Unlikely Words » stupidity

Women’s Ski Jump

aaron cohen — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 18:43:14 +0000

I hadn't realized that there was no women's ski jump in the Olympics. That seems dumb to me, not because my wife kicks my ass at Wii Ski Jumping, which she does, but because this is 2010. The Time article mentions that they're doing Ski Cross this year, which is like motorcross on skis, and we all certainly remember the abomination that was Ski Ballet, don't we?

In 2005, Gian Franco Kasper, FIS president and a member of the IOC, said that he didn't think women should ski jump because the sport "seems not to be appropriate for ladies from a medical point of view."

I'm not breaking any new ground by calling the IOC a stupid organization, but they are. They are very stupid.

For what it's worth, the world's longest ski jumps.

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Remember Him?

aaron cohen — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 19:02:37 +0000

Joe the Plumber? ###Possibly related posts:Remember her? So What’s Wrong With Suze Orman? Taibbi Eviscerates Jake DeSantis ### Possibly related posts:

Simple Answers to Stupid Questions

emdash — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 03:00:01 +0000

Today's submission comes from Michael Crowley at The New Republic:

Should the [balloon boy] family be charged for the huge search and rescue effort?

No.

This has been "Simple Answers to Stupid Questions." See you next time!

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Wingnut Voltron Definition

aaron cohen — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:08:51 +0000

(I've had this post in "Drafts" since January when I had the idea to do a week of new words/theories/definitions, but who knows if that will ever happen, and now that Balloon Juice is building a dictionary, I figured I'd post it. Carry on.)

I heard this phrase the other day and traced the first usage back to Balloon Juice. I think it's perfect. I'd nominate it for phrase of the year, but it was from last year, so, well, we'll just have to enjoy it without the awards.

Wingnut Voltron, noun: The act when the right wing blogosphere comes together to form a powerful and passionate opposition to important things, such as scarves in a donut commercial. Derived from the childrens' cartoon Voltron.

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Happy One Year Anniversary To Tire Gauge As Political Prop

aaron cohen — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 15:02:31 +0000

Remember these? ###Possibly related posts:More Political Baseball Cards – Al Gore and George Bush Together Again Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln by Doris Kearns Goodwin Will Arnett Says Arrested Development Movie This Year ### Possibly related posts:

Goldman Sachs Runs the World, er… Internet

aaron cohen — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 14:11:30 +0000

Let's see how this works out for them, shall we? ###Possibly related posts:Matt Taibbi vs Goldman Sachs (Full Text) Goldman Didn’t Have A Single Day of Loss Last Quarter iPhone runs Boston Marathon ### Possibly related posts:

I Wonder the Same Thing

aaron cohen — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 13:42:24 +0000

Chris Piascik, killing it as always.
Dirty, Dirty

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Shark Stolen From Aquarium

aaron cohen — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 14:19:23 +0000

I have no idea why anyone would want to steal a shark, especially if the plan includes hiding the shark in your jacket. ###Possibly related posts:Terror From Above – Leaky Shark Aquarium Stolen bike stolen back Shark Week: Megamouth Shark Eaten ### Possibly related posts:

MLB.com Customer Service Can’t Spell

matt — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 01:15:03 +0000

I guess I signed up for some kind of Red Sox Nation thingy on MLB.com last year, and I just got an email indicating that it was being automatically renewed. I don't really feel like paying $15 for it this year, so I wrote back asking how to cancel the subscription. This is the email I got in return:

Subject
---------------------------------------------------------------
cancillation request

Discussion Thread
---------------------------------------------------------------
Response (Don Don XXXXXX) - 02/12/2009 06:50 PM
Dear Fan:

Thank you for your email.

Unfortunately, you have not provided enough information to assist with your request. Please provide us with the email address you have registered under so we can assist your further.

Thank you for taking the time to write!

Regards,
MLB.com Support

Customer (M— X—) - 02/11/2009 01:26 PM
Hi,

I did not intend to renew this subscription. Can I cancel it?

On Feb 11, 2009, at 12:28 PM, subscriptions@website.mlb.com wrote:

Thank you for your order.

Order Date: 02/11/09 Order ID Number: 2302176
[...]

Apart from the hilarious mistakes, it's worth pointing out that (a) the email address I registered with is the email address I sent my cancillation [sic] request from, and (b) there's an order number in the email, which ought to mean something.

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Distress

matt — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 20:21:03 +0000

Oh, my. Given the complaint, one naturally must conclude that this poor family underwent a terrible hardship:

"The emotional distress suffered by the plaintiffs is so severe that no reasonable person could be expected to endure it, and the emotional distress has resulted in physical symptomatology of emotional distress," the suit claims.

The plaintiffs say they "have incurred and wil continue to incur expenses for hospital care, medical care and attention, medications, other materials and supplies."

Medical malpractice? Defective product? Environmental contamination? Stalking and harassment? Nope: free porn.

Robert Bourne, Denise Roy, and their minor daughters, Elise Roy and Danielle Bourne, say Verizon, their cable provider, failed to stop "unauthorized transmissions" of the Playboy Channel despite being notified multiple times between March and August 2008.

There are obvious comments to make here: couldn't they just turn the TV off or change the channel? They don't seem to be claiming that Verizon gave them only the Playboy Channel. I suppose this could just be another example of litigious American society, yet another "frivolous" lawsuit to be held up as evidence that we need "tort reform" in this country.

But: hospital and medical care? Who in the family had to seek medical attention after seeing the Playboy Channel? Which member of the household has such a fragile constitution and such a terrified perspective on sexuality that the mere availability of naked women brought on physical distress?

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Steve Carlton Believes Bill Clinton Had A Black Son?

aaron cohen — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 15:45:12 +0000

Normally, I'd let a 14 year old dog lie, but sometimes, they're too remarkable. That said, the year Steve Carlton was inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame, he was interviewed and espoused some rather strange views on Bill Clinton having a disavowed black son and the world being run by 12 Jews.

Apparently he made it the rest of the year and through his induction speech (which I listened to) without saying anything else to get into trouble. Not talking to the media might not have been hard for the lefthander, though, because there were stretches in his career when he didn't talk to the writers for up to 8 years at a time.

I don't know. I say let's give him a pass, I guess, since he's not hurting anyone thinking this way and it was 14 years ago and all.

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Pretty Much How I Feel, Too

aaron cohen — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 14:36:20 +0000

John Cole touches on something I think about every time I go through airport security. While I don't agree so much on the death penalty part for Reid, I consider him the most successful terrorist of all time. 2 minutes per person per flight is what he has done. Obviously, this is much better than people dying, but, man, let us keep on our shoes!

2.) Although I do not support the death penalty, I think an exception could be made for Richard Reid. Millions of people all over the country have to take their shoes off every time they fly because of that jackass. I bet more collective man-hours are lost to this one man than anyone else who has ever lived.

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Don’t Call it a Bailout!

aaron cohen — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 00:34:47 +0000

"I don't think it's a bailout. The shareholders still own the company". - Your President
But if it's not a bailout, and the government isn't getting anything out of it except risk... Um. Shoot. Any economists want to chime in on this, it's over my head.

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Dream-Bomb

matt — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 01:51:13 +0000

A full-scale evacuation from a North Sea oil rig was sparked after a female employee apparently told colleagues of a dream she had about a bomb being on the platform.

Wait, that's just too stupid. That can't be true. Can it?

Police began an investigation after the evacuation of 161 of the more than 500 people on the Safe Scandinavia, a floating accommodation block that forms part of an oil installation 130 miles north of Aberdeen. Police were waiting to question the woman, 23, last night after she was detained by the rig’s manager and flown to the mainland.

...

Bomb disposal experts were placed on stand-by and up to a dozen RAF, coastguard and civilian helicopters scrambled to the rig after the decision to evacuate all personnel was taken by the operators at 9.20am. Police emphasised that the incident was “not considered terrorism-related”. By the time the alert was later declared a hoax, workers had been airlifted from the platform to two nearby rigs.

Dear God. That's such a ludicrous over-reaction, I can't quite believe it didn't happen in this country. Wait, what's that?

Kathy McGill, Britannia Operator’s managing director, said: “We are very relieved that this has turned out to be a false alarm, but we obviously had to treat it seriously.”

Really, Ms. McGill? You had to? Obviously? Obviously? Last night I dreamed I had a flying horse. Should I, obviously, go build a stable with a skylight and buy several bags of oats or whatever-the-fuck?

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Interracial Dating? Yes! Heliocentrism? No!

matt — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 00:19:04 +0000

Awesome.

Earth around sun 73.6%
Sun around earth 18.3%
Don’t Know 8.0%
Refused 0.1%

To the 8% who aren't sure whether the Earth goes around the sun or not, I can only say... De revolutionibus orbium coelestium was published in 1543. You've had 564 years to decide whether you're persuaded; I think it's time to make up your damn minds.

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