It’s not clear why this performance isn’t more heralded. Break My Stride was the first song I remember thinking of as my favorite song and it was on the radio incessantly when I would be riding in the car with my mom. But this video. Wow. It’s from Matthew Wilder’s appearance on Solid Gold, which explains the numerous backup dancers. But there’s absolutely no explanation for his crazy shirt. Also, the 3 keyboards? WHAT THE HELL DOES HE NEED 3 KEYBOARDISTS FOR? Anyway. Enjoy.

Fun fact, Matthew Wilder was the producer for No Doubt’s 1995 hit Tragic Kingdom. I wonder if he’s available for interviews. Or if he was in the No Doubt Behind the Music?

Lost is ending this year and I’ve stuck with it through the entire series – from the exciting beginning to the rudderless middle and finally the rejuvenated last season and a half. I figured one way to celebrate this would be to take on an overly ambitious project. If you watch Lost, you’ll know numbers play a big role. I’m going to find 108 people to write 815 Sentences About Lost.

To help with this project, I got Scott designed a great looking home for the project even designing some custom Lost buttons for use on Tumblr.

If you’d like to submit something please click here (submissions should be 7-8 sentences each and include a 1-2 sentence bio about you).

I’m pretty happy with how it’s going so far. You should check it out.

I’ve learned from the government that if you have to release something embarrassing, you do it as close to the end of the day on Friday as possible. Well, here you go. Mind the cursing. (By the way, I put tape on the lock so it wouldn’t happen to anyone else.)

Thanks to Zack for helping me get out documenting the situation.

Last year, I enjoyed putting together a post documenting my favorite posts of the year and thought I’d do so again. For you newer readers, this can function as an Unlikely Words primer. This year’s post took a lot longer as I had to go through about 550 posts compared to around 150 last year. What were your favorite posts of the year on Unlikely Words. Let me know in the comments.

2009 was a big year for Unlikely Words. I set a goal at the beginning of the year of increasing daily traffic 5.5 times from where it was during 2008. The year was rounding out well and we were on track to miss the goal by about *this much*. However, thanks to the amazing viral success of the Jersey Shore Nickname Generator daily traffic is set to increase 20 times from where it was in 2008. From a visual perspective, we finally pulled the trigger on a long talked about site redesign. Emdash did a little customization of Derek Punsalan’s Grid Focus theme and incorporated 3 logos designed by Unlikely Words favorite, Chris Piascik.

In 2009, I continued tracking plastic bag bans around the world and reviewing, in 3 sentences or less, all of the media (movies and books) I consumed. There’s a backlog of about 40 reviews that need to be written and/or posted, and I’m trying to think of a creative way to get these out. There were several posts about Michael Lewis and the movie version of ‘Money Ball’, and I remain saddened by the lack of a ‘Liar’s Poker’ movie. I post about Michael Lewis so much because people are interested in what he has to say, but he doesn’t keep a blog to make it easy to find what he’s saying. This applies to Chuck Klosterman, as well.

Sharks made their customary frequent appearances (including this post about a hero shark fighting dog). This spring, I even got an opportunity to interview George Burgess, one of the foremost shark experts in the world. I also had the pleasure of interviewing 2 of my favorite rockers Blake Schwarzenbach of forgetters and Ben Nichols of Lucero, as well as author Davy Rothbart and ‘V’ Creator Kenny Johnson. These conversations were a lot of fun and I hope to interview more folks in 2010 who are equally out of my league. (Though, according to this LinkedIn rejection, everyone is out of my league.)

I, of course, talked a lot about Television this year, including many posts about Mad Men and The Wire. Lost is a show that I don’t LOVE, but end up posting a lot about, mostly because the stuff the fans create is so awesome. You all really seemed to enjoy Everything Tracy Jordan Said Seasons 1, 2, and 3 as well as Everything Don Draper Said Seasons 1, 2, and 3. I was shocked to find out Jericho Reruns Get More Viewers Than Mad Men, but the concept of cell phones killing the sitcom makes sense when you think about it. “24″ received more words than it deserved, but I had fun liveblogging it, and will probably (oh, crap) do it again this year.

Some projects I was relatively proud of: The Tiger Woods Mistress Generator, a study on the idea of an official state sandiwch, and then writing to every senator and representative for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts asking their opinion on making the Fluffernutter the Official Sandwich of the Commonwealth. I did an Appreciation of Rickey Henderson on the occasion of his induction to the Hall of Fame, conducted an Unscientific Survey of Books People Love Annoyingly and Books People Hate, compiled 208 Facebook Status Messages from the 24 hours of Obama’s inauguration, created a 10 part Free Barcelona, Spain Travel Guide, and in Marshmallow Peeps On the Internet, I collected practically every single website of note about Marshmallow Peeps. Plus, I answered What a Zombie Looks For in a Woman.

My favorite vandalism of the year, along with my favorite effort by young people, interview by someone else, cat video, urban wildlife sighting, fan made music video, Mad Menspoof, movie posters, Boston music video, character assassination, single serving site about bad art dedicated to Barack Obama, and picture of Smart cars parked sideways.

This is a fake list of Reasons I Gave When Asked, “Why Are You Growing a Mustache Again?” and a real List of Facebook Usernames I Wish I Had Gotten.

Here are a few cultural events that I reviewed: forgetters at Great Scott, Lucero at The Middle East, Ann Coulter vs Bill Maher Debate, Shepard Fairey at the ICA, Al Gore at the Wang Center, Karl Rove vs James Carville, and blogger day at Taza Chocolate.

Did you know that there’s No Apostrophe in “Veterans Day”, You CAN Eat Quinoa during Passover, or anything at all about Patriots’ Day? RCN started a DNS redirect, but here’s How to Opt Out, The New York Times killed itself and the bacon meme at the same time, and Allessandra Stanley Had a Bad Day. James Brown Saved Boston, McLean Stabbed Mingus, Buddy Rich Yelled At His Band, and Susan Boyle knocked it out of the park. David went to the dentist, The Roots watched 2 Girls, 1 Cup, ESPN featured the Konami (Contra) Code, Matt Lauer hit a deer, ON HIS BIKE, and the internet cheered the cultural impact of 1984 (the year, not the book).

Michale Jackson had mad pull at one point, but then, a proposed auction of his stuff turned into an allegory of the economy. (Another allegory of the economy? The Snot Boogie Rules.) Media is changing, “Twitter is a media/marketing vehicle disguised as a social network”, I missed how big of a deal Snuggies would be this year (only four million sold as of the end of January).

In June, my little cat dude, Charlie, died and it about crushed me. If you’ve read this far, you may as well check out that post if you want to read about him. Except for that, 2009 was a great year on Unlikely Words. I hope we have as much fun next year.

Feels like a Monday, though. Here’s a picture of James in the sink. But also, how many of you put a clip on the end of the toothpaste? Makes toothpasting much easier. Believe.

The Hungarian site Comment.hu linked to Everything Don Draper Said Season 2. Since the write up is in Hungarian, I used Google Translate to figure out what they said. And actually, it’s just a more artful way of saying what most other people say about the Everything They Said series.

Click the image below to see what they say about me in Hungary.

Please add following these tips for growing a garden in the basement to the list of things I desperately want to do, but probably never will. Actually, that’s a clumsy sentence. Following the tips isn’t what I want added to the list, growing a garden in the basement is. I might however, find space to put up a grow light so we can have fresh herbs year round. We’ll see.

I’ve written before about “Fake Traffic” and a developed theory called “The Wave Theory of Traffic” and I’m happy once again to write that scientists have used math and science to prove that ‘Phantom’ Traffic Jams exist and they’re working to mitigate them.

The MIT team found speed, traffic density and other factors can determine conditions that will lead to a jamiton and how quickly it will spread. Once the jam forms, the researchers say, drivers have no choice but to wait for it to clear. The new model could lead to roads designed with sufficient capacity to keep traffic density below the point at which a jamiton can form.

Via Boing Boing.

Charlie Lying Down

Our cats have always been people cats, hanging around where we are and coming excitedly to greet us at the door when we get home. Unless, that is, they fell asleep in a box or on a pile of laundry. So last night when only James greeted us after we got back from dinner, it was strange, but not terribly concerning because sometimes it takes the cats a moment to wake up and stretch before checking in. It did get weird when we started calling for Charlie and he didn’t come, I don’t know if he knew his name, but he always came when called. And it was downright worrying when J shook the catnip container and still nothing.

We heard a noise in the bedroom a couple hours earlier, right before leaving for dinner, peeked in, but didn’t see him and assumed he had scrambled under the bed. I think that noise was Charlie saying goodbye to us before we left. Last night, Charlie passed away under a chair in our bedroom. He was about to turn 5 and he was a part of our family for four years and eight months. I know there are much bigger things going on in the world right now, but Charlie and James were a giant part of MY world and I’m simply crushed. I know there will be greater heartaches in my future, though just now, I can look at every single spot in my house and there’s something that reminds me of Charlie and breaks my heart fresh.

I called my brother because I had no idea what to do and he called Jon who called Angell Memorial Pet Hospital. They told us we could bring Charlie in and they’d take care of him, or ‘we could do it ourselves’. Seth went home to get a shovel because it seemed fitting to bury this unique cat (without asking anyone) in the gravel parking area – the only yard area we could think of, without taking him to the park across the way. I picked a corner of the lot that was actually an unused garden square. I had unsuccessfully tried to grow catnip there last year, but it was too shady. I wasn’t sure what was under the bed, but it became clear pretty quickly that the soil was too full of leveling rocks, bricks and concrete to dig a deep enough hole. And while I liked the idea of secreting him away in the back without the other condo owners knowing (it fits Charlie’s personality), I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to dig a deep enough hole. In order to have something of him to look out on, we buried a couple of saw dust mice and some catnip. We were going to also bury his favorite bell toy, but I needed to keep it with me for now. We decided to take him to Angell and Jon insisted on driving us over, which was good, because I can’t get around Jamaica Plain without getting desperately lost.

As most pets do, Charlie had several names that we used interchangeably. Because of his pink nose, we called him Strawberry until we settled on Charlie, and his first veterinarian still refers to him as such. We had always known James was going to be named James, and I had got it into my head that our second cat would be named Notjames. This was vetoed, though Notjames was one of his names. As were Charles, Chuck, Chucho, Chuchi, Portulaca, Little Guy, Guy, Little Boy, Cat, Peapod, Chili, Silly, Buddy, and ever since watching Deadwood, any number of the foulest curse words you can string together. We settled upon Charlie after hearing the name on an episode of West Wing because the name Charlie perfectly matched his character.

Leaving one last humorous (though morbid) memory for us, Charlie’s legs had stiffened while we were out and he couldn’t fit in the boot box that had been his bed. We took Charlie to Angell, wrapped awkwardly because of his legs, in a fleece blanket he and James had claimed as a favorite every winter. When I brought him out to the car there was another light moment when Jon and I tried to decide whether he should ride in the backseat or the trunk. Charlie kind of hated riding in the car, but we didn’t want his last ride to be in the trunk, so he rode up front with us. When we got to Angell, I carried Charlie in and they put us in Exam Room #4 so we could fill out the registration form. A general cremation at Angell costs $55 and if you’ve never been there, it’s $11 extra for registration, which seems odd considering. After finishing the registration we said goodbye again, one last time. (Over the course of the evening I count 7 goodbyes that I thought would be final: before calling my brother, before my brother came over, after my brother left to get a shovel, before trying to dig a hole, after trying to dig a hole, before wrapping Charlie in the blanket, and just before getting out of the car at Angell.) We unwrapped Charlie and folded the blanket to take home with us. It is James’ favorite, too, after all. We looked at the cats up for adoption, the cute black twins, the cat with the Hitler mustache, looked into Exam Room #4 to see Charlie seemingly asleep peacefully on the exam table, and left.

His last day was like any other. He got thrown out of the bedroom in the middle of the night for creating a ruckus, but then came back in the morning and visited us on the bed. He slept a little here and there. Charlie sat purring across J’s arms while she was at the computer, and he stretched out for a nap with me, resting his head on my arm, his body snuggled parallel to mine, me rubbing his stomach. This was my absolute favorite thing to do with him. James and Charlie sprinted around the condo, chasing each other before wrestling and licking each other until they got bored. While I was getting ready to leave, he jumped up on the toilet while I was brushing my teeth and I scratched his head one last time. If he had been there when we got home to watch TV, he undoubtedly would have sat with his chest resting on the arm of the easy chair, his legs off to either side like he was riding a horse.

Charlie was unique and charming, handsome and eminently photogenic, sweet, and hilarious, endearing and smart. Everyday he did something or struck a pose, lounging in a way that made us laugh, and everyday he came over and spent some quality time with each of us. He was a big cat, but not fat, and he was a Hemingway, which means he had an extra toe on each front foot. He had long hair, softer than any other cat, and J will tell you he was the best smelling cat she ever knew.

I’m crushed. I’m in shock and disbelief that I’ll never see him again and I’m angry that he passed away so young and so suddenly without any warning. I’m happy that he had a great last day, that I was part of it, and that we had almost 5 years together because he was wonderful. And I’m happy that he apparently didn’t suffer. I was lucky to have a cat as friendly and affectionate as Charlie, and I have a physical pain in my chest from missing him.

This has gone long and gets longer, but I’m not sorry. If I couldn’t use my blog to write an indulgent eulogy for Charlie, a document I’ll use to remember him always and to tell the world how amazing he was, it would all be a waste of time. I acknowledge it’s weird to write this much about a cat, but I couldn’t sleep and wrote most of it in my head before getting out of bed after 4 hours (plus, Charlie was awesome). Honestly, I don’t where all this emotion came from. I knew I loved the hell out of Charlie, and he knew I did, but I didn’t know it was this much. Finally, I support any pet owner’s right to grieve in this manner and should you put your memories on the internet, I will read them and likely get choked up. What follows is a long list of memories and quirks that stick out for me. I’d write down his entire life if I could. Feel free to skim.
Read the rest of this entry »

While driving in the US is down a little bit, traffic and congestion is down a lot.

[T]raffic congestion is subject to a tipping point–what economists call non-linearities. Add an additional car to a crowded road at rush hour, and traffic slows down a bit, and then the “carrying capacity” of the road declines. Traffic engineers estimate that most roads carry their maximum throughput — number of vehicles per hour at about 40 miles per hour — so as traffic slows below that speed, the road actually loses capacity and goes slower and slower, producing a traffic jam.

When we were touring we were incessantly sitting in traffic, usually at 6 PM when we were late for load in or at 3 AM when we were driving at night to avoid traffic. The guys up front staring blankly out the windshield at the cars and trucks snaking in the distance, the crushing reality of the digital clock cutting short soundcheck and possibly dinner. The guys in the back were only mildly aware that we weren’t moving, knowing that while we should be somewhere by now, we weren’t, and it only really mattered if we missed dinner, anyway.

Once in a while, there would be a pileup or emergency vehicles or construction. But more frequently, we’d be sitting in brutal, mind numbing traffic, and all of a sudden, it would clear up and we’d be moving again. We called this phenomenon “Fake Traffic” and eventually worked out a complicated and detailed Wave Theory of Traffic. And now, via Matthew Yglesias, CEOs for Cities have gotten to the bottom of this theory for us. Thank you CEOs for Cities!