietly, sign the papers, and then not do the press conference?
4:39 PM
-What are the chances that this helipad pick up goes without a hitch? There's no chance it does. 0 chance.
-Jack Bauer has his man purse, but no surgery kit, apparently. That's unfortunate.
(And then I lost track of time…)
-The obvious point is that marriages that are just a façade are not unique to the US.
4:52 PM
-President Taylor, still making terrible strategic decisions in season 8.

-Well, that's 'Damn It' #1 from Jack Bauer…
-"We're under attack!"
-Did Starbuck use a Sidekick to manage that screen just now?
4:56 PM
-WOAH! First Jack Bauer Knockdown of the season and it's a doozy. 2 for 1. JBKC 1 and 2.
-Yeah, see, that's exactly what I was expecting. Someone firing a surface to surface shoulder fired rocket from another building. That happens in downtown NYC all the time.
-Jack Bauer has so little faith in CPR it's astonishing…
-Oh! The country is Kamistan, not the Islamic Republic.
5:00 PM
-Wait, I just thought about this… They heard the hit is going to happen during the press conference. Wouldn't that be a threat to President Taylor, too?
-So CTU Dude Hastings is the Don Rumsfield of CTU Dudes?
-You might recognize Hastings as Don King from 'Ali'.
-The Secret Service must have some protocols we don't know about. Just because the threat is to a different president, shouldn't they get the US president out of there?
5:09 PM
-Just wanted to point out it's awesome they got Jason Schwartzman to play the president's brother/adviser.
5:14 PM
-Chloe is having issues in the new and fast CTU.
5:16 PM
-The CTU NYC office reminds me of the headquarters from Alias.
-Not much of a secret headquarters if Kim knows where it is...
5:21 PM
- I can't take Hasan's brother seriously with that hair.
-I've got a way for Hasan to get assassinated. The traitorous brother can just do it himself instead of initiating a conspiracy. More risk, but way more certainty. The show could be done in an hour.
5:24 PM
-I can't take Starbuck seriously when she's dressed in a party dress... And, apparently Arlo can't take her seriously either...
5:34 PM
-Chloe has NEVER asked for help ever. Also, funny that Morris got laid off.
-Kim knows that if you love someone, you have to let go (them fight terrorists).
5:37 PM
5:42 PM
5:44 PM
-"CTU has drones all over the city." What the!?
-Kim knows that there's no reason to worry about letting Jack come to LA after his work is done... All of his big projects the last several years have been done in under 24 hours.
-Wait, they're trying to figure out where that Russian dude went? Wasn't it clear from the surveillance photo that he was getting into a cab?
5:46 PM
-Someone works at CTU with a fake identity? Err... Why do I watch this show!?
5:52 PM
5:53 PM
-Fake regular accent from the assassin!
5:54 PM
-CTU NYC is so high tech these days.
-If Jack Bauer went into the armory to oget a gun, why didn't he just get a holster also?
-Jack Bauer has gotten into it with so many different directors of CTU it's absurd. At some point he's going to need his own team.
-I don't know why I'm watching this show.

Very convenient that the assassin is going to be on the UN security detail. It's weird that he dropped the accent after pulling the gun on his friend. This premier wasn't as good as the premiers from the last couple years. Not sure what it was. I might not have it this year. Tomorrow better be good...

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24 Season 7 Episode 23 6 AM – 7 AM and Episode 24 7 AM – 8 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:27:09 +0000

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Alright folks, this one's for all the marbles. What better way for us to celebrate than for me to be absent for the final Live Blog of the season. I'm on an island off the coast of Puerto Rico, and if you're reading this, I wasn't able to find a TV playing the last 2 episodes. Comments are open and I hope you think of this as YOUR live blog. I'll put up a show review with my thoughts on the 24 finale when I get a chance to see the episodes.

I'll need you guys to keep count of the JBKCs (or Jack Bauer Knockdowns) and the number of times someone says "damnit". I'd ask you to count the stupid things that happen, but no one can count that high. In any case, have fun.

We do talk a lot about '24' here, here are some links.
Season 7 Episode 20
Season 7 Episode 21
Season 7 Episode 22
This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

6:00 AM
-The Deputy Attorney General is doing a deposition at 6:00 AM? That seems forced.
-And here's the President, she ought to have at leas taken a nap.
6:05
-This guy Bob is a character.
-Former CTU Agent Kim Bauer. Clueless.
6:06
-This is ridiculous. Jack Bauer is just going to do that.
-What was Tony going to do?
-She's like, "What are you bringing Bauer for", because she knows how dangerous it is.
-Jack Bauer is a bio-weapon, but this is ridiculous.
6:11
6:16
-Good thing, they haven't changed the thumb prints.
-What would Ethan's excuse be for being there?
-Files? That's it. Weak.
6:19
-Can the Chief of Staff detain someone?
-"He stole my property, Aaron." Really? Property? Is she in 5th Grade?
6:22
-Why hasn't anyone sent anyone to the airport yet?
-Renee Walker was pretty blase about Agent Franks dying, huh?
-"Electric tooth brush"? Or vibrator?
6:25
-It's pretty awesome. Kim Bauer is as terrible an actress as Elisha Cuthbert.
-I can't go through security with my nail clipper and these peeps had a gun and a knife? Unbelievable.
-Haha. The low battery forces Kim into action. Kim is the only traveler, ever, to not charge her cell phone when stuck at the gate. I don't know about this show.
6:28
6:32
-Olivia is playing with a really, REALLY weak hand.
-What is she threatening him with? Like, if he does have the recording, what was his crime?
-The Chief of Staff can't order a criminal investigation. I don't think he can be searched without a warrant.
-I bet that was a duplicate card.
-I hate Olivia.
6:35
-Yeah, duplicate card.
-"A companion device to the recorder in my car." That's totally reasonable.
6:37
-Why are those guys wearing masks?
-Is this '24' or 'X-Files'?
6:40
6:44
-Why is that guy Martin just walking around at 6:44? Didn't he go back to bed?
-The FBI couldn't tap into the airport cameras? Of course they could, it would just make things too easy.
-Are those airport cops bad, too?
6:47
-That guy was good enough to shoot both cops while driving after being shot in the leg? And charming.
-"With a D11 inverse router..." Oh, now she's smart again.
6:49
6:54
-Pretty cool that the dude's car has a USB input. I'd like that.
6:55
-Spinal tap Jack Bauer getting another 3 JBKCs!
-3+38=41 JBKCs.
-Haha, try to harvest his organs into bio-weapon with your neck broken, Doctor.
6:59
7:00
-Did they not do previously on...? They did that for the last couple double episodes.
-Taxi lot, completely abandoned.
-Tony hotwired a forklift.
-Jack Bauer was going to self-immolate.
-Seriously, do they really make Aaron Pierce work this long?
-So, can Ethan unresign?
-"This isn't about getting my job back, it's about the truth."
7:07
-"This is the man who murdered my wife, Jack."
-Crazy, double double double Agent Tony Almeda?
-"You're not honoring Michele's life. You are reveling in her death and she would despise you for this."
-So... Tony just had a suicide vest there? That was lucky.
-Wilson is going to look at Jack Bauer's medical record? Why?
7:11
7:15
-The redhead evil doer is very homely.
7:16
-They searched Tony, but not Jack Bauer?
-"First I want to see Bauer's pathology report?" Uhhhh. Why?
-"Fire at will"! Because all of the bad guys were just waiting for orders to shoot at the FBI?
-I'm going to give Jack Bauer 2 more JBKC's for those hip checks.
-2+41=43 JBKCs.
-It really is helpful that all handcuffs have a universal key.
7:21
-Haha. The look of the homely redhead when Tony killed her was awesome.
-"You killed my son! My son!" Tony clearly is more upset about the death of his unborn son than the death of his wife. Emmy time for Tony.
-Tony's now been shot for the 3rd time today.
-Which I suppose is better than dying for the 3rd time.
-I'm thinking Tony's only play is to testify. Why wouldn't he?
7:23
7:27
-Wouldn't Alan Wilson be a known player?
7:29
-Now the FBI's only play is to get Tony to testify.
-Oh, now they're moralizing and rationalizing torture.
-"Because maybe I thought, if I saved them, I could save myself."
-"These laws were written by much smarter men than me, and in the end I know that these laws have to be more important than the 15 people on the bus. I know that's right. In the end, I know that's right. I just don't think my heart could ever have lived with that. I guess the only advice I can give you is try to make choices that you can live with."
7:32
7:37
-I hate Olivia.
-Again, where did Olivia get $250K?
-And how did the hitman get the bomb onto to the car outside of the FBI building?
-"Alison, spare me your sanctimony." The First Husband is more of a douche bag that I figured."
7:42
-Tim the FBI guy isn't going to be there until the end of the episode. What's up with that?
-And Janice, lame until the end. That's good.
7:44
-Haha. It's the Muslim dude. And Jack Bauer invited him, that's excellent.
-"We live in complex times, Mr Bauer. Nothing is black and white." "Simply a man."
-Spiritual.
7:46
7:51
-She's going to have her arrested.
-I knew it!
-"I will do everything I can to help you through this." Like, for instance issuing a pardon.
7:56
-I really don't have any comments about the Renee/Janice torture conversation.
-Was there anyone watching who didn't know how this stem cell transplant was going to end up happening? I mean, anyone?
-Anyone?

So that's it, then. Another crappy season in the books. Looks like the show wanted to equivocate on the question of torture and leave it up in the air. Jack Bauer seems to think that torture is wrong, unless... Renee seems to be making a case for the 'ticking time bomb' theory, except nothing is ticking, there's just some vague threats of future conspiracies. And then, in favor of the rule of law is the President, sending her own daughter to jail... I don't know. Next year is going to be just as dumb.

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