Unlikely Words » washington dc

Martin Luther King – I Have A Dream Speech

aaron cohen — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 15:22:34 +0000

I like watching every year this to try to imagine what it was like 50 years ago, and it's practically impossible.

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Small Charges Lead To Big Results

aaron cohen — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 18:44:16 +0000

"When it goes from zero to even a very small charge, it can feel very bad," said Dan Ariely, an economics professor at Duke University. "It creates a very small financial burden but a very big emotional reaction."

That quote from an interesting article in The New Republic that talks about the success of the Washington, DC plastic bag tax. On 1/1, stores began charging shoppers a tax of a nickle per plastic bag and bag use has gone down 50%. The article then makes the connection to a carbon tax and how even a tiny fee is better than no fee because of reason Ariely states above.

The article also mentions a failed $0.20 bag tax in Seattle that potentially reached too high. Nickle bag tax for everyone!

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Two Links from Two Weeks Ago

aaron cohen — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:54:08 +0000

Two links from two weeks ago that you may or may not have seen, but I had saved to share and not gotten around to it yet.

The Yes Men sent out a hoax press release from the US Chamber of Commerce saying they had changed their position on climate change. Obviously the media was interested in this so the Yes Men rented a room at the DC Press Club and gave a fake press conference. Then it gets really awesome when a representative of the Chamber shows up and shuts down the presser. And now, they're getting sued for it

Via TPM.

If you saw the profits made by the big banks last quarter and wondered how they were doing it, Philip Greenspun has an answer:

Because of the Collapse of 2008 financial reforms, the big investment banks are able to borrow money from the U.S. government at 0 percent interest. Then they can turn around and buy short-term bonds that pay 2 or 3 percent annual interest. Now they’re making 2 percent on whatever they borrowed. They can use leverage to increase this number, by pledging some of the bonds that they’ve already bought as collateral on additional bonds.

It's all so awesome, isn't it?

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Burn After Reading (2008)

aaron cohen — Wed, 27 May 2009 20:46:24 +0000

Lots of people don't like this movie, but it's Coen Brothers, and I can't help feeling that it was at least average. I think the people who don't like it have forgotten what a Coen Brothers movie is. For every No Country, Raising Arizona, Big Lebowski, there's a Lady Killers. ###Possibly related posts:Get Smart (2008) [...] ### Possibly related posts:

24 Season 7 Episode 23 6 AM – 7 AM and Episode 24 7 AM – 8 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:27:09 +0000

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Alright folks, this one's for all the marbles. What better way for us to celebrate than for me to be absent for the final Live Blog of the season. I'm on an island off the coast of Puerto Rico, and if you're reading this, I wasn't able to find a TV playing the last 2 episodes. Comments are open and I hope you think of this as YOUR live blog. I'll put up a show review with my thoughts on the 24 finale when I get a chance to see the episodes.

I'll need you guys to keep count of the JBKCs (or Jack Bauer Knockdowns) and the number of times someone says "damnit". I'd ask you to count the stupid things that happen, but no one can count that high. In any case, have fun.

We do talk a lot about '24' here, here are some links.
Season 7 Episode 20
Season 7 Episode 21
Season 7 Episode 22
This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

6:00 AM
-The Deputy Attorney General is doing a deposition at 6:00 AM? That seems forced.
-And here's the President, she ought to have at leas taken a nap.
6:05
-This guy Bob is a character.
-Former CTU Agent Kim Bauer. Clueless.
6:06
-This is ridiculous. Jack Bauer is just going to do that.
-What was Tony going to do?
-She's like, "What are you bringing Bauer for", because she knows how dangerous it is.
-Jack Bauer is a bio-weapon, but this is ridiculous.
6:11
6:16
-Good thing, they haven't changed the thumb prints.
-What would Ethan's excuse be for being there?
-Files? That's it. Weak.
6:19
-Can the Chief of Staff detain someone?
-"He stole my property, Aaron." Really? Property? Is she in 5th Grade?
6:22
-Why hasn't anyone sent anyone to the airport yet?
-Renee Walker was pretty blase about Agent Franks dying, huh?
-"Electric tooth brush"? Or vibrator?
6:25
-It's pretty awesome. Kim Bauer is as terrible an actress as Elisha Cuthbert.
-I can't go through security with my nail clipper and these peeps had a gun and a knife? Unbelievable.
-Haha. The low battery forces Kim into action. Kim is the only traveler, ever, to not charge her cell phone when stuck at the gate. I don't know about this show.
6:28
6:32
-Olivia is playing with a really, REALLY weak hand.
-What is she threatening him with? Like, if he does have the recording, what was his crime?
-The Chief of Staff can't order a criminal investigation. I don't think he can be searched without a warrant.
-I bet that was a duplicate card.
-I hate Olivia.
6:35
-Yeah, duplicate card.
-"A companion device to the recorder in my car." That's totally reasonable.
6:37
-Why are those guys wearing masks?
-Is this '24' or 'X-Files'?
6:40
6:44
-Why is that guy Martin just walking around at 6:44? Didn't he go back to bed?
-The FBI couldn't tap into the airport cameras? Of course they could, it would just make things too easy.
-Are those airport cops bad, too?
6:47
-That guy was good enough to shoot both cops while driving after being shot in the leg? And charming.
-"With a D11 inverse router..." Oh, now she's smart again.
6:49
6:54
-Pretty cool that the dude's car has a USB input. I'd like that.
6:55
-Spinal tap Jack Bauer getting another 3 JBKCs!
-3+38=41 JBKCs.
-Haha, try to harvest his organs into bio-weapon with your neck broken, Doctor.
6:59
7:00
-Did they not do previously on...? They did that for the last couple double episodes.
-Taxi lot, completely abandoned.
-Tony hotwired a forklift.
-Jack Bauer was going to self-immolate.
-Seriously, do they really make Aaron Pierce work this long?
-So, can Ethan unresign?
-"This isn't about getting my job back, it's about the truth."
7:07
-"This is the man who murdered my wife, Jack."
-Crazy, double double double Agent Tony Almeda?
-"You're not honoring Michele's life. You are reveling in her death and she would despise you for this."
-So... Tony just had a suicide vest there? That was lucky.
-Wilson is going to look at Jack Bauer's medical record? Why?
7:11
7:15
-The redhead evil doer is very homely.
7:16
-They searched Tony, but not Jack Bauer?
-"First I want to see Bauer's pathology report?" Uhhhh. Why?
-"Fire at will"! Because all of the bad guys were just waiting for orders to shoot at the FBI?
-I'm going to give Jack Bauer 2 more JBKC's for those hip checks.
-2+41=43 JBKCs.
-It really is helpful that all handcuffs have a universal key.
7:21
-Haha. The look of the homely redhead when Tony killed her was awesome.
-"You killed my son! My son!" Tony clearly is more upset about the death of his unborn son than the death of his wife. Emmy time for Tony.
-Tony's now been shot for the 3rd time today.
-Which I suppose is better than dying for the 3rd time.
-I'm thinking Tony's only play is to testify. Why wouldn't he?
7:23
7:27
-Wouldn't Alan Wilson be a known player?
7:29
-Now the FBI's only play is to get Tony to testify.
-Oh, now they're moralizing and rationalizing torture.
-"Because maybe I thought, if I saved them, I could save myself."
-"These laws were written by much smarter men than me, and in the end I know that these laws have to be more important than the 15 people on the bus. I know that's right. In the end, I know that's right. I just don't think my heart could ever have lived with that. I guess the only advice I can give you is try to make choices that you can live with."
7:32
7:37
-I hate Olivia.
-Again, where did Olivia get $250K?
-And how did the hitman get the bomb onto to the car outside of the FBI building?
-"Alison, spare me your sanctimony." The First Husband is more of a douche bag that I figured."
7:42
-Tim the FBI guy isn't going to be there until the end of the episode. What's up with that?
-And Janice, lame until the end. That's good.
7:44
-Haha. It's the Muslim dude. And Jack Bauer invited him, that's excellent.
-"We live in complex times, Mr Bauer. Nothing is black and white." "Simply a man."
-Spiritual.
7:46
7:51
-She's going to have her arrested.
-I knew it!
-"I will do everything I can to help you through this." Like, for instance issuing a pardon.
7:56
-I really don't have any comments about the Renee/Janice torture conversation.
-Was there anyone watching who didn't know how this stem cell transplant was going to end up happening? I mean, anyone?
-Anyone?

So that's it, then. Another crappy season in the books. Looks like the show wanted to equivocate on the question of torture and leave it up in the air. Jack Bauer seems to think that torture is wrong, unless... Renee seems to be making a case for the 'ticking time bomb' theory, except nothing is ticking, there's just some vague threats of future conspiracies. And then, in favor of the rule of law is the President, sending her own daughter to jail... I don't know. Next year is going to be just as dumb.

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24 Season 7 Episode 22 5 AM – 6 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 12 May 2009 00:52:20 +0000

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I have a theory that about half of the things we saw last week in the "Scenes from next week" montage are not going to happen this week. We'll see.

We do talk a lot about '24' here, here are some links.
Season 7 Episode 20
Season 7 Episode 21
This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

5:00 AM
-Just to recap. If you were furious with someone, would you be able to smash a mirror with your bare hands and stab some dude in the neck? I don't know.
-I thought they were just going to frame this guy. They're going to actually make him deploy the weapon? That make sense to you?
-I'd been wondering all along who Tony's girlfriend reminded me of. Duh. It's Renee Walker. This is 'The Year of the Redhead' on '24'.
-"Give him enough morphine to take the pain out of his voice." Is that a clinical amount of morphine?
-Janice and Chloe both answer the phone at the same time?
-Also, Jack is trusting the henchman to run point on this and make up a story?
-How long before Janice comes up with something that Chloe can't do?
5:10
-Oh man, that was a good move, have the transit cop be a plant.
5:13
5:17
-How many hours has Aaron Pierce been working? I mean... They do work shifts, right?
-Really? The assassination went through because the operative vouched for Olivia and not because he wanted to blackmail her? Really? Come on. Who is writing this show?
-Haha. Kim is being tailed? That guy's FBI.
5:23
-Jack Bauer can't pull anyone over, he has to knock the shit out of the van they're driving over.
-I'm giving Jack Bauer a JBKC for that one. Give me a minute as I look back 50 freaking episodes for the last time he knocked someone down.
5:24
5:29
-Oh, here we go, Janice figuring out something Chloe couldn't. We didn't predict that 2 seconds ago.
-That's someone's stoop right there. Imagine waking up to flashing lights and Jack Bauer beating the hell out of someone (who had died twice before) on your stoop.
-Also, we can't be more than 2-3 minutes from the device's detonation time.
5:32
-By the way JBKC 37+1=38.
-Don't forget, Jack Bauer gets a JBKC when he cures the mad cow in his system.
-Also, is it absolutely necessary that Jack Bauer drive and talk on the phone, too?
-Did you guys realize that the escalator wasn't moving at all? Neither one was?
5:38
-Told you that guy was FBI. Or something.
5:42
-I like that random, stranger husband. He's a player.
-I knew it. I was typing it out and I realized that FBI guy was going to get killed by the friendly strangers.
5:47
-Haha. The E-Man and I had the same thought at the same time.
5:51
-Wait. Are we all aware what's going on here? I think this will be the 4th season where Kim Bauer will need rescuing. REALLY?! AGAIN?! DO THEY NOT HAVE ANY OTHER STORY LINES?!
5:54
-Well, I'm glad Olivia Taylor is going to get it. Also, what the hell is Ethan still doing awake?
-Holy crap, where did Olivia get $250,000? Seriously?
5:57
-Seems like this plan is based on a shit ton of happenstance. If Kim's phone doesn't run out of batteries, if she chooses another couple, if, if, if. Why didn't they do a small scene where Kim and the woman were sitting next to each other on a plane?
-Actually, I don't know why this is bothering me. This entire series is based on all sorts of random stuff needing to happen.

So we got one more JBKC to 38 and an entire ton of stupid. I have a surprise for you. Next week, I may or may not be able to watch the finale in real time. I'll set everything up for you guys and add the live blog when I come home, but the comments section will be open for you to go nuts in. 2 hours of Jack Bauer madness. Count the JBKCs, count the "Damnit"s, count the times Kim makes a bad decision. Marvel in the maddening writing style of unrunning escalators and random chance. See you next week.

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24 Season 7 Episode 21 4 AM – 5 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 05 May 2009 00:40:25 +0000

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I don't know if tonight is going to be different. I sure hope so. Nothing has really happened that isn't super ridiculous so there's no point in going over it again.

We do talk a lot about '24' here, here are some links.
Season 7 Episode 19
Season 7 Episode 20
This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

4:00 AM
-"However if you cooperate, there's a good chance you and your brother might live through it." For what?
-"There's no treatment, there's no cure." Sounds like a hardcore song.
-I thought Janice got a talking to, but of course the writers needed a reason to bring up racial profiling, so Janice conveniently forgot her lesson.
-Ew. Chloe's tears look like milk.
4:09
-That's some quick profiling, huh? Just kidding, obviously this is from the neighbors calling. But that's what's going to get him visited again in a moment.
4:12
4:17
-"This is his personal web account." What does that mean? Do I have that?
-Also, it's awesome how quickly they can find someone when they're running out of episodes. Also, it's easier if there's only 125 Muslims in Washington, DC.
-She wants to kill Jonas Hodges? And this is why she's arranging an assassination? There are literally hundreds of other more realistic ways for this to play out.
-How long do you think it will be before Aaron Pierce arrests Olivia? This episode? Next episode?
-New identity, already?
-My Blue Heaven 2 - The Jonas Hodges Story.
-"I can smell attitude, son, and you're giving it off pretty thick."
-I was going to write out the quotation about how hard he worked to make his name. Whatever.
4:23
4:28
-Oh, right. They've been going after everything with huge teams of people all day and for this they send crybaby Walker and Seizure Jack Bauer. That makes sense.
-Also, they found the only guy in DC who watches CSPAN.
-They found this guy because he was listed as a personal reference on a visa form. So why does this guy say they got the information from "Where does he worship?" I mean, he's got a point that they have info that they shouldn't have, but why don't they use that info?
-Jack Bauer believes that if you yell louder, that means you're telling the truth.
4:32
-You'd think brothers would have an unspoken way of communicating, right? Wait. I know they would.
4:35
-You can set up an assassination in 20 minutes? Everything is happening so fast in this episode. It's dumb. Imagine an entire season at this pace.
-OH WOW EVERYTHING WAS BACKDATED? And it took until now to figure it out.
-"I gave up on that a long time ago." Forgiveness that is. I really hope this guy converts Jack Bauer.
4:44
-It's quarter of five, aren't any of these people going to go to bed?
-Also, it's clear that Olivia is going to be arrested for conspiracy even though she canceled the hit.
-At least that's how I would do it if I was being stupid and predictable.
-"You strike me as someone who wouldn't be satisfied ferrying prisoners around." Say Jonas Hodges to the man he's met for 8 seconds.
-"I don't plan on doing this my whole life." Says the man who is obviously in his 50s.
-When the Marshall walked away from the SUV, you knew it was going to explode.
4:48
4:53
-Tim Woods just did the hold up his cell phone and I've got to take this.
-And then Olivia did it, too.
-This show is dumb.
-Ha. They set her up. Blackmail!
4:55
-Haha. That was awesome. The brother smashed the window and stabbed him in the neck in about 2 seconds.
-There sure were a lot of people walking around the train station for 5 AM.

I don't know, seems like there's been a LOT of shows without any JBKCs. We're not watching the show to see Tony turn people into terrorists. Also, did you see Kim Bauer in the scenes from next week? She might not be in next week, but now it's obvious Jack is going to get the marrow transfer.

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24 Season 7 Episode 20 3 AM – 4 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 00:37:47 +0000

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Basically, last week didn't do anything to make me feel better about what's going on. Jack Bauer is almost totally out of the picture, though I'm sure he'll make a miraculous recovery by the end of the episode. Blah blah blah. I'll try to keep this fun for everyone, but it's really a struggle.

Check out the last couple weeks of what we've been talking about.
Season 7 Episode 18
Season 7 Episode 19
This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

3:00 AM:
-"Don't talk, your vocal chords are in seizure."
-That's 2 for Tony, huh?
-"Make sure he doesn't lose it." Like Jack Bauer's a little boy.
-"I've made a terrible, terrible mistake."
-This guy looks a little like Levar Burton.
3:06:
-Tony is much better than Levar Burton.
-Wow, they found the lawyer lady pretty quickly.
-The lawyer lady was giving Tony flack. "Don't start with me."
-Tony is pretty, but when he starts thinking, it doesn't work for anyone.
3:19
-Webex in the hizzy!
-This scene is like the opera scene in the latest Bond.
-I hate how this ringleader guy talks slowly just to add gravity.
-I'm thinking you get shot in the abs, it hurts a lot and makes it hard to kill peeps. But you definitely start bleeding if you take a shower an hour later.
3:22
3:26
-Janice is such a patsy.
-Is Hodges going to do a reverse Kevorkian thing here?
-"Relax, Mr Hodges, you're already dead."
-"Muhammed this, Achmed that." That's sensitive, '24'.
-Wow, they have excellent lie detection software, huh?
-"Consider the resources of the government at your disposal."
3:34
-The President says Jack really hilariously.
-Why do they need to "Reconstitute the CTU servers?" This doesn't make any sense. Did I miss something?
-They didn't take the data, they just mothballed the servers?
3:37
3:41
-Tim, the field ops guy, has a lot of questions, huh?
-Jeeze, Tim, shut the hell up.
-"He was using you and Bill all along...in an effort to seize power."
-Why exactly was Tony working with Bill and Chlow? What did he get out of that? There was just no point in it.
3:46
-Why do they need so many guys to kill this non-terrorist guy? I feel like I'm only watching half the episode and the explanations for all the stupid plot holes are in the parts I'm not watching.
-What's bothering me is that the plot holes are just lazy. Like they wrote the show in some sort of 25 minute brainstorming session.
3:48
3:52
-The Attorney General asks Secret Service dudes to check on Chiefs of Staff?
-Aaron Pierce should rat out Olivia for exposing state secrets.
-Aaron Pierce is a world class diplomat and he knows how to defuse crazy situations.
-All political operatives are gay apparently.
-Really, Olivia? This is the guy she calls? Has she not heard of the CIA?
3:57
-"If you think your need to complain is more important....blah, blah, blah." In any case, I feel like Garafolo should have had some ethical issues with this role.
-Tony shouldn't be in the field. If he gets punched in the side, it's all over for him, right?

Hey! How about that. 3 episodes in a row that sucked! Plot holes? Check! Unnecessary and lazy plot holes? Check! Jack Bauer whisper? Check! Maybe it's me. Maybe I just don't get it. I really need to find another show to live blog.

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24 Season 7 Episode 19 2 AM – 3 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 23:02:30 +0000

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If you remember from last week, I freaked out a little bit about Tony Almeda's (seeming) move to the dark side after killing Larry Moss dead. While that was one of the more surprising moments in television history, it was surprising because '24' had spent the better half of a season setting Tony up as a good guy (after setting him up as a bad guy). If they can do whatever they want, why should we even bother watching it, let alone writing about it?

Imagine if you went into work tomorrow and told your boss, "I just signed a $12 million client!" Everyone would probably be excited and surprised. And then a couple days later when you said, "Just kidding, I didn't really sign anyone," everyone would be SHOCKED, they'd never see it coming. And then you'd get fired. That's what watching '24' is like, you don't care about the plot twists because they're based on lies. In any case, we'll be back here live at 9 EST.

Want to know what we've said about '24' the last couple weeks?
Season 7 Episode 17
Season 7 Episode 18
This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

2:OO AM
-You all knew that's what they were doing, right? Faking the lawyer and her White House security clearance. They couldn't have done that in advance? Also, why not just kill the lawyer?
-If you couldn't tell, I'm in full disdain mode.
-I wish I could say this was the last of Kim Bauer, but you never can tell when they'll bring her back.
-Haha. Agent Walker is the ranking agent. And only 2 hours ago, she was in custody.
-And Janice is going to be the new White House notifier?
-"Someone is going to need to notify Larry's ex-wife. Probably shouldn't be me." Haha. Because I broke up the marriage!
2:10
-Pretty awesome how free they are with the news that Larry Moss was killed.
-"You want me to blow up a couple dozen FBI Agents?" What will that do?
-I'm psyched that Jack Bauer is at least going back into the field.
2:13
Cool new Mac ad.
2:17
-I'll say again, why was it so hard to clone the lawyer ahead of time. Also, why not just have the lawyer be bad?
2:19
-The bad lawyer is probably going to kill Jonas, right?
-Or give him a suicide pill.
-I don't think the lawyer can insist that Jonas not be spoken too, I guess she can try though, huh?
-Ho, that guy looks familiar... Anyone remember who it is?
-I like Jack Bauer trying to psychoanalyze Renee.
-Alright, I know there's a lot to process emotionally, but can we find the canister?
-And Jack Bauer has figured it out.
-Auto fire? Wasn't it a shotgun.
-Jack Bauer figured it out, but wouldn't Tony have known Jack Bauer would figure it out.
2:27
2:32
-Hey now, that's not Chase. Does Chase know Stephen? That man has 2 arms.
-Terry?!
-Oh Jeebus. Didn't she have a baby with Chase? WTF.
-Kim, didn't you tell him about his granddaughter named after your old wife?
2:34
-Who is Agent Stoller? Can some dude just get into the FBI radio?
2:38
You notice that the guy from that T-Mobile commercial is Mel's husband from Flight of the Conchords?
2:42
-I swear, they better not make Hodges out into a sympathetic character now. That's all they need to do, isn't it?
-You know what else, though? Megalomaniacs like Jonas Hodges can not commit suicide.
-Is he having a heart attack or choking on the pill.
2:45
-Do we know how they're all listening to Agent Stoller? Have they heard of him before?
2:47
-Wow, it's a good thing Jack Bauer was there in the operations HQ, huh?
-I'm going to say it. This show is dumb.
2:48
Life After People: The Series looks cool. It's the first post reality show.
2:52
-Tony brings Agent Walker out, right?
-I guess not.
-"We need a medic." Isn't everyone calling for a medic now?
-Here we go. Jack Bauer in the HOUSE.
-"Kill you myself." Again. So you can die for the 3rd time.
-Does Tony really think he can talk his way out of this?
-Jack Bauer is going to give his seizure a seizure...
-And he would have stopped the ambulance before they drove away. And they would have had a triage set up to send the most badly hurt men to the hospital first.
2:59

This live blog might just turn into a curmudgeonly look at everything that's wrong with '24'. I'll try to prevent that. I'd say next week should be better, but I have no more hope. Things are bleak. Things are bleak.

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Take THAT, DC!

aaron cohen — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 21:52:58 +0000

This is from last week, or the week before, but James Wolcott's not-too-long take down of the DC hive-mindset is great, each delicious sentence dripping with scorn.

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24 Season 7 Episode 18 1 AM – 2 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 00:08:18 +0000

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Wow, last week was boring, possibly even more boring than the week before. Hopefully this week is a little better. Apparently, we're getting Kim Bauer back again this week, so we'll have her character to kick around.

We'll be back with you at 9:00 EST.

Want to know what we've said about '24' the last couple weeks?
Season 7 Episode 16
Season 7 Episode 17
This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

1 AM
-I keep forgetting how much I hate Voight in this season.
-I just saw Elisha Cuthbert's name in the credits. They couldn't have kept her out to keep up the surprise?
-I think Jack Bauer just called the President a liar.
-RP-7 rocket fuel. Anyone know if that's real?
-The President just gave Jack Bauer operational authority.
1:08
-I'd really prefer for Tony to just kill these guys and not mess around.
-Why weren't the rockets fueled up already?
1:13
Oh, Morgan Freeman doing Visa commercials, interesting.
1:17
-"He may not look like much, but he's a genius." Interesting.
-Wait, Hodges is trying to deny he was involved? Why bother?
-They have a business plan. They must be serious.
-Oh, here we go.
-Where did that other guy come from?
-This Dr. Scientist guy is a prick, no?
1:24
-THAT WAS AWESOME.
-Shouldn't someone call the President and have them arrest Hodges?
-Now, what are they going to do to jerk us around for 6 more week?
-"My only crime is that I'm trying to protect this machine. You think this ends with me? I'm just a small cog in a very big machine."
-Did Redstate.com write this dialogue? The self-importance, the hero complex, it's all so ugly.
1:27
1:31
-The team didn't provide an option. They provided THE option.
-Can you imagine what a panicked and senile Jack Bauer running around the FBI office?
-I resent Kim Bauer. She's the original character that shows the misogyny of the writers.
-"I'm ready to pay for what I've done." Sepia Tony's my favorite. I hope he doesn't run away.
-She was at the cemetery this morning? What cemetery?
-Wait, cemetery or Senate Hearing. She must have said Senate Hearing.
1:37
1:43
-Meh. She looked better in Season 1.
-She looks like such a Tilly. Was her hair always so fakely dyed?
-"I'm the one that pushed you away and blamed you for all the stupid mistakes I've made in my life." I can think of like 15 things she did in the first 3 seasons that just made everything worse.
-Oh, so this is what we're going to looking at, a couple stray canisters?
1:49
1:54
-Why is Janice asking all those questions? I just don't see the point of her character?
-Can Tony jump onto the truck out of the helicopter?
-Oh man, what the hell, Tony is another double agent? Come on, really?
-So that's it for Larry Moss, but... Couldn't Tony have screwed everything up for America like 50 other times?
-By not exploding the rockets maybe? Also, this is just fucking lazy and disrespectful by the writers. I hate this shit more than anything. It all depends on Tony being in the helicopter with Larry. And why even bother showing us Tony killing the Starkwood dudes etc. You just CAN'T flip flop people every week. Fuck '24' and the writers.
-Look at me, I can be a writer for TV. Here's a character that has died twice. He was good. Then bad. Then dead. Then bad. Then good. Then bad again. Why even bother?
1:59

Fuck this shit. There's not even any point writing about this because it's just stupid.

###

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24 Season 7 Episode 17 12 AM – 1 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 00:13:11 +0000

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What did you think about Matt's Live Blog last week? Personally, I found it amazing that he made so much sense considering he's never seen the show, ever. Last week, we're left with Jack Bauer at the FBI and the FBI getting taken captive by Starkwood. I'm not sure what they think their endgame is, but I don't see how this plays out. Really. Also, the First Daughter is a scumbag and we hates her.

We'll be back with you at 9:00 EST.

Until the live blog starts, here is what we've said about 24 before.
Season 7 Episode 15
Season 7 Episode 16
This 24 Tag will take you to ALL of the '24' related content on Unlikelywords.

12:00 AM
-The dialogue really is super awful this year.
-Does John Voight really get to determine which building the President wants them to search?
-I don't know if I can watch this storyline anymore. It makes me sick because of how similar John Voight sounds to Glenn Beck.
12:07
-Why isn't Starkwood listening in this conversation? They have the radio frequencies from last week.
12:09
-"Doug Knowles. Jack Bauer sent me." Shouldn't Knowles have his own loyal security force?
-Jack Bauer's mad cow disease is kicking up.
12:10
I liked that Sprint commercial, too.
12:15
-"Visual confirmation from you, Jack, eyes on." That seems like they're just building false barriers.
-Haha. Not only is the First Daughter a scumbag. She's weak and stupid. Getting blackmailed by a reporter. Sad.
12:18
-So she's going to get Pierce to take her to the reporter and she's going to try to use her sex to get him to stop. Or she's going to kill him.
-Tony just told Janice. "Uh, yeah, I know what it is, you stupid fool." That was good.
-How long until the CDC give Jack Bauer some mad cow fixing juice?
12:22
And how long until he injects adrenaline into his heart, Tommy Lee Kickstart My Heart Style.
Say this in a ridiculous newscaster voice and you can understand what I just heard: "How 7 children got scabies!"
12:27
-John Voight hates when soldiers think for themselves.
12:29
-The reporter knows the best way into a lady's heart is to blackmail her.
-Olivia is the worst ever. What a twit.
-Haha. The First Daughter is so ridiculous. She gave up all the secrets and now the sex, too? What exactly does she get out of it?
-She's going to press the panic button and get Ken crushed?
-The doctor said this type of weapon is especially virulent. Has she met Jack Bauer?
-I'm going to give Jack Bauer a JBKC when he gets cured of the mad cow.
12:33
Some housekeeping:
It looks like someone from China is following along. Say hello, ok?
Also, wait a couple days and go check out the recap at The Bauer. They know what they're doing.
12:35
12:40
-Adam, that swingkickchokehold is pretty sweet, but it works better when there's 4 guys.
-I'm predicting an elevator fight in 3...2...1...
-Damn, wrong.
12:42
-OK, Tony, don't be a hero.
-Doug Knowle's dialogue is about 40 thousand times better than John Voight's.
-Grandpa Voight can still fight.
-Starkwood has "radio intercepts", but doesn't have radio scanners. Beautiful.
12:47
12:51
-Excuse the yucky, but we now know that Olivia and the reporter are 18 minutes.
-I still think the reporter is in a stronger position. He bagged the President's daughter AND COS.
12:53
-I wonder what's going to happen considering that last year they had a town in California getting nuked.
-"Proprietary line?" What does that even mean?
12:56
-The planes aren't going to get there before the rockets are launched?
-But the planes got there before the 30 seconds were up, what happened.
-And at the beginning of last week, they said it would take 2 hours to get the weapons ready. Over delivering every day!

Snoooze. Oh, I'm sorry, was I sleeping? Thanks for 2 boring episodes in a row, Jack Bauer and Co. Tony showed some chops, which was nice, but we really need Jack Bauer back in the game. How long until Renee Walker undermines Jack Bauer and collects Kim Bauer from whatever Skinimax she's doing now? 2 episodes? 3? See you next week everyone!

###

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24 Season 7 Episode 16 11 PM – 12 AM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:52:24 +0000

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Big surprise this week, folks. I will be in an undisclosed location from 9 PM - 10 PM EST, but I know the Live Blog must go on. I've arranged for the trusty proprietor of Unlikely Words, Matt, to fill in for the week. I'll be watching the episode tomorrow evening and adding my Live Blog thoughts then. In the meantime, let's remember where we were.

Jack Bauer got his JBKC up to 37 in a 2 against 9 firefight and was able to momentarily capture the bioweapon. However, Sepia Tony was captured, Jack Bauer was exposed to the bioweapon, and the bioweapon was recaptured by Starkwood's assault team. They showed previews of an assault on Starkwood with military helicopters, but I wouldn't be surprised if that doesn't happen until next week. In any case, be nice to Matt!

Here are a few more links for you.
Season 7 Episode 14
Season 7 Episode 15
Here is all the Unlikely Words 24 coverage.

---

Hey, folks! Matt here. I'm totally psyched for my first ever Live Blog of the Twenty-Four Television Show. As Aaron said, I haven't actually ever watched this show before, but I'm sure the "previously on 24" will catch me up. Right?

(Ooh, neat, House. Never watched that either. Check out the American accent on Bertie Wooster!)

Previously, someone shot Red Forman? And a lady President? And an FBI agent who's been bitten by a vampire? These are very helpful previouslies! With the little name tags and everything?

11:00 PM
Hee! It's a Jack Bauer car wash. I hope he gets the Turtle Wax.
Is that... Janeane Garafalo? The hell?
"It's in our manual." That's... not a cool line, Jon Voight. He's not really bringing the pep talk, is he? I'm assuming these are the bad guys, because they're all wearing black. And punching this gentleman with the cool facial hair.
Jon Voight can't believe he's hearing "give up" from the squirrelly guy? He's the squirrelly guy!

These doctor people? They are... very stilted.

11:10 PM
Who's this girl? The one who looks kinda like Rory Gilmore?
Rick Berman? Isn't he the Star Trek guy?
I have to believe the scripts for this show use ellipses liberally. "Some kind of DUN DUN DUN neurological pathogen."
Aaaand... commercial. Wow, this live blogging is harder than it looks. I'll try to keep up.

11:18 PM
We're back! This is a very emotional scene! I'm sure it's quite powerful if you know who these people are. Are they going to kiss?
Why does she want the gimpy agent? He's all old and brokey.

11:20 PM
"We've just learned that the day doesn't end at 11:20 PM. This is an important breakthrough!"
Mad cow weapon? Rad.
1,500 mercenaries? That would be a very small war in our own backyard.
Listen to law guy. "Congressional approval... from those douchebags in Congress. Laws suck." I have decided that this president's name is Georgina Bush.
Whoah! Squirrelly guy! I did not see that coming.
Well, that was 25 minutes of "suspense," just to find out that Jack's fine. I really totally thought they'd kill off the main character! Because I have never watched series television before.

11:30
OK, now I look like a jackass. I guess Jack is screwed after all. I'm sure he'll be dead before the end of the season. Because I have never watched series television before.
What the hell happened to his chest? Does Jack have leprosy, too?
Are these two going to kiss, too? Everyone's so intense on this show! (I should probably specify who I was thinking of when I typed this, but it applies to just about everyone, so...)

11:34 PM
Is there a single line of dialogue in this show that isn't exposition? This is like a master class in how not to write a television script.
Commercials? Again?

11:40 PM
You... have to ask the president for immunity? Shouldn't they be talking to the attorney-general? Oh, I see, he's Law Douche.
Nice product placement! WebEx... for all of your going-around-the-law needs.
It's not super dramatic when Jeneane Garofalo moves her Logitech webcam around.
There are a lot of commercials on this show.

Let's just recap: we're 45 minutes into the hour, and has anything actually happened, really? Jack's sick, this Tony fellow is up and about, they know where the weapons are, and there are exciting personnel changes afoot in the White House!

11:51 PM
Action Tony!
Wait, if they can intercept government transmissions, why were they interrogating Tony?
Action FBI!
"Check your wireless frequency... jerk!" Man, what stirring rhetoric. Wait, is the guy in the tower not going to tell his boss that the FBI is coming? What a helpfully incompetent henchman!
Dark blurry action!
Ooh, squirrelly guy double-cross! No one could have seen that coming. Seriously, I was completely surprised. Because I have never watched series television before.
Uh, bad guys? You know this is treason, right? What's your endgame?

---

Well, that was... an hour of my life. I hope regular 24 fans enjoyed the show and tolerated my second-rate live-blogging! Next week, you'll have the real deal back, don't worry.

(Thanks for visiting Unlikely Words. If you liked what you read Subscribe to RSS, check out our About Page, read some of our favorite posts or Follow us on Twitter)

Wow, that's annoying. I just stayed up an extra hour to do the blog tonight and then lost it all when WordPress decided to log me out. That's pretty frustrating. I'll see what I can remember though. Essentially, the First Daughter is a scumbag and there should be nepotism laws preventing her from being named chief of staff. This episode brought to you by Cisco Webex. The bad guys said at the beginning of the episode that the weapons would be ready in about 2 hours.

I'm also curious to know how someone assembled the Joint Chiefs and the Cabinet in 7 minutes AND wrote a briefing. I thought all along that Seaton was playing Tony, but I thought he was doing it nefariously and not impishly. I wonder how Starkwood got 1500 men to agree to go into the conspiracy and not a single one of them spilled the beans. Those guys aren't going to kill Navy Seals. FBI maybe, though. Jack Bauer has a lot of scars. Renee is annoying. This episode brought to you by Webex by Cisco. They didn't bring enough men to the compound, which for some reason is going to make it so they can't get even more men to rescue them. I don't understand why the writers of '24' are so critical of the Blackwater Military Industrial Complex, are they trying to present Starkwood as sympathetic? And how about that ending, huh? I can't believe we're actually going to go THERE. This is batshit insane territory.
Sorry about the lack of minute by minute, but Matt's accounting definitely does the trick. Jack Bauer didn't get any JBKC's, and I didn't see scenes from next week.

###

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24 Season 7 Episode 15 10 PM – 11 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:10:43 +0000

Episode 14 was kind of lame, wasn't it? Jack Bauer only raised the JBKC by 1 to 32 and only other moment of note in the entire episode was Senator Meyer getting shot. Actually, that's not true. Jack Bauer knocking the trailer over with a bulldozer was another notable moment. I'm hoping this is the week we introduce a vigilante militia, that's really the only thing we haven't seen on '24'.

Here's some more UW24.
Season 7 Episode 1 and 2
Season 7 Episode 3 and 4
Season 7 Episode 5
Season 7 Episode 6
Season 7 Episode 7
Season 7 Episode 8
Season 7 Episode 9
Season 7 Episode 10
Season 7 Episode 11 and 12
Season 7 Episode 13
Season 7 Episode 14
Season 7 Episode 15
Season 7 Episode 16
Redemption
24 Tag from UnlikelyWords featuring season 5 and 6 Live Blog.

10:00 PM
-This is going to be a tough conversation. "Do you have Jack Bauer in custody?" Uh, no, actually Jack Bauer killed the Senator. Eeeep.
-Is Ethan going to kill himself?
-Huzzah, the First Gentleman is OK! Yay!
-"Henry's a lot tougher than anyone thought." That's a back-handed compliment for all time.
-I can't believe that the President is the only one saying, "Why would Jack Bauer do this after everything he did today." It doesn't make any sense.
-Well, he's going to resign. A letter on the desk in the morning? So much can happend between now and then.
10:10
-That's a bummer, the security guard father of twins is the one working over time about to get shivved? Sad.
-Scratch that. Father of twins to be.
10:12
-Does anyone else think it's distasteful for Dominoes to capitalize on the economic situation, especially since you still have to buy $15 worth of food.
10:16
-Do they have John Voight saying lines like "They're six year olds and they need to eat their carrots." and "Tell them to bring their pajamas and toothbrushes" because they couldn't get Christopher Walken? Hard to tell.
-Whenever you ask someone if they've assassinated a Senator and they answer first with a question and then with an evasive answer, then yes, they had something to do with it.
10:20
-Tony is pissed that Jack Bauer promised, because Tony knows the security guard is dead already.
10:25
Haha, neither Tara, Jon, or I think Jack Bauer's promise to the security guard is worth anything. What say you, other readers?
10:28
-Why did all those guys get out of their trucks waiting for the gate to open. If the security cameras WEREN'T shut off wouldn't they all get caught?
-"He was dead the minute he stepped out that door. You and I both know that."
10:31
-I promised Willie C. that I'd fit Bron Bron into the Live Blog if he commented. We'll see what I can do.
-I don't know why I'm so hung up on this, but I REALLY want a vigilante militia to meet Jack Bauer at the port.
-Why is Olivia such a bitch? Such a double crosser.
10:34
Why is the woman in the Citi commercial riding a bike with another guy talking about her husband?
I can't remember if I've talked about this before, but the thing I hate most about TV shows is disrespectful writing. Disrespectful writing is when the writers mess around and do whatever they want. By making characters seem good and then bad and then good, you can't really then make them bad. It's disrespectful to your viewers and frankly it's lazy. What do you think?
10:39
-Why don't they just let us assume that Jack Bauer and Co eat and sleep and poop during the last 8 minutes of the hour instead saying it's 10:39 when it's 9:36.
-Wait, Larry Moss. Small mind. Doesn't understand. All evidence points to Jack Bauer being innocent. Me no understand. How Jack Bauer kill Senator Meyer if all evidence say no?
10:42
-Hold on. Renee Walker is in federal custody and they let her keep her cell phone?
-My guess is that if Jack Bauer and Tony shot up a bunch of those guys, the rest would scatter.
-2 against 9 seems like some pretty good odds, doesn't it? This is Tony and Jack Bauer.
-JBKC 32+1=33.
10:45
-Ben, good point about the '24' Daughter Corollary. I might have to do some research to expound on that more.
-JBKC 32+4=37.
-Let's suss this out for a second. The bad guys send Cooper off to double cross the security guard WHO HAD A GUN and when Cooper winds up dead, they immediately assume they're under attack and call for a code red instead of assuming that the security guard WHO HAD A GUN killed Cooper.
10:49
-Did you take the over on 4, Willie? I give Jack Bauer a JBKC (Jack Bauer Knockdown Count) whenever he knocks someone down at least because it's too difficult to determine if he killed someone or not.
10:54
-"I'm in possession of biological weapon." Jack Bauer said he interdicted it. Awesome.
10:55
-Ben, can you make a Lebron joke? I promised one to Willie.
-If you go hang out with a biological weapon, does holding your breath really help?
-And, helicopter shooting at biological weapon, good idea or bad? Discuss.
-"Damnit!" Love it!
10:58
-They should get the army if they want to raid Starkwood, right?

Holy crap! Jack Bauer shower scene next week, that should make the Bauer Puffs happy, huh? Also, an assault on Starkwood. Though, do they really have an army? Most of the dudes who weren't involved with bioweapons would probably be like, "Uh, you don't pay me enough to fight against guys who actually know how to shoot." Jack Bauer got his JBKC up to 37 and he saved a security guard. All in all a good day by his standards. I still want the vigilante militia. A rogue para-military security company just doesn't count!

(Thanks for visiting Unlikely Words. If you liked what you read Subscribe to RSS, check out our About Page, read some of our favorite posts or Follow us on Twitter)

###

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24 Season 7 Episode 14 9 PM – 10 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 23:33:56 +0000

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Last week (Season 7 Episode 13), Jack Bauer brought the carnage, raising the JBKC from 24 to 31, but something about this week tells me there weren't be as much mayhem. The letter for today is M. Morris getting it from Moss and Meyers getting it from, well, Jack Bauer.

For the Live Blog last week, I did the updates in reverse chronological order. This was a huge pain and no one seemed to notice so I'm going back to the old way. If you have thoughts on this, let me know and I'll probably switch back again.

Here's some more UW24.

Season 7 Episode 11 and 12
Season 7 Episode 13
Season 7 Episode 15
Plus everything UW24 related, including Season 5, Season 6, and Redemption.

9:00 PM
-What is Janice in charge while Larry Moss is away?
-Does Garafolo have that star tattoo in real life?
-Oh! Here we go, Helicopter Larry taking another ride.
9:05
-Jack Bauer just got into the hospital surveillance and emailed a cropped photo from one of the images to Renee was driving? That's pretty boss.
-"[Jack] Bauer is an excellent operator." You can say that again.
-"If [Jack] Bauer connects us to Juma, it will seriously impede this operation." ORLY? Won't it end this operation?
-John Voight SUCKS. It's like he did all of his lines in
-"Tell them to pack their pajamas and tooth brushes, it's going to be a long night." Did Mr. Rogers write Voight's lines?
9:09
-Did Larry Moss say, "Renee talked to Bauer" because of what Janice said, or did he just ignore her question. I'm choosing to believe he ignored her.
9:11
From the commercials - "I'm working form the road today." So is Jack Bauer.
9:15
9:17
9:19
-I just don't have anything to snark about this...
-Larry Moss' "Damnit" was NOWHERE near as good as Jack Bauer's.
9:20
-Presumably, they showed Senator Red Foreman's alarm going off because it will play a role... But I doubt it.
-Jack Bauer sounds tired. He's getting old, huh?
-The writers of '24' blasting Blackwater/Starkwood now. I think this is the first occasion of the year where they confuse me by ripping something I would expect them to hold dear.
9:24
9:29
-I'm already tired of the First Daughter.
-Haha. The press is applauding. Can you imagine if they did that for real?
-The murder of Ryan Burnett wouldn't have leaked yet... Oh, the First Daughter is doing some leaking. That's dirty.
9:31
-Larry Moss did the leaking? Renee Walker? Or someone else we didn't know...
-Renee encrypted something that Janice couldn't open? WTF does Janice have going for her?
9:33
-Larry Moss doesn't have the authority to grant immunity...
-'Blowfish 148', "No one here knows how to crack it." AT THE FBI? There's 2 people in the building who can crack it not working for the FBI... What a joke.
9:36
-This episode sucks.
9:40
-I hope Helicopter Larry takes a helicopter to Meyer's house.
-"It is impossible to overestimate [Jack] Bauer."
-Jack Bauer has a lot of regrets. Especially that the world needs people like him.
-"You just need to understand that where I work things get a lot messier than when you work on the Hill, Senator."
-This is a stretchy stretchy stretchy stretch. Why didn't they just make the connection a little stronger? I'll tell you why. The writers don't respect you as a viewer.
-"It's time for you to start trusting the institutions you've sacrificed so much to protect."
-"Trust isn't my greatest asset."
-Oh man! I did NOT see that coming. Yay!
9:48
9:53
-Why would an exclusive with the President kill the story? The source at the Marshalls' office obviously wanted to get the story out for some reason... Won't he just leak it to someone else?
-Quinn's going to get jumped if he keeps following the blood trail.
9:56
-I think knocking over a trailer that someone is in is good for a JBKC, don't you? 31+1=32.
-"Monitoring the FBI bandwidth." What does that mean?
-I hope Jack Bauer uses the screwdriver he killed Quinn with to start the... Haha. Yup, there we go.

Looks like next week we get back to the action basics. At least I hope so. Today's episode was garbage until Meyer got shot and we all should have been able to predict that, don't you think? JBKCs go up to 31, right on track for... Well, right on track. I don't know if this is what happens, but what if there was a militia of vigilantes that gets involved next week and helps Jack Bauer and Sepia Tony. Sort of like the Minute Men guarding the Mexican border, but these guys guard the ports. That would be truly Wingnutastic so I hope we get it. See you next week.

(Thanks for visiting Unlikely Words. If you liked what you read Subscribe to RSS, check out our About Page, read some of our favorite posts or Follow us on Twitter)

###

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24 Season 7 Episode 13 8 PM – 9 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:31:52 +0000

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This week we'll get to see the White House explosion that they prematurely previewed 2 weeks ago and Jack Bauer's JBKC is at 24. I'm expecting that will rise significantly this week. Also predicting a death for Bill Buchanan, and maybe Senator Meyers and Aaron Pierce as well. We might find out what's in the special Juma shipment, but we all know it's probably something to do with bio-weapons. Finally, I hope this episode is better than the 2nd hour of last week. There were way too many holes there.

Also, I'm going to try something new today and update from the top down. The reason I haven't been doing that is because it stinks for reading the next day, but I can just transpose that back after the show. Let me know how you feel about that.

Until the live blog starts, keep yourself busy with some links to catch up.
Season 7 Episode 10
Season 7 Episode 11 and 12
Season 7 Episode 14
Season 5, Season 6, Redemption and everything UW24 related.

8:00 PM
-Really? The news gets these stories so quickly? My guess is if there’s a hostage situation at the White House, you don’t know about it until an hour after it’s over.
-“You were right to fire me off the campaign.” Hello? I wonder what that’s about.
-Haha. That Senator is such a ninny. What a joke.
-The General’s English isn’t so good. He thought “release” meant “kill” and he thought “good faith” meant “bad faith”.
8:06
-They have no way to shut down the feed? That's dumb. Shut off all of the power all over everywhere.
-Where did Ethan go? Was he tipped off?
-Holy crap, we knew Bill Buchanan was going to get it, but it was still a shock, wasn't it?
-Jack Bauer got 6 that time. So that puts the JBKC 24+6=30. 30 JBKCs in 13 episodes. I told you tonight was going to be bloody.
8:11
-Still sad about Bill Buchanan getting killed.
-Wait, Smashing Pumpkins do commercials? Oh Billy Corgan, remember when you said you’d never?
8:16
-They never explained where the Marines on the roof were. They could have brought the ruckus.
-I could do without the mother/daughter scenes.
-“He died protecting his country.” I wonder if Jack Bauer is going to do any, “Make sure Bill Buchanan didn’t die for nothing.” Also, where is Sepia Tony?
-Wow, I thought it would take a little bit longer than that.
-Standing orders to take Jack Bauer into custody?
-Why does she need to go through Ethan?
8:21
Philip Anthony-Rodriguez is playing Tom Chapman, but I don’t know who Chapman is yet.
8:26
-I sort of feel like Ethan is a traitor and he’s going to kill Burnett and blame it on Jack Bauer and Moss.
8:30
-The President is so motherly. She loves Patrick like a son. And frankly, this is off topic, but I still can’t believe that young Sarah Paulsen dates old Cherry Jones.
-In reality, the President that survives a terrorist attack on the White House gets a free political pass for several weeks. Bring back the daughter!
8:33
-Where is Sepia Tony? Want!!!
-Maybe if we stayed out of his way none of this would have ever happened? Orly?
-“I’ve known this woman for nine years and I’ve never seen her do the stuff she’s done in the last nine hours.” Orly?
8:35
-How many helicopter rides does one man need to take in 24 hours before he gets a nickname like Helicopter Larry? You know, like Helicopter Ben?
-"Oh, Quinn's good. [Jack] Bauer's good, too."
8:41
-John Voigt is mailing it in so excellently in this season.
-Is the assassin trying to decide who to kill by asking about family?
-Apparently.
-I mean… they JUST did the “person sneaking into the hospital trick to kill the bad guy trick.” They can’t think of something new?
8:46
-Wow, Aaron Pierce no shirt, huh? He’s got a firery chest.
-Hahaha. Ethan was trying to sweet Olivia and she snake tounges him. That was amazing.
8:49
8:53
-The fact that Larry Moss isn’t going into the room with him means Jack Bauer is going to get blamed for something wicked bad.
-Here we go. Why don’t they go into the room right now?
-This is frustrating.
-Jack Bauer is out of there.
-That was about as predictable as it gets.
-JBKC 30+1=31
8:59
-I’m thinking Larry is going to listen to Jack Bauer now because he’s got no choice.
-Did you guys notice that the “Imagine Entertainment” thing always skips a beat right before they show scenes from next week?

The scenes from next week make next week look weak. I mean, how much do we care about Larry Moss putting the screws to Morris so he can save Chloe from jail? That doesn’t seem to exciting. I love Jack Bauer going to Senator Meyers’ house, though. That should be interesting.

(Thanks for visiting Unlikely Words. If you liked what you read Subscribe to RSS, check out our About Page, read some of our favorite posts, or Follow us on Twitter)

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24 Season 7 Episode 11 6 PM – 7 PM and Episode 12 7 PM – 8 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 23:28:54 +0000

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Last week's episode was definitely the best of the year and possibly the best in several seasons. If tonight's episodes are as good (which I doubt), I'll be fried by the end of the night. I think the use of the '24' special event is a good idea to give a jump to the new plot line. Not to mention I just had my wisdom teeth out, so you'll have to bear with me.

Where were we? Jack Bauer upped his JBKC by 1 to 22. In fact, he only had one JBKC in the last 2 weeks. Something tells me that's going to change tonight. We know from last week's previews that there are explosions at the White House this week, does that mean trouble for Bill Buchanan? Remember how they brought Tony back last week, all sepia like? I was a huge fan of Sepia Tony and I hope they use that lighting some more....

We'll be live after the jump at 9:00 EST.

Season 7 Episode 10
Season 7 Episode 13
24 Tag with everything UW24 related.

6:00 PM
-Was that the most obvious Dubaku assassination ever? Also, does this guy stay on the job as a janitor?
-Have they really failed if they don't catch General Juma?
-It should make him easier to capture if he's in DC, no?
-How much does it hurt the Government's case if Dubaku was killed?
-Interesting that Dubaku has a young son involved in the atack. I wonder if Marika knew about that.
-SEPIA TONY!
-"Jack, you don't expect to interrogate a suspect inside the White House?" "Let me handle that - she's in."
-Haha. Janice was all, "Let me help," and Chloe was all, "Good idea." Then she rolled her eyes so far up her head they broke.
-"I'm driving off a cliff here, Tony."
-"You're a wanted felon." And Jack Bauer isn't?
-"If it ain't from Kentucky, you can't call it bourbon." Thanks, Ethan, you boob.
-"I have been after this son of a bitch for YEARS. He's a thug, Ethan, exhibit A."
-Let's discuss how politically impossible it would be for Senator Meyer to pick a fight with the President who somewhat successfully deflected a terrorist attack. It just wouldn't happen.
-Jack Bauer Sleeper Hold. That's a JBKC for him. #23!
6:15
-Apparently tomorrow is Chiwow-wow Tuesday because Beverly Hills Chihuahua comes out. How about that?
6:19
-Renee Walker is a little sensitive on the issue of who is in charge, eh?
-I just realized Janice Gold is wearing a purple shirt and matching purple tights.
6:22
-I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it's not possible for a rebel force to make an attack on the White House.
-Love how Jack Bauer found a suit/tie. Or actually found HIS suit and tie from this morning.
-JBKC #24, just a little Tazer for you.
6:24
6:28
-Chloe's arrest won't last long. That's for sure.
-Jack Bauer knows when you're telling the truth and he knows when you're talking shit to get out of being tortured.
-"Mr. Bauer, I am ordering you to answer this page."
-I'm not going to give Jack Bauer a JBKC for tazering the phone. I'm just not.
-"EMT's to the Visiting Dignitary suite."
-What's going to happen when Senator Meyer comes up against Juma's men?
-"And you sir are weak. Unwilling and unable to look evil in the eye and deal with it."
6:36
-Now Ethan is a torture apologist?
-That was hilarious when Jack Bauer tazered the phone.
6:38
-Senator Meyer would have to resign if his COS was on that list, right? There's no way he survives that politically.
6:42
-This FBI Agent, Tim, was on Band of Brothers...
-Is the President going to torture the COS?
-Also, how is it that pardoning this scumbag wouldn't be politically toxic but pardoning Jack Bauer is? I wonder what the liberal blogs would say about that.
6:48
-Haha. They're going to mount the attack by boat. That makes sense.
-Uh oh. Renee Walker chased the lead to an...import/export firm. Awesome.
-A visual identification of General Juma in DC would shut the city down. No doubt about that.
-Renee, you have GOT to hold on to your gun, darling.
6:50
-That was a pretty sweet Comcast commercial, huh? Indie.
6:54
-Will Bill Buchanan torture Jack Bauer in order to get this done? Or will Bill Buchanan torture Burnett? So many questions.
6:56
-General Juma is still going over plans? Have they been drilling this shit or not?
-Really? Scuba diving? That's the plan?
-Hey now, Agent Walker, no time to dry off, huh?
-I didn't know there was a jail at the White House.
-I don't think Renee could swim faster than a boat, but I do think she could beat up Dubaku.
6:59
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We definitely don't scenes from last hour right now, we were all watching!
7:00
-It's a good thing Aaron the Secret Service guy is on the job.
-5 administrations for Aaron. He knows what Jack Bauer can do.
-Ooooh, I wonder what the President's daughter has against Ethan. Probably what I do. That he's a limp noodle.
-Now the President knows General Juma is in DC. That gets the military involved...
7:05
-Agent Walker should have grabbed 1) the car, 2) the gun, 3) the radio... She's a terrible Agent.
-"I'm not trained in coercive techniques." Jack Bauer's not going to send a non-torturer in to torture a terrorist. It wouldn't do any good.
7:08
-Cold blooded! "I was looking forward to Sheila's cooking." Yeah, looking forward to it so much you stabbed Sheila's husband in the back with a screwdriver.
7:10
-"I've accessed the Secret Service tracking grid." Uh, yeah, right.
7:11
-It doesn't seem too difficult to sneak into the White House.
7:16
-You kill 4 people in the White House...5 people...7 people in the White House. Someone is going to notice. I'm serious. Someone's going to notice.
-Little Dubaku probably should have shot first. Oh well. Too bad he's just a little boy.
-Moss is going to shoot him in 3...2... Yup. There is is. Too easy.
-"I'll initiate a lock down..."
-So Juma and his men were smart enough to figure out how to get into the White House but not smart enough to steal a communications device. I don't believe it.
7:20
-I predicted last week that Bill Buchanan was going to get it. NOW they need hostages? This show is terrible.
7:22
-Juma cut off the communication? Now he's thinking about communications? Uh, right.
-Now Juma is TALKING on the Secret Service com? Why wasn't he listening that entire time?
7:25
-Inexplicably, Aaron Pierce's com is only connected to Jack Bauer? This makes no sense.
7:27
-Where is Sepia Tony during all this?
7:31
-How many times do we have to learn this season that panic rooms NEED appropriate communications devices. To say NOTHING of the fact that THISISTHEPRESIDENT'SPANICROOM.
-One of these guys should recognize Senator Meyer.
-That would be the pimpest panicroom in the world. I bet it has ESPN AND HBO.
7:36
-Haha. Look it's John Voight!
-Did we ever figure out who he was last year?
-Holy crap is this a 3rd plot line?
-John Voight knows that the President's daughter is in the White House, but doesn't realize Jack Bauer is in the White House?
-"Stress. Stress! is the fertilizer of creativity."
-Senator Meyer is definitely a Republican. Only a Republican could be in a hostage situation and blame someone else for not doing what they had wanted to do in the first place. Laughable.
7:41
7:45
-There are Marines on the roof at the White House. So... Where are they?
-Look at Renee Walker just nodding along with Larry Moss.
-"My priority must be the President's life." The VP doesn't have a conflict of interest?
-Haha. The VP's Chief of Staff is a tool, and the VP knows it. Awesome.
-Aaron Pierce didn't shoot at the bad guys? Did he fall asleep or something?
7:50
-I think they just said, "Stay tuned for scenes from an all new '24', but aren't there 10 minutes left?
-Oh, look. It's the Comcast commercial. First time, I liked it. 2nd time, I'm pissed how bad they ripped off the band that plays the song on the iPod commercial...
-Climate change!? Jack Bauer is against Climate Change AND Malaria.
7:55
-At this point, I bet General Juma could sneak out the same storm drain and no one would ever know.
-This terrorist organization is remarkable in the things they know (how to sneak into the White House and how to unlock the panic room and how to jam communications in the panic room) and how much they don't know (cameras in the hallway and how to steal a Secret Service Agent's radio).
-"No, ma'am, but I am not the President of the United States." Imagine if Jack Bauer was the President.
-If I'm a terrorist, I shoot Jack Bauer when he comes out of the panic room.
-That was shocking when General Juma slapped the president. So shocking that even though my wife isn't watching she said, "Did someone just slap the President."

Kind of lame that the previews from last week were the same as a lot of the previews for next week. You can't say "Next week on 24", show an explosion, and then have that explosion be for the week after. I'm a little bullshit about this episode there were WAY too many holes that were just sloppy and unnecessary. What's up with that? Ben predicts the shipment is bio-warfare device. I'd agree to something along those lines.

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24 Season 7 Episode 10 5 PM – 6 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 00:02:24 +0000

Interestingly, I don't think Jack Bauer killed or even knocked anyone down last week, is that possible? Last week we were treated to cameos by Aaron and Morris, WHICH WAS AWESOME! We also found out that Billy Walsh is at least one of the moles. We should be seeing Renee Walker fall in love with Jack Bauer, as if that wasn't telegraphed in the first episode. How will Larry Moss respond?

Season 7 Episode 9
Season 7 Episode 11 and 12
Everything you wanted to know about what Unlikely Words thinks about 24, but were afraid to ask.

5:00
-Ha! I knew there was another mole. Erika is such a soft target. Billy Walsh is going to get her so killed.
-Jerry's Grid makes my head explode. http://is.gd/kBHS
-Dubaku has a soft spot for the lady. That's a lot of manipulated women this year, isn't it?
5:06
-Enemy of the State came out like 10 years ago, we can't use satellite imaging to track Dubaku and Marika?
-Jack Bauer thinks the best way to subtely track Dubaku is to drive across a park? That seems stupid. Also, can't we get some coppers on the case? Also, how did Dubaku's driver know that the crazy car driving across the park was "FBI"?
-Also! That's a CAR ACCIDENT!
-JBKC +1. You don't pull a gun on Jack Bauer, you just don't.
-Marika is going to die.
-You turn your back on Dubaku for that long, he's going to disappear.
-Wait, he's still lying on the ground. What the.
-THIS IS A LOT OF ACTION. I don't know if I can keep this pace up.
5:12
5:16
-I'm not going to tolerate the President hanging out in the waiting room at the hospital for the entire 5 hours of the surgery. I'm really not.
5:18
-Is the President going to torture Dubaku at the hospital?
-Now we're recycling plot lines. Giving adrenaline to someone super messed up so you can torture them some more.
-Is there a disk inside Dubaku that just got fried by the paddles? That would be crazy.
-They're going to have to wash the blood off before they try to put that SD card into a camera. Drive in 5 minutes... So 5:27.
5:22
-I LOVE the way Billy Walsh talks to Erika. She's setting back women's lib by 15 years. 24 HATES women. Ever since Kim Bauer, women have been trash on 24. Kind of sickening.
5:29
-Here comes the big slap scene. I've been looking forward to it all week.
-I jumped the gun.
-"It's only got one download." That's the biggest load of horseshit I've ever seen.
5:31
-Billy Walsh is now going to be Vinny Delpino's best friend, isn't he?
-"Just think it through, Erika." "How could I be so stupid?" Billy Walsh is condescending, but Erika asks for it.
-How can she be SO happy about being a terrorist?
-Can't you just unplug the mainframes?
-And there goes Erika. We knew that was coming.
-The easiest way to die in 24 is to have "ika" as the last 3 letters of your name.
-Larry Moss really can't fall for this bullshit, but he's going to anyway. This is disappointing me.
5:36
5:40
-Jorge's Mom, I hope you're right. But I bet Chloe is out there right now. Billy Walsh is totally a D-Bag.
-"I was running a mirror file on an outside server. I always do that when I'm dealing with sensitive data."
-Can Chloe PLEASE make 50 copies of this file and put it all up on the internet.
5:43
-Janice Garafolo is terrible.
-Billy Walsh is going to be stopped at the gate.
-Or before.
-Saw that one coming.
-Marika's sister, Rosa, sucks, too. God. The women on this show make me feel like a misogynist.
-So is the show over now? They have the list of everyone working with Dubaku in the government.
-It would be awesome if the next 12 hours were Jack Bauer flying to Sengala and then assassinating Juma in the last 10 minutes. THAT IS GROUNDBREAKING TV.
-Show isn't over before Renee slaps Jack Bauer.
-2 slaps.
-"That stunt you pulled by the car? You ever pull your gun on me again, you better intend to use it." "I did." Oh, damn.
5:47
-Watchmen looks great. It really does.
-From the comments, "boy meets girl, boy shoots girl in neck and buries her alive, boy loses girl… but not because of that part". Nice.
5:52
-"I want to know who shot my father." Uh, what will you do? White at them? Jericho at them?
-Sorry for the interruption. Something's wrong with WordPress.
-"Jack Bauer helped save this country." For at least the 7th time, right? I mean, right?
-It's true, he deserves a pardon at least, right?
-Yes, it's TONYTIME. Sepia Tonytime. I'm glad he's back.
-So we've got another attack about to happen at the end of next episode. It's clearly an attack on the White House, which is why the Chief of Staff is really not interested in going with Senator Red Meyer.
-Sepia Tony was kind of awesome, don't you think?

That was one hell of an episode. Jack Bauer only shot one person, bringing his JBKC up to 22, that's an average of 2.2 people knocked down per hour of the day. All of this with what might be a broken rib, right? Next week's 2 hour event might give me a heart attack. Explosions at the White House? Is Bill Buchanan going to die? What will happen to Jack Bauer and Renee Walker? Larry Moss went up a little bit in my book, and again, '24' is using women as simpletons.
Also, Sepia Tony was the best. See you next week.

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24 Season 7 Episode 9 4 PM – 5 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 23:41:00 +0000

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We've come to the 4 PM - 5 PM of season 7. This week we're going to find out who the traitor is. Presumably, we'll also find out why Jack Bauer and Agent Walker are still hot and heavy to go after Dubaku, even though he doesn't seem like a threat. Anyone have any predictions for tonight's show?

If you need more '24' snark, everything we've ever written about '24' is just a click away.

5:00
-Jack Bauer's not very good at CPR, is he? He was just touching the First Gentleman's chest.
-Jack Bauer has the President's office, I wonder if he ever drunk dials.
-Bill Buchanan is going to be the President's Secret Service? Why not?
-Also, if you want your head to be exploded, check out Jerry's Twitter Grid. http://is.gd/jLqp
-From the comments, Bill Buchanan is the calmest person ever. Didn't he ever do any, "Damn it, Jacks [Bauer]"?
-"Something has come up, I have to leave the country." Does the terrorist really want to bring someone with him?
-Dubaku's home base is Belize?
-I don't know that Renee Walker is going to be able to keep going out with Larry.
-How did Jack Bauer "cross reference some information from these PDA's" and find "banking transactions all leading back to the same address"? Why not just say he looked at the recent calls or something? What kind of terrorist uses PDAs?
4:16
-MORRRISSSSSSSS!
-One more time, MORRRRRRIIIIIISSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-So are we now going to get the long awaited Janice/Chloe catfight? The internet is atwitter.
-"Jack Bauer is the most trustworthy honorable man I know. And he's my friend." What's Larry Moss' game.
-Also, how does Erica know Chloe?
4:21
-I don't know why, but I'm imagining Chloe and Janice fighting "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" style.
4:23
-If there's ever been a way for the older sister to prove her point to her younger sister, getting Jack Bauer to crash down the door is one way to do it.
4:26
4:30
-The President and her family has her own doctor. Who is this Dr Schulman?! Why aren't they at the Navy hospital?
-5 hours of surgery... That puts us into what, 10 PM?
4:32
-Doesn't Renee Walker have anything better to do than to give the girlfriend a slideshow? Really, Jack Bauer hasn't stuck a ball point pen into her thigh yet?
-It's weird that we're not going to find out if the First Gentleman lives until the end of March.
-Jono, Tony is "tracking down some leads on his own."
-Jack Bauer just talked someone ELSE out of torturing peeps. That's incongruous.
4:37
-It's not like there are that many airports they could be going. Why not just alert some peeps?
-Chloe and Janice are doing some system overriding battles.
4:43
-AARONNNNN!!!!!!!!!! Obviously.
-So whose next? Chase?
-I don't like Janice, but it was pretty cool when she called Billy Walsh a little bitch.
-Renee was going to tell her how to get out of it and Jack Bauer is like "No, no, I don't want her to do that."
4:48
-So why do they need to get Dubaku so bad? To track down the government mole? We all think it's Janice now, right?
-Are "24"s spies the only ones that still use PDA's instead of smartphones?
4:50
4:54
-Isn't Janice going to take out the...
-Oh, she just did it. F.
-That was predictable.
-Why is half a mile too close to follow? In the city? Also, where's the traffic.
-Ladies and gentlemen, Janice the mole.
-Good to know that suspects in custody can be released when someone calls and says they're the guy in charge of the FBI office.
-Ladies and gentleman, Billy Walsh the mole! Holy crap!
4:58
-Can't say I'm surprised. Though I am. Though I'm not. Though I am.

OK then. First off, the most important thing that happened this week was the reappearance by Aaron and Morris. A distant 2nd most important is that we now know that Billy Walsh is the FBI mole. We still don't know who the White House mole is, though. And that shifty guy who was helping Dubaku reminds me of Vinnie Delpino from Doogie Howser. Next week's episode features Renee Walker falling harder in love with Jack Bauer, though I bet at the end she stays with Larry Moss. What do you think happens next week?

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24 Season 7 Episode 8 3 PM – 4 PM Live Blog

aaron cohen — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 22:54:18 +0000

As I predicted last week, I think Episode 9 will be the beginning of a new plot line, a new threat, perhaps a new super bad guy. This has been the pattern the last couple years - to change the plot lines up a couple times a 'day'. I think the First Gentleman gets rescued today. You have any predictions?

Here's everything we've ever written about 24.

-(2 minutes to go and President Obama is still talking. They better not join the regularly scheduled programming in progress.)
-Oh goodie, Shepard Smith, my favorite!!
-Here we go.
3:00
-Were people watching the President's speech at a news stand? When was the last time that happened?
-"Does your wife love you enough to call of the invasion of MY country?" Isn't that what President's live for? The opportunity to martyr their husbands?
3:05
-"She's with Mr. Buchannon's people". Which people are that? Chloe O'Brien?
-And now Motobo is going to meet with his people? Who are his people? Where are all these "people"? Where were they before.
-Does anyone know how many presidents Jack Bauer has met? 3?
3:09
-Criminal masterminds and rebel leaders are just not allowed to call the President. They're just not. This is too much of a suspension of disbelief.
-Also, there's no chance that the President bows to this pressure. Jack Bauer should have hung up on Dubaku.
-So it seems likely that Ethan is probably bad, right? How can he keep going back to having them pull out? That's not even politically astute.
-"You can trust me." "Officially, we don't exist." "With all due respect, Madame President, ask around."
-"What can you do on such short notice?"
-"Madam President, you don't HAVE another choice."
-That was fucking excellent. Thank you.
3:15
-"I'm alive, but you can't let anyone know." "The Bureau is compromised."
-It sounds silly when they say "First Gentleman".
3:17
I've got to say that that scene swung wildly from horrid to awesome. I'm almost ashamed how much I just enjoyed that.
3:21
-Does anyone like Janice Gold?
3:23
-Oh Jack Bauer get off your high horse.
-Here's a poll I put up. http://twtpoll.com/nl9v97 Who do you think is the mole? Renee, Larry, Billy Walsh, Ethan? Vote and let me know.
3:30
-Is Renee going to lose her nerve? I'm not sure she has what it takes.
3:35
-"You're going to kill you for trying to comfort my baby?" Well, not Renee, but maybe Jack Bauer.
-That's 2 car accidents for Jack Bauer and we'll give him another JBKC. 15+1 = 16
3:37
-You call what just happened a Car Jack (Bauer).
-I don't think Renee Walker did anything to the baby. Wasn't she just leaning over him?
-I also don't think Renee Walker can handle the truth. Jack Bauer is going to need to give her a stern talking to.
-Billy Walsh REALLY wants to know what's going on. Is he the mole? http://twtpoll.com/nl9v97
-That's right, PJKayc, reverse psychology works for Jack Bauer every time!
3:50
-Well now we know how Dubaku escapes capture, but what will he do next week without a crew?
-"Too obvious to be the mole" sounds like every character on '24' every season, and half of them always turn out to be baddies!
3:54
3:55
-Some secret service guys are about to get killed. Oh no.
-Really? An RPG? They couldn't have figured out a better way to do that?
3:57
-That's another JBKC, 16+1=17.
-I think Jack Bauer got 4 there, so 17+4=21. What did you see?
-You knew that the First Gentleman was going to get shot as soon as they showed him, right?

Well, what do you think? My bet is the First Gentleman is going to make it, but only because there's not really any reason for him to die now. Though once in a while they do the bittersweet things where people die for no reason, so he's got that going against him. Not sure why they're still going to be going after Dubaku next week since there really isn't any threat that's been identified. But at least next week we'll find out who the traitor is.

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