You Know What's Cool? Is it this? I don't know. It seems like it might not.

Well, this is good news. 2 reports in a row on the 'Arrested Development' movie being on. Shouldn't some key grip or something come out next week saying the movie isn't happening?

Yes, it's true: According to GQ, both star Will Arnett and Mitch Hurwitz, creator of the beloved cult Fox sitcom, have verified that their highly anticipated film adaptation is finally in the works after years of rumors. Of course, there are still some details to be worked out, such as trying to co-ordinate the filming around the schedules of a dozen in-demand stars like Jason Bateman and David Cross, but considering the trials and tribulations the film has faced to get to this point over the last four years, that's barely a minor hurdle.

On August 13th, both The Expendables and Eat, Pray, Love come out in theaters. The Monocular Group made a trailer for The Expendables to remind you what will happen if Eat, Pray, Love wins the weekend. "You will see this movie. Not off your torrents. In a fucking theater. Where violence belongs."

It says here that Brad Pitt has optioned The Big Short. As loyal readers, you'll know that I've been using the platform of Unlikely Words for several years to advocate for a movie based on Liar's Poker. Actually The Big Short and Liar's Poker could be released together as a part 1 and part 2 of the financial collapse. Shia Labeouf could play a young Michael Lewis.

Pitt's Plan B productions is going full steam ahead on an adaptation of Lewis' latest, "The Big Short," about the events that led up to the current financial fiasco. They're set offer Charles Randolph ("The Interpreter," "The Life of David Gale") $750G to write a script, reported New York mag's Vulture.

Every couple months or so, I do a little Googling to see if Liar's Poker has been optioned yet. Turns out it was optioned 20 years ago. Make the fucking movie already.

A few more Michael Lewis links to round out the day:
Complete Guide To Who's Who In The CDO Scandal
Goldman Sachs Is Doomed

On Oaths

We pledge to meet and even get to know ordinary people who do not work for Goldman Sachs, so that we might better understand their irrational behavior, and exploit it only when necessary.

Lost creator Damon Lindelof put together a treatment for a movie about the BP oils spill and how to stop it.

But if... dammit, IF... someone were to go up there and detonate a calibrated warhead on that damn thing, its trajectory could be altered. Altered so specifically that it could be made to hit a very specific target...A target on the floor of the Gulf of Mexico. It can plug that leak...Bay's in. He loves the "James Cameron fucking environmental message bullshit" of it...Willis wants to do it, even though he seems to have forgotten he died in the first one. If we want him, easy enough to say he's a twin brother or do some time travel thingamajob once they get into space.

There are a bunch of movies coming out this summer and Joe Mathlete is not impressed with Hollywood's originality. What follows is a long, but necessary, excerpt to show you just how devoid of new ideas Hollywood is. If you're writing an original screenplay, stop immediately and find something on which to base it.

Look what movies are coming out this summer: Sex and the City 2 (sequel to a movie based on a TV show based on a book based on newspaper articles), Iron Man 2 (sequel to a movie based on a 2nd-tier comic book), Jonah Hex (based on a 5th-tier comic book), The A-Team (based on a campy 80s TV action show), Macgruber (based on a series of TV comedy skits based on a campy 80s TV action show) Robin Hood (beyond being basically a Bible story in terms of freshness, it’s also for all intents and purposes a sequel to the film Gladiator), Step Up 3D (sequel to a sequel… in 3D!), Toy Story 3 (sequel to a sequel… in 3D!), Shrek Forever (sequel to the sequel to the sequel to a movie based on fairy tales and fart jokes), Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (based on the sequel to a computer game), The Karate Kid (remake of an 80s movie that spawned several sequels, starring the sequel to Will Smith), Ramona and Beezuz (based on children’s books which have already inspired filmic adaptations), The Last Airbender (based on an animated TV series), Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (based on a graphic novel), Nanny McPhee Returns (sequel to a movie based on a series of books), Piranha 3D (remake of a movie that was based on ripping off Jaws), Predators (you know, like the movie Predator, but plural!), Dinner for Schmucks (remake of a French film from a decade ago), Cats and Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (sequel to a movie called Cats and Dogs that I’d never heard of until I Googled it so I could write this). That’s not counting films whose plots are just lazy retreads of previous films. And that’s also not counting the Marmaduke movie.

I will say this right now: if there exists a finer metaphor for the creative bankruptcy of the Hollywood film system than a movie based on a half-century old comic strip that has been recycling the same five gags since blacks and whites had separate drinking fountains, I cannot imagine it.

Via JeffRubinJeffRubin.com and @jonahkeri

I told you! I told you! Last week, when David Cross was quoted as saying the Arrested Development movie would never get made, I told you it would only be a matter of time before another cast member directly contradicted him. I said it would be 2 months or so, but it took only a week for Jason Bateman to offer, "David says that it's dead, but it's not dead at all." OK, then.

The Vanity Fair profile on The Making of Raging Bull reminded me of their profile on The Making of The Godfather. It might be a series. Anyway, if you don't know a LOT about Raging Bull, but want to, this is a good place to start.

"It's not going to happen".

"I mean, there's so many people involved. Everyone's doing their own thing, you know. And everybody's aged. It's just not going to happen. I'm sure I speak for everybody when I say we'd love for it to happen, we'd love to work on it, but just I don't think... not going to happen."

Next year, after the movie has a release date, we'll all look back at the last 3 years of on again / off again movie rumors and realize that was the marketing plan all along. The way to keep the movie in the news every 2-4 months is for one of the cast members to be quoted saying something which contradicts completely the last cast member on record. Or else, the movie really won't get made and we'll all be sad.


@TheDailyWhat

These are not movies you want to watch, these Nicolas Sparks books made into movies. And yet, they keep getting made. NPR imagined what would happen if 10 popular movies were written by Nicolas Sparks.

1. The Karate Kid: At the tournament, Daniel admits to Mr. Miyagi that he has been concealing the kneecap cancer that makes the crane kick so useful to him. Daniel wins the tournament, but then collapses on the mat dead. "Get him a body bag," says a Cobra Kai sadly. Daniel is carried out of the arena by a processional of Cobra Kai on one side and repeatedly bullied weaklings on the other. As he exits, Johnny says wistfully to his corpse, "You're all right, LaRusso. You're all right." The movie ends with a slow piano cover of "Cruel Summer."

Via bookshelves of doom