Unlikely Words » terrorism

Predictable Idiocy

emdash — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 03:36:19 +0000

Photo by Flickr user caribbSo, because the most recent al-Qaeda dipshit tried to light a firecracker on a plane, we're not forbidden to get up or hold anything on our laps during the last hour of a flight:

“Among other things,” the statement on Air Canada’s Web site read, “during the final hour of flight customers must remain seated, will not be allowed to access carry-on baggage, or have personal belongings or other items on their laps.”

The suspect in the Friday attempt, identified as Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, 23, tried to ignite his incendiary device in the final hour of the flight while the plane was descending into Detroit.

We all recognize that this is beyond stupid, right? We're letting al-Qaeda write our flight security regulations by proxy. Whatever they do, we overreact: shoes, liquids, laps. At some point, will Americans get fed up and stop flying?

Pretty Much How I Feel, Too

aaron cohen — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 14:36:20 +0000

John Cole touches on something I think about every time I go through airport security. While I don't agree so much on the death penalty part for Reid, I consider him the most successful terrorist of all time. 2 minutes per person per flight is what he has done. Obviously, this is much better than people dying, but, man, let us keep on our shoes!

2.) Although I do not support the death penalty, I think an exception could be made for Richard Reid. Millions of people all over the country have to take their shoes off every time they fly because of that jackass. I bet more collective man-hours are lost to this one man than anyone else who has ever lived.

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Dream-Bomb

matt — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 01:51:13 +0000

A full-scale evacuation from a North Sea oil rig was sparked after a female employee apparently told colleagues of a dream she had about a bomb being on the platform.

Wait, that's just too stupid. That can't be true. Can it?

Police began an investigation after the evacuation of 161 of the more than 500 people on the Safe Scandinavia, a floating accommodation block that forms part of an oil installation 130 miles north of Aberdeen. Police were waiting to question the woman, 23, last night after she was detained by the rig’s manager and flown to the mainland.

...

Bomb disposal experts were placed on stand-by and up to a dozen RAF, coastguard and civilian helicopters scrambled to the rig after the decision to evacuate all personnel was taken by the operators at 9.20am. Police emphasised that the incident was “not considered terrorism-related”. By the time the alert was later declared a hoax, workers had been airlifted from the platform to two nearby rigs.

Dear God. That's such a ludicrous over-reaction, I can't quite believe it didn't happen in this country. Wait, what's that?

Kathy McGill, Britannia Operator’s managing director, said: “We are very relieved that this has turned out to be a false alarm, but we obviously had to treat it seriously.”

Really, Ms. McGill? You had to? Obviously? Obviously? Last night I dreamed I had a flying horse. Should I, obviously, go build a stable with a skylight and buy several bags of oats or whatever-the-fuck?

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Who You Gonna Call?

matt — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 01:33:33 +0000

The CIA's Counterterrorist Center "Terrorist Buster" Logo must be seen to be believed.

24: Episode 8, 2 PM – 3 PM

aaron cohen — Tue, 14 Feb 2006 04:04:00 +0000

Key Words: 24, Jack Bauer, C. Thomas Howell, Sandrine Holt, ER,

I'm not excited about this week's episode. I didn't think the previews from last week were that good and frankly, I could shut this season off right and not suffer the shakes of withdrawal.
9:02: I have to reiterate the idiocy of the plot twist which led Lynn McGill to get mugged by his junkie sister.
9:03: There's no way for anyone to get anywhere in any city in five minutes. It will probably take him 5 minutes to get out of the building.
9:06: "No statement until his wife has been notified." I think the President learned that in the Presidential Clichés class he took his sophomore year of President College.
9:06: Yes, Mike, go on. Paint a picture for the second stupidest president, real or fake, ever. Wasn't it clear when we saw Walt dead that the administration would change their story? It was to me. President Logan must have had other stuff on his mind, like what would happen if gorillas and rabbits mated. Is that a gorabbit or a rabilla?
9:08:Stop asking questions, Evelyn, or you'll be sent back to small roles on ER. You don't want that, do you?
9:11: Raise your hand if you think Chloe would be able to describe the reconfiguration of a chip well enough for Jack Bauer to pretend to be technology dude. Me neither
9:12: Jack Bauer is in custody! Jack Bauer is in custody!
9:13: Audrey, stop thinking with your heart. Jack Bauer is a big boy, he can take care of himself. See! Bill Buchanan just said it!
9:18: If the First Lady doesn't understand what's going on here, maybe she SHOULD be committed to that place in Vermont..
9:18: How many times do you think President Logan can say "I'm the president" to his wife!? She's not going to tolerate it forever, that's for sure.
9:20: Hello. I just realized that C. Thomas Howell is listed as a cast member in tonight's episode. What could the star of "Red Dawn" and "Soul Man" be doing on "24"? I'd like to think that he's bigger than a bit part on a series like "24", but if I were to think that'd I'd most certainly be wrong.
9:22: Lynn McGill is pissed about getting mugged by his junkie sister (for what I can only assume is the tenth time) so he's going to take it out on thousands of innocent consumers? That doesn't make any sense. What am I talking about? Nothing on this show makes sense. You know when you're supposed to stop watching a television series? When it becomes an arduous task to suspend your disbelief. Careful "24" you're in uncharted waters, suspending this writer's disbelief has always been so simple.
9:28: NJBD: 1 (Mall security guard).
9:30: My guess is it would be hard for Jack Bauer to stand there and hear this conversation and not want to whisper a line disparaging Lynn McGill's manhood for getting mugged by his junkie sister, in what is beginning to look more and more like a throwaway plot twist.
9:31: "100% certainty?" Lynn McGill, how can you possibly say that with a straight face?
9:32: "This is a field operation, it's up to you." Haha, that was sweet. I'm going to use that line when I don't want to make a decision. This is the silliest and most ridiculous president of all time. Err, the second silliest and most ridiculous president of all time.
9:33: Doesn't Lynn McGill know that he can't "order" Jack Bauer to do anything? Lynn, he doesn't work for you, duh. That goes doubly for the president.
9:40: "This is war." Did Congress declare that, Lynn? Because if they didn't, it's only an armed conflict and not a war. You know that.
9:41: JBKC: 1 (Terrorist)
9:43: It's funny to imagine Jack Bauer walking though the mall in a gas mask holding a gun while people run in the opposite direction in terror. The only thing that would make it better is if he could possibly be wearing night vision goggles and a bow tie.
9:45: I'm not sure which drug Jack Bauer asked for, but how did he know which one to ask for? Jack Bauer is saving young girls left and right now. Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim!
9:51: You seem to be incapable of doing that, Lynn McGill, because you spend all your time getting mugged by your junkie sister. Doesn't that type of thing show up on a background check? You know it does. That's why the president referenced it just then.
9:54: That's right, First Lady, take your medicine, you know it's the right thing to do. For Walt's family, AND for the country. Don't be stubborn, you know you were wrong. Oh come on, don't be that way, give your hubby a kiss. Mike Logan is so not getting laid tonight.
9:55: Can Curtis drive with a gas mask? I guess so.
9:56: NJBD: 1 (The other terrorist)
Final thoughts:
1 JBKC, 0 torture, 2 NJBD, Prediction Ratio n/a.
That's two episodes past the point I thought that Kim Bauer would make her appearance. Also, was C. Thomas Howell on tonight or not? Can anyone confirm that? I get really frustrated when Jack Bauer and CTU don't use the technology and knowledge they've used in past seasons or even past episodes. It's like they have selective terrorism fighting skills. I hate it.
Totals for the season, 18 JBKCs, 2 torture, 18 NJBDs, Prediction Ratio 37.5% (3 out of 8).

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