In case you were ever wondering what it was like.

This awesome picture, by Karl Robertson, shows the horribly lonely lives sharks live on Valentine's Day AND EVERY DAY. I do love this picture, though.



Via Christopher

Here's a video of an 18 foot great white shark circling a 21 foot boat off the coast of North Carolina. If you know me at all, hahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

"Is it illegal to shoot them?" "I imagine so."



Via The Daily What

I don't even know what to say, but this guy was trying to surf and found himself riding a great white shark. In other news, you must have noticed by now that the Guardian is probably the top media outpost for wacky shark news.

Doug Niblack was trying to catch another wave before going to work when his longboard hit something hard as rock off the Oregon coast and he found himself standing on a thrashing great white shark.

Looking down, he could see a dorsal fin in front of his feet as he stood on what he described as 10 feet (three metres) of back as wide as his surfboard and as black as his wetsuit. A tail thrashed back and forth and the water churned around him.

Thanks Alex

And then in Australia, there's a golf course that has a hazard full of bull sharks.

This is not OK. A shark swims in the streets after Irene hits Puerto Rico. I don't care if this is fake. The thought alone makes it real enough. (Here's a report of sharks in the streets of Australia.)



(Via @Dens and @ecori_dave)

Ah, hell, let's just go ahead and call this Shark Week on Unlikely Words. Here's video of a couple Australian dogs that seem to have fun playing in the ocean nipping at sharks. The Guardian always has awesome shark content, doesn't it?

Thanks, Alex.

Just about every paragraph in this article has something that jumped out on me. The story is about Diana Nyad, a 61 year-old radio commentator who is going to swim from Cuba to Key West in 60 hours. Straight. As one of the marathon swimmers quoted says, "I can't imagine doing anything for 60 hours."

There will be liquid mixture of predigested protein, jellyfish stings, and swollen tongues from the salt water. Diana is the record holder for world's longest swim, and is probably going to go $150K in debt because she's only raised $350K of the $500K necessary. It costs that much because there are 22 people helping put this together.

But also, and let's be honest, this is why I'm posting this.

Two men in kayaks will follow Ms. Nyad’s every stroke. They will hold a shark shield — neoprene rods that emit electrical waves to zap sharks that come too close. The waters between Cuba and Key West are a notorious shark playground. But the shield is not foolproof. Just in case it fails, as it did last year in the Caribbean when another woman was on a marathon swim, four shark divers with spears will be onboard, ready to jump.

Lastly:
"Jack LaLanne was 60 when he swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman’s Wharf, in San Francisco, for a second time, handcuffed, shackled and towing a 1,000-pound boat."

A boat studying shark populations in South Africa was surprised recently when a great white shark JUMPED ON TO THEIR FUCKING BOAT. Not cool, shark. Not cool. "A smaller boat would have capsized." Also, Guardian? You missed the headline.

Schröder recounted how she pulled her colleague to safety before the shark, weighing about 500kg (half a ton) landed on top of the bait and fuel containers. At first half of its body was outside the boat but in a panic the shark thrashed its way further on to the vessel, cutting the fuel lines and damaging equipment before becoming trapped between the containers and the stern. The crew found safety at the bow of the boat.

The 2nd headline of this story says, "Eyre Peninsula's Matt Waller has added another tip to the 'don't get eaten' handbook with his discovery that Great White's are much less aggressive when listening to ACDC - particularly 'You Shook Me All Night Long'," which seems awesome. However, this is the kind if irresponsible shark journalism our species can ill afford. Further down the article, they talk to a shark expert who said,

What Matt has come across I have seen in other species of sharks particularly in remote areas where sharks maybe haven't come into contact with people or boats before and just the slightest noise will actually bring them in to see what that new thing in the area is.

That's basically the exact opposite. Those of you about to sew a MIDI device playing 'You Shook Me' may want to hold off.

I have 2 things to say about this.
1. Don't ever do this.
2. Don't ever do this.